With apologies to Tolkien who created these characters.
"What a lovely peaceful fortnight we have had," said Faramir. "I can scare believe that neither of us has been injured, our clothes have stayed on, our wives have not scolded us, and the guards have been competent in their duties."
"Yes, life has been exactly as it should for a King, " said Aragorn. "No rebels have tried to usurp my throne, no curses have been heaped upon me, nor I have I been called upon to perform healings that drain all the strength from me, Maybe our fortunes are looking up at long last!"
"Do not be too certain of that," said Arwen entering from the garden at that moment. "It is because a certain lady writer has been watching the Winter Games."
"Oh that sounds fun!" Faramir said hopefully. "Perhaps she will let us have another snowball fight? I did enjoy the last one, even though I doubt that a King and a Steward really could play snowballs with the children without causing something of a scandal."
"I do not think that they are that sort of games," said Arwen. "The contestants hurl themselves off icy mountains at high speed!"
"Oh," Faramir said mournfully. "I don't think I like the sound of that. Maybe you could try it, Aragorn? You have a better head for heights."
"Gladly would I suffer in your stead, ion nîn, said Aragorn, " but if a certain lady writer has anything to do with it," said Aragorn, "you will have to be the one to slide down the mountain and get badly hurt, as I know how to heal you."
"Oh," said Faramir, his grey eyes looking forlornly at his friend. "Perhaps it will be a long time though before she hurts us again, though. Winter Games must be held far away in the North and it will take the writer a while to return."
"She watched the Games though a kind of palantír," said Arwen, "So you can expect her back any moment."
"No!" cried Faramir. "Let us flee, mellon nîn!"
"Stay close by my side," Arwen counselled. "She will not hurt Éowyn nor lay a finger on me!"
A baby's pitiful cry was heard just then from the next room. "The baby is hungry," said Arwen. "I must feed her."
"I will take a walk in the garden then," said Faramir. "It would be most improper for me to remain here."
"I will come with you," said Aragorn. "I feel like some fresh air."
The two men strolled round the garden admiring the beautifully tended flowerbeds. Suddenly they heard a commotion as a band of rebels appeared, quickly overpowering the hapless guards.
"Fight for your life!" cried Faramir.
"Alas, I left Andúril inside," Aragorn lamented.
"And my sword is being sharpened at the armourers!" Faramir lamented. "Alas, how our wives will scold us if we escape with our lives from this peril!"
The rebels seized them and led them away.
Arwen thrust the baby into the arms of the nursemaid and hurried outside to investigate.
"Some rebels have taken the King and the Steward!" moaned a Guard as he unsteadily rose to his feet, rubbing his head.
"A certain lady writer is back," Arwen sighed.