Ch. 3: A boy who loved a Noah
Feeling lighter for having told Lavi his story, Allen followed the red-head to the canteen, to have dinner. As always, his stomach was grumbling angrily, demanding to be filled and, as always, Lavi was making fun of him as they walked. "Always", Allen realised with a start, only lasted for two weeks now, yet the time he had spent with Road prior to the arrival of the Exorcists seemed like another life.
Road, he thought sadly, are you really my enemy now? Surely Komui and everybody must be wrong because you are not evil. A person with a smile like that cannot be evil, right?
'What can I do for you?' asked Jerry the cook, snapping Allen out of his glum thoughts. He blinked and saw Lavi already waiting with a plate of curry and a piece of cheesecake. The cake looked mouth-watering, but then everything did when he was hungry.
'Cheesecake,' he exclaimed without thinking. 'And three portions of chicken curry and,' he paused because he had no idea what else to take. The cook laughed and promised the day's special, which, Allen soon found out was a ratatouille that also looked particularly appetising. He took his huge serving and followed Lavi to where the other teenagers were sitting. "Teenagers" still felt like a weird way to address Exorcists, even in his head.
'You guys never seem surprised at my eating habits,' he muttered after they had exchanged greetings and he and Lavi sat down, opposite to Alma and Daisya, who laughed at the comment.
'We've been eating with Alma for a while now,' Lavi pointed out cheerfully and Allen's eyes landed on a small bowl of what looked like mayonnaise. He blinked, because even his desperate stomach didn't think that eating a bowl of mayonnaise was a good idea.
'There are eggs underneath, he says,' Daisya informed him dryly, but he also looked a bit green at the thought of the dish. Allen nodded slowly, glancing at Kanda, when the latter scoffed. It came as no surprise to see the almost finished plate of soba in front of the samurai. He had never seen Kanda eat anything else, except for missions when soba was unavailable and he had to eat at least something to keep up with the task. Usually, those times coincided with the times when Kanda was in a particularly bad mood.
'Yeah, I see how that makes you immune to weirdness in terms of eating habits,' Allen muttered and tried the curry, discovering it delicious. In the meantime, Daisya informed Allen that the eating habits of Alma had calmed anyway, since he discovered what he liked and what he didn't and didn't ask for his dishes to be drowned in mayonnaise anymore.
'Jerry was having a fit every time Alma went to him and asked for mayonnaise to kill the taste of the dish, poor guy. You know how he prides himself for being able to amaze everybody's taste buds. Alma gave him quite a headache,' the Turk said with a laugh. 'I've been told that the cook in the Asian Branch was similar and he also had to deal with Kanda, before somebody had the brainwave to give him soba.'
'Couldn't you have just chosen the dishes you like?' Allen, who didn't understand the concept of not liking a dish, asked Alma, who blushed and mumbled something. 'What?'
'He said it's not your business beansprout,' Kanda growled, not looking up from his plate as he elegantly picked up the last of his noodles with chopsticks. The temperature around them seemed to drop and Allen realised that it would be smarter to let the topic slide.
'My name is Allen,' he said instead, glaring at Kanda, who glared back and said that he'd already expressed his feelings towards learning names and he was not going to repeat himself. 'Was he such an asshole to you guys as well, when you came around?' Allen asked, looking at Lavi and Daisya, ignoring Kanda's hissed "I'm still here".
'He seems to love you in particular,' Daisya admitted with a snigger. 'Maybe he gets nastier as he gets older,' he mused with a wicked grin. Lavi snorted into his hand, trying to disguise it as a cough, because laughing at Kanda was dangerous. Allen thought the samurai needed to chill out but he had yet to say that out loud.
'Maybe he will stab you,' Kanda growled threateningly. Allen was starting to get used to the fact that the threats were mostly empty, but they still made him flinch. His imagination was dutifully providing him with visualisations of Kanda's threats and they looked very realistic.
'Like you would,' Daisya laughed, which, Allen though, was not the smartest thing to do. 'Anyways, Allen, did you hear that Lenalee's on her way back?' he asked, smirking in a way that suggested Allen should be very eager to see the girl.
'Is she?' he asked back, feeling a treacherous blush colour his cheeks at the implications and hidden meanings in Daisya's comment. Lavi snorted again, this time openly. Allen elbowed him in the side, so that the stupid rabbit didn't think that he can mock him.
'Yeah,' Lavi confirmed. 'But you should watch out, because Komui is hugely overprotective of his little sister, so if he finds out-'
'Guys!' Allen exclaimed, feeling his face burn. Who the hell did they take him for? 'There is nothing to find out and you know it very well,' he protested. A wicked smirk stretched Lavi's lips as he asked whether Allen was sure, because Lenalee surely thought there could be. At that point, Alma giggled and Kanda got up, leaving the table wordlessly, creating a moment of stunned silence.
'Do you think Kanda's jealous of Allen?' Daisya asked, making Alma cackle. He was sure that it was by pure coincidence that Kanda had finished eating at that particular moment and left, but it was an amusing coincidence to exploit anyway. 'Allen, if you have not only Komui but also Kanda after you, then you are a dead man,' he added keeping his tone serious, even as the corners of his lips twitched. The thought of Kanda and Lenalee together didn't sink in properly, so he pushed it away. There was no way in hell it was even possible.
'If I was you, I wouldn't let Yuu hear that,' Alma informed Daisya. It took Allen a moment to understand the phrase and he realised that he couldn't blame Kanda for wanting to be called something other than "Yuu". Lavi snickered again, the expression on his face making Allen wonder if he took it as a mission to piss Kanda off.
'Well, he's probably off to chop something up in the training area,' Daisya dismissed the threat although he did look around, much to Lavi's and Alma's amusement. 'Back to the topic, Allen, because I have never seen Lenalee smile so sweetly at me or Kanda or even Alma here and he's a real charmer,' he added. Alma blushed furiously at his words.
'Oi, what about me?' Lavi demanded, sounding insulted to be omitted.
'Well Lavi, all the girls in the Order know that you need no encouragement to flirt with them,' Daisya shot back and it was Lavi's turn to blush. However, a Bookman apprentice didn't take lightly to being outsmarted and Daisya blushed, just as much as Alma had moments ago, when Lavi asked him if there was any particular reason why he was interested in Lenalee so much.
'Poor Daisya,' Alma cooed, a grin belying his tone. 'You do know that she'll never look at you that way, right?' he asked, which earned him a heated protest from Daisya and a question whether Alma could honestly say that he had never fantasised about Lenalee. The question made both Lavi and Alma blush harder and Allen blinked at them.
'Really?' he asked, because he never thought about Lenalee as more than a friend. He flinched when three incredulous gazes focused on him. 'Uh, I mean,' he started uncomfortably.
'Allen, have you actually seen Lenalee Lee?' Daisya asked slowly, as though he was talking to a five-year-old. Allen nodded. Of course he had seen Lenalee and she's probably pretty, but- 'Are you gay Allen? You should not say that out loud here, the church is kind of against it,' Daisya added with a wicked smile.
'Stop saying such stupid things,' Allen protested hotly. 'Just because my mind is not as perverted as yours it doesn't mean that-' he cut himself off, realising that they were all laughing. 'Seriously, you guys,' he muttered, ignoring Lavi's suggestion that maybe Allen was too young. He was not a kid, damn it.
'Maybe Allen has left somebody behind?' Alma suggested after a moment of silence and, unbidden, the image of smiling Road came to Allen's mind. He chased it away because Road was supposed to be the enemy, so he shouldn't be thinking about how pretty her smile was and how her eyes sparkled when she laughed. He didn't want her to be the enemy. He shook his head, suddenly feeling sad.
'I think I'll be going, you guys,' he said, getting up in the somewhat uncomfortable silence that fell between them. The smile that stretched his lips when he looked at them didn't seem convincing even to him, but he didn't feel like trying better, so he just left.
He didn't look where he was going, hoping that his feet would guide him to his room, where he could brood. However, his feet hadn't yet memorised the layout of the headquarters, the vast building that seemed to contain a never ending supply of unused corridors. Consequently, when he looked up after some time, he wasn't sure where he was.
Was there really somebody who had gotten lost and starved to death? He didn't want to believe Daisya's words, but the Turk couldn't possibly be always joking, right? He gulped, wondering if he should turn back or go on. Had he been going away from the central part of the building or had he turned at some point and was heading back?
The sound of footsteps was a blessing and, not thinking much, he ran in that direction. As soon as he turned the corner, he also saw light and he laughed in relief, catching up with a small group that, he realised quickly, contained Lenalee. The dinner conversation came back to him and he hoped that the others wouldn't see the blush he felt warming his cheeks.
'Allen,' she exclaimed, smiling brightly. 'Were you on your way to greet us?' she asked. He couldn't tell her that he had simply got lost, could he? But should he lie if Lenalee really might like him a bit more than usual? Komui, standing next to him was nearly glaring, but Allen couldn't guess whether it was a warning to not hurt Lenalee's feelings or to stay away from his precious, pure sister. He looked from one sibling to the other a couple of time, before another person caught his attention.
Standing next to Lenalee, looking at him emotionlessly, was a petite, young woman with Asian features and shoulder-long, straight, black hair that reminded Allen of Kanda. She could only be the girl Lavi had mentioned earlier that day. Short and thin, she looked pretty fragile, her uniform torn in many places and bloodied, bandages shining through a couple of larger tears. However, the impression of fragility was somewhat broken by the two, large machetes she was carrying. They gleamed even in the dull light of the torches and Allen didn't doubt that they were as sharp and well cared for as Kanda's Mugen was. He could only hope that the girl wasn't as eager to use her deadly weapons as Kanda was.
'Kaori, meet Allen Walker, a new Exorcist,' Komui's voice snapped Allen out of his thoughts. 'Kaori is a Second Exorcist,' he added. For some reason the fact that he felt the need to precise that felt like a punch to the stomach to Allen. It was like he was making a difference between the Exorcists and Kaori. Did he make a difference between the Exorcists and Alma and Kanda as well? The very idea sickened him although he wasn't entirely sure why.
'It is an honour to meet you, Master Exorcist,' Kaori spoke tonelessly, bowing deeply. Allen recoiled: what was that behaviour? He was still trying to wrap his head around what Lavi had told him earlier that day so it had surprised him. Kanda and Alma acted normally enough, so it was easy to forget that they were supposed to be crafted weapons, but this girl- He shook his head and forced on a smile.
'Please call me Allen, Kaori,' he said. 'It's a pleasure to meet you,' he added, noticing that no expression crossed Kaori's face at his words. A glance at Komui told Allen that the man was troubled and a glance at Lenalee revealed a sad expression.
'We should continue,' Komui commented. 'Kaori needs to be checked up by a doctor,' he added. Allen noted that Lenalee seemed unscratched and Lavi's words about Kaori acting like a shield came to his mind. It was somewhat revolting to find that they were probably true and even more so, that Lenalee had allowed it. Absent-mindedly, he fell into step with the small group.
'It's sad, isn't it?' Lenalee whispered to his ear. He glanced at her. 'I had hoped I'd have a friend when a girl came from the Asian Branch, but she's nothing like it and she doesn't even acknowledge the fact that we are equals,' she added.
'We are not equals, Master Exorcist,' Kaori said tonelessly, making Allen and Lenalee jump in surprise. 'My stamina and training far surpass your abilities. My senses are sharper and my regenerative seal-'
'Enough, Kaori,' Komui interrupted her, sounding somewhat upset. 'I have told you before that you should mind the life-time you have left and not risk your life unnecessarily.'
'You have also told me to protect the Exorcists with whom I am sent out,' she replied in the same, toneless voice. 'If my life runs out while I am carrying out your orders, I will have fulfilled my purpose,' she added.
Allen felt sick at her calm and cold words. Did she really think that the purpose of her life was to follow Komui's orders? Instinctively, Allen understood that she must have been taught that at some point, because no human being was like that. Who, with their soul and heart in the right places, could have taught anybody such a philosophy? Kaori was created by the Black Order's scientists, so the answer seemed obvious.
What had he gotten himself into? Wasn't the Black Order supposed to be the good guys?
'Brother, I'm fine so maybe I can go to have a dinner with Allen,' Lenalee suggested, smiling. Through her smile, Allen could see worry, probably for him, but he couldn't find it in him to appreciate the gesture. He shook his head even as Komui nodded, and said that he had already eaten. Lenalee's smile faltered, before returning even brighter.
'I'll grab something quick then and we can go somewhere quiet to rest a bit,' she suggested. 'You've also just returned from your mission, haven't you?' she asked.
'Yeah, and I'm a bit tired, so I guess that I'll go to my room and sleep,' he replied, hoping that she wouldn't take it badly. He knew that Daisya and Lavi had been right and Lenalee did smile at him in a different way than she smiled at the others. He had seen women react to his Master and he was well aware of the similarities between their behaviour and that of Lenalee. Not being like his Master, he didn't want to give Lenalee even the smallest hint that her feelings might be returned.
'Oh,' was all the girl said, before looking down. On Komui's face, satisfaction was fighting for dominance with sadness and, grateful to be back in the part of the building he knew, Allen excused himself quickly. He went down the corridor towards his room and then, when Lenalee, Komui and Kaori disappeared behind a corner, he changed his direction. He wanted fresh air so, instead of going to his room, he went to one of the inner courtyards, surprised when he saw Alma sitting there, meditating.
'Allen,' Alma whispered just when Allen was turning around to leave Alma undisturbed. 'I wanted to apologise,' he added, effectively stopping Allen in his tracks.
'What for?' he asked, turning back to Alma and coming closer, so that they didn't have to speak too loud. He didn't want Lenalee to discover that he had lied, should she wander the corridors rather than going to eat.
'For my comment during the dinner,' Alma said as though it was obvious, now watching calmly how Allen sat down in front of him, crossing his legs to mimic Alma's position. There was something in him that reminded Allen of Kaori, something in his posture: relaxed but ready to pounce, should a danger produce itself. 'I know much more about feelings than I used to know, but sometimes I still make mistakes and I'm sorry for bringing up sad memories. I know how it is to leave somebody behind,' Alma added, completely breaking the similarity with the sadness in his tone.
Allen, who wanted to say that it really wasn't a problem and that Alma should not worry, paused. Who could have been the person whom Alma had left behind? After all, from what Lavi said, Alma and Kanda didn't have parents or family and they had come together to the headquarters.
'Have you met Kaori?' Alma asked quietly, as though reading his mind. He sighed when Allen replied positive. 'She had just woken up when me and Yuu were ready to leave,' he said. Allen blinked, trying to make sense out of the phrase for a moment. 'We had to leave her behind, but Doctor Edgar said that she and Jirou would be joining us as soon as they synchronise with their Innocence.'
'Why are you telling me this?' Allen asked quietly, barely whispering. He knew that the boy named "Jirou" had never made it, so it was obvious where Alma was going with this: he shouldn't have left because then Kaori wouldn't have been alone. He could see that the topic bothered Alma, even though the other shrugged in reply.
'I'm not sure. I guess I'd like you to forgive me for that comment. Or maybe I'm wondering if I have made a mistake following my orders?' Alma asked back with another shrug. 'Back then I made a decision to protect something precious though and I cannot make myself regret that decision either, so maybe life is just cruel that way.'
Allen sighed. It didn't take a genius to realise what was the precious thing Alma had chosen to protect, but Allen had made no such decision, had he? Could he have not gone to the Black Order? Maybe he could have gone with Road to wherever she was going, but he had a self-appointed mission to purge the world of demons and the only way to do it efficiently was to join the Black Order. Was that his precious thing he had chosen to fight for? It wasn't what he thought it would be, the Order. The building sure was imposing, but inside it was filled with welcoming people, with people he knew he would soon call friends. He hadn't expected half of the Exorcists to be barely older than himself, he hadn't expected them to be so much like normal people. He winced, because he hadn't expected them to be quite as inhuman as Kaori either, so was it just him who was confused?
'I guess life is just cruel that way,' he muttered.
Merry Christmas to you all and remember: reviews are the best gifts ever ;) (if I get enough I might find time to make another update this year, hehe)