AN:I have some fanart for chapters 1-3 and the links are in my profile

Okay people, here it is, my longest chapter yet!

Raison d'être (plural raisons d'être[2 or raison d'être)

1. The claimed reason for the existence of something or someone; the purpose of something or someone.

2. A "reason for being"

Chapter 4

Consciousness slowly seeped back into Sakura's mind as she assessed her surroundings. She knew she was in her own bed, wrapped in her warm covers. But she couldn't understand why she was still dressed or why she still had her dark wig on.

As she was mulling things over in her mind she remained absolutely still, keeping her breathing steady. Even when half asleep, her ANBU instincts didn't falter for a second.

Suddenly she felt a presence in the room with her. A kunai swiftly flew from beneath her pillow and in the direction of the presence. She heard the dull thunk of the kunai hitting the wall and knew she had missed.

She sprang from her bed, a second kunai in hand, and took up a defensive pose. However she quickly faltered. Sitting in a chair against the wall was none other than Uchiha Itachi. The kunai she had previously thrown was imbedded in the wall, only inches from his head.

She relaxed her stance and set the kunai on the bedside table before sitting back down on the bed with a sigh. "Sorry about that. Instinct took over for a second."

Itachi had been in deep thought when he sensed the kunai aimed for his head. He had been reflecting on all of the memories he saw while inside the kunoichi's mind. While it was clear that she was a Konoha kunoichi with some connection to his younger brother, he still couldn't place how he knew her.

The girl was obviously at ANBU level to be able to sense his presence and aim so accurately, while still half asleep. The question was why she was in some remote village alone, working as a simple medic. And more importantly why, after realizing who he was, did she agree to help him?

Sakura had recovered her memories of what had happened the previous evening, but something bothered her. When she fell unconscious, she knew she was slumped against the wall, yet somehow she made to her bed and under her covers without realizing it.

Had Itachi moved her there? That was the only possible explanation, and yet it didn't make sense. Why would he go to the trouble of moving her when he could have just left her on the floor? She quickly put those thoughts aside; she would have time to think about it later. Right now she was hungry and her stomach would not be ignored.

Itachi heard some rustling, presumably the girl getting off the bed again. "Are you hungry?" she asked politely.

He shook his head in the negative. Her footsteps moved out of the room, where he heard some rustling, and she padded back in and set something on the bedside table.

Despite that fact that he still had many questions for this girl, there was something even more important he needed to know. "What exactly happened to my eyesight?" He asked.

She sighed again and sat down on the bed. It seemed her stomach would have to wait after all. At least until she had answered his questions. She took a deep breath before speaking.

"The process I used before was simply a temporary measure. I covered all of the damaged nerves connected to your natural eye with healing chakra, temporarily returning your eyesight. I did this to ascertain the full extent of the damage to your eyes. However, when you activated your sharingan and then the mangekyo, all of the progress I had made was undone."

She shifted slightly on the bed before continuing. "As you know, prolonged use of the sharingan, particularly the higher forms: Mangekyo, Tsukuyomi and Amaterasu, cause an excess of chakra to be forced through the chakra channels and nerves surrounding the eye. As a result the tissue surrounding the eyes becomes scorched by the chakra and the natural eyesight becomes diminished."

She stood up, picked something up from the bedside table and slowly walked toward Itachi. She continued her explanation as she moved closer to him.

"If left untreated the damage will begin to affect vision through the sharingan as well. In order to heal the damaged tissue and nerves, I will have to destroy the damaged cells and rebuild each one. This process will take some time and may be painful for you."

Itachi felt her hand take his gently and he tensed slightly before he felt a glass being pressed into his hand. She did the same to his other hand only this time she placed what felt like an apple into it.

"You're going to need the energy if you want me to heal your eyes today." She explained.

He looked down at the items in his hands warily, with unseeing eyes. He was vulnerable and whatever she gave him could be poisoned.

As if sensing his thoughts, she grasped the hand holding the water glass and brought it, along with his hand, to her mouth and took a sip. She did the same thing with the apple, making sure that his hand was still on it before taking a bite.

"There, no poison. Are you satisfied?" she asked forcing her words out in an annoyed tone. Truthfully she was quite grateful that he couldn't see her. She could feel a bright red blush spread across her face.

He responded "Hn." in a satisfied tone and began eating the apple.

"Well I'm going to get myself something to eat. Since it's almost noon we should probably get started on your eyes as soon as we're finished." She said, moving toward the kitchen.

But his words stopped her in her tracks. "Actually I still have some questions about you, in particular, your real identity." Truthfully, he really wanted to demand that she tell him how she knew so much about the sharingan. A person with such knowledge could be a threat to him. However he did still need her to heal his eyes and he had a feeling that she wouldn't take too well to being threatened.

She tensed slightly. She knew this was coming but she wasn't quite ready to answer him. "I will answer all your questions in regards to my identity after I finish with your eyes. As late as it is, I probably won't be able to finish until late tonight, so we need to get started as soon a possible."

Despite his burning curiosity, Itachi decided he could wait until after she'd healed him to interrogate her.

She took his "Hn" as agreement and slipped out of the room to get herself some food.

After breakfast, Sakura asked Itachi to sit on the bed again. She then sat cross legged next to him and positioned her back against the headboard. "I know this may be a little uncomfortable, but I need you to lay your head in my lap." She said softly.

He gave her a slightly suspicious look before placing his head on her lap. Sakura's blush returned in full force at their awkward position. "I know it's a bit strange, but this healing will take several hours and I need you to keep still otherwise I might lose my concentration."

She felt him nod slightly in understanding.

Sakura hesitated slightly; her inner self was going wild at the fact that she had a gorgeous man's head in her lap. Despite the fact that her inner self hated the Uchiha for mind-raping her, she still had no problem ogling him now that he was vulnerable.

He soo hot! Why don't we jump him as soon as we're finished with his eyes, or better yet, lets just jump him now when he defenseless!

There will be no jumping of the S-class criminal. Understand?

You're no fun at all. I mean look at him! You can definitely tell he's a shinobi. All that rippling muscle, hidden away under a thin piece of fabric. And look at that face, Sasuke's got nothing on him. Sasuke always had a kinda soft, feminine face, but not Itachi. He's all man! And he's just lying there, helpless.

He's a patient, that's all.

Come on, you can't tell me that you don't find him the least bit attractive. I'm you remember, I know your feelings even better than you do.

Are you saying that I have feelings for him now? Why don't you just shut up so I can heal him already? As soon as we're done, we're gonna pack everything up and ditch this village. We've been here too long anyways.

You're such a killjoy, and here I was trying to get you laid! I mean come on! We haven't been with a guy in three years!

That's enough! Now shut up so I can concentrate.

Inner Sakura retreated into a corner of her mind, sulking. Sakura gave a silent sigh of relief at her absence. She cracked her fingers and then gently placed them on Itachi's temples. Her cool chakra began flowing into him and with that, the healing process commenced.

Sakura rolled her shoulders slightly, trying to get a kink out. She had finally finished fixing the last few damaged cells and was coating the entire area with a sort of 'protective chakra.'

She looked down at Itachi's face as she removed her hands. His body was completely still and his breathing was deep and steady. She was sure he was asleep but he suddenly spoke, startling her slightly,

"Have you finished?" he asked in his deep, cool voice.

"Umm, yes, I'm done but you need to keep your eyes shut for now." She answered.

He sat up slowly, removing himself from her lap. "If you want, you can follow me to the kitchen and I'll make you something to eat."

His only response was "Hn"

Sakura got off the bed and walked to the kitchen, with Itachi following close behind. "There's a chair about three feet in front of you, if you want to sit down." She said.

She busied herself in the kitchen, preparing the only thing she had in stock, ramen. Itachi took a seat and waited patently for her to finish. Sakura placed a bowl of steaming hot ramen in front of him and placed the chopsticks in his hand.

"I have some things I need to do around the apartment so when you're done just make your self comfortable. By the time I'm finished you should be able to open your eyes safely." She said as she moved out of the kitchen, leaving Itachi to eat in peace.

Sakura gathered all her medical texts and notes and sealed them inside a scroll before stuffing it into a backpack. She did the same with the few personal items she kept around. Next were her clothes, minus one pair, and wigs.

She then collected all of the weapons stashed around her apartment and placed them, along with one pair of clothing, on the far side her bed.

She looked down at herself and wrinkled her nose. She needed to shower…bad. So she quickly shed her clothes and made her way into the bathroom.

Itachi had already finished eating and had been listening to the sound of the medic bustling around the small apartment. It sounded like she was gathering things up, but for what he didn't know. Now it sounded like she was in the shower.

She had finished healing his eyes as promised but she had yet to explain exactly who she was. It seemed as though she was attempting to evade telling him the truth, but that was futile. As soon as she was finished showering, he would get his answers, by force if necessary.

Sakura ran her fingers through her short pink hair, grateful to no longer be wearing a wig. She sighed as the steaming hot water coursed over her body, removing the sweat, dirt and grime that had accumulated over the past two days.

She lingered in the shower until the water turned cold. She was putting off getting out on purpose. She didn't want to explain who she really was or why she was way out here instead of in Konoha.

She wasn't afraid that Itachi would try to kill her; she simply didn't want to relive all those memories. But there was no point in putting off the inevitable.

Sakura quickly toweled off and put on her chest bindings and a pair of black pants that looked identical to her ANBU pair. She stepped out of the bathroom and into her bedroom only to find Itachi sitting there, eyes closed, waiting for her.

"Umm…Hi!" she said, attempting to cover her reaction. She quickly reached next to him and snatched the shirt that she had laid there earlier. As she was busy putting the shirt on, he spoke.

"I believe we have something to discuss." He said, in a cool tone.

Sakura sighed softly "Well first of all you can open your eyes. I think that will explain most of it."

Itachi slowly opened his eyes, his sharingan deactivated. His gaze fell on the woman before him. She wore black sandals, what appeared to be black standard issue ANBU pants, and a black low cut halter top showing off her midriff.

Her clothing showed off a toned physique that was definitely that of a shinobi. But he knew all of this already. When he reached her face, all of the pieces fell into place. She had soft pink lips, angular features, and the most brilliant emerald eyes.

But what really gave it away was her short, choppy, pink hair with long strands in the front framing her face. He knew this girl. She had been the teammate of his little brother and the kyuubi. The girl who was hopelessly in love with his little oto-kun. The same girl who had helped to kill Sasori years earlier.

She was the former apprentice of Tsunade and a powerful medic-nin. She was also the girl he had seen three years prior, amidst the bodies of more than twenty rogue-nins. The girl who had peaked his curiosity during their brief conversation in the woods.

If he recalled correctly, her name was Haruno Sakura. It had been said that her abilities surpassed that of her mentor, both in healing powers and strength. And now here she was, living under an assumed name, in a backwater village, working as a simple medic.

During his mental evaluation of the girl, he almost missed the most important detail. His eyesight! It was as sharp as it had been when he was a child. His eyes had not been this good since he was fourteen.

He paused in his silent musings to look at the girl with his perfected vision. She was actually quiet attractive. She had a long lean body, defined features, and she had grown into her previously oversized forehead.

He could also clearly make out now, what was hanging from her choker. It was a diamond engagement ring. A somewhat strange thing to have hanging on a choker, but before he could mull over the reasons for such a thing, she cleared her throat.

"I'm guessing from your reaction that I don't have to tell you who I am." She said

"No, I remember you quite well, especially from our last encounter." He replied. But he still had at least one burning question for her. "Given who you are and your affection for my brother and the kyuubi, why would you heal me?"

"You know, I've been asking myself that very same question." She said. "But the truth is I'm not your enemy any longer. I'm a missing-nin now and even though I thought I hated you before, I don't any longer. I guess I never really did in the first place."

He raised an eyebrow, urging her to continue.

"I thought I hated you because of Sasuke and I do despise what you did to him, but toreally hate someone, you have to know them. And although I may know quite a bit about you, I don't really know you." She leaned herself against the wall before continuing.

"As a child I was very naive. I thought that everything was black and white. I thought that we were the good guys and everyone we fought were the bad guys. It took me a long time to realize the truth. We were simply mercenaries sanctioned by our countries' leader. We took on jobs for almost anyone in order to bring money into the village. We were simply tools to be used for the sake of the village's prosperity."

"It took you so long to learn something that is taught academy students?" he asked, rather amused. She made a face at him, but continued.

"I had a lot of childish ideals. But the truth became glaringly apparent when I was assigned to the squad to retrieve Sasuke. As the hokage's apprentice I was allowed access to the sealed files regarding the Uchiha clan. The council knew about everything that your clan did. They knew how any child who showed any potential with the sharingan was put into a special program. They knew that the most talented, such as yourself, were purposely desensitized as part of their training. And that the training often included brainwashing them to be completely loyal to the clan. The council didn't care what they did as long as they continued producing such talented shinobi. They probably could have prevented the massacre if they had stepped in but they didn't want to risk losing the sharingan."

Itachi was slightly surprised that she knew so much about his clan and their practices. Everything she spoke of was true. His clan had even tried using types of mind control. His mind had been stronger than the clan believed, so their attempts on him had failed. But he had played the part of the loyal prodigy perfectly. No one knew the truth. No one but Shisui.

He had one friend as a child. One person to whom he confided in. And that person had betrayed him. That betrayal had set off a chain reaction that started with the death of Shisui and ended with the massacre of the Uchiha clan.

At the time, Sasuke was the youngest person in the clan and the only one who hadn't undergone their special 'training' yet. He left Sasuke alive because he was the only innocent one in the entire clan. And even though he was innocent, Itachi couldn't help but hate him a little.

Their mother had protected Sasuke. She was the only reason he hadn't endured the traditional training program. She let them do whatever they wanted with Itachi, but she protected Sasuke.

Itachi made Sasuke hate him so that his only drive in life would be revenge. And so that in the end he would have the death he deserved, at the hands of an Uchiha. But Sasuke was far weaker than he imagined.

He tried to take a shortcut to power by joining Orochimaru. But there were no shortcuts, no fast and easy routes to becoming powerful. Sasuke never learned that, and in the end, it got him killed.

And yet the young medic before him seemed to have learned what Sasuke never could. She had been the weakest member of her team and without any kekkei genkai or special abilities she had become one of the strongest shinobi of her generation.

She was still weak compared to him, but for her to have overcome what she had, showed strength that Sasuke never possessed.

Itachi was pulled from his reminiscing by the girl clearing her throat. She looked at him expectantly.

"Look, now that you know who I am, could you tell me why you came to this village?" she asked

"I heard rumors about a powerful medic in the area." He said simply.

She swore softly at his answer. He raised an eyebrow at her reaction. She noticed his expression and proceeded to explain. "There are still a few ANBU squads after me and if you heard rumors about me then they're probably on their way here right now." She paused to think for a moment. "Look, it's pretty late now and the inn is closed. If you wanna crash here, there's an extra futon in the living room. But I'm leaving in the morning. You probably should too unless you want to run into those ANBU." She turned around to leave the room, not bothering to wait for a response. He stood to follow her but stopped when he caught sight of her back.

"That scar." He said quietly. Sakura stopped and turned her head back to look at him.

"Huh?" she asked. She followed his gaze to the large scar on her back that was centered between her shoulder blades. "Oh, that. It was a gift from your brother." She said calmly as she turned her head back and continued walking. "It was the only thing he ever gave me." She laughed softly as she spoke, but he could hear the bitterness in her tone.

He would recognize that scar anywhere, although he had never before seen it on someone who was still alive. The idea that she could have survived such an attack was incredible.

He thought back to the memories he had witnessed in her mind. He remembered seeing Sasuke lunging at her; lit chidori in hand, but then the memory had skipped forward to when he and the kyuubi were fighting. This girl had been there when Sasuke met his end. Not only that, but she had survived a direct hit from the chidori.

As he followed her out of the room, something still puzzled him. "Why would you keep such a scar?" he asked. He wasn't sure why, but this girl made him more curious than he had ever been. And that could be dangerous. However he couldn't stop himself from wondering why a medic as skilled as she was would not simply remove the scar.

He said as much to her as she unrolled a spare futon and laid it out on the floor.

"Actually it was removed. At least as much as it could be. Wounds that are caused by chakra are much more difficult to heal. And healing a wound caused by that much concentrated, unstable chakra is nearly impossible. That hit broke 5 ribs, punctured my lung in three places, caused massive internal bleeding and damaged my spine."

She said, not stopping once from her task of preparing him a place to sleep. "I went through three surgeries to repair all of the internal damage, but the scar is permanent. Then again, it's not like I could forget that day anyways, even without this scar."

She finished setting out the futon and moved towards her bedroom. "Well, I'm exhausted. I gonna get some sleep. You're welcome to stay if you want. Oh and don't use your sharingan for the next twenty-four hours." And with that she closed the door to her bedroom and went to sleep.

AN: Ok, before anyone complains about Itachi sleeping in Sakura's apartment, there are a few things I'd like to say. First of all, I've read a lot of Ita/Saku fics and many of them show Itachi as some sort of superhuman who doesn't ever need sleep, and (unless he and Sakura have just had a night of mind-blowing sex) refuses to sleep in the presence of others. I don't really agree with that. Itachi may be incredibly strong but he is still human and he does need sleep. I agree that he would be very cautious about sleeping in the presence of others, but I think in this case he is exhausted and he realizes that if Sakura was going to try something, she would have already done so. Plus he is confident enough in his own abilities, that if she were to try something, he would sense her presence long before she was able to act.
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