AUTHOR'S NOTE: Alright, I've gotten one big 'Yes' from Ani for changing the rating, but I guess everyone else is like me and says "Fuck you, AN; I'm skipping to the story!" Which is sad, because I tend to actually be kind of funny in these things! You can chart the timeline of when I had tonsillitis last spring in my Rainbow Boys fanfic.
So come on – VOTE people! I like to keep my readers happy and don't want to lose anyone by bumping up the rating (not like most people actually read just what's age appropriate – I should know).
The scene with Malik and Ishizu at the end of the chapter is meant to be funny, not culturally insensitive or any kind of racist joke. If I offend someone, please let me know and I will fix/re-write/delete that scene.
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CHAPTER FOUR – Good(?) Nights and Funny Mornings
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After the group split up, Yugi decided that she wanted to go ahead and go to bed; it had been one exhausting day, at least mentally, plus she knew that shopping the next day would ware her out tomorrow. She wondered what they would come out looking like between super-sexual Mai and traditional Ishizu.
Yami was sitting at her desk reading over her homework assignments for the next day so he would be able to pass for her well enough during class, even though he could use the impending arrival of his 'sister' to explain why he might be a little distracted.
Yugi was glad Yami was distracted so he wouldn't laugh at her as she dug through the closet and drawers trying to find something that would make a suitable pair of pajamas since she wasn't going to just sleep in a pair of Kuriboh boxers and a T-shirt that night.
But then she paused. Why not? He'd gone over to Tea's one morning super-early and she'd answered the door in nothing but a pair of shorts and a T-shirt. And it hadn't looked silly on her or anything like that. Determined, Yugi grabbed her regular pajamas and went into the bathroom to change. *
When she came back, Yami was just finishing his history reading so Yugi walked over to him and said, "We should get some sleep."
"I agree." Yami turned and without any warning picked her up and carried her to the bed. "You're lighter like this – easier to carry," he announced.
Yugi squeaked and held onto him but laughed when her dark tucked her in like he would a little kid. "Wearing boxer shorts feels so weird," she confessed, blushing bright red, "I mean… things are missing!"
Yami chuckled and climbed into bed with her since he had taken to sleeping in her bed every night since he'd found a way to materialize his own body. "I'm sorry you feel so odd, but I'm glad that you're not in pain, aibou. We should consider ourselves lucky that this is all that happened to you."
She picked up her pillow and bopped him on the head with it. "Let's see how lucky you feel if you wake up in the morning without your bits."
Grandpa walked down the hallway past the room and shook his head laughing. He knew he probably should have been a little concerned at the screaming and squeaking bed-springs, but he a) trusted Yugi, b) trusted the pharaoh, and c) knew a good pillow-fight when he heard one. He was relieved, actually; his poor granddaughter sounded like she was feeling a bit better.
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Ryou was still avoiding Bakura's gaze when they got back to the house as she readied herself for bed, moving around the bathroom to brush out her long white hair and tie it back so it wouldn't get knotted, brushing her teeth, and the like. She knew that sometimes her yami could be an insensitive ass – it was one of his more typical personality traits, actually – but sometimes the things he said hurt her really bad.
True, she and Bakura didn't always flirt the way Marik and Malik did, nor were they as obviously perfect for each other as Yami and Yugi, but there was genuine affection between them now that Ryou had hoped meant something.
But Bakura had insulted her in front of their closest friends, calling her weak and girly, and even worse he'd called her useless. She'd thought they'd been getting close, but was that how he really saw her even when she was a boy?
She sighed and changed into the pajamas she had found for the night, one of her dad's oversize T-shirts that hung down past her knees. She wished that she had more than just a shirt, but she'd already found that most of her pants didn't fit right – she would have to pull the drawstring as tight as it could go if she did wear them. *
She finished up in the bathroom and went down the hall into her bedroom where Bakura was setting up a doggie-pallet on the floor out of the quilts and blankets her family kept in the linen closet. "Um, yami? What are you doing?"
"What does it look like, stupid?" Bakura snapped, "I'm making up a second bedding… area… thing. I can just imagine what those do-gooder friends of yours would say if we slept in the same bed now. 'Oh, Bakura, you evil monster!'" he said, faking falsetto, "'How could you do such a horrible thing, taking advantage of that poor girl!' So one of us will take the bed and one the floor."
Ryou sighed, figuring that Bakura would make her take the floor since he was still in his 'I am Zorc, hear me roar!' phase. But, to her surprise, he crawled under the fuzzy blanket on top of the pallet and stared up at her with his hard brown eyes. "Turn off the light and let's get some sleep."
Coming from anyone else, a guy giving up his spot for a girl might not be a big deal. But coming from Bakura… Ryou was touched. "Kay. Night, yami." She crawled into bed and turned off the light, then started giggling. "Have fun at school tomorrow!"
"Ryou!"
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"Alright, Ishizu, I'm already starting to see problems developing between the two of us if you insist on dressing me up like Chastity Barbie," Malik stated over the sound of Marik's laughter as she emerged from the bedroom in the jammies her sister had given her. She was fully covered in a pair of pajama pants, a long sleeve pajama shirt, and all of her pretty wild blonde hair was pulled back into a scrunchie. It wasn't a bad look, but on someone who liked showing as much skin as Malik it was ridiculous! *
Even Odeon was chuckling into his hand as the two sisters glared at each other. "Can't I just wear the T-shirt and shorts I usually do?" Malik demanded.
"Absolutely not! Until we can get you a proper bra and panties" – Malik cringed here – "you have to be very careful about what you wear! I won't have my little sister running around looking like a tramp, Malik!"
"Who's going to see me?!" she argued, "Not like it's any of your business how I dress anyway, but I could run naked around the house and it wouldn't be a big deal! Hell, Odeon helped bathe me when I was a kid, you're my big sister, and Marik and I used to have the same body! It's not like we're shy around each other!"
Marik raised his hands as if though to say 'leave me out of this one'. Sure, he loved a bit of drama as much as the next psychotic yami but he'd seen Ishizu PMSing and Malik was scary enough when she hadn't had an emotional day. Since he didn't want to be tortured or something, he opted to step back.
"That reminds me!" Ishizu said, suddenly, turning to his yami, "I made up the guest bedroom with clean sheets for you so it will be nice and comfortable."
"Excuse me?" he demanded.
"Why is he sleeping in there instead of in our room?" Malik demanded of his sister.
"It's not proper for a male and a young lady to be sharing a bed, Malik," Ishizu insisted, "So Marik is going to move down the hall. You can still see each other around the house. During the day. When you're both fully dressed."
"What if I need Marik in the middle of the night or something?! He has to be with me, Ishizu!" Malik protested.
"I said no, little sister!" Ishizu said firmly, "End of discussion!"
"I hate you sometimes!" Malik shrieked, going back into her room and slamming the door. Ishizu turned and went to her own room, doing the same.
Marik and Odeon exchanged a look, then Marik shrugged. "I value my nuts a little too much to even try it tonight."
"For once, you and I are in agreement, Sir." **
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In the morning, Yami and Yugi woke up to the sound of Yugi's alarm clock. Yami went to take a shower while Yugi made sure that Yami had all of the homework and school supplies he needed to turn in for her that day. She didn't need to get dressed since Tea had promised to bring her a change of clothes so they could go to the mall (Mai had agreed to take some to Ryou as well).
They went downstairs where Grandpa had laid out pancakes and potatoes for all of them to eat. "How are you feeling this morning, Yugi?" the old man asked, gazing seriously at the girl.
"It's still really weird, Grandpa, and it's going to be really awkward when I have to get a shower this morning, but I guess I'll have to get used to it pretty quickly," Yugi said, blushing. "I'm just glad that Tea, Mai, and Ishizu are around to help, even though I can't imagine the Ishtar girls are getting along to well since they're so different."
Yami chuckled, agreeing, but he couldn't help adding, "I'm surprised that Tea was willing to take off school. I know you two are good friends, but she's usually such a stickler for the rules."
"That's true, but she's really dedicated to all of our friendship, too; I guess she just wants to help out in whichever way she can." Yugi giggled softly. "Besides, I bet she, Mai, and Ishizu are going to get a few things for themselves while we're running around with Seto's credit card."
The pharaoh laughed. "Make sure you blame all of the purchases on Malik so you don't get in trouble with him!"
"Of course!" Yugi grinned at him and walked with Yami to the front door where Tea was just arriving. "Oh, hi Tea!" she greeted cheerfully.
Tea's eyes were glued to the dark even as she talked to her 'friend'. "Good morning, Yugi; I brought you some clothes." She shrugged a gym-bag off of her shoulder and handed it to the smaller girl who ran upstairs to change. "And how are you this morning, Pharaoh?"
"As well as can be expected," Yami answered charmingly, "I'm actually looking forward to seeing how Bakura and Marik do in school today since they've never had to sit through a whole day of classes for their hikaris before."
"Neither have you," she pointed out, hoping he would be amused instead of taking it as a challenge.
Luckily, he did. "That's true," Yami agreed with a laugh, "But I'll probably take to schooling a little bit better than they will; I had tutors coming in every day when I was growing up, but Bakura has never gone to any kind of school, and Marik hasn't if Malik hasn't. It will just be funny to see."
"I guess so." Tea tried to think of something else to talk to the spirit about with, something else that made him laugh or that otherwise made her sound interesting or worldly. All she could come up with is, "Aren't you supposed to be on your way to school right now?" 'Shit!' she thought, 'That makes him sound like I want him to leave!'
"Well, I thought to wait until Yugi came downstairs," Yami replied.
Tea was glad that she had brought Yugi some fairly normal clothes. She wanted to make Yugi the opposite of what she thought Yami would want in a girl but she didn't want to be too obvious about it or the others might try to get involved and stop her, which she couldn't allow.
Yugi came downstairs soon in a pair of rather plain jeans and a slightly baggy hooded shirt that was mostly black with a white front. Tea smirked, wondering how Yami would react, and she put the hood up, the sewn-on ears and buttons making the shirt a panda. So sickeningly childish and cute that it was the exact opposite of sexual!
Yami grinned and reached out to finger one of the ears. "It's soft. I wonder why you have something like this, Tea," Yami commented.
"Oh, uh, it's something I wore when I was about twelve!" she said truthfully; she had gone through the clothes that her mother had saved to purposely find the most childish thing she could.
"I actually kind of like it!" Yugi confessed, smiling back at her dark. "It's really comfortable!"
Yami patted Yugi on top of the bear-ears and grabbed his back. "Alright, Tea, I'm off. I'm counting on you to look after Yugi for me."
"Sure," she replied, "You can always count on me, Yami." 'For anything!'
"Bye then!" Yami waved as he took off down the sidewalk.
Yugi smiled at Tea once her dark half was gone. "So are we going straight to the mall and meeting them there or going to pick all of them up or…?"
"I talked to Mai last night and she said we should all try and go as a group even though I can't imagine the mall will be all that busy today. I bet we split up as soon as we get inside."
"That's okay," Yugi said, "I mean, all three of us sure have different ways of dressing. Normally I just wear things that Yami will be comfortable in if we change places, but I actually kind of prefer cute things like this; I just never wore them because people would always treat me like a little kid."
"Why would they do that?" Tea asked, managing to sound believable, "I think you should wear whatever you want to, Yugi."
"You're right!" she agreed, beaming.
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Bakura would have laughed at the look on Ryou's face if he wasn't caught between the urge to say/do something that would make Ryou try to eviscerate him with a hat and the urge to kill the Valentine bitch. ***
"I'm not comfortable like this, Mai!" Ryou complained, tugging at her clothes trying to pull the skirt down to cover her thighs and the shirt up to cover her breasts. Mai had brought her a pair of clothes but there was no way one of Mai's bras would do anything for Ryou's little chest, so all Ryou was wearing was a short khaki skirt that barely brushed the tops of her kneecaps, heeled sandals she could barely balance in, and a red halter top that wanted to slide down since there wasn't much to hold it up.
"Oh come on, Ryou, it's not that bad!" Mai argued, "And it's just short-term anyway! I'm sure the first thing we're going to be getting you girls is some proper underwear."
Bakura snorted. "With the way Malik dresses, he probably won't want any."
"Be nice!" Ryou chided. "Um, Mai, I have to ask this… this isn't the kind of thing you're going to be getting me for everyday wear, is it?!"
"Why not?" Mai asked, "How are you going to get guys' attention if you don't have something on display to grab it?"
"B-b-but I don't want strange men staring at me!" Ryou squeaked, brown eyes big.
"For once I'm with Ryou," Bakura said firmly, "I don't mind getting to play 'cat and mouse' with the perverts who think my light is there for their appreciation, I would like to have time to basically enjoy being an almost-living human incarnation again and with the number of perverts clothes like that would attract I would barely have time to breathe."
"I dress like that and I don't always have to worry about guys!" Mai protested, surprisingly unafraid of Bakura for all that she tried to avoid getting on Marik's bad-side.
"Now correct me if I'm wrong, Little Miss Titties, but didn't some guy who didn't even know your name offer to marry you just because he was attracted to your body? No way is that going to be happening to my light, understand?"
"Bakura!" Ryou shrieked, horrified by his horrible manners, but Mai just laughed not letting the spirit get to her. "Maybe you're just afraid that if I dress your innocent little light up too sexy you'll find that you aren't able to resist her feminine charms!"
"Are you kidding?! I'm gay! I'm so gay that rainbow flags bow before my gayness!" Bakura paused then glared, a confused squiggle in his forehead. "Wait, that didn't sound bad-ass at all!"
Mai burst out laughing and Ryou was giggling into her hands. "Just go to school and save whatever dignity you have left, yami."
"Sh-shut up!"
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"I'm not coming out!" Malik shrieked through the bedroom door. Tea and Yugi had picked up Ryou and Mai and arrived at the Ishtar house as Marik, hair combed flat, was headed out the door. Ryou had greeted her yami's best friend but Marik was laughing too hysterically into his hand that all he could do was wave as he hopped on Malik's motorcycle.
The group of girls had gone inside to see if Malik and Ishizu were ready, only to come upon the current situation; Ishizu trying to coax Malik out of her room while the Egyptian hikari refused to even crack the door.
"I don't understand what the problem is, Malik," Ishizu chided, "You look fine now come out there and stop acting like a little brat."
"'Fine'?!" Malik shrieked, throwing the door open in a rage and standing in front of them, "Does this look 'fine' to any of you?! I look like an Egyptian nun!"
Ishizu had tried to dress Malik in one of her plain cotton tunics that hung unflatteringly on Malik's curvaceous frame since Ishizu had refused to even loan Malik a belt to give it some shape. Her long wild hair was all wrapped up and under the heavy cloth Ishizu had been wearing during Battle City. In fact, just about all of Malik that was visible were her hands (one clenched in a white-knuckled fist and the other tight around the Millennium Rod) and her furious expression.
The girls all stared in shock while behind them Odeon, leaning against the wall, stifled a laugh into the back of his hand. Malik's purple eyes flashed and she turned her rage on him. "Laugh and you'll be browsing for new testicles on Amazon!"
"Yes, Mast-erm-… Mistress."
Malik let out another furious shriek. "I'm not going out like this!" she insisted.
"At least you're covered, Malik," Ryou commented, still tugging at her own clothes, "I'm not exactly comfortable either and this top refuses to stay on right." The two girls stared at each other for a second before Malik reached out and snagged Ryou by the wrist, pulling her into the room. A few minutes later they emerged in each other's outfits, Ryou having used the cloth that had been draped over Malik's hair as a belt and Malik fully decked out in her gold.
"This is more like it!" Malik said, spinning around.
"Malik, a young lady shouldn't-!"
Ryou giggled and asked, "Ishizu, since when did you start sounding like my yami?"
The baffled woman gaped for a few seconds before snapping her mouth shut and blushing.
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* = All of the girls will have much sexier jammies by the time I get to the big 'in-bed-after-dark' scene.
** = I imagine Odeon would call Marik something since Marik is a part of his precious master.
*** = The hat thing came from "Friendly HOSTILITY" which is K. Sandra Fuhr's most bitching web-comic ever because everyone needs a Collin.