Dear Diary Lenny,
I am going to be in such big trouble if anyone ever finds out what happened at the Hannah concert. But since you know I can't keep a secret, I'll tell you now, so I won't be tempted to tell Lilly or somebody else who will subsequently tell Oliver and make me look like a slut. Seriously, I'm not one! Even though it might sound like I am after you hear the story, I'm seriously not. SERIOUSLY!
So dad thought it would be cool for me to have some celebrity guest singers with me tonight. So I sang "We Got The Part With Us" with the Jonas Brothers, and I sang "Old Blue Jeans" With Ashley Tisdale, and then I sang "One in a Million" With Jake Ryan. Oh, and "Bigger Than Us" With Vanessa Hudgens, but she was really bad so I'm counting her out.
After the concert there was this party on Jake Ryan's yacht. All the performers were invited. I was dancing around and having a good time. The problems was, so was my dad. Even though Daddy's really big on me never becoming an underage drunk, he drinks A LOT. He was hamming it up with Vanessa. I seriously swear he tried to feel her up. Ew, dad, sexual predator much? (The weird thing is, I think Vanessa liked it? Eeeew, creepy thoughts, creepy thoughts!)
I was standing by the punch bowel, making sure no hot-headed celebrity studs tried to spike it and ruin my one safe source of liquid. And I was also keeping an eye on my daddy, trying not to be completely humiliated by him. (Which was pretty hard, by the way, considering the predicament described above.) And then Jake Ryan came up to me and started trying to make small talk. I'd write down exactly what he said, but I wasn't really paying attention (which is what got me into trouble) so I can't really remember that well. I thought it was something about the weather, so I was just nodding my head and saying "Yeah, me too." Every time he paused. Then there was a particularly long pause.
"Well?" He said. He looked very hopeful and quite expectant of a quick answer. From the face he was making, I guessed that a yes would be what makes him happiest, so I answered.
"Yes." His eyes lit up and he practically started happy dancing right there.
"Thanks, Hannah. I'm so glad you said yes." He said. I had too look over his shoulder on my tiptoes to see my dad. Things were getting really embarrassing on the dance floor so I began to edge my way to daddy to break the couple apart.
"I'm glad I said yes too." I started to turn away. Jake grabbed my wrist and said something that sounded really weird.
"I'll pick you up at seven on Saturday."
What I really wanted to ask was 'what for?' but that would make it sound like I wasn't listening.
"One question, what should I wear?" I asked. If I didn't know where I was going at seven on Saturday, it might be hard to get dressed.
"I'm sure you'll think of something spectacular to wear to the restaurant. You do like Le Fancy? Right?" Oh, so we're going to Le Fancy, the five star French restaurant that is always so busy and so expensive, that celebrities are the only people who can actually get seated, and then pay for the sky-high prices. I'd never been there, but just going with whatever he said seemed easier than trying to convince him that McDonald's was better.
"Oh, I love Le Fancy." I lied. "I'll wear something 'spectacular'." Then I flashed him an award winning Hannah smile and tore my dad away from Vanessa.
It wasn't until I was safely back at home, wig-less and creepy drunken parent action-less, that I fully realized that I had just set up a date with some guy. This guy was not my boyfriend. My boyfriend didn't know. I was seriously getting on the racier side of celebrity life.
Your adulteress friend,
Miley Stewart
(P.S. Even though this entire thing was about Hannah.)