The room is pitch black. It stinks. Hot and sticky with blood. I hear footsteps approaching as I grab a rag to wipe my hands. Stepping over a body, I approach the broken down door.
"Uh...sorry, sir….a man who claims to have spotted an inhuman is looking for you." The young man explains, clearly out of breath. I smirk and crack my knuckles.
"What did I tell you about disturbing me Roberts? Unless that inhuman is linked to my daughter...I do not care." I growl in response. Roberts gulps and squirms in his boots. It takes everything I have not to chuckle.
"I..uh..if it interests you..this inhuman-she made this guy go flying backward. Swept him right off his feet. When she ran off, there was apparently a small crater where she had been standing."
"A small crater and flying backwards you say…?" Roberts merely nods. Could it be? Is it possible that my baby girl survived? That she is alive? I must find out. For her sake.
"Bring him in...I'll hear what he has to say." Pray for his sake it is worthwhile. I grumble under my breath. Roberts nods and turns to walk back down the hallway. I return to cleaning up the mess from my previous encounter.
Daddy is coming baby girl. Daddy is coming…
Daisy
I arrive at the street near my house much earlier than anticipated. The encounter with the factionless man earlier had me freaked out. I didn't-couldn't stop running. I should have stayed and helped. My mother would scold me if she knew that I hadn't, but I panicked. I had to get away, he seen too much. Luckily, for me, he never found out my name. But it makes me wonder just how many others are like me. Could Myles have these abilities? What about my parents?
According to my watch-which is the only adornment Abnegation allows-I have a few minutes before Myles will be home. I decide to grab a seat on the front steps of my house to catch my breath and wait.
If an outsider were to walk among the streets of the Abnegation sector, they would easily notice that our houses are all the exact same size and shape. Made of gray cement with few windows, there is no extravagance present. Although the sight may appear gloomy to some, I see the simplicity as comforting. The other factions tend to interpret the simplicity as a disdain for uniqueness, however, it isn't true. Everything is meant to help us forget ourselves. To protect us from greed, jealousy, vanity, and desire which are all forms of selfishness. If we all look and dress the same, it causes little to no problems to arise. If we have little and want for little, we are all equal. There is no envy.
I try to love it. But part of me wants more.
I feel the buzzing within my fingers and I can't help but crack a smile. To know that I am capable of such power is freeing. I feel alive.
I'm awoken from my fantasy when the sound of laughter fills the air. I spot gray-robed figures walking down the street. While at school, we do our best to not draw attention to ourselves. We simply go unnoticed. But once we're home, the fun and laughter begins. Although my tendency towards sarcasm still faces disdain. Sarcasm is always at someone else's expense; or so I'm told. It bothers me, but maybe it's better that Abnegation wants me to suppress it. Maybe I do not have to leave my family. I could live an Abnegation life, make it work. But I know it's only a lie.
"Daisy! What happened? Are you alright?" Myles speaks up.
I nod. "Yeah, I'm fine." I notice he is with Alisha and her brother Alexander. I scowl when Alisha gives me a strange look. It's as if she knows that I am a different person than I was this morning. Like she knows I'm not normal. I shrug. "I got sick when my test was over. Must be a side effect from the freaky juice they gave us. I feel better now though."
"O..kay." Myles raises an eyebrow at me. "You sure? You look as pale as a ghost."
I nod again. "I'm fine Myles."
Alisha and Alex seem convinced. I avoid looking in the direction of my brother. I can feel him narrowing his eyes at me. He knows when I'm lying.
"Did you guys take the bus today?" I ask. It's a stupid question and I honestly don't care, but I need to change the subject.
"Our father had to work late," Alisha explains, "Something came up. But he wanted us to have time to think before the Choosing Ceremony."
My heart pounds at the mention of the ceremony. I dread even the sound of it.
"You're welcome to come over later if you'd like. We could all go together." Myles suggests politely. I want to punch him.
"Thank you, that would be lovely." Alisha smiles at him. I roll my eyes and groan. It makes me sick to watch them flirt. I notice Alex let out a chuckle at my remark. Him and I have been forced to deal with these two ever since we've met. Myles' eyes leave Alisha as she heads down the walkway. I sigh with annoyance and grab his arm, dragging him into the house before shutting the door behind us.
He turns to face me. His dark, straight eyebrows form into a crease. I often wonder who he looks more like, his mother or his father. Myles and I were adopted by the people we now call our parents. Apparently, we had been found freezing and starving to death in a broken down house at the edge of the Abnegation sector. Myles had ran away from the orphanage and took me with him. He couldn't bear to leave me behind. Rather than send us back, Audrey and Phil Coulson had decided to take us in. Together, they raised us as their own. Only, they left our last names the same. It's an Abnegation custom done out of respect for the birth parents. Johnson was the name that I had been left with at the orphanage. Myles, on the other hand, had no apparent last name. I gave him mine. So we could always be together. It doesn't bother me that our family is mix-matched. I know where I belong.
"Are you going to tell me the truth now?" He questions me.
"The truth is," I say, crossing my arms, "I'm not supposed to discuss it. And you are definitely not supposed to ask."
"So you'll bend all the rules, but this one? Not even for something this important?" Though he appears accusatory, it sounds like he is begging me for information-like he actually wants to know my results.
I narrow my eyes at him. "Will you? What happened in your test, Myles?"
He shuts his mouth and our eyes meet. I think I hear a train horn. So faint that it more than likely was wind whistling in an alleyway. But there is no mistaking the sound when I hear it. It sounds like Dauntless calling me to them. Myles seems to pick up on my thoughts.
"Just...not a word to our parents about what happened, okay?" I say. His eyes stay on mine for a few seconds and then he nods. I let out a sigh.
I want to go upstairs and lie down. The test, the running, and my encounter with the factionless man exhausted me. I groan when I remember that I have to make dinner. I breathe deeply and shuffle into the kitchen to start cooking.
Shortly after, my brother joins me. I clench my jaw. Myles helps with everything. It irritates me. His natural goodness, the inborn selflessness. We work without a word to each other. I cook carrots and corn on the stove while he defrosts the chicken. Most of our food is frozen or canned since the farms these days are far away. My mother explained that long ago people refused to eat or buy genetically engineered food as it was viewed as unnatural. We have no other option now.
By the time my parents arrive home from work, dinner is ready. My father hangs up his jacket and walks over to kiss my forehead. Everyone views him as an opinionated man-too opinionated for his own good-but he is also sweet and loving. I always try to see only the good in him; I try.
"How was your test?" He asks me as we gather around the table.
"Fine." I simply say. I couldn't possibly be Candor. Lying is second nature to me.
"I heard there was some kind of upset with one of the tests," my mother mentions. Of course she would have heard. She recruited the volunteers who administered the aptitude tests. I briefly catch Myles glance at me before turning his head to play with his food.
"Really?" My father says. A problem with the tests is extremely rare.
"I don't know much about it, but Sharon told me that something went wrong and the results had to be reported verbally." My mother pauses to take a bite of chicken. "Apparently the student got sick and was sent home." She shrugs. "I hope they are alright. Did you two hear about it?"
"No," Caleb looks up at her and smiles. He could never be Candor either. My mother merely nods. "So," she turns to my father. "Tell me."
She takes his hand in hers and rubs her thumb in a circle over his hardened knuckles. I stare at their joined hands. It is clear that my parents love each other, but rarely do they show affection in front of us. I scoff internally. I have been wary of love since I was young.
"Tell me what's bothering you?" She adds. My mother had an acute sense of picking up on the feelings of others. Nothing goes unnoticed.
"Just a difficult day at work," He sighs. "Well, really it was Garrett who had the difficult day. I shouldn't claim it as my own."
Garrett is my father's coworker; they are both political leaders. The city is governed by a council of fifty people, composed entirely of Abnegation representatives. Our faction is regarded as incorruptible due to our commitment to selflessness. Leaders are selected by their peers based on character, moral, and leadership skills. Each faction has representatives that can speak in meetings on behalf of a particular issue, but ultimately, the final decision belongs to the council. While supposedly the council makes decisions together, Garrett is particularly influential.
It has been this way since the beginning of great peace, when the factions were formed. I like to think the system persists because everyone is afraid of what might happen if it didn't; war.
"Is this about that report Victoria Hand released?" Victoria Hand is the sole representative of Erudite, selected based on her high IQ score. My father complains about her often. Well, everyone but Erudite does.
This draws my attention. "A report?"
Myles nudges me and gives a warning look. It isn't permitted to speak at the dinner table unless our parents ask us a question. Our listening ears are a gift, my father always says. They give us theirs after dinner, in the family room.
"Yes," my father scowls, gritting his teeth. "That arrogant, self-righteous-" He stops and clears his throat. We all stare wide-eyed. "Sorry, but she had the nerve to release a report attacking Garrett."
I raise my eyebrows. "What did it say?"
"Daisy…" Myles says quietly. I am tempted to kick him. I don't like being chastised, especially by my brother.
"It stated that Garrett's violence and cruelty towards his son is the very reason his son chose Dauntless over Abnegation."
It is unheard of for those born into Abnegation to leave. When it happens, we remember. Two years ago, Garrett's son, Grant, left us for the Dauntless and Garrett was devastated. Grant was taken in by Garrett when his birth parents had mysteriously perished in a house fire. The cause was never known. His older brother, Christian, was adopted by another family. It was never explained why the two siblings were separated. Grant had been Garrett's only child and only family. His wife had passed away years ago.
I never met Grant. He rarely attended community events and never joined his father for dinner at our house. It was strange, but it doesn't matter now.
"Garrett? Cruel?" My mother shakes his head. "Poor man. As if he needs to be reminded of his loss."
"Of his son's betrayal, you mean?" My father says coldly. "I shouldn't be surprised. The Erudite have been attacking us with these reports for months. And this isn't the end."
I know I shouldn't speak out again, but I can't help myself. "Why are they doing this?"
"Why don't you listen to your father, Daisy?" My mother says gently. It is phrased as a suggestion, not a command. I spot Myles giving me a look of disapproval. I stare at my plate. I am not sure I can live this life any longer. It irritates me. I am not good enough.
"You know why," my father continues. "We have something that they want. Valuing knowledge above all else results in a lust for power. It leads men into dark and empty places. We should be thankful that we know better."
I nod. I know I will not choose Erudite. Not over my dead body.
My parents clean up after dinner. They even refuse to let Myles help them. We're suppose to keep to ourselves for the next few hours, so we can think about our results. I yearn to talk to my family about my results. But I can't. May's warning whispers in my head to keep my mouth shut. No one can know. I climb the stairs ahead of Myles. As I am about to head to my bedroom, he stops me.
"Daisy," He looks sternly into my eyes. "Think of our family." I notice an edge to his voice. "But...but we must also think of ourselves. What's good for us."
For a moment, I am stunned. Never have I seen him think of himself. He has always been selfless. I can only say what I am suppose to: "The tests don't have to change our choices."
He smirks. "Don't they though?" He squeezes my shoulder. I merely smile at him and walk into my room. I wish I could speak to him like I want to. But the idea of admitting that I need help is too much to bare.
It will require a great act of selflessness to choose Abnegation or a great act of courage to choose Dauntless. Maybe just choosing one over the other will prove that I belong. This evening, these two qualities will struggle within me and only one can win.
Ward
I don't do Choosing Ceremonies.
Not ever. And I certainly won't this year.
I scrunch up the report in my hands, wishing that it was Victoria's face that I was crumbling up instead. For once, her suspicions are correct.
"Garrett's violence and cruelty to his son Grant Ward is the very reason his son chose Dauntless over Abnegation."
I silently curse both Victoria Hand and Daniel Whitehall. Damn her and damn him for having the goddamn nerve to show it to me. Gripping the wad of paper in my right hand, I burn it to a crisp. I throw the ashes into the trash along with the remnants of my breakfast. I've lost all appetite. The dining hall is empty, save for me. I enjoy the peace. Especially now when the hatred inside me is itching to be set aflame.
Most of the Dauntless went to the Choosing Ceremony. I stayed behind. Partly because I am an initiation instructor and have to wait for the initiates to arrive. I would like to say that's the only reason I've decided not to go, but it's not. It will never be. Entire factions must attend the Ceremony. That includes Abnegation. It includes Garrett.
Being in the same room with Garrett is like being in the same room with a viper. A disgustingly nasty, gray coloured viper. Although it is Candor's turn to conduct the ceremony, his presence still fills the room. I don't need to see him to feel his eyes glaring into me. The most influential leader of Abnegation. Most influential in the government and amongst all factions. If only they knew the monster that he was.
No wonder Victoria Hand hates him so much. No wonder about those cruel reviews. My mind buzzes. It's no wonder about those war plans.
War. The name is something that I've never felt before. It's an eerie feeling. I need to discover what exactly Erudite is up to. I need to get the information to only ones who could help. Before it's too late.
I clench my fists together. I can feel the warmth radiating off of them. My powers are screaming for release. All this hatred is acting as a trigger.
Someone taps me on the shoulder and I turn around. It's Bobbi. I flash a small smile at her. "I've been looking all over for you. We should go over the plans for training the initiates." She says, sliding into the seat beside me on my right. "Doesn't hurt to be prepared."
"Hi to you too, Bobbi." My voice is teasing. I catch her rolling her eyes. "You sure you want the transfers again? They're always harder to train than the Dauntless-born."
"I'm fine with it." I reply, watching her shake her head at me. Little does she know that I actually prefer training the transfers. I'm not entirely sure why, but I find peace in the training room with them. I can relate to them. Unlike the Dauntless-born. I am not Dauntless after all: not truly.
"We'll start with physical training. They will learn to assemble and shoot a gun, then fighting, and followed with knife throwing. Last of all, we'll do the fear simulations and landscapes. Rankings will be announced after each stage." I explain to her, my voice and face expressionless. Bobbi nods in agreement. Normally, we can laugh and share jokes between us. But much like Tripp, Bobbi understands when I am closed-off. She has a knack for sensing when I'm in one of my moods. When my thoughts are not of my own.
Today is one of them. I am smothered by my thoughts. Today brings back a flood of memories that I'd rather not relive, but it seems I have no choice. The memories play out in my head; over and over again. Before I get too caught up in my own mind, Tripp interrupts me by snapping his fingers in front of my face. I hadn't noticed that he joined the table.
"Hey! Ward!" He yells. "Everything alright, man?" Both him and Bobbi have concerned looks written all over their faces. I look at them with a sheepish smile.
"Yeah...yeah, I'm fine." I say.
Tripp glares at me for a brief moment and then his goofy smile returns. Tripp rarely holds a grudge, much less gets offended. Bobbi looks as though she wants to say something, but she drops it when I flash her a look. I'd have to say that both Bobbi and Tripp are my best friends here. I never expected to find friends. In the moment that I had to choose a faction, I was fixated on Dauntless as an escape. A safe haven. The idea of friends never occurred to me.
I am glad of my choice. Of the friends and people that I've come to know. Although I do wish that I could open myself up completely to them. To tell them of my horrific past. But I just can't.
Bobbi clears her throat. "Well, if you boys are good, we should make our way over the Hole. The initiates will be arriving soon."
We make our way through the maze of hallways that make up the Dauntless compound until we reach the Hole. It's literally a room with a giant net in the middle, nothing else. "I wonder who will be the first jumper this year." I hear various of the few Dauntless who chose to stay behind whispering. Tripp and Bobbi begin to discuss training and placing bets amongst the others. I lean against the wall, hidden in the shadows.
I'm hoping for a surprise this year.