Jeff's P.O.V.
When I walk into the bathroom, I sit down on the floor and bury my face in my hands. I wasn't intending to cry when I came in here, but I can't keep. I just feel damn worthless. So undesirable. Like nobody wants me and no one ever will. Being alone has hurt before, but never like this. It's like all of a sudden everything is coming to light, and it really just makes me hate myself.
As much as I hate to admit it, I wish I was more like Sebastian. It hurt when he started dating Nick, and every day since. But after what happened at the club last night with Hunter, I really can't take it. I'm always everyone's second choice, if that. Never first. But Sebastian on the other hand, he's gorgeous. Everyone wants him or at least wants to be just like him. He's fearless, sly and completely irresistible. It's not fair that he can do whatever he wants and have everyone still be obsessed with him. I'm aware of every breath I take, I'm careful with everything I do, but no one even notices. When we're in the same room together, I might as well be invisible.
I curl up and hug my knees, trying to calm down. A few moments later, Sebastian walks over and knocks on the door, "Hey, Jeffy, are you okay in there?"
"Um, yeah, I'm fine." I mutter quickly, wiping my tears and getting to my feet, "I'll be out in a minute."
"Are you sure?" he asks gently, "Look, I'm sure I sounded kind of like a jerk a few minutes ago. I'm sorry. Can you open the door so we can talk?"
As much as I don't want to, I know he'll only continue to pester me if I don't open the door, so I try to put on a straight face and unlock it. Without opening the door, I bend over and start washing my face to attempt to hide that I was crying.
He walks in, closing the door behind him, and pets me on the back, "Hey, are you alright?"
I dry my face off with a towel and sit down on the side of the tub, "Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"
He takes a seat next to me and puts his arm around me, "You're obviously not. What's the matter?"
"Nothing..."
He rolls his eyes, "Don't lie...it's obvious, okay? So just tell me. I'll keep it between us, okay?"
I cross my arms and sigh heavily, "It's just that... I feel like shit."
"How so?"
I look up at him, "How do you think? No one wants me, no matter what I do, I'm not good enough for anyone. It just, it sucks..."
He looks at me sympathetically, "What do you mean no one wants you? You're my best friend, you're Nick's best friend..."
I shake my head, "Yeah, maybe. But you both would chose each other over me any day of the week."
He looks down, "Not necessarily. You mean so much to us..."
"You don't have to deny it, it's obvious. And I get it, you guys are in love with each other. I just wish that once, just once, someone could actually want me, you know? I wish that someone would fall in love me..."
"Look, Jeffy, don't talk like this, okay?" he mutters gently, "Nick and I love you. And what about that guy at the club? He seemed to like you as more than a friend. And you've, you've had boyfriends and stuff before..."
I bite my lip, "That guy at the club only showed the slightest interest because his first choice, you, wasn't available. And it's the same thing with Nick...he chose you. And the only guy I've ever dated dumped me like I was yesterday's news...You just, you have no idea..."
He puts his hand on my shoulder, "What do you mean with Nick?"
"Nothing." I reply defensively, standing up, "I'm just saying that everyone always wants you and not me. I don't resent you for it, I just wish I could be as beautiful as you..."
"But you are," he argues quietly, "People just like me because I shove myself down their throats, not literally..well, never mind. You're just a little more shy... But don't think that guys don't like you, cause they do. I mean, you're sweet, funny, gorgeous, blond-what's not to love?"
A half smile spreads across my face, "Thanks, Bas. I don't know how true that is, but you seem to believe it, so I really appreciate that."
He walks over to me and pulls me into a hug, "It'll be alright. I know you'll find someone. And if you want, I can help you out. I know about a million different guys that would love to date someone like you. Just say the word and I'll hook you up."
"Thanks, but no thanks..." I mutter, resting my head on his shoulder, "That would half way defeat the purpose, I want someone to like me because they just do, you know?"
"I guess so." he replies casually, "But still. I figured just saying 'you'll find someone someday' isn't honestly all that helpful. Let me know if you change your mind."
I nod, "Sure thing."
He pauses, "Jeff...can I, can you keep a secret?"
"Yeah, what's up?" I ask, happy to change the subject.
He sighs, "Promise you won't say anything to anyone. Especially not Nick."
"Um, sure. What is it?"
He looks around nervously, "That guy from the club... His name wasn't Hunter, was it?"
I nod, "Yeah, when you mention it. Why?"
He sighs, "Um, just wondering, I found a number in my pocket. I just threw it away, but I guess I was curious..."
"Sure, I wouldn't really call that a secret, though."
"Yeah, I know. I just wouldn't want Nick getting the wrong idea."
"I'm sure he wouldn't," I reply with a soft smile, "But I get it. Speaking of Nick, he's probably wondering where we are."
He nods, opening the door, "Right."
"Wait," I say quickly before he walks out of the room, "You can keep a secret, too, right?"
He smiles, "I won't say a word."
"Thanks." I mutter as he walks out of the room. I look myself over quickly in the mirror before following him into the other room.