"So you tried it too?" Edward finally spoke after minutes of silence. "Not exactly. My father was a State Alchemist, he started teaching me alchemy as soon as I was able to read and helped me comprehend his own research. I was actually pretty skilled for my age and whenever his exam would roll around he'd show the military my skills and they allowed him to keep his state certification. He pushed me to learn as much as possible to make sure he passed every year. It was something my father and I bonded over, we'd always been close, but alchemy brought us closer. That is….until my mother died." I looked down at my automail arm, not sure if I was ready to tell Edward and Alphonse my secret. I hadn't known them that long and I didn't really know if I could trust them.
The only person who knew of my past was Roy, and I wasn't fully comfortable with him knowing despite him being the closest thing to family I had. "Was your mom the person you tried to bring back?" I was pulled out of my thoughts by Edwards question. I guess since they trusted me enough to tell me their past, I should tell them mine. "I didn't try and bring her back. My father did." I looked up at Edward and Alphonse, both having their eyes glued on me waiting for me to continue. Edward looked confused and I can imagine if Alphonse could, he'd look the same way. I took a deep breath and continued to explain the situation. "My mother passed away a few months before my fathers yearly certification exam. He spent a lot of time studying human transmutation and decided to attempt it for his exam. Instead of teaching me as he usually did he kept this to himself and told me he'd involve me when the time was right. I had no idea human alchemy existed until the day of the transmutation. I thought we were just doing a regular transmutation when I agreed to help him. It wasn't until the rebound process started that I knew something was wrong.." I felt myself start to tear up, I didn't want to cry in front of them so I stopped for a few seconds, looked down at my lap cutting eye contact and tried to contain myself before I started talking again. Edward and Alphonse knew this was hard to talk about so they didn't nag me to continue.
Before I could continue I heard a loud bang on the table. I looked up to see Edward standing, his fist on table and anger in his eyes. "That bastard…." He hissed. "Using his DAUGHTER FOR EQUIVALENT EXCHANGE!" He was yelling at this point, furious at my father's actions. "Brother, calm down!" Alphonse said trying to get his older brother to sit back down so I could continue. Once Edward calmed down and I felt the urge to cry subside, I finished the rest of my story. "I remember seeing small, black arm-like things pick apart my father. He kept yelling at me to run until he disappeared completely. I remember then going through an abyss of information, I guess you could call it a portal of some-sort. I don't remember much of what I was looking at but I do remember it being painful. Almost as if someone/something was jamming all the information of the universe and alchemy into my head." I trailed off. Edward looked intrigued, digesting every word I said. He was probably comparing my version to theirs. "So you remember going through the portal. Can you do alchemy without a transmutation circle?" Edward asked. "Yeah. I realized I didn't need one a few months after the incident. Do you think that's what I learned in the portal?" I asked Edward. I hadn't really thought about it before but it makes sense. I had to of consumed some information, even if I didn't remember exactly what it was. "I'm not positive but it seems that we both learned how to perform alchemy without a circle due to seeing the truth." Edward seemed confident in his theory but it lacked actual evidence, so he couldn't say it as truth. "Well anyway, I ended up having my arm taken as a toll for seeing the truth….. and I never saw my father again." I said quietly.
There was a lingering silence in the air. Both Edward and Alphonse were processing all the information I flooded them with. "Brother, do you think there's a chance..?" Alphonse whispered to Edward. "Possibly but there isn't a way to be sure." He whispered back. Whispering about me, in front of me, without including me in the conversation was really rude. I was just about to comment on it until Edward asked me a question. "Lux...When returning from the portal did you see your father's body?" He seemed to be on to something by the way he asked me, and I was curious to see what he'd come up with. "No, I didn't. It was like he was never even there." I replied. "Then there's a chance you could get him back." Edward said. This caught me off guard. My father coming back? Haven't they learned you can't create something out of nothing? "How?" I questioned. My eyes were glued to Edward's, anxiously waiting for his response. "If you didn't see his body once you left the portal, there's a chance his body and soul are at the gate." I stared at Edward in disbelief, unable to think of the words needed to express how I feel. "However, I can't vouch for his health, or if he's even alive still." Now I was the one digesting information, I couldn't put together how it was even scientifically possible for him to be alive.
"Explain your reasoning!" I begged Edward. He let out a long sigh and started explaining. "Since I bonded Alphonse's soul to this suit of armor with a blood seal made from my blood, it connected our souls somewhere along the way. I sleep and eat for both Al's and I's bodies, which explains why I also grow at a slower rate. Since you and your father aren't connected the same way, it might not be possible that he's alive. It was just a thought I had." Edward explained. I was too shocked for words, my stomach fell to my ass, I felt like I was going to vomit. "I need to go lay down." I said as I stood up and walked towards the door. "Lux.." Edward spoke up before I walked out the door "Get some rest because the train leaves at 7am tomorrow..and I'm sorry." I nodded and shut the door, heading towards my room.