~Obi-Wan
The view from here is amazing.
I say that because I'm standing at the balcony of our (our meaning mine and Anakin's) room, staring out into the dark night. But as dark as it is the view is great. And the millions of stars I the sky make it all the more breathtaking.
Now why am I standing out here at a time like this? Sleep seems to be avoiding me tonight. After a while of tossing and turning in bed I gave up and decided to stand out here for a while.
It may be the lack of communication I'm having with Xanatos. Or the fact that I can't exactly sense his force presence from all the way over here.
Sure I'm not 18 anymore. And I'm not as weak and dependant on him as I once was but still…….
Some things can never be forgotten. And I still feel insecure without him around. I mean I don't panic if we're not in the same room anymore but once I loose his force presence it makes me uncomfortable as hell.
And he knows that. It's why most of our missions are together. But I don't understand why the council would put me on this mission alone with Anakin of all the people.
I mean I'm not much of an expert in handling overly stubborn teenagers so…..
"It's beautiful isn't it?"
At first the voice startles me, but upon spinning around I see it's none other than Padme.
I let my shoulders fall "Force Padme you just scared the shit out of me….." I say, exasperated.
She giggles.
"Why are you up so late?" I ask, putting my hands on the rail and leaning on it. I look out into the night sky.
"Couldn't sleep" is her simple reply. She comes over and leans on the rail as well.
"I see…." I mutter. We stay in silence for a while before she says "I know why you're up so late…"
"Oh really?" I raise a brow. I doubt she knows why I'm up but to my surprise she says "Because you miss Xanatos, right?"
I just nod and look the other way.
"It's alright. I know how you feel" She says.
Yeah I doubt she knows how I feel. But then she proves me wrong again:
"I had a brother you know. He was 4 years older than me…..We where really close…." Pause "He was the great and respected Prince of Naboo…..but then he and my father had an argument. It was serious. So serious that my father disowned him. My mother died when I was very young, and those two where my only family. I loved both of them very much and I didn't know who to side with."
My jaw hangs slightly open. I am curious about this argument that was so serious that her brother was disowned. But I don't bother press the matter.
I look at her and notice she is looking away from me. Perhaps to hide tears, but that is another matter I do not wish to press.
"He went away the very next day. No one knows where he went or how he got there, for he left without letting anyone know" Now I'm sure she's crying for her voice is shaky "I haven't seen him since…..and I miss him so dearly that it hurts. And….guess the stress of him leaving was too much for my father because a few weeks later he died. It hurts to remember them and it hurts to even think about them. That's probably how you feel about Xanatos right now right?"
My jaw still hangs open. I never knew someone like Padme could have such a family history. One that's so depressing and……dark.
"Yeah….." I mumble. I actually feel bad for her.
"And then you came along. And I hated you so much because I promised I would never get along with anyone the way I did with my brother because I didn't want to get hurt again. But then somehow I became close to you and Xanatos….and I hated it because it made me break my promise…" she rants, her voice is so shaky it almost makes me nervous. And for a moment I wonder why she's opening up to me like this, but then it hits me.
Padme has grown up far more than me and Xanatos give her credit for.
She doesn't have a stupid crush on me or Xanatos anymore. She did have a crush on us before and I guess just recently she's realized it wasn't just some crush.
She enjoys being in our company because we remind her of her family. Her father and her brother.
"Is that why you freaked out when you found me and Xanatos half dead that day on Naboo?" I say looking away. She turns sharply to look at me "How do you know that?"
I take a deep breath as the painful memories of that day come rushing back to me. I quickly release them into the force before they get me emotional, and answer her question.
"I was conscious. Too weak to do anything about it, but faintly conscious" I say closing my eyes. Oh the pain that devoured me that day when I fell conscious.
"Yes. That's precisely why I almost went crazy when I found you two. Because for the first time since my father died, I felt like I was with my family again. Xanatos was…..and still is like my dad…." Oh geez her voice is shaky like mad again "And you where and still are…..like my kind playful stupid…..brother" her voice cracks as she says the last word. And as I turn to face her for the first time, I see her tear soaked face and suddenly she looks young and vulnerable again like she did 10 years ago.
And she quickly puts her arms around my torso and buries her face into my chest.
"And I know you won't leave me like my real family did" she mutters through her tears. Those words are proof to the fact that she thinks of me as nothing more than her older brother. Which is a good thing considering I don't (more like I can't) look at her any way other than my younger sister.
Padme and I suddenly jerk away from one another as a blood curling scream comes from inside. I look inside for a moment before darting into the room.
Upon walking in I see Anakin sitting up in bed, sweat dripping off his face, tears leaking out of his eyes.
I quickly rush over to him and sit on the bed beside him.
Shit he's like hyperventilating.
"Anakin calm down" I say putting my hands on his shoulders "did you have a nightmare?"
He swallows then nods, still not looking at me.
"Would you like to talk about it?" I ask, still gripping his shoulder.
He nods.
"Ok what was it about?" I ask. Damn, he looks like he just saw a ghost.
"Qui-Gon…" he whispers.
"Qui-Gon?" I raise a brow "What about Qui-Gon?"
"His……his d-death" Anakin barely whispers.
The two words take me by utter surprise. Why the hell would he dream of……dare I say it….Qui-Gon's death?
I understand now why he's so freaked out…..
"Relax Anakin, it was jus a nightmare. Qui-Gon's just fine" I say in an attempt to calm him down. And in an attempt to keep myself calmed down.
"He's dead" Anakin's voice shakes, as more tears flood out of his eyes "I saw it."
"He's not dead Anakin, it was just a nightmare" I say with a bit more force. Qui-Gon can't be dead. That's just a far too unnatural thought.
And before he can freak out anymore I add "You wanna talk to him?"
He swallows again and nods.
"Ok hang on, let me call him up. He's just fine Anakin, believe me" I say putting my hand out towards the nearby dresser. My comm. Link immediately flies into it. That moment I steal a glance at the door to the balcony and see Padme leaning against it. I ignore her for the time being. For now all that is important is to keep Anakin calm.
I lower my hand and dial Qui-Gon's number, praying with my heart, my soul, the force, and everything worth living for that he picks up.
And as a small click receiving the transmission comes to my ears, and that deep strong voice sounds, my heart lightens up. And all the stress that had built up in me disappears.
"Obi-Wan?"
"Qui-Gon, thank the force you picked up…..Anakin just wanted a word with you" I say with a sigh of relief.
"Anakin? Why is he alright? Is he hurt?"
"No he's ok, he just…he just wanted to talk to you is all."
"Oh….alright then"
"Here" I say both to Anakin and Qui-Gon as I hand Anakin my comm.
He nervously takes it and puts it to his mouth:
"Master?"
"Yes my padawan?"
"Nothing……I just…..I just miss you is all"
"Are you sure Anakin? That's it?"
"Yes master…"
"There's nothing else you wish to discuss?"
"Yes master"
"If there's anything you need to talk about padawan, please let me know"
"Yes master"
Heh….Qui-Gon obviously knows something is wrong. The heart and mind of a master is like none other.
They always seem to know when something is wrong, even if you are shielding (which I know Anakin is definitely doing right now.)
I've learned that full well while growing up with Xanatos (oh how sore I feel inside just at the thought of that…) except when I hid something from him he would just go out and tell me straightforward to explain what's wrong. He didn't give me the option of telling him or not unless it was something absolutely serious.
And then my heart skips several beats as I hear a voice in the background:
"Master, I've found the exact location of Kamino"
Xanatos.
I feel achy all over again.
"Anakin I have to go, are you sure there is nothing you wish to talk about?"
I see Anakin's features twist with pain, confusion and inner turmoil. But he says "No master."
"Alright then padawan, I'll see you soon."
"Jinn out-" But before he could hang up the transmission I snatch the comm. link from Anakin's hand and almost shout into it "Qui-Gon wait!"
"Yes?"
"Can-can I talk to Xanatos?"
"Sure" I can just imagine his serious face light up with a smile right about now.
I stand up and walk out of the room. If I'm going to talk to Xanatos then it's definitely going to be in private.
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~Xanatos
Tired.
So tired.
I am just so tired right now. So tired that I almost physically walk into a wall.
Yeah. I'm that out of it.
Why am I so sithly tired you ask?
I've been attempting to find information on Kamino for hours. And not just 3 or 4 hours. I'm talking 7, 8 hours here.
Can you believe I found absolutely nothing? After rummaging through all the resources in the temple (and might I remind you that's a pretty damn large amount of resources) the only thing I found was hwere it's supposed to be. But it's not there!!
And it wasn't until a few minutes ago, did I finally give up. I'm actually just aimlessly wandering the temple. Wondering what to do now.
I can't just return to Qui-Gon and tell him I found nothing. He'll be completely let down.
That's something I've done far too many times in my lifetime to repeat it even once more. So I continue to aimlessly wander.
That is until and idea comes to me. What have I done all my life when I couldn't find the answer to something?
A grin finds its way onto my face as the answer pops into my head:
Ask Master Yoda.
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"Younglings, enough," Master Yoda says as I walk into the spacious chamber. The groups of initiates in front of him deactivate their lightsabers and removed their training helmets. "A visitor, we have. Welcome him."
I look around the chamber at the familiar group of initiates, their faces full of confusion (or maybe curiosity) at who their visitor might be…….that is until they turn to look and see that it's none other than me.
I say none other than me because these children are more than familiar to me, for I spend almost every free second I have is spent in the crèche with them. (it's why Shmi and I have become much closer in the past few years.)
"Welcome Master Xanatos!" the younglings shout in unison. A couple of them giggle at greeting me so formally. Because most of them know me as just Xanatos.
I smile.
Just looking at these children makes my heart lighten, and the tiredness lifts away from my soul.
They're so innocent, so young, and so care-free.
Force, I remember my days as a youngling. Slacking off, hanging out, my only worry is being caught for one of my practical jokes and stupid pranks……it seems like so long ago and-…force.......I feel so old…….
"Hey guys" I say with a small saddened wave. Ok I have to calm myself. This is no time to have a mid-life crisis (and besides Obi-Wan would kill me if I had a mid-life crisis without him being here to laugh to death over it.)
"What help to you can I be Xanatos?" Yoda says turning his attention to me.
"I am looking for a planet that Qui-Gon has described to me. As the home planet of that poison dart. But I can't seem to find it on the Archive maps…..or anywhere for that matter" I sigh.
A mischievous look comes over Master Yoda's face and then he says, turning to face the younglings "Lost a planet Xanatos has. How embarrassing."
They immediately break out giggling and laughing.
"Oh haha very funny Master. You picked a horrible time to joke about this" I groan, suddenly remembering how exhausted I am.
"Think a good time it is the younglings do" he retorts. The kids go on and nod.
"Oh sure, take his side why don't you" I smirk "Just don't expect anything next time I come to visit, alright?" I say pointing an accusing finger at the whole lot of them.
A horrified expression comes over the faces of some and they let out a cry of "Sorry Xanatos!"
"So side with him you will instead of your grand-master?" Yoda says shaking his head.
"No master! Sorry!" The younglings call to Yoda.
"You know what I think I'll just stick with never visiting ever again!" I shout, turning my back against the group.
"No!" they all scream. I grin but it's not like any of them can see it.
"Continue this argument later, we will" Master Yoda says smirking at me "For now, help you find your lost planet we will"
Just when I open my mouth to retort about how I have not lost a planet he adds "Gather around the map reader children. Liam, the shades, and the lights."
All the children gather around the map reader, and Liam runs off to lower the shades and hit the lights. Once he does the room is almost completely darkened.
I take the small glass portable map out of my pocket and place it carefully (hey, it is a little glass ball after all) on map reader.
A hologram of the stars springs out of the reader. The kids ooh and ahh over the at the sight of it.
I don't blame them. To this day, 40 years after becoming a padawan these holograms still amuse me (force it's been long…….and damn I'm old…..)
Master Yoda's chuckle at the reaction of the younglings brings me back to reality and I make my way over to where Kamino should be.
As I do he says "Amazing these holograms are. Found them amusing too when a youngling I was."
When he was a youngling? Force…ok I'm never gonna complain about my age again.
The children seem to think the same thing as I do because they let out little giggles too.
"Here" I say looking back at Master Yoda after finding the spot Kamino should be "It should be here. I mean gravity is still pulling all the stars towards this spot and there should be star here but there isn't!" I rant, the tiredness coming back to me….again.
"Most interesting" he says rubbing his chin "Gravity remains but gone missing the star has….how can this be?" he looks around the room with a curious expression on his face "An answer do any of you have? Anyone?" he says looking around the room.
Silence.
And for a long while no one speaks….and then suddenly a boy I'm not exactly familiar with raises his hand. Which surprises me to a degree. I didn't expect these young children to be able to answer such a complicated question. But then again a child is not to be under estimated, for sometimes they have the ability to look at what we cannot.
I've learned that full well while raising Obi-Wan (something in me feels sore at that thought…)
Yoda nods at the boy to state his answer. He takes a step forward and says "Master, because someone erased it from the Archive memory."
I gawk at the boy. Like my jaw literally hangs open.
Wow. That makes so much sense.
All the other children begin to agree with him.
The answer that someone erased it is so obvious. So clear and right there. And yet I failed to pick it up. Maybe it's that I didn't exactly believe someone could breach the Archives and seriously erase a planet.
But wow. The fact that that boy gave me such an answer probably shocks me more than the fact that someone was messing with the Archives.
"Truly wonderful the mind of a child is" Master Yoda says snapping me out of my shock "The child is right. Go to the center of gravity's pull and find your planet you will" He leads me out of the chamber where we begin to slowly walk ahead.
I suddenly realize he's grinning like mad. Maybe it's because he's impressed with his students. That or he's amused by the fact my jaw is hanging practically to the floor.
"But master who could have erased Kamino off the Archives?" I say going back to the less jaw dropping subject of my…..*sigh*……lost planet. There I said it…..or more thought it….but I hope Yoda's happy now. The thought makes me smirk.
"Dangerous and disturbing this mystery is. Go to Kamino you will and find out about that dart you will."
Suddenly out of random I blurt out "What if it's a trap master?"
He gives me a very confused look "Meditate on that option I will. For now rest you should."
And with that I walk off.
Just as I head for Qui-Gon's quarters I run into none other than Qui-Gon himself.
"Master, I've found the exact location of Kamino" I say, not noticing he was talking on his comm.
As soon as I realize though I take a step back but he smiles at me and he puts his free hand on my shoulder.
"Anakin I have to go, are you sure there is nothing you wish to talk about?" he says into the comm. his face becoming serious again.
"Alright then padawan, I'll see you soon. Jinn out-" He stops as though who ever is on the other end (presumably Anakin....) cut him off.
"Yes?" Pause.
"Sure" He says, a smile suddenly spreading on his face again.
He then hands me his comm. and when I give him a questioning look he says what makes my heart skip several beats:
"Obi-Wan wants to talk"
Listen up guys. I have some serious stuff to tell u.
1)aw man.....someone left me a very mean review on the last chapter(*sigh* it's still there if u want to see it T-T) and u guys already know how unsure i already am of my work. and then that comment just came along and crushed me T-T so like yeah.....i hope my work really isnt as crappy as that person says...if it is then can u like subtly tell me instead of flaming? *sigh* i apreciate and love u guys that are following this so much T-T
2)i dreamt up an awesome story last night and i just typed and posted it. It's called To Undestand and i'd apreciate it so much if you guys took the time to read it and tell me how it is. that way i'll know if it's worth continueing or not. And i'll even give u a sneak peak on what it's about:
It begins on Mustafar when Obi and Ani duke it out and in the end, instead of Anakin falling down the hill into the lava, Obi-Wan does. Except he doesn't exactly fall in, he just barely manages to catch himself. After a little while of screaming at each other Anakin says "You never understood me" to which Obi-Wan replies "How could I ever understand you if you never understood me?" After he says that Anakin has a strange feeling and passes out.
When he wakes up and finds himself in the body of 14 year old Obi-Wan Kenobi. And learns everything that Obi-Wan went through. And most important of all, after almost 15 years he finally learns to understand Obi-Wan Kenobi.
I think it's a pretty cool idea because in all the time travel stories i've read obi-wan goes back in time into anakin's body and learns what he went through. but hey does anyone ever think about the fact that anakin doesnt know all the shit obi-wan went through either? So yeah i'd really love u if u read and hopefully followed that ^-^
3)I hope the Padme Obi mush isn't bothering you guys, cause if it is then i'll kill it off. ^-^ Review and the force shall be with thy.......wow i just went Medieval Jedi.....XD review!