Pianobuggy: C'mon Vale-shippers! Don't let the mud-shippers take you down
without a fight!
Navi: What's the current review count?
Pianobuggy: 3-0 mudshippers
Navi: o_O... Really? Not ONE vale-shipper has sent you a review?
Pianobuggy: Nope... but I've gotten one burn-shipper and a wind-shipper. Go figure.
Navi: hmm....
~*~*~*~*~Chapter 4~*~*~*~*~
"The Elemental Sparklies and The Wrath of Jenna"
{The scene opens in a cell of a maximum-security prison somewhere in Texas. The only decoration is a projector and a white-screen currently showing the happenings in our weirded-up Weyard. In the cell is an assortment of our heroes, all except for Ivan, Isaac, Kaepora, and Mia. The rest are watching as an ultra-hyper Mia plants a kiss on our once-hero-now-sidekick, Isaac as he hands her a jewel he found in our last chapter}
Jenna: NO!!!! Make it stop!!!! (she buries her head in her hands, bawling, and Garet nervously pats her on the shoulder)
Menardi: (plotting and muttering to herself in a corner)
Sheba: Now, now, Jenna... it's not so bad!
Jenna: THAT'S EASY FOR YOU TO SAY!!! YOU DON'T SEE IVAN FLOUNCING OVER SOME AWFUL.
Felix: (covers Jenna's mouth) Jenna!
Jenna: (rips Felix's hand from her mouth) Shut up Felix! I wasn't going to say anything!
Felix: (rolls his eyes and retires to a corner by Alex)
Saturos: Little sisters... Tsk tsk tsk... (A/N: Ha Ha Razamataz!)
Kraden: I...
Sheba: Shut up, Kraden.
Piers: (from outside the steel door's little eye window thing, carrying a bunch of Taco Bell bags) Hey guys!
Everyone else: o_O
Piers: What? You didn't expect Pianobuggy to put me in prison again did you?
Pianobuggy: (Walking in with the keys) Yeah... After being in jail once already? Besides... in case y'all haven't noticed, Piers was the ONLY one not making a fuss in Chapter One (It's true! You don't believe me? Look yourself!)
Saturos: You can't keep us in jail to serve your whims, Pianobuggy!
Pianobuggy: That's what happens when you mess with the government, Alex... you go to jail. Let's just call what you're doing for me "probation" shall we?
Piers: So who got the burrito?
(fully grown) Link: (In a corner, shaking his head)
{Jenna, still crying, raises her hand}
Pianobuggy: Alrighty then (takes out keys and opens the door and steps in with Piers)
Jenna: That's it! That little vegetable is going to pay! (promptly scorches Pianobuggy into a pile of ashes and runs out the door)
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Navi: (steps in front of a closed, blue curtain, to find the spotlight on her) Uh oh... (clears throat) Umm... Hello everyone! I... uh... well... I suppose you've realized by now that without Pianobuggy, this fic ceases to exist...so... umm...
Pianobuggy: Navi! What are you doing?
Navi: AHHHH!!! G- G- G- Ghost! (Navi shakes to the sound of an alarm bell, goes ghostly white, and a series of cartoon-eyeballs, each as big as Navi herself anyway, pop out of her head. She attempt to fly offstage, but a hand comes out of the curtain and grabs her wing. Pianobuggy, wholly intact, steps out of the curtain.)
Pianobuggy: (as Navi struggles to get away) Settle down Navi... I never died.
Navi: (hysterical) Then who was that who just got burned to a crisp?
Pianobuggy: That was all part of the matrix. It wasn't real.
Navi: what?
Pianobuggy: (rolling her eyes) It was a hologram, courtesy of the REAL Picard, from Star Trek.
Navi: You're confusing me.
Pianobuggy: (exiting the stage with Navi) I'm a magician... an escapist.
Navi: You know what happens to most escapists, Pianobuggy?
Pianobuggy: Shh! Navi! This is a non-violent fic!
Navi: (Sarcastically) Sure it is.....
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
{Ivan, Isaac, Mia, Navi, and (unfortunately) Kaepora Gaebora appear through the portal.}
Kaepora: Is tha-
PDV: Okay... that's it. Kaepora, I'm sorry, but I need to get rid of you now.
Kaepora: What? Hoo?
PDV: (tugging on shirt collar) Well, you see, my evil-authoressness allows me to be cruel and unmerciful to my characters, but you can only torture the readers so much...
Kaepora: ?_?
PDV: Anyways... the REAL person assigned to play Kraden is back from his vacation, so I no longer need you...
{Kaepora tries to protest, but is instantaneously combusted and replaced by, in a swimsuit, scuba goggles, a lei, and a Hawaiian shirt}
Alex: Where am I?
Ivan: You're not serious...
Mia: HE's Kraden?
Alex: I'm what? What's going on?
Isaac: (taking sincere joy in torturing Alex) Well, Alex, (he puts his arm around Alex's shoulder) We've all switched rolls for this fic right? (Alex nods) Well, you're Kraden.
Alex: (eyes widen) No way! That over-talkative idiot who bores even those who like dialogue in games into a stupor and never gets to kick monster butt or be worth anything or do psynergy or figure anything out or ANYTHING???
Ivan: He's sounding like Kraden already...
Isaac: And that would mean...
PDV: Ooh! I almost forgot (a loud snap is heard and Alex progresses to become about 600 years old, JUST LIKE KRADEN!)
Alex: Ahhh!!!
Everyone: Ahhh!!!
Ivan: (giggling) HA! Alex! You're... OLD!!!!
Kraden's Disembodied Voice: (Thunder and lightning) I heard that...
Alex: I am not going along with this Pianobuggy! You can't make me!
Mia: (Covering his mouth. In a scared voice.) Be careful what you say, Alex...
Alex: No! I refuse! I'm all-powerful and I'm going to screw this story up until I get my- (A large bucket of ice-water that came out of nowhere empties itself over Alex's head)
PDV: Just get on with it, Alex...
Alex: (Squeezing out his hair and beard) No! I will not!
PDV: If I make you young again will you get on with it?
Alex: (slyly) maybe...
PDV: Oh, fine... but only because it's too hard to picture you old...
{Alex becomes young again}
Alex: Yes! Alright kiddos... Let's get this over with. Oh look, the elemental stars, is this the ocean? What's the ocean? The ocean is this big thing at the end of the world that has waves, someday I'll show it to you, with one elemental star one can rule the world because it is the basis of alchemy, blah blah blah, there are four elements, earth, fi-
Ivan: Wrong!
Alex: (shocked by the interruption, is now hanging off of the edge of the platform) Wha-?
Ivan: You're wrong!
Alex: Mia! Mia, help me up!
Mia: (looking over the edge) I think he's got a point there, Al...
Alex: For Mercury's sake, don't CALL me that...
Mia: What, Al? (holding out her hands in a vision-like state) I can see it now! Big AL's elemental stars and bar-be-que!!!
Alex: slipping... someone... please... help me...
Ivan: Not until you admit you're wrong!!
Alex: WRONG ABOUT WHAT?!! I'M ABOUT TO FALL TO A WATERY GRAVE!!!
Navi: Well with that sort of attitude, Nayru knows you deserve it...
Ivan: Nayru?
Navi: Forget it.
Ivan: (shrugs)
Isaac: (looking at Alex, who is hanging on by three fingers) Perhaps we should let him up...
Ivan: Not until...
{Isaac and Mia are, nevertheless, pulling Alex up}
Ivan: Fine! I'll just have to deal with this myself. (marches up to Alex and stands up as straight as he can, so that they are nose-to-nose)
Alex: You grew didn't you?
Ivan: Admit it... You're wrong...
Alex: About WHAT?!!
Ivan: (Goes into a frenzy) There are not four elements, there are 118! Water is a compound! Earth are mixtures! Wind isn't even matter! It's the movement of air... and as for fire... It's a chemical reaction! Hydrogen! Helium! Lithium! Beryllium! Boron! Carbon! Nitrogen! Oxygen! Fluorine! (A/N: Can you tell I'm in chemistry this year?) Neon! Sodium! Magnesium! Aluminum!...
Mia: Stop the madness!
Ivan: Silicon! Phosphorus! Sulfur! Chlorine! Argon! Potassium (that stuff in the yummy bananas)! Calcium! Scandium! Titanium! Vanadium! Chromium! Manganese! Iron! Cobalt! Nickel! Copper! Zinc! Gallium! Germanium (no... it's not a plant... it's a metal... you're thinking of Germania)! (Takes a deep breath) Arsenic! Selenium! Bromine! Krypton! Rubidium!...
Alex: (starts choking Ivan)
Ivan: No! The truth will not be silenced! Strontium (gag)! Zirconium (choke)! Molybdenum (wheeze)!
{Ivan, from Alex choking him and Pianobuggy not remembering any more elements, falls to his knees and goes unconscious. Alex drops him on the floor}
Alex: ...heretic.
Isaac and Mia: (on their knees) Thank you o gracious Alex!
Alex: Shut up and get the elemental stars for me!
Isaac: Wait... I can't get them without Ivan... It wouldn't fit the story.
Alex: Forget the story! Get the stars NOW! (gets a manic look on his face)
Mia: (backing away) Okay, Alex...
Isaac: (Also backing away) Don't have a hissy-fit...
Mia: gasp* Sparklies...
Isaac: No, Mia...
Mia: (mesmerized) The ultimate sparklies...
{Mia and Isaac hop across the platforms and get the Venus, Mercury, and Jupiter Stars... They turn around to see...}
Menardi: I think they've spotted us...
Mia: WHAT WAS THAT, MENARDI? YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO SPEAK UP!!!
Menardi: I SAID I THINK THEY'VE SPOTTED US!!!
Mia: OH!!!..... THANK YOU!!
Garet: HI MIA, HI ISAAC! (looks down at Ivan) WHAT'D YOU DO TO HIM?!
Mia: ALEX KNOCKED HIM OUT... HE WAS GOING ON ABOUT SOME PAGAN SCIENCE THING... SOMETHING ABOUT PERIODIC TABLES!!!
Garet: WEIRD
Menardi: ALL RIGHT!!! ENOUGH CHIT-CHAT!!! AHEM* I WAS HOPING THEY'D GET ALL THE ELEMENTAL STARS BEFORE THEY SPOTTED US!!!
Jenna: Alright, WHERE IS SHE?
Mia: WHERE IS WHO?
Jenna: (sees Mia... eye daggers) YOU!!!
Mia: ME WHAT?!!
Jenna: YOU KISSED MY ISAAC!!!
Isaac: uh oh...
{Jenna moves to hop across the platforms, and Menardi holds her back}
Menardi: YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE HERE!!!
Jenna: Ouch, Menardi... I'm standing right here...
Menardi: Oh, sorry... You aren't supposed to be here...
Jenna: I don't care... I'm going to kill Mia.
Menardi: Well, while you are over there, can you get the elemental stars for us?
{Jenna nods and hops over to where Mia and Isaac are.}
Mia: (hiding behind Isaac) Isaac... save me, Isaac...
Isaac: Jenna, the reviewers want mudshipping... so you have to lay off.
Jenna: But it's not fair!
Isaac: I know it's not fair Jenna... I love you too... (BOOS and rotten vegetables from the mudshippers... Mia slaps Isaac) but we gotta do what the REVIEWERS want...
Jenna: (sniffling, tears forming) But I thought what other people think didn't matter to you...
Isaac: (snorts) Are you kidding? Of COURSE it does... I'm a conceited game hero, remember?
Jenna: (bites her lip, and then breaks into sobbing. She snatches the elemental stars, [Mia says: NO! THE SPARKLIES!] and runs back to Garet and Menardi, still sobbing) Fine! Stay with your #@*^&! I'm going to rule the world with Garet! (Menardi snarls; Garet blushes) Oh and Menardi too! (She charges her psynergy) ~Plasma~ (Mia's toasted)
Everyone: ((o_O))
Isaac: Jenna... You're SHEBA?!!
Jenna: o_O... cooooool...
Ivan: (wakes up) Where am I?
Isaac: Sheba isn't supposed to show up till the end of the game!!
PDV: Well, it just worked out this way... ^_^
Menardi: WELL WHAT ARE YOU JUST STANDING AROUND FOR?!! ISAAC! MIA! GET THE LAST STAR!
Isaac: AND WHY SHOULD WE DO THAT?!
Menardi: (evilly) YOU DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO HAPPEN TO YOUR FRIEND'S, DO YOU?
Isaac: WHO? ALEX AND IVAN?
Mia: IS THAT WHO YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT??
Menardi: YES! IF YOU WANT THEM SAFE, YOU'LL GET US THE STAR!!!
Isaac: WELL, GOSH! WE DON'T CARE ABOUT THEM!!! YOU CAN HAVE THEM!
Menardi: o_O
Ivan: HEY!!!
Menardi: (pulls out scythe) ALRIGHT.... WHAT ABOUT.... GARET?!!!!
Isaac: o_O... NOOOO!! YOU CAN'T HURT GARET!!! MY BUDDY!!! MY PAL!!!
Menardi: THAT'S RIGHT! BRING US THE STAR OR KISS GARET GOODBYE!!
Isaac: BLAGHH!!! WHY WOULD I WANT TO DO THAT?!!!
Menardi: (rolling her eyes) IT'S A FIGURE OF SPEECH!
Isaac: OH...
Garet: Umm... Menardi... This was not part of the bargain...
Menardi: Shut up... He'll bring the stars.
{Isaac and Mia hop to the stone in front of the center platform}
Mia: (grabbing Isaac's arm) Umm... Isaac?
Isaac: What is it Mia?
Mia: (looking nervously at Jenna, who is glaring daggers at her) Once we get to the platform, what is our guarantee that Jenna won't ring my neck?
Isaac: Good point... Hey Menardi! (Menardi turns) What's our guarantee that no harm will come to us or Garet once we give you the star?
Menardi: umm... Now where's that boy?
{Link, with majora's mask (which is too small for him, by the way) on, comes through the portal}
Ahh. there he is. Link! Take off your mask! He will be your guarantee!
{Link takes off the mask... no one gasps}
Isaac: How is THAT a guarantee?
Menardi: Link will make sure no harm comes to you or his sister.
Mia: He's my brother? (dreamily) too bad...
Isaac: Mia!
Mia: (snaps out of it) sorry...
Isaac: Umm... before I agree to this, I want to make sure this guy can actually stand up to you.
{Link takes out his __________ (insert favorite Zelda weapon here... I'm lazy) and promptly _______(insert whatever that weapon does) Alex.}
Isaac: ...Works for me.
{Isaac and Mia hop to the Mars star and take it out. The water empties somewhere and the cavern becomes a blazing inferno...}
Garet: *sigh* I guess this means we have to go...
Ivan: NO! You can't leave with me! Jenna's supposed to leave with you!
Menardi: No time to fix it... We'll switch when we rendez-vous at the Mercury light-house.
Ivan: (whining) But I don't WANNA go with you...
Menardi: FINE! Stay here! I don't care!
Ivan: Isaac! Mia! Don't die! (Link, Garet, Menardi, Ivan, and Alex leave through the portal)
Mia: Did you hear that, Isaac?
Isaac: (tearing up) yeah, Mia, that was so SWEET...
Mia: (tearing up too) After all we've done to him...
Voice: ahem*
{Mia turns around, screams horror-movie style and points. Isaac turns around, squeals and hides behind the statue}
Kraden-One: Oh, come-on now, I'm not really that scary...
Mia: It's Kraden's head! Only Bigger! AHHH!!!
Isaac: Maybe it's like the great-and-powerful Oz... maybe it's not real...
Mia: Yeah, but there was still the guy behind the curtain operating it...
Isaac: (shudders) true...
Mia: What is it, Kraden-One?
Isaac: Kraden-One! Good one Mia!
Mia: What? That's his name...
Isaac: How do you know that?
Mia: Well, just look at the screen!
Kraden-One: Alright! That's enough! Listen... You need to go after Link and the others, rescue Ivan and Alex, and not allow them to enter and light the lighthouses and of course under a cruel twist of fate Pianobuggy put my only role in a ready-to-explode active volcano so I couldn't say anything I wanted (suddenly, out of pity, Isaac and Mia are warped out of the volcano by Pianobuggy) to say-
{Out of nowhere, Saturos appears}
Saturos: D@*#! Where is everybody?
Kraden-One: I believe the line Garet was supposed to say was... "You're late Satur..."
{Suddenly the volcano explodes and Kraden-one is rocketed out of Weyard, through the galaxy, and, through a wormhole in the space-time continuum, lands on ancient earth and destroys all the dinosaurs, thus ending any hope for a REAL Jurassic park (thanks a LOT, Kraden-One, good going...) while Saturos is... well, you'll just have to keep reading to find out what happened to him ^_^}
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
End of Chapter 4
Navi: I had almost no lines in that WHOLE THING!!!
Pianobuggy: -_-' uhh...
Navi: You're going to pay Pianobuggy... just wait till TONIGHT!
Pinobuggy: Right. A few notes.
Sheba: (Alright if I just call you Sheba?) There's your cameo (in two places really... one as Jenna and one as Sheba... anyways...)
Sarah: Since you didn't leave a way for me to contact you, I'm just going to respond here... I've been living in Missouri for the past 13 years, but I was born in the Twilight Zone (a.k.a. Nebraska)
Please Review!
Navi: What's the current review count?
Pianobuggy: 3-0 mudshippers
Navi: o_O... Really? Not ONE vale-shipper has sent you a review?
Pianobuggy: Nope... but I've gotten one burn-shipper and a wind-shipper. Go figure.
Navi: hmm....
~*~*~*~*~Chapter 4~*~*~*~*~
"The Elemental Sparklies and The Wrath of Jenna"
{The scene opens in a cell of a maximum-security prison somewhere in Texas. The only decoration is a projector and a white-screen currently showing the happenings in our weirded-up Weyard. In the cell is an assortment of our heroes, all except for Ivan, Isaac, Kaepora, and Mia. The rest are watching as an ultra-hyper Mia plants a kiss on our once-hero-now-sidekick, Isaac as he hands her a jewel he found in our last chapter}
Jenna: NO!!!! Make it stop!!!! (she buries her head in her hands, bawling, and Garet nervously pats her on the shoulder)
Menardi: (plotting and muttering to herself in a corner)
Sheba: Now, now, Jenna... it's not so bad!
Jenna: THAT'S EASY FOR YOU TO SAY!!! YOU DON'T SEE IVAN FLOUNCING OVER SOME AWFUL.
Felix: (covers Jenna's mouth) Jenna!
Jenna: (rips Felix's hand from her mouth) Shut up Felix! I wasn't going to say anything!
Felix: (rolls his eyes and retires to a corner by Alex)
Saturos: Little sisters... Tsk tsk tsk... (A/N: Ha Ha Razamataz!)
Kraden: I...
Sheba: Shut up, Kraden.
Piers: (from outside the steel door's little eye window thing, carrying a bunch of Taco Bell bags) Hey guys!
Everyone else: o_O
Piers: What? You didn't expect Pianobuggy to put me in prison again did you?
Pianobuggy: (Walking in with the keys) Yeah... After being in jail once already? Besides... in case y'all haven't noticed, Piers was the ONLY one not making a fuss in Chapter One (It's true! You don't believe me? Look yourself!)
Saturos: You can't keep us in jail to serve your whims, Pianobuggy!
Pianobuggy: That's what happens when you mess with the government, Alex... you go to jail. Let's just call what you're doing for me "probation" shall we?
Piers: So who got the burrito?
(fully grown) Link: (In a corner, shaking his head)
{Jenna, still crying, raises her hand}
Pianobuggy: Alrighty then (takes out keys and opens the door and steps in with Piers)
Jenna: That's it! That little vegetable is going to pay! (promptly scorches Pianobuggy into a pile of ashes and runs out the door)
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Navi: (steps in front of a closed, blue curtain, to find the spotlight on her) Uh oh... (clears throat) Umm... Hello everyone! I... uh... well... I suppose you've realized by now that without Pianobuggy, this fic ceases to exist...so... umm...
Pianobuggy: Navi! What are you doing?
Navi: AHHHH!!! G- G- G- Ghost! (Navi shakes to the sound of an alarm bell, goes ghostly white, and a series of cartoon-eyeballs, each as big as Navi herself anyway, pop out of her head. She attempt to fly offstage, but a hand comes out of the curtain and grabs her wing. Pianobuggy, wholly intact, steps out of the curtain.)
Pianobuggy: (as Navi struggles to get away) Settle down Navi... I never died.
Navi: (hysterical) Then who was that who just got burned to a crisp?
Pianobuggy: That was all part of the matrix. It wasn't real.
Navi: what?
Pianobuggy: (rolling her eyes) It was a hologram, courtesy of the REAL Picard, from Star Trek.
Navi: You're confusing me.
Pianobuggy: (exiting the stage with Navi) I'm a magician... an escapist.
Navi: You know what happens to most escapists, Pianobuggy?
Pianobuggy: Shh! Navi! This is a non-violent fic!
Navi: (Sarcastically) Sure it is.....
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
{Ivan, Isaac, Mia, Navi, and (unfortunately) Kaepora Gaebora appear through the portal.}
Kaepora: Is tha-
PDV: Okay... that's it. Kaepora, I'm sorry, but I need to get rid of you now.
Kaepora: What? Hoo?
PDV: (tugging on shirt collar) Well, you see, my evil-authoressness allows me to be cruel and unmerciful to my characters, but you can only torture the readers so much...
Kaepora: ?_?
PDV: Anyways... the REAL person assigned to play Kraden is back from his vacation, so I no longer need you...
{Kaepora tries to protest, but is instantaneously combusted and replaced by, in a swimsuit, scuba goggles, a lei, and a Hawaiian shirt}
Alex: Where am I?
Ivan: You're not serious...
Mia: HE's Kraden?
Alex: I'm what? What's going on?
Isaac: (taking sincere joy in torturing Alex) Well, Alex, (he puts his arm around Alex's shoulder) We've all switched rolls for this fic right? (Alex nods) Well, you're Kraden.
Alex: (eyes widen) No way! That over-talkative idiot who bores even those who like dialogue in games into a stupor and never gets to kick monster butt or be worth anything or do psynergy or figure anything out or ANYTHING???
Ivan: He's sounding like Kraden already...
Isaac: And that would mean...
PDV: Ooh! I almost forgot (a loud snap is heard and Alex progresses to become about 600 years old, JUST LIKE KRADEN!)
Alex: Ahhh!!!
Everyone: Ahhh!!!
Ivan: (giggling) HA! Alex! You're... OLD!!!!
Kraden's Disembodied Voice: (Thunder and lightning) I heard that...
Alex: I am not going along with this Pianobuggy! You can't make me!
Mia: (Covering his mouth. In a scared voice.) Be careful what you say, Alex...
Alex: No! I refuse! I'm all-powerful and I'm going to screw this story up until I get my- (A large bucket of ice-water that came out of nowhere empties itself over Alex's head)
PDV: Just get on with it, Alex...
Alex: (Squeezing out his hair and beard) No! I will not!
PDV: If I make you young again will you get on with it?
Alex: (slyly) maybe...
PDV: Oh, fine... but only because it's too hard to picture you old...
{Alex becomes young again}
Alex: Yes! Alright kiddos... Let's get this over with. Oh look, the elemental stars, is this the ocean? What's the ocean? The ocean is this big thing at the end of the world that has waves, someday I'll show it to you, with one elemental star one can rule the world because it is the basis of alchemy, blah blah blah, there are four elements, earth, fi-
Ivan: Wrong!
Alex: (shocked by the interruption, is now hanging off of the edge of the platform) Wha-?
Ivan: You're wrong!
Alex: Mia! Mia, help me up!
Mia: (looking over the edge) I think he's got a point there, Al...
Alex: For Mercury's sake, don't CALL me that...
Mia: What, Al? (holding out her hands in a vision-like state) I can see it now! Big AL's elemental stars and bar-be-que!!!
Alex: slipping... someone... please... help me...
Ivan: Not until you admit you're wrong!!
Alex: WRONG ABOUT WHAT?!! I'M ABOUT TO FALL TO A WATERY GRAVE!!!
Navi: Well with that sort of attitude, Nayru knows you deserve it...
Ivan: Nayru?
Navi: Forget it.
Ivan: (shrugs)
Isaac: (looking at Alex, who is hanging on by three fingers) Perhaps we should let him up...
Ivan: Not until...
{Isaac and Mia are, nevertheless, pulling Alex up}
Ivan: Fine! I'll just have to deal with this myself. (marches up to Alex and stands up as straight as he can, so that they are nose-to-nose)
Alex: You grew didn't you?
Ivan: Admit it... You're wrong...
Alex: About WHAT?!!
Ivan: (Goes into a frenzy) There are not four elements, there are 118! Water is a compound! Earth are mixtures! Wind isn't even matter! It's the movement of air... and as for fire... It's a chemical reaction! Hydrogen! Helium! Lithium! Beryllium! Boron! Carbon! Nitrogen! Oxygen! Fluorine! (A/N: Can you tell I'm in chemistry this year?) Neon! Sodium! Magnesium! Aluminum!...
Mia: Stop the madness!
Ivan: Silicon! Phosphorus! Sulfur! Chlorine! Argon! Potassium (that stuff in the yummy bananas)! Calcium! Scandium! Titanium! Vanadium! Chromium! Manganese! Iron! Cobalt! Nickel! Copper! Zinc! Gallium! Germanium (no... it's not a plant... it's a metal... you're thinking of Germania)! (Takes a deep breath) Arsenic! Selenium! Bromine! Krypton! Rubidium!...
Alex: (starts choking Ivan)
Ivan: No! The truth will not be silenced! Strontium (gag)! Zirconium (choke)! Molybdenum (wheeze)!
{Ivan, from Alex choking him and Pianobuggy not remembering any more elements, falls to his knees and goes unconscious. Alex drops him on the floor}
Alex: ...heretic.
Isaac and Mia: (on their knees) Thank you o gracious Alex!
Alex: Shut up and get the elemental stars for me!
Isaac: Wait... I can't get them without Ivan... It wouldn't fit the story.
Alex: Forget the story! Get the stars NOW! (gets a manic look on his face)
Mia: (backing away) Okay, Alex...
Isaac: (Also backing away) Don't have a hissy-fit...
Mia: gasp* Sparklies...
Isaac: No, Mia...
Mia: (mesmerized) The ultimate sparklies...
{Mia and Isaac hop across the platforms and get the Venus, Mercury, and Jupiter Stars... They turn around to see...}
Menardi: I think they've spotted us...
Mia: WHAT WAS THAT, MENARDI? YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO SPEAK UP!!!
Menardi: I SAID I THINK THEY'VE SPOTTED US!!!
Mia: OH!!!..... THANK YOU!!
Garet: HI MIA, HI ISAAC! (looks down at Ivan) WHAT'D YOU DO TO HIM?!
Mia: ALEX KNOCKED HIM OUT... HE WAS GOING ON ABOUT SOME PAGAN SCIENCE THING... SOMETHING ABOUT PERIODIC TABLES!!!
Garet: WEIRD
Menardi: ALL RIGHT!!! ENOUGH CHIT-CHAT!!! AHEM* I WAS HOPING THEY'D GET ALL THE ELEMENTAL STARS BEFORE THEY SPOTTED US!!!
Jenna: Alright, WHERE IS SHE?
Mia: WHERE IS WHO?
Jenna: (sees Mia... eye daggers) YOU!!!
Mia: ME WHAT?!!
Jenna: YOU KISSED MY ISAAC!!!
Isaac: uh oh...
{Jenna moves to hop across the platforms, and Menardi holds her back}
Menardi: YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE HERE!!!
Jenna: Ouch, Menardi... I'm standing right here...
Menardi: Oh, sorry... You aren't supposed to be here...
Jenna: I don't care... I'm going to kill Mia.
Menardi: Well, while you are over there, can you get the elemental stars for us?
{Jenna nods and hops over to where Mia and Isaac are.}
Mia: (hiding behind Isaac) Isaac... save me, Isaac...
Isaac: Jenna, the reviewers want mudshipping... so you have to lay off.
Jenna: But it's not fair!
Isaac: I know it's not fair Jenna... I love you too... (BOOS and rotten vegetables from the mudshippers... Mia slaps Isaac) but we gotta do what the REVIEWERS want...
Jenna: (sniffling, tears forming) But I thought what other people think didn't matter to you...
Isaac: (snorts) Are you kidding? Of COURSE it does... I'm a conceited game hero, remember?
Jenna: (bites her lip, and then breaks into sobbing. She snatches the elemental stars, [Mia says: NO! THE SPARKLIES!] and runs back to Garet and Menardi, still sobbing) Fine! Stay with your #@*^&! I'm going to rule the world with Garet! (Menardi snarls; Garet blushes) Oh and Menardi too! (She charges her psynergy) ~Plasma~ (Mia's toasted)
Everyone: ((o_O))
Isaac: Jenna... You're SHEBA?!!
Jenna: o_O... cooooool...
Ivan: (wakes up) Where am I?
Isaac: Sheba isn't supposed to show up till the end of the game!!
PDV: Well, it just worked out this way... ^_^
Menardi: WELL WHAT ARE YOU JUST STANDING AROUND FOR?!! ISAAC! MIA! GET THE LAST STAR!
Isaac: AND WHY SHOULD WE DO THAT?!
Menardi: (evilly) YOU DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO HAPPEN TO YOUR FRIEND'S, DO YOU?
Isaac: WHO? ALEX AND IVAN?
Mia: IS THAT WHO YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT??
Menardi: YES! IF YOU WANT THEM SAFE, YOU'LL GET US THE STAR!!!
Isaac: WELL, GOSH! WE DON'T CARE ABOUT THEM!!! YOU CAN HAVE THEM!
Menardi: o_O
Ivan: HEY!!!
Menardi: (pulls out scythe) ALRIGHT.... WHAT ABOUT.... GARET?!!!!
Isaac: o_O... NOOOO!! YOU CAN'T HURT GARET!!! MY BUDDY!!! MY PAL!!!
Menardi: THAT'S RIGHT! BRING US THE STAR OR KISS GARET GOODBYE!!
Isaac: BLAGHH!!! WHY WOULD I WANT TO DO THAT?!!!
Menardi: (rolling her eyes) IT'S A FIGURE OF SPEECH!
Isaac: OH...
Garet: Umm... Menardi... This was not part of the bargain...
Menardi: Shut up... He'll bring the stars.
{Isaac and Mia hop to the stone in front of the center platform}
Mia: (grabbing Isaac's arm) Umm... Isaac?
Isaac: What is it Mia?
Mia: (looking nervously at Jenna, who is glaring daggers at her) Once we get to the platform, what is our guarantee that Jenna won't ring my neck?
Isaac: Good point... Hey Menardi! (Menardi turns) What's our guarantee that no harm will come to us or Garet once we give you the star?
Menardi: umm... Now where's that boy?
{Link, with majora's mask (which is too small for him, by the way) on, comes through the portal}
Ahh. there he is. Link! Take off your mask! He will be your guarantee!
{Link takes off the mask... no one gasps}
Isaac: How is THAT a guarantee?
Menardi: Link will make sure no harm comes to you or his sister.
Mia: He's my brother? (dreamily) too bad...
Isaac: Mia!
Mia: (snaps out of it) sorry...
Isaac: Umm... before I agree to this, I want to make sure this guy can actually stand up to you.
{Link takes out his __________ (insert favorite Zelda weapon here... I'm lazy) and promptly _______(insert whatever that weapon does) Alex.}
Isaac: ...Works for me.
{Isaac and Mia hop to the Mars star and take it out. The water empties somewhere and the cavern becomes a blazing inferno...}
Garet: *sigh* I guess this means we have to go...
Ivan: NO! You can't leave with me! Jenna's supposed to leave with you!
Menardi: No time to fix it... We'll switch when we rendez-vous at the Mercury light-house.
Ivan: (whining) But I don't WANNA go with you...
Menardi: FINE! Stay here! I don't care!
Ivan: Isaac! Mia! Don't die! (Link, Garet, Menardi, Ivan, and Alex leave through the portal)
Mia: Did you hear that, Isaac?
Isaac: (tearing up) yeah, Mia, that was so SWEET...
Mia: (tearing up too) After all we've done to him...
Voice: ahem*
{Mia turns around, screams horror-movie style and points. Isaac turns around, squeals and hides behind the statue}
Kraden-One: Oh, come-on now, I'm not really that scary...
Mia: It's Kraden's head! Only Bigger! AHHH!!!
Isaac: Maybe it's like the great-and-powerful Oz... maybe it's not real...
Mia: Yeah, but there was still the guy behind the curtain operating it...
Isaac: (shudders) true...
Mia: What is it, Kraden-One?
Isaac: Kraden-One! Good one Mia!
Mia: What? That's his name...
Isaac: How do you know that?
Mia: Well, just look at the screen!
Kraden-One: Alright! That's enough! Listen... You need to go after Link and the others, rescue Ivan and Alex, and not allow them to enter and light the lighthouses and of course under a cruel twist of fate Pianobuggy put my only role in a ready-to-explode active volcano so I couldn't say anything I wanted (suddenly, out of pity, Isaac and Mia are warped out of the volcano by Pianobuggy) to say-
{Out of nowhere, Saturos appears}
Saturos: D@*#! Where is everybody?
Kraden-One: I believe the line Garet was supposed to say was... "You're late Satur..."
{Suddenly the volcano explodes and Kraden-one is rocketed out of Weyard, through the galaxy, and, through a wormhole in the space-time continuum, lands on ancient earth and destroys all the dinosaurs, thus ending any hope for a REAL Jurassic park (thanks a LOT, Kraden-One, good going...) while Saturos is... well, you'll just have to keep reading to find out what happened to him ^_^}
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
End of Chapter 4
Navi: I had almost no lines in that WHOLE THING!!!
Pianobuggy: -_-' uhh...
Navi: You're going to pay Pianobuggy... just wait till TONIGHT!
Pinobuggy: Right. A few notes.
Sheba: (Alright if I just call you Sheba?) There's your cameo (in two places really... one as Jenna and one as Sheba... anyways...)
Sarah: Since you didn't leave a way for me to contact you, I'm just going to respond here... I've been living in Missouri for the past 13 years, but I was born in the Twilight Zone (a.k.a. Nebraska)
Please Review!