Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural. It belongs to Eric Kripke.

A special thanks to AlElizabeth for beta'ing my story! :)

A/N: For doyleshuny and Er-BearG32 who asked for a follow-up on the last chapter. I so hope you like it. It's very angsty! Non-con is implied. NOT GRAPHIC.

Part Three: 1998 part 2

Dean drove and drove. Neither he nor Sam said anything. The only thing that was in Dean's mind was getting Sam as far away from that wretched town and those assholes. Twenty miles… Fifty miles… Still nothing. A whole other state, still Sam and Dean said nothing to each other. The only reason they stopped the Impala was to put gas in the car. Dean would go into the store and get some snacks and pay for the gas and then they were back on the road. Dean got in the car again and put what he bought between them and started the car moving again. Sam looked down at the bag and saw what was in it. Then he stole a glance up at his brother. He so much wanted to talk to him, but he didn't know what to say. He knew it was his fault and that Dean was mad at him, but he just couldn't bring himself to open his mouth. Then, how could he tell him what they did to him. He couldn't. Dean couldn't know. He would really blame Sam. How could he let them do that to him? He couldn't tell Dean.

Dean looked over at Sam. He couldn't help but shake his head. Sam's already been through so much and now he had to deal with this shit as well. How could I hurt him like this? All he wanted was to spend time with me and I pushed him away. What kind of brother am I? He couldn't even come to me to get a freaking ride! None of this wouldn't have happened if Dean did what he was suppose to do; protect Sammy. No, he just had to want a life. He had to spend time with those assholes more than his brother. What kind of brother was he? He's not awesome. He put Sammy on the back burner and now he had been attacked because of it. How will he ever forgive him? Dean fought back the tears that stung his eyes.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw a sign for a motel so he decided that they had driven for long enough. It was time to get a room and do what needed to be done: talk.

Dean pulled into the parking lot of the motel, got out, checked out a room and drove to the door of the motel room.

"Get your things," Dean said with sadness in his heart.

Sam became worried. Dean sounded upset. He was mad at him. He didn't know what was going to happen now. Sam slowly got out of the car; Dean was already at the door. He turned and saw Sam walking slowly towards him and the guilt was just eating Dean up. He doesn't trust me anymore. He doesn't even want to be near me. Dean opened the door and walked in.

Sam watched Dean walk into the room. He's mad at me. He doesn't even want to be seen with me. How could I do this to him? He's done nothing but sacrifice everything for me. Now he's ashamed of me. Tears prick the back of Sam's eyes. He walked in the motel room and saw that Dean was sitting on the end of the bed.

"D'n," Sam said, his voice choked with emotion.

"Please, Sammy," Dean said holding up his hand. "Please… not now."

Sam lowered his head. "I'm sorry, D'n." Sam turned a started to walk out of the motel room. Dean's brow creased in confusion.

"SAM!" Sam froze where he stood. He never heard Dean yell at him like that. Oh he's in for it now.

"Look at me," Dean said, his voice a little calmer. Sam turned to face his brother. "What are you apologizing for?"

"It was my fault. I shouldn't have let them take me," Sam sounded so dejected. "I know I disappointed you..."

"Wait a minute," Dean said standing up facing Sam. "When have you ever heard me say that I am disappointed in you? Never, Sammy. I couldn't be."

Dean walked over to Sam. Sam backed up. Dean stopped and put his hands up.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Sammy."

"Dean, can we just drop it," Sam said, his heart beating frantically in his chest, uncomfortable.

"No, we can't." Dean continued walking up to Sam. "I thought it could wait, but obviously it can't. We need to talk about this. I know what happened."

Sam backed up. "What?!" Sam shook his head. "No. You can't...know...you...not...suppose..." Sam began hyperventilating. Dean rushed over to Sam and placed a comforting hand on his chest.

"Sam, I need you to breathe. Calm down for me."

Sam's eyes are shut tight. He's breathing too hard and too fast. Dean grabs Sam's hand and places it on his chest so he could feel his big brother's heartbeat.

"Come on, Sammy," Dean coaxed. "Calm down. It's okay. I promise. I just need you to breathe. In. Out. In. Out."

Dean inhales slowly and exhales just the same, letting his chest rise and fall so that Sam can feel it underneath his hand. Dean can feel Sam's hand tighten, trying to grip his shirt. He knows Sam is trying to calm down.

"That's it, Sammy," Dean praises. "Deep breaths… Calm down."

"D'n," Sam says hoarsely, like he's just run a marathon.

"Don't talk," Dean said. "Just focus on breathing right now. Talk later."

Sam finally opens his eyes and looks up at Dean. Dean sees the fear in his eyes. Sam can see the guilt and disappointment in Dean's. Sam puts his head down and looks at the floor. Slowly Sam's breathing got back under control. He backs away from Dean and walks over to the bed and sits down.

"Sammy," Dean said sitting next to Sam on the bed. "I asked you before, did anything else happen before I showed up. You didn't answer me and I… I need to know. Now. Did they do anything else to you?"

"Dean," Sam said, his eyes large and wet, pleading with his brother to drop the subject.

"Sammy," Dean looked over at Sam. "Tell me what happened."

"I told you. They jumped me. I tried to run. They caught up with me. They held my arms back while one of them hit me."

"What else?" Dean closed his eyes.

"Nothing else."

Dean opened his eyes and looked at Sam and shook his head. "No. No we are not starting that."

"What?" Sam asked, trying to sound like he didn't know what his brother was talking about.

"You're not going to start lying to me," Dean said. "I saw your clothes. Now tell me what happened!"

Sam put his head down. "It was my fault."

"What was your fault?"

Sam stood up and was about to walk away, but Dean grabbed his wrist and kept him in place. Dean turned his wrist so that Sam was facing him. Sam lowered his head so that his bangs fell in front of his eyes.

"Sammy, look at me."

Sam raised his head and looked into Dean's eyes.

"Tell me, what did they do to you to make you think it was your fault?" Dean just couldn't bring himself to say that word yet. "If anything, this is my fault and I'm sorry." Sam, shocked by what Dean just said, stood there dumbfounded. "I should just stayed with you."

"Did you kill them?" Sam asked

"Sammy," Dean said. "I told you. You don't get to ask that question."

"Dean, I think I have a right to know."

Dean let go of Sam's wrist and put his head down. After a few seconds he looked back up at Sam. "Yeah. I killed them."

Sam didn't see any guilt or remorse in his brother's eyes. It almost frightened Sam. He's brother just killed three people and don't even care.

"Dean..."Sam started, horror rising up in him at his brother's actions. Sure they had been bad people but they had still been people, not monsters like the ones their Dad hunted.

"Sam," Dean's voice was monotone, but not angry. "I did what I had to do. They had you hanging from a freaking hook. The only good thing was that bastard, Carlos, put that pipe in my hands first."

Sam looked at his brother; he started to see that same look in his eyes that he saw when he was tied up on that hook.

"Dean," Sam had a little fear in his voice.

Dean, still not looking at Sam, recalled the sight of his baby brother hanging from that hook. All the feelings during those few agonizing moments came flooding back into Dean like a tidal wave. Dean was sitting on the bed, literally shaking. "He gave me that pipe, you don't know how glad I was when he gave me that weapon. All I could see was them hitting you. I looked up at you and saw the fear in your eyes, and I don't know… I guess I snapped. I saw your black eye, your busted lip, and then he wanted play "piñata." Dean huffed a laugh but there was no humor in it. "I swung that pipe as hard as I could at the son of a bitch's head. When I heard that crunching sound," Dean smiled. "I knew they couldn't touch you. Hell, they couldn't touch me. I hit Jonathan next. He fell with a thud, his jaw broken instantly. Peter tried to rush me and I cracked that pipe across his temple. I lost myself. Even though I could see them down on the floor, I still wasn't satisfied. Each time I looked at them, all I saw them hitting you, killing you and thinking nothing of it. So… I guess I gave them a taste of their own medicine. But then what brought me back was your voice."

Sam was standing in front of Dean, tears streaming down his face.

"You called my name. I hit Carlos one last time then stood up. I got you down. I'm sorry I scared you when I covered your eyes, but I didn't want you to see the mess. Then when we get back to the motel and I find out they did more to you. That they..." Dean looked up at Sam. "I so wanted to go back and continue the job."

"Dean," Sam said. "How...how'd you find out? I didn't want to tell you."

"There was blood in your boxers. And when you didn't answer me when I asked you, I just knew. I am so sorry Sammy."

Sam collapsed into Dean's arms.

"I'm sorry, Dean." Sam said. "I didn't mean to be a burden."

"No, Sammy. You are not a burden." Dean said rubbing soothing circles on Sam's back. "Nobody messes with you. You may be a pain in the ass, but nobody hurts you and lives to tell about it."

Sam sunk deeper into Dean's arms. Dean could feel Sam's feet collapse from under him. The only reason Sam was upright was because Dean was still holding him. Dean could feel him shaking in his arms. He was shaking hard. Dean just held him tighter.

"They hurt me bad, D'n." Sam cried.

"I know they did." Dean said with tears pricking the back of his eyes. "But you don't have to worry about them anymore. Big brother took care of them." Sam nodded against Dean's neck. "Big brother will always take care of them."

Dean held Sam for the longest time. For a while neither brother said anything. Then Dean broke the silence.

"Sammy," Dean whispered. "I know you don't want to think about it, but I have to ask." Sam was already shaking his head in his brother's neck. "Sammy?"

"No, D'n," Sam cried in Dean's neck.

Dean tried to pick Sam up so he was standing again, but the more Dean pulled at his arms the tighter Sam's grip got around Dean's neck.

"Sammy," Dean said. "I have to know. Oh God, I don't want to ask this, but did they use protection?"

Dean didn't think the grip around his neck could get any tighter. Sam was shaking something fierce. Sam was trying to push himself more into Dean's arms he almost made Dean fall back on the bed.

"It's okay, Sammy," Dean said trying to get his balance back. "It's over, I promise. But I have to know."

Sam shook his head in Dean's neck again. Dean closed his eyes and just held his baby brother some more. "It's okay, Sammy. I'm gonna take care of you," Dean cried.

The next day Dean and Sam were in the car. Dean drove to a semi secluded building. There were a few cars in the parking lot when Dean parked the Impala by the building. Sam looked out of the window.

"Do we have to do this," Sam asked.

Dean nodded. "It'll be alright, Sammy. I'll be right there beside you. Okay."

Sam looked over at Dean and then opened up the passenger door. Dean got out and they walked into the clinic building.

The End

A/N: I hope you liked it! Please leave a review and let me know what you think! :) I am really nervous about this chapter.

Much love to you all

Mandancie! :)