I don't own Degrassi or Jane or Lucas or Johnny. I do own Jane's certain thoughts. I am not going to lie, some things are pretty dark in this chapter. But parts of life are pretty dark too so, I guess just enjoy and most importantly, enjoy the ending.
My brother's keeper
Lucas,
You seem surprised that I would write a chapter of my miserable, wonderful, interesting life about you. How could I not? Even though I might not like you very much right now, you are my
brother and nothing in the world could change that.
I don't like your friends. You know that but you have never bothered to ask me why I don't like them. Isn't it obvious? It sure is to me. They look at me with mouthwatering lust, they want
me and I hate that. It takes me back to more painful memories should I say. Of course, this is probably the first time you have learned about those also. These so called friends of yours
have your back, and you have theirs. I guess then it would be pointless for me to reveal to you who they really are. Sister knows best.
Your friends are rotten, cheating, stealing, bullying guys and you are just like them. One of them, Johnny shoves me against a locker and whispers in my ear exactly what he plans on
doing to me. His voice sends shivers down my spine and makes my hair stand on end. I know what he is capable of doing, I know how many teenage lives he can ruin in a blink of an eye
with the shove of a wrist or the twist of a finger against a trigger.
Don't you see the bruises? What do you think that is from, playing football? Of course not, the friends of yours love picking on me. They love holding my hands behind my back and jeering
at me while another one of them takes pleasure in every single pain he can administrate against my face and chest. You do nothing and that fact alone hurts more than what my father
did to me, what your friends did to me, and what my classmates do to me.
Betrayal is the worst injury. Time after time you pass me in school seeing me hurt and abused and yet you do nothing. I conclude that you either like to see me in pain and can care less
when I am hurting. I hold to the truth that even though you are my brother, you aren't really my family. In the same way father and mother are, we are blood related but you haven't
done one thing to better my welfare.
I hold on to hope, though, that one day you will change. I pray to God that sometime soon I can tell you my story and you can sit by me and comfort me giving me restoration and peace
that only a brother can give. I dream that you will stand up to my dad, and your friends, and my classmates and have my back. I know hope is fickle, or that is what everyone has always
told me and I started to believe them. It is just that I don't know if I can continue living without having hope that someday things will get better.
I need them to get better
You need them to get better
The world needs them to get better
Maybe if we all start believing that it is darkest before the dawn, that it will get better; then maybe we can leave and learn from our past and maybe, just maybe life will get a little better.