Chapter 4: Oncoming Traffic

Victor's nails dug into the steering wheel, his fangs baring themselves to the windshield of his SUV. He couldn't take much more of this madness, especially since he hadn't gotten any sleep thanks to Jimmy's little tantrum. If he heard one more thing out of the backseat, he was going to pull over and so help him…

"Ow! You bit me! You little shit in midget skin, stop stealing all the peanut butter crackers! Eat the cheese ones. They taste like ass."

"Grrr."

"Now the cheese wiz is yours too?! That came out of sweaty ass shorts, just so you know. I was keeping it butt temperature for perfect mouth consumption. Get you own ass cheese … like those crackers."

There was some more rocking in the back seat, what sounded like kicks and punches, grunts coming from both of them. Victor's eye twitched, madness threatening to completely consume him. He couldn't take much more of … whatever the fuck this was.

"Did you just bite me! You little savage turd blossom. I hope you choke on that ass cheese!"

The girl growled in turn, her mouth obviously full since it was muffled, and then there was more fighting in the backseat and then a shhhnk noise filled the car, likely Laura drawing her claws, and suddenly orange globs of string cheese explode everywhere … including the side of Victor's head and parts of the windshield.

Victor winced and growled as he slowly reached up with clawed hands and tried to wipe the ass cheese off of his face. Oh, that was it! That was it!

"Children!" roared Victor into the back seat, nearly causing an accident as he turned back and tried to swipe at the two mutants. "I will stop this vehicle and maim both of you if you don't fucking stop it!"

Wade, turned around like a pretzel as cheese and various other foodstuffs dipped off at him, looked at Laura who currently had a foot in the older man's gut and teeth in one of his legs. "Well, you heard the man. You don't want him to break out the BDSM equipment to beat us, now do you?"

Laura looked confused, giving Victor almost a puppy dog pout. Victor went red, disgusted and almost enraged enough to jump in the back seat and kill Wade once or twice before they crashed. Instead, he focused on getting as far away from the Logan doppelganger as they currently could.

He pointed his clawed finger at Wade and in a tone that sent most armored men running, growled, "Any more filth out of your mouth with the pup around and I'll rip your tongue out."

He then glared down at Laura, "And you, pup, should eat some real food. There is some goddamn real food in the bag. Eat some."

Laura, releasing her teeth from Wade's leg, surprisingly pouted like a normal child for once as she flopped back into her seat. For a blessed sixty seconds, there was silence. Victor almost sighed in relief until Wade's irritating voice dragged him back to reality kicking and screaming, "Daddy, why did you hit mommy and why is he unconscious and tied up in the back seat? Are we getting a new feral mommy."

Wade, of course, was commenting about the bound and drugged Jimmy in the back.

Victor growled and resisted the urge to cross the median and end it all by hitting oncoming traffic. Instead, he looked into the rearview mirror, right at Laura, and said, "Brat … I want to you to stab him right in the thigh."

He was almost proud of her when she did as he asked … despite all the blood and ass cheese that ended up on the floorboards.

XXX

Paw07: This chapter wasn't even supposed to exist, but then I imagined Wade on a road trip and couldn't stop myself. XD