Okay I am back . . . I'm really sorry that it has taken me a while to up date I was going to update last night but I fell asleep and forgot to post sorry. I'm really trying to keep the charters in charter, but I feel like I'm making light to wimpy, Sorry bout that I try to make him sound better but I feel like if I make him to tough it would just mess with the story. So sorry if you like light and I'm making you hate this story because of it I'll try better.

Lets see okay apparently I had more reviews then I thought, and I really like you guys so much for reviewing, you're really kind and not mean so that's really great...Oh and sorry if you don't like Ryuzaki being drunk I know he would never do it and I'm sorry. Oh and L was drunk in the last chappy, just in case i messed up I thought I might set that clear.

Okay umm ,i really need to get a check list of things for the authors note. Oh and dang you people and you're good ideals. -shake my fist at you- I might have to take some of them. ha shakes fist . . . I'm really starting to sound like a phyco aren't I?

disclaimer: I don't own 'death note' . . . I know a lot of people don't put that in every chapter but I'd rather be paranoid then sorry.

Oh and sorry for the grammar mess ups in this one ((I think my proof reader just skims))

I watched In horror as he picked up my shirt. My eyes are wide with fear, the mask seems to be slipping more and more easily. And he has both of my hands twisted beside me with the chain. So I can't stop him. I know he is drunk but sometimes when he's the 'workaholic' drunk then he remembers what happen the night before, so that adds to my fear what will he do if he remembers. "Light-kun what happen to you?" He asked with full view of my ribs.

I shake my head trying to get the fear to leave, I keep telling myself 'he isn't going to remember' "Nothing Ryuzaki, we always fight, just last time you kicked me harder then normal."

"The possibility of that is less then 6% Light-kun I always pull my kicks and we haven't been in a fight for 3 weeks and this is less then a week old" He seemed normal like he wasn't drunk at all but then again sometimes he can act normal. "Light-kun who did this to you. I've never left your side so it could be no one else but-." he stopped for a moment to think of the possibility "Light-kun why have you hurt your self?"

I stared at him for a moment. 'Does he really think that I would hurt myself?' I put my hand to my head to try to think, Ryuzaki was still staring at me. I think it would be better if I went with that ideal, it was better than telling the truth, after all if he knew the the Kira case would end and he is the only one I know that can solve it.

"Fine the truth is-" I stopped for a moment I couldn't think of any thing 'I fell taking a shower' no he would of heard. I shook my head and smiled "I fell off the bed a few days ago on to the chair it really hurt but I didn't want to say anything" I turned my head trying to look embarrassment . He looked at me as if he didn't buy it.

"Watari will take you to a doctor tomorrow to have that looked at then." Damn, I'm not sure but I think a doctor might know the difference between a kick and a fall, besides, a fall off the bed can't really cause this. "Light-kun, you really shouldn't hide these kinds of things if you're hurt tell me." I smile at that at least I know he does care.

"Ryuzaki, Watari doesn't need to bother him self with a little cracked rib he has things to do I'll be fine." I'm nearly begging, if the doctor says that this isn't an accident and notices that I have more then just a crack rib, then L might look at the tapes and I'll be lost and he'll know every thing. "And then you would have to leave my side after all I could be Kira." 'Did I just say I could be Kira' I mentally hit myself on the head for that one.

"No light-kun Matsuda is Kira remember?" He shook his head "Or maybe your father is Kira trying to frame his only son. He's tired of the justice system not working, and when I came he decided to blame you and make it look like you did it." I listened to him until he finally fell asleep. His insane theories I look at the clock 3 a.m I swear the insomniac gets more sleep then me sometimes.

I take his computer and try to see if I can get to the cameras, maybe I can erase them or better yet replace them. I know he will be suspicions but I really need to. If he's sees what he has done not only will he take me off the Kira investigation but with his ideals of justice he might place himself in jail.

I try to get on but it's password protected so I got no where, my hacking skills aren't up to par with L's computers. and I slept all day so sleeping right now isn't really the best ideal.

I went to the window and opened it again, the air feels so nice and the snow is coming in now, it chills me a little but I like it. I look over at L, and smile, he seems so nice when he sleeps I really do like him. I walk over to him and pull his hair back looking at him more closely. I know he will wake up if I stay this close any longer but I do like him. I kiss him on the cheek. I really don't know why. But I do hope someday he will go back to normal.

The computer beeps again, mad at its owner. I turn off the lights and look at the computer screen. "Someday, my night light we will have the old Ryuzaki back." I go to the window and wait for the morning.

"Light-kun why is it so cold in here?" I open my eyes to see Ryuzaki setting up in bed. The window is still open and the room is freezing. I must have fallen asleep again. Lately that's all I've been doing.

"I opened the window last night to get some fresh air and must of forgotten to close it." He looked at me with that same look of concern that's normally in his eyes. I hate that look it makes me want to tell him the truth, but I don't think I ever could.

"Light-kun" he just shook his head and look worried, its strange to see the look of worry on Ryuzaki's face I don't know what to say to make him not worry, but anything would be better then looking at his sorrow filled eyes. I turn away and look outside. I need to know what he remembers of last night. But I can't just ask him straight out. "You need to tell me Light" He is standing not a foot away from me looking at me with those big curious eyes.

"There is nothing to tell Ryuzaki" He shakes his head sadly then sets next to me. "Light for a moment I am going to pretend you are not Kira" I look at him a bit mad, but I just nod wondering what he's getting at. "Then you are worried perhaps I underestimated you, you are rather young and possibly the case is getting to you, I suggest rest but all you do is stay up all night. Light-kun you need to stop being so worried. Most of the time when I look at you fear flashes before your eyes, worry is apparent. You need to take a brake and tell me what is truly wrong"

I open my mouth to speak but I can not think of anything to say. He thinks the Kira case is getting to me and that there is something else wrong. But I can't think of a good excuse for what is making me act the way I am beside the truth. Ryuzaki sighs "Does it have something to do with me?"

I know there is really no mask when it comes to talking with Ryuzaki but I can't let him know it's about him. "None of what you're saying is right Ryuzaki, I'm fine and nothing of the Kira case is bothering me." He sighs once more and pats me on the shoulder, it make me flinch a little and I think he noticed but he said nothing. I don't think he remembers last night but I do know that soon he will figure it out, and unless I can do something the Kira investigation will end.

He gets up and motions me to get up as well I do so and he closes the window. We head to the bathroom and he uncuffs me so I can take a shower. But this time he does not turn around to let me undress. "Ryuzaki, could you turn around?"

He looks at me curiously "Why Light-kun, I have seen you in a state of undress before why is now any different?"

I think quickly "Misa is right you are a perv." he shakes his head and turns around "Thank you" he nods.

I get in the shower and pull back the curtains then take off my clothes I really don't trust him, I put a towel near by just in case but nothing happens. He leaves me alone and does his work on his laptop.

We went down to get breakfast, he ate some kind of cake and tea, I really wasn't paying attention this time. Watari gave me some oatmeal. I thank him, I didn't really eat it, I know it would taste good but I think I would just get 'sick' because of it. Ryuzaki stared at me for a while until he finally said something. "Light-kun you look pale are you okay?"

I nodded "I'm fine Ryuzaki." about five minuets later I wasn't paying attention when I felt a hand on my forehead. I thought it was Watari but the hand was too soft and smooth. I look up to see Ryuzaki standing above me. It scared me a little I never even noticed he moved.

"Ryuzaki what are you doing?" He shook his head and removed his hand.

"you seem to be lying Light-kun you are not fine. How long have you been like this?" I knew what he was thinking, he was wondering why he had not noticed. He was worried that his skills were slipping. Well at least I can still read someone.

"I'm fine it's nothing, we should go down to the task force, unless you plan to stall the Kira investigation any longer." he shook his head "if you don't tell me Light-kun then I will just monitor the videos to when you first started acting strangely. and for some reason I think you were suppose to go the doctors."

Okay I should have another chappy up at later today sorry for the cliff hanger but don't worry in one of these chapters Ryuzaki will most likely find out. umm thanks again for reading.