FATE
A Ranma1/2 fanfic by PansutoTarou5925
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Disclaimer to follow at end of chapter
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Akane Tendo had been a very deep sleeper in her younger years. So, for that matter, was Nabiki Tendo. Only Kasumi, the oldest, had slept lightly and with difficulty. It was a trait her son had inherited.
Atasuke Ono was awake in his bed at midnight. Chiyeko had gone with Ranma to the mall, and returned after apparently spending several hours doing nothing but buying clothes. The look on Ranma's face when she returned with her daughter made Atasuke congratulate himself on his decision to make a tactical retreat to his friend's house. Still, he'd have liked to know what she got. "A uniform, of course," he murmured to himself in the dark room. "But certainly not just a uniform," he continued. "Perhaps she bought... panties?" He smiled.
If she bought some new underwear, surely she wouldn't notice if a few of the older ones vanished! He could probably poach a few from Ranma as well. He hadn't been able to practice the techniques for absorbing female ki that were described in Happousai's scrolls, but he felt that it was a result of the women in question having too little ki for someone of his admittedly low abilities in ki manipulation to work with. His two houseguests, however, were more than strong enough, he judged.
"They would understand, after all," he told himself. "It's for training! The advancement of the art!" Then he slumped. "Who am I kidding... I'd just better not get caught."
Silently rising from his bed and tying a bandanna around his head in the ancient and hallowed outfit of the panty thief, Atasuke Ono slipped out the door into the waiting hall towards the guest room.
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You would think that someone chased by crazed Chinese martial artists, as Ranma supposedly was, would sleep a little more lightly, Atasuke supposed. The woman hiding under the blankets on her futon, though, with only her red pigtail sticking out from between the blanket and her head under her pillow, hadn't moved a muscle since he entered the room. Chiyeko, on the other hand, was sprawled out across her futon and had kicked off the covers, and was snoring in a very unfeminine fashion. Atasuke silently crept over and smiled as he looked at the sleeping girl for a few minutes, then remembered what he was there to do and slipped over to the dressers. Best not to press his luck, after all.
He opened up the dresser and found Ranma's things first. At least that was what he supposed; while Chiyeko had some very large... talent, her mother was even more developed. Also, all the bras were as plain as could be, if they weren't simply sports bras. That fit more with the warriorlike Ranma than Chiyeko, anyways. Even with his limited ki abilities, he could feel the power off of them. He smiled. Finally, he'd manage to learn another great technique of Anything-Goes! Giddily, he selected one of the plain bras before picking through the panties.
"What the- men's boxers?" he said quietly aloud. Nervously, he looked around and saw that neither of the two seemed to have awakened at the noise, so he went back to inspecting it. The boxers seem to be brand new and never worn. He shrugged. Weird. Putting them back, he took one of the panties as well, and then searched for Chiyeko's underwear.
Chiyeko definitely had better taste in underwear by Atasuke' standards. Rifling through the selection of dainties, he swiped a few that he figured wouldn't be missed, along with a red lacy one that would definitely be missed but he couldn't have possibly not stolen. Stuffing his ill gotten gains in his gi, he snuck back towards the door before suddenly having a slight attack of conscience and slipping back towards Chiyeko.
Kneeling lightly next to the sleeping girl, he clapped his hands silently. "Forgive me, Chiyeko," he whispered. then turned towards the door and silently stepped back into the hall and crept towards the dojo.
He never noticed the shadow that emerged from the closet and followed him there.
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Ranma grumbled to herself. It was bad enough having her sleep interrupted by someone sneaking into her room, but having it be a freaking panty thief was something she thought had died along with Happousai. The fact that the thief was Kasumi's son boggled the mind, but he had rifled through their underwear, so panty theft was clearly exactly what he planned.
She considered exactly what she should do. Her first instinct had been to slip out of Umisenken and poke him in the shoulder, and have a father-daughter 'beat the pervert' bonding session. But his ki flows had been very interesting, and she decided then to watch what he did. Her second thought was to tell Kasumi what her son was up to late at night. However, she had a suspicion that was confirmed when she saw him sneak into the dojo that simple teenage hormones weren't all that was leading him to steal Ranma and her daughter's underwear. There was something familiar about the patterns of ki around him while he was handling the underwear.
Something distinctly Happousai-like.
She realized what had happened, and what she'd need to do.
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Atasuke Ono was deep in meditation. Specifically, he was concentrating on Chiyeko and the feelings she aroused in him as he held the booty from his panty raid. According to the master, the female ki in the undergarments should strengthen and compliment the lust ki he felt, and would strengthen him. In the case of Happousai, Atasuke had learned, this sort of ki priming had become necessary to stave off his incredible age.
As far as he could tell, Chiyeko's ki was very heavy and more powerful than he had expected, dark, rich, and syrupy. "This could be more difficult than I thought," he mumbled, trying to pull the decidedly odd ki from the silky bra he was holding. Finally giving up, he opened his eyes and stared at the bra.
Suddenly, his face became one with the floor.
"Nah, that one doesn't suit you at all," Ranma said from her perch on top of Atasuke's head. "Now, would you mind explaining what you're doing with my underwear? And Chiyeko's, as well?" She hopped off his head and crouched down nearby.
Atasuke looked at the one-eyed woman with terror, sweat pouring down his face. "It's not what it looks like! It's part of my training!"
Ranma grabbed him by the front of his gi, and with a single bound, slammed him into the dojo wall. "I know it's part of your 'training'! Now why on earth are you trying to learn Happousai's techniques? And you'd better have a damn good reason or I knock you into next week - and then I tell your mother what you've been doing!"
Slumping over, his feet dangling off the ground as Ranma held him up against the wall, he found himself unable to look her in the eye. "It's my art," Atasuke said, ashamed. "Akane taught me Anything Goes, and I've learned a lot from her-"
"But you wanted to learn the advanced forms of the Art," Ranma finished the thought. The whole Battle Dogi debacle had demonstrated the limits Akane would one day hit in her development. If Kasumi's son had run up against them..."Atasuke, Atasuke... this really wasn't the way to do that. Happousai was a monster." Ranma dropped him on the floor.
"Your father wouldn't teach me," Atasuke grumbled.
"Figures," Ranma said, laughing. "The old panda really likes his peace and quiet."
"Yeah," Atasuke said. Then, hesitantly, "Er - if you don't mind my asking - why does he turn into a panda?"
"I'll answer that, if you tell me just where and how you learned Happousai's style." Atasuke grunted and pulled several scrolls out of his gi. Ranma nodded and opened them up. The scrolls were every bit as incomprehensible as she remembered. "Kami-sama. Happousai's handwriting is as bad as I remember. How on earth did you read these things?"
"My father is a doctor," Atasuke said, rolling his eyes.
"Oh," Ranma said, then took the scrolls and incinerated them with a single, violent burst of ki.
"WHAT!" Atasuke said, jumping to his feet. "You just destroyed decades of priceless insight into the art!"
Ranma shook her head. "Trust me. The world is a far better place without the terrible perversions Happousai created." She patted Atasuke on the head. "Now, if you want to learn the advanced forms of Anything-Goes, I'll be more than willing to teach you, seeing as I'm the current Grandmaster and all. I'm sure Chiyeko will be more than happy to help-" Ranma paused and pulled out Chiyeko's bra, "Especially after I tell her about your little adventure in her underwear drawer." She then put it back in her shirt, concealing it with the same hidden weapons she was using to hold the other underwear after stealing it back.
Atasuke blanched as Ranma walked from the dojo, whistling cheerfully.
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It was after a particularly violent and now three-way morning sparring battle that Chiyeko felt confident of starting her plan. "So," Chiyeko said, adjusting the unconscious pervert currently draped over her shoulder. That revelation was dampening her appeal for her current plan, but for her mother's happiness, she was willing to give him a second chance. "Well, mother, despite the whole panty-raid thing, I'm kinda willing to give this engagement thing a try. But, I kinda feel like..." Chiyeko took the opportunity to feign nervousness and twiddle her fingers while she thought of how to put it. "I feel like I should know him better. We should go on a date - his treat, of course, after what he did last night..." She trailed off, thinking.
"The guys normally pay anyways, silly girl," Ranma said, whacking her daughter in the back of the head with her free hand good-naturedly. Ranma smiled; Chiyeko was kind and forgiving.
Chiyeko looked at her mother with a worried expression. "I don't trust him now, though. What if he did something perverted?" Chiyeko said, now ready to spring her master plan. She turned away to smile evilly, her pale blue eyes going steel hard for a second.
"Just beat the crap out of him," Ranma said as she sat down at the table. Tofu, for his part, hid behind a newspaper and ostentatiously ignored the conversation in front of him.
To think, that his son had been attempting to go down the same path as the late, unlamented Happousai!
"Pftt, Obaba," Chiyeko said irritably. "I don't want him to even try anything perverted," she said, dumping Atasuke in his usual spot before sitting down. "I figured we should make it a double date - you and Ukyo can come along with us. With two adults as chaperones, he won't try anything!"
"Well..." Ranma said. It would sort of defeat the purpose of dating to get to know him better with Chiyeko's mother hanging over him like the sword of Damocles.
"Please, mother?" Chiyeko said, applying puppy dog eyes.
"Oh, fine," Ranma said, her resolve crumbled.
Chiyeko simply nodded and accepted the bowl of bland, tasteless miso soup (which she hated) with a cheerful, happy smile. Inside, however, she was secretly exulting, and plotting on how to give her mother the best of all possible dates.
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It was after school, and Chiyeko needed to get her accomplices to help her. The first was close at hand.
"Argh!" Atasuke said, as Chiyeko jumped out of a top floor window to land directly in front of him as he was leaving the school. There were still bruises from this morning's sparring session evident on his face He glanced around. "Haven't you put me through enough? I told you I'm sorry!".
"No," Chiyeko said curtly, then dragged him away from the other students by his arm. Once she had achieved relative privacy, she pinned him against the wall and smirked. "You're going to take me on a date. Your treat," Chiyeko said, in a tone that invited no disagreement.
Atasuke smiled. That wasn't too bad. "Ok, I suppose I owe you that."
"You're also going to treat my mother and her date."
"What?"
"You owe her, too," Chiyeko said, then released him from the armbar she had him in.
Atasuke scratched his head. "Well, I guess..."
"No 'I guess'. You're lucky Ranma didn't beat you up herself. My mother's a hell of a lot better than I am at doing that," Chiyeko said, before turning away. "Make arrangements for us to go to dinner and a movie. Nice restaurant, and pick a movie my mother would enjoy. Tell me where we're going when I get home," she said as she walked off.
"Damn," Atasuke said, realizing that his wallet was going to take a serious hit. He frowned. "A movie her mother would like on a date? She'd know better than I would."
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Chiyeko looked up at the sign in front of her. Sure enough, she had found the Ucchan's Okonomiyaki. Inwardly she felt relieved. While she was no Hibiki, she wasn't sure she'd be able to find the place after only having visited it once before. She pushed aside the curtain in the entranceway and looked around inside.
The Ucchan's was an older restaurant, she decided, in a retro-nineties kind of way. Then she realized that the inside wasn't retro kitsch. It was still decorated the way it was since it was opened, save for repairs and such. "Hey there!" the owner yelled out, noticing that she had entered the store.
Quickly Chiyeko sat down on one of the barstools. "Hey there yourself," she answered, looking over the menu on the wall. "I'll have a beef okonomiyaki, extra spicy," she ordered.
"Sure thing, honey," Ukyo said, cooking okonomiyaki with a skill and ease that bespoke years and years of practice.
"Wow, you're good," Chiyeko said, not needing to pretend to be impressed. "I can see why some people think you cook the best okonomiyaki in Japan."
Ukyo smirked as she flipped over the cooking food. "Well, Ranma-honey's always liked my cooking," she said, still smirking. "That's been true since we were kids."
"You knew my mother?" Chiyeko said, pretending to be surprised.
Uyko momentarily froze up for a second at the word 'mother', but recovered admirably. Quickly applying a last bit of sauce, in the shape of a smiley face, she slid the cooked food over to Chiyeko. "A Ranchan special," Ukyo explained. "I've known your, er, mother since she was six." She pointed a thumb over her shoulder in the direction of the ninja cleaning one of the small booths along the side of the restaurant. "Konatsu's known your mother for years, too. And I've known you for years, too, believe it or not, even though you were just a shy little kid who kept hiding behind Ranma last time you were here."
Chiyeko thought back, but couldn't remember this place. "Wow," she said, chuckling sheepishly. "I wish I could remember that."
Ukyo smirked again knowingly. "Bad memories run in your family."
"Anyways," Chiyeko said, after finishing off her food, "I wanted to know if you'd go out on a date with my mother." In the corner, Konatsu froze. "It's a double date," Chiyeko said quickly. "You two will be around as chaperones for Atasuke and I."
Ukyo smiled, her eyes flickering quickly towards the back of the store. "Sure thing," she said happily.
"Great!" Chiyeko said, standing up. "Give me your telephone number. I'll call you with the details. Oh," she added, "you don't have to pay. My boyfriend will take care of that."
"why, Isn't that nice of him," Ukyo said.
"Yes, he's very nice, isn't he?" Chiyeko said, her expression unreadable. Then she left the store with a final wave.
"What a weird girl," Ukyou said. "I can't believe Ranma hasn't told her about her real mother yet, can you, Konatsu?"
"No," the transvestite ninja said, having sat down at the bar as soon as the young Saotome left. "Ranma should tell her about Hild and the curse, Lady Ukyo."
Ukyo's eyes narrowed as she looked at Konatsu. Ranma was lost to her, that was true, but in the intervening years she'd developed a love almost as deep for Konatsu. The only problem had been his intense subservient nature. He hadn't made a move in years, and even her incredible patience was wearing thin.
Maybe her dating Ranma would awaken some sort of jealousy within Konatsu. It was worth a shot, at any rate. Even if it didn't, she wouldn't mind spending time with her best friend. "She doesn't realize I'm a girl," Ukyo said, laughing as the realization hit her. She looked down at her androgynous outfit and shook her head bemusedly.
"Can I have a few hours off?" Konatsu asked unexpectedly.
"Sure thing, sugar," Ukyo said, eyeing the ninja as he bowed to her, apologized profusely for leaving her alone, and left. So, it seemed there was a spark of jealousy to kindle in the crossdresser ninja after all. "Heh, this will be great. Just like old times," she said, reminiscing. "Now I know how Nabiki felt."
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Chiyeko returned to the house to find Atasuke sitting outside the gates. "I booked reservations for four at Vittorio's," he explained. "I don't know if Ranma or Ukyo like Italian food or not, but it's my favorite restaurant."
"That's OK, I guess," Chiyeko said. She'd never eaten Italian style cuisine before, and didn't know if her mother had, either. She probably had, she decided. Her mother ate like a pig. She wrinkled her nose in disgust.
"I also got four tickets for the romance movie 'Bridges over Dancing Wolves'," Atasuke continued, pulling out four tickets.
"A romantic movie?" Chiyeko said, her heart jumping. "My mother hates those!" she exclaimed. Atasuke looked crestfallen. "Well, it's too late to exchange them," Chiyeko said. Privately, she didn't mind. She liked romance movies, even if her mother hated them. It was a sacrifice the obaba would just have to make for her daughter.
"Everything's ready," Atasuke said, having counted up his money and coming to the conclusion that he'd be broke for the next week. "You should tell your mother."
"Of course," Chiyeko said, then clapped Atasuke on the shoulder. "This is great! I forgive you, even if you are a panty-stealing pervert!"
"Gee, thanks," Atasuke said.
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At the very moment that Chiyeko and Atasuke entered the old Tendo home, Konatsu shook hands with Ryoga outside the Hibiki farm. "So, we are agreed?" Konatsu said, giving the bigger man a steely look.
"Of course," Ryoga said, smiling back. Actually, he didn't really care about who Ranma dated anymore, but it just wouldn't be right if Ranma had a date and he didn't mess it up. "I'll be sure to help."
"Thank you, Hibiki-san," Konatsu said politely. "You are an excellent friend."
"Just lead the way, and remember that you need to lead me back home as well. It's my turn to read the twins their bedtime stories," Ryoga said, hefting his umbrella again. For a moment he wished for his pack.
Konatsu nodded. "I will do that, Hibiki-san," Konatsu replied as he started walking back towards Tokyo.
"And call me Ryoga, will you?" Ryoga said, as he followed Konatsu. "Hey, isn't this the road to Kokura?"
"No," Konatsu replied. "By the way, we need to make one more stop before we catch up to Ranma..."
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DISCLAIMER: Ranma ½ is the property of Rumiko Takahashi, Shonen Sunday, Viz, and other parties; I make no claims of ownership of any of the intellectual or other properties pertaining to it. Oh! My Goddess belongs to Kosuke Fujishima, Studio Proteus, Dark Horse, and other parties, and I make no claims of ownership of any of the intellectual or other properties pertaining to it, either.
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Author's Note: I extol the wonders of carrots produced under the communist system...