Disclaimer: Star Trek Voyager or anything related to it is not my property and I'm making no money from it. Unfortunately.
A.N. Thanks to everyone who has sent me reviews and encouragement! I'm really sorry for the delay. I have no excuse (actually, I have plenty, but it would take a while to write them all down). Perhaps this chapter will help you forgive me? Enjoy!
Chapter Four
The next day was mostly taken up with ferrying people to and from sickbay for the second phase of their treatment. Thanks to Doctor Ravoc, the Doctor had modified his treatment plan so that most people would remember a great deal more by the following day. His main worry was that the crew would struggle with which memories were theirs and which were implanted. They would need the support of those few crewmembers who had regained their memories.
When Chakotay entered the mess hall that evening it was bustling with people in a way that was uncommon. Most people, if they had enough replicator rations, would prepare their own meal rather than face whatever concoction Neelix had mixed up. Tonight, however, it seemed that whatever Neelix was serving was actually palatable... or everyone had forgotten the rather extreme flavours of what Neelix defined as food along with the rest of their lives.
He stood still for a moment, taking in the expressions on different crewmembers faces with some amusement. They seemed to be a mixture between disgust, horror and a little bit of fear. Deciding that he shouldn't leave the rest of the crew to suffer, he accepted a plate of Leola Root Stew (vowing that he would replicate himself some edible food later) and gazed around. After a minute he would have been willing to put money on the fact that the expressions of discomfort weren't entirely due to Neelix's stew. Conversation seemed stilted and awkward even between those who had been friends for years.
Finally, he made a decision. He took his tray and found a seat at the most crowded table at the back of the mess hall, a friendly smile firmly implanted on his face.
About an hour later, as people started to leave the mess hall, Chakotay began to look around at those who were left. One particular table, just across from where he had taken his place, was occupied by three people and a kadis-kot board. Icheb, who had recovered some of his memory, though not so as much as Seven had, due to his cortical node being removed, was sitting at one side, eyes darting across the kadis-kot board. On the other, were Seven and Naomi Wildman. Naomi had regained the majority of her memories, like Icheb, due to her young age, the Doctor had hypothesised. However she was having trouble discerning which memories were real and which had been implanted and it had left her unsure of who she really knew. This sudden distrust had manifested itself earlier in the day when she had run screaming from Harry Kim, who had done nothing more than say hello to the little girl.
It seemed, however, that Naomi was as happy spending time with Seven as she had been before the incident on Quarra. Chakotay wasn't surprised, to be honest. There had been more than one occasion that Chakotay had gone to Astrometrics for a report, only to find Naomi sitting on the elevated platform under the screen, legs swinging, perfectly happy in the company of the former Borg. Not only that, but the young girl seemed to have a hold over Seven which brought out the woman's softer, more playful side.
As Chakotay glanced around at the mess hall's other occupants, he found his eyes being drawn back to the game of kadis-kot. Icheb was playing with the red pieces whilst Naomi, with Seven's assistance, was playing with the green. The game seemed quite close, with Seven offering more encouragement than advice. When it seemed the game may be drawing to a close, Naomi bent forward to study the board in more detail, searching for a final move. When her forehead creased in concentration, making the small horns move closer together, Seven also leaned forward and murmured something in the young girls ear. Naomi looked confused for a second, then her eyes suddenly lit up as her hand darted forward, moving the green chip into the winning position.
He could hear the delighted cry of, "Kadis-Kot!" quite clearly from his table. Icheb let out a groan and shot a glare at Seven-of-Nine, but it was softened by the small grin playing on the young man's lips. Chakotay doubted Seven even noticed, however, as Naomi had jumped up to hug her enthusiastically. Seven returned the hug, slightly awkwardly, but warmly all the same. When Naomi moved away, Chakotay could see the smile gracing the normally sober woman's lips.
It wasn't until he had cleared away his tray and had left the mess hall that he realised that he, too, was smiling.
For the next few days the crew was practically on shore leave. Nevertheless, there were still the basic matters that arose when one was running a starship that had to be attended to. When the Doctor was almost ready to release Captain Janeway and allow her to resume her command, she suggested to Chakotay that a quiet dinner might be an appropriate setting for him to catch her up on all Voyager's events since, what was now being called, The Quarra Affair.
Chakotay readily accepted, though he braced himself for some truly atrocious cooking. He was more than happy to hand over the running of Voyager to Janeway. While he had been perfectly happy being the captain of a small ship whilst he was part of the Maquis, being in command of Voyager left him in a perpetual state of paranoia. He was always sure something was about to go wrong, which, to be fair, it generally did.
So, like the dutifully First Officer he was, he chewed at the burnt mince and almost raw potatoes of the Shepherd's Pie Captain Janeway had placed in front of him and washed as much as he could, which really wasn't very much, down with a glass of cider as they chatted about the events of the past few days. It wasn't the first time they had a casual working dinner together, and he doubted it would be the last. But this time the conversation seemed stilted and forced. Unwilling to bring up the contentious subject that he knew was the cause, Chakotay simply waited patiently, willing that eventually it would have to be discussed.
He was correct.
"I want you to know," Kathryn began, after another minute of awkward silence, "that I'm going to say in my log that you deserve a commendation for what you did." She had been focusing on a stray pea on her plate, chasing it idly with her fork. Now she looked up and met his eyes, "If you hadn't come down there after us, even though you knew we wouldn't recognise you or believe you, we'd all still be down there, never knowing what was up here waiting for us."
"You don't have to do that," Chakotay felt the need to counter. "I didn't do much, to be honest." Except get caught, he added to himself, not thinking it prudent to say aloud. "If Tuvok hadn't suspected something was wrong and Seven hadn't taken it upon herself to investigate, anything I did wouldn't have mattered." He knew it was the truth when he added, "It's them who deserve your commendation, especially Seven."
Janeway smiled ruefully, "Yes, Detective Yerid was singing her praises when I spoke to him earlier. If we're not careful he may convince young Doctor Ravoc to brainwash her again so that she'll want to stay on Quarra and become a detective," she joked.
Chakotay laughed weakly as what he had managed to consume of the Shepherd's Pie rolled in his stomach. He wouldn't be surprised either.
"Nevertheless," Janeway turned serious again, "you deserve to be applauded for your efforts on Quarra," she stated firmly. "And I want to thank you for everything you did, too."
Chakotay smiled and graciously accepted her thanks before rolling off a line about someone having to show the Doctor who was boss. Eventually he was able to excuse himself and leave. He knew that Captain Janeway's offer of commendation was as close to an apology as he was going to get.
It wasn't that he didn't understand why she had reported him to Detective Yerid. She had reason to suspect that he was a dangerous criminal and even a brainwashed Kathryn Janeway would always try to uphold the law of the land. But the lack of trust bothered him, as did the fact that he was never really sure where he stood with her.
He was reminded of 'the old days' on Voyager, when Janeway had concocted a plan, together with Tom Paris, without his knowledge, that had eventually resulted in learning the identity of a crewmember who was acting as a Kazon spy. He was forced to admit that the ruse had been brilliantly played out, Paris acting out the part of the dissatisfied and disobedient crewmember flawlessly, but after spending almost two full years as First Officer of Voyager, at the time Chakotay had felt deceived. He had wondered if there would ever be any level of real trust between Captain and Commander, or if it, too, was all an act. He yearned for honesty.
Wearily he entered his quarters and stripped off his clothes, preparing to sleep although he knew it would prove to be elusive. He lay back on the bed and draped an arm across his forehead and eyes. In the dark of his cabin he silently wished for something simpler than relations between the senior staff to distract him. An attack by a Hirogen hunting party, perhaps?
A.N. I'm not exactly happy with the way this chapter went but I needed to display the complete lack of relationship between Chakotay and Janeway somehow and this seemed the best way to do it.
Anyway, good news! Next chapter has already been started and includes C7! Proper C7! Let me know what you think!
~Sweetdeath04