The Curious Moves

by Genis Aurion

THE EDITED VERSION. In which Stan becomes jealous of Kenny’s bold advances.

4. It's just another arcade game

4: It's just another arcade game

"…Don't think you can keep me from entering for very long… I have excellent sea men waiting to penetrate your defenses… should you refuse us entry we'll come at you with incredible speed… no, no, don't even bother pulling out any protection… my sea men always reach their intended target… they'll squeeze through any opening they—"

"IKE!" Kyle yelled suddenly, stopping the poor boy in mid-sentence. "Ike, please play your game of World War II somewhere else."

"World War I!" Ike corrected, shaking his head.

"Same difference. Besides, Stan and I are trying to do a project, and it's hard enough with all the noise you're making, regardless of which war you're reenacting." With a defeated sigh Ike began putting the figurines and toy battleships into his container, and though there were better things to do for some reason Stan and Kyle found themselves watching the boy instead.

"Isn't he too old for this kind of stuff?" Stan asked, frowning at the sight. "Ever since he was like four, this is the only thing I remember him doing."

"Mom tells him the same thing," Kyle replied, and immediately he began a rather accurate imitation of his mother. Stan laughed at this, though the two received a somewhat foul glance from Ike on the floor. "He's a really smart kid—too smart, in fact—it's just that he's still a…."

"Kid at heart?" suggested Stan, and Kyle nodded.

"Yeah, that. Anyway, about this project—"

"—what about it?" asked Stan.

"We should try finishing it up in like an hour or so," Kyle concluded, clearing his throat. "Kenny's coming over later, and I doubt we'll be able to get much done with him around."

"Kenny's coming?" asked a surprised Ike from the floor. Stan really didn't know why Ike would be mildly interested about the idea, but he presumed it wasn't the same reason his brother had. "Why's he coming? Does mom know?"

"Of course she knows," Kyle replied matter-of-factly. "And if it really concerns you, he's staying at our place for the entire weekend. His parents kicked him out for… reasons he didn't share with me." Judging by his friend's reaction Stan almost knew that Kyle had lied about the last part, but he'd keep his mouth shut in front of Ike. Granted that it had been a week since his awkward conversation with Kyle, Stan hadn't felt the same around their blonde friend.

It was much easier to be around someone who was clueless about his feelings, Stan had argued, than someone who already held suspicions.

"The whole weekend?" asked Ike, picking up his container of toys. For a second Stan could've sworn he'd seen a dangerous glint in Ike's eye, but he disregarded it as merely being the light. "Anyway, I'll leave you to your project, then."

"Thanks. Go get those Americans, then!" and with that Ike left the room. Kyle turned to Stan, mouth open as if ready to ask him something, but he stopped in mid-sentence after seeing his puzzled face. "Ike likes playing the Germans," the Jewish boy explained.

"Ah, I see," Stan replied, nodding. However, not long afterward, he frowned. "Why?"

"Beats me," Kyle said, shrugging. "Mom goes ballistic at the idea, especially whenever he reenacts the Holocaust. I think it's because he wasn't born Jewish, so he really doesn't care whether something goes against his religion… or something like that."

"Then again," Stan added, poking his friend in the side. "There're a lot of other people I know who disregard their religion as well… Mr. I'm-Kosher-but-not."

"And what exactly is that supposed to mean?" asked Kyle, waving his finger threateningly. With the same finger he poked Stan sharply in the side, and the boy jumped in spot. "Anyway, getting to work…."

"Yeah, I s'pose." The two remained silent for the next however-many-minutes-it-actually-was, working hard on their project. Occasionally they would talk, but if they did it would only be to collaborate on ideas. Quite frankly the two preferred the silence, as they seemed to work best in it.

It was no surprise, then, that when the two finished they let out one giant sigh, in unison, and both collapsing on the bed. "'bout time," said Stan, smiling. "So where's Kenny?"

"Couldn't tell you," Kyle said, shrugging as he turned to his watch. "He said he'd be around by seven or so… it's six-fifty, now."

"Good deal," said Stan. Then, after a few more minutes, Stan continued. "Hey, later, when Kenny gets here, you wanna go to the arcade? We can catch some sort of dinner while we're out, too."

"I… I'm not sure, dude. I don't think Kenny would really want to—"

"Sure he will," Stan interjected. "He's into that sort of thing, isn't he? Besides, you guys can think of it as a date."

"A… date?" Kyle stuttered.

Stan nodded. "Yeah, a date… the two of you need one of those, anyway." He nudged Kyle in the side. "Come on, Kyle, give it a try."

"I guess, then," Kyle said. "But why are you so enthusiastic about this idea, anyway? Won't you feel left out or something… like, dunno, a third wheel?"

Stan smirked, shaking his head as he reached into his back pocket. "No," he said, revealing to Kyle the objects in his hand. "I've got spare tokens to use up. Now get in the car."

XX

Kenny hadn't even stepped foot into Kyle's house when the boy had pulled him into a kiss, one much deeper than he and Stan had previously planned. Stan watched from his car, surprised that Kenny hadn't even seen him in it when he passed, but witnessing the scene from where he was proved excruciating. After all, watching the person he liked passionately kiss one of his friends wasn't exactly something he liked doing, yet nevertheless….

In accordance to their plan, Kyle pressed the blonde against the brick wall of the house, leaning into the boy's ear to whisper something—or so Stan hoped. For all he knew he was tongue-fucking his boyfriend—yes, tongue-fucking—or maybe even . . . . Though, thought Stan, Kyle wasn't exactly one to initiate such actions, especially after dating Kenny for only a week so far.

Eventually, as Stan noted from his position in his car, Kenny nodded at whatever Kyle had said, and before long the two boys were making their way to Stan's car. With a push of the button the doors unlocked, and, though Stan hadn't been surprised, the both of them had seated themselves in the backseat.

"A few simple rules," Stan said with a clear voice, smiling at the both of them from the rearview mirror.

1 – Cuddling is permitted, but no groping.
2 – Very minimal kissing.
3 – No making out.
4 – Limit the usage of innuendos.
5 – No hand jobs, blow jobs, or any jobs—except the one that involves cleaning Stan's car's floor.

…and that had only been the beginning.

"We get the idea, Stan." Kenny said, smirking. "Just drive and gimme the bag of candy, already."

"Candy?" Stan asked, turning to the reflection of Kyle in his mirror.

Kyle sighed, and then laughed. "He wouldn't come immediately—"

"Why would I?—it ruins the moment!"

Kyle continued as if never interrupted. "—so I told him. Just get in the car, damnit! He's got candy! Turns out, it actually worked." Kyle laughed at the thought, but smiled sheepishly at the expression he saw through the mirror. "Guess you're gonna hafta get Kenny a present at the arcade, now."

"No shit," Stan said, rolling his eyes. He reached for the keys to start the car, and with a rumble it started. "You guys wanna head over to McDonalds or something, first? You know, to eat and stuff?"

"Sounds good," said Kyle. "There's one a bit outside town. That new one."

"The one with the Play Place?" Kenny asked, perhaps a bit too excitedly.

Kyle nodded. "You're a bit too happy about that though, aren't you?"

"I've been happier," Kenny replied, winking. "You know, that one night when you—"

"Rule number four!" exclaimed Stan, and as they pulled away from Kyle's house the car grew quiet. Sad to say that for Kenny, talking without innuendos wasn't exactly a mere walk in the park. "Okay, fine… I guess I could let the innuendos slide."

Kenny cheered with much enthusiasm, Stan rolling his eyes as he turned the steering wheel. "I think I'll have a McChicken or something."

"Aw, not again," said Kyle, frowning. "You purposely get some of the mayonnaise on your mouth…."

Kenny nodded.

"…and then you purposely suck your drink to death…."

Kenny nodded.

"And then—"

"—I don't wanna know," said Stan, perhaps a bit loudly. "Geez, Kyle, when'd you become Kenny's assistant in perverse jokes?"

"Influence?" suggested Kyle, laughing as he leaned somewhat against the blonde. "Anyway, for your sake, I'll make sure he doesn't do any of that."

Stan gave his thanks and went back to driving, and though he had stopped the use of his mouth that hadn't held true with ears. Indeed, as he pulled into the parking lot of McDonalds, he could just barely make out something Kenny had said, enough for him to frown at the thought.

"Why'd we have to bring him, anyway?"

Because he was their chauffeur. Because he secretly wanted Kyle to be his. Something along those lines.

"I can order for all you guys," Kyle said, placing on his hat—ushanka—as they stepped out of the car. "Just tell me what you guys want."

"You already know mine," said Kenny. "But are you sure? I can come with you, if you want."

Kyle snorted. "As if you had to ask. But no, I'm fine. Go get a table with Stan or something."

"But…." Kenny searched Kyle's face incredulously, as if expecting to see some sort of hint hidden in his face; but when he saw none he gave a defeated sigh. Then, with a quick glance at Stan, Kenny smiled. "Sure then. There's something I have to ask Stan about."

"Oh?" Kyle asked, surprised; but he ignored this and turned to Stan. "You want anything?"

"Just get me fries or something," Stan said, waving his hand. "I'm not that hungry." Kyle nodded, and as he entered the building he stepped into the already lengthy line. Stan watched from the door; he watched Kyle tap his foot, scratch his head, hum to himself—and the view was rather nice, too.

"Excuse me, sir," said an old man, and Stan stepped away from the door, embarrassed.

Kenny smirked from where he was at. "Stan… let's talk." The sentence to Stan wasn't exactly the most… pleasant… of tones, but as they entered the Play Place that tone changed quite suddenly. "Want some balls?"

"What?"

"Those balls over there," said Kenny, pointing to the ball pit. "No, I mean you. Want some balls?—like, to tell Kyle a particularly important something."

"I don't know what you're talking about!" stammered Stan, but deep down inside he knew exactly what Kenny was referring to. He knew Kenny knew; ever since Kenny and Kyle had gotten together he had always wondered what the blonde would do with what he knew, and apparently now Stan knew exactly what Kenny had in mind.

"I'm sure you do," said Kenny, poking Stan sharply in his side. "You're—hmm, how should I put this?—gay for Kyle. You know you want to admit it." Kenny raised his eyebrows suggestively, causing Stan's face to contort. "Just admit it…."

"Fine, I am," muttered Stan, looking away. "No use denying something I already know you know." Kenny smirked, placing his arm around the other boy and guiding him around the play area.

"Don't you think you should tell him?" the blonde asked, looking at Stan. "Of course, he'll probably reject, seeing as he's with me… unless he takes you and leaves me to bite the dust."

Stan frowned. "Why are you encouraging me if you'll know there's a good chance I'll fail? Sounds like a bad friend, to me." Kenny shrugged, looking toward a particular kid taking the plunge down one of the slides. "Why would you encourage me knowing you could lose your boyfriend?"

"Because I'm your friend," said Kenny, a smile on his face. Then, turning to Stan, he continued. "And friends don't just see their friends suffer and let it pass." So that was what it was all about. Stan knew Kenny could tell Stan liked his best friend, but until now Stan had thought that Kenny was saving the piece of information for blackmail purposes, but…. "Even if it doesn't work out, there are many other balls in the sea waiting for you." He points to the ball pit once more.

"Why now?" asked Stan, frowning and ignoring Kenny's references. "If you've known all this time… why now? Huh, why now?" His tone grew increasingly louder as he continued, Kenny retreating slightly at the anger now present in Stan's voice. "If you knew I liked him, that I was suffering from it, why'd you go date him?"

"I…I don't know. He asked me, dude. And you know me… I'd never pass up on free loving." Kenny laughed, but the expression on Stan's face told him now wasn't exactly the time to be fooling around. After a few seconds, jokes aside, Kenny placed a comforting hand on Stan's shoulder. "I love Kyle, I really do. I just think you can do better." Stan's eyes grew wide at the hearing of this, and even as he nodded in appreciation he could barely speak. Nodding would do, and Kenny understood.

"Go get him, tiger," Kenny whispered softly, giving his friend a tight hug before opening the door back to the McDonalds restaurant. And seeing Kyle smile at the both of them, still in line, Stan couldn't help but feel much better as he followed the blonde to a table. But despite his newfound happiness, there was still one thing bothering him….

Didn't Kyle say Kenny had been the one to ask him?

XX

Stan watched with open eyes as Kenny placed the slender object into his mouth. Wrapping his tongue around the tip, the blonde made sure to lap up as much of the white substance as he could; and then, once he couldn't collect any more with his tongue, he began to suck on it, as if expecting to extract more taste in doing so.

After he was done, Kyle tilted his head back in satisfaction. "Wow, that was great," he said, smiling. "Thanks, guys."

"Thanks?" Kenny asked curiously. "No, thank you, Kyle… that was an excellent meal."

Kyle turned red as Stan's eyes remained wide-eyed. "Why do you do that?" Stan asked, pointing at the food in front of Kenny." Yeah, that. Why do you eat your fries with mayonnaise?"

"Because it tastes good," the blonde explained. "You know, among other—"

"How the heck did you get mayonnaise anyway?" Stan interjected, not wanting to hear the rest of his sentence. "Do they even serve that?"

Kenny shrugged. "I dunno. I just asked for mayonnaise and they gave it to me." He smiled sheepishly, turning to Kyle. "Thanks for paying for me," he whispered, somewhat embarrassed.

"Nah, don't worry about it," Kyle said, scratching the back of my head. Amongst them occurred a silence, and although the air between them wasn't tense none of the three boys could think of something to say. "Anyway… what were you guys doing earlier?"

"Hm?" asked Stan, snapping himself back to reality. In truth, he had been starting at Kyle—not at his face, but in his direction—for the length of silence they had had. Stan chuckled nervously in an attempt to hide his blunder, and though Kyle seemed to not notice, the same didn't apply with Kenny. "Do what when?"

"Just now, when I was getting the food…." He nudged his head toward the lines of people waiting to order. "Why were you guys in the playground thingy?"

"The Play Place?"

"Yeah, that." There was a moment of silence as Stan and Kenny exchanged glances, but the act didn't pass off too well with the Jewish boy. "Oh no, don't tell me…."

"Nah, we didn't molest or harass any kids." Kenny smiled. "Although Stan almost threw up…."

"What?" Stan exclaimed. "What, no I didn't! I haven't done that since elementary school!"

"Anyway," continued Kenny. "We only went there because Stan was asking me if I was afraid of heights and dared me to go on the tallest slide." At that point Stan would've contested yet again, but a swift stomp of Kenny's foot and Stan knew not to argue.

Kyle shrugged. "I guess… as long as you didn't poison any kids with your perverseness."

"What's so bad about that?" Kenny asked, whispering something into Kyle's ear. From his end of the table Stan watched as the two smiled, laughed, and spoke words he for some reason couldn't quite hear clearly….

It seemed they were talking to him, too….

"Stan!" Kyle exclaimed, and Stan suddenly awoke from his somewhat trance. "Dude, you're spacing out a lot lately…. You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, fine…. You guys wanna get going, then?"

XX

The ride to the arcade was a lot less lively than their ride to McDonalds. Stan wasn't exactly sure why this was the case, though he didn't mind since the two were still following the rules he had set for his car. Besides, the ride wasn't too long, and the silence wouldn't prove to be too boring….

And then, they were there.

"We're here," Stan announced as they walked through the silver doors to the arcade, and indeed they were there. It was a decently-sized building—for a mountain town, at least—but it was still large enough to house many of the arcade games other places would have as well.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious," Kyle said with a laugh, Kenny rolling his eyes. "Anyway, we need tokens."

"I'll go get some," offered Kenny, but Stan raised a hand.

"Don't worry about it," said Stan, reaching into his pockets. "Here, take what I have now. I'll go buy some for the three of us." He poured a dozen tokens into Kenny's hand, accidentally dropping a couple. "Besides, I don't want you spending money for arcades… don't take it the wrong way or anything."

"'course not," muttered Kenny, but as Stan turned his back Kenny made a sighing boy, stuffing his hands into his empty pockets. Stan gave one smile at Kyle before heading toward the familiar machine, inserting a few coins into it as he pressed a button.

"I've always wondered how many tokens Token's worth," Stan said to himself, giving a laugh as he pocketed his newly acquired tokens.

"Stan…?" For a split second Stan thought it was Token, and in that instant Stan feared the boy might've heard his comment. However his heart felt at ease upon seeing the face of Butters Stotch instead. "Oh, hey, Butters."

"H-hello, Stan," stuttered the blonde. "Stan, can I ask ya somethin'?" And of course, being that Stan still had to exchange coins for tokens, Stan took to listening to the boy. "…she's really pretty," Butters stammered, "and I dunno how to make a good impression—"

"—take her on a date?" Stan suggested. "Though, from elementary school, I doubt she'd go out with you."

"I'm on a date with her now," said Butters.

Stan stared at him, wide-eyed. "…and where's she now?"

"R-restroom." Butters gave his hands a meaningful and nervous rub. "Stan, I-I need your help. The only advice dad gave me was to protect myself before entering the cave, but I ain't going to no stinkin' cave!" At this Stan gave a restrained snort, but Butters assumed it to be a mere cough.

After calming down Stan addressed Butters. "Okay, I'll help you. But I gotta give these tokens to Kenny first." With understanding Butters nodded, accompanying Stan as he returned to Kyle and Kenny. Incidentally the two were at a Hoops game, Kyle's score much higher than Kenny's.

"…goddamnit, why can't I get any?"

"Hey, dude?" Kenny paused to look at Stan. "Here're your tokens. I'm gonna help Butters with his date with Lexus."

Kenny looked at Stan blankly. "You?" He placed the ball in Stan's still open hands. "No offense, but I think I should be the one helping Butters."

"Really?" Butters asked, stammering as he always did. "Aw, gee, thanks!"

"What's going on?" asked Kyle, but he went back to shooting balls instead of waiting for an answer. Stan looked from Kenny to the ball and back, frowning as he shrugged.

"If I can't Butter up a Lexus, no one can!"
A pause. "Kenny, that makes no fuckin' sense!"

"I know," he said cheekily. "Take care of Kyle for me while I'm gone. Finish up my game… you can play with my balls, though they're a bit rubbery—"

"—just go!" Stan yelled. With one last wave Butters led Kenny around the corner, leaving Stan with Kyle.

"What was that all about?" asked Kyle, who had just entered a "bonus round" for having scored a large amount of points.

"Couldn't tell you," Stan said with a shrug. "When you're done with your game, wanna play again?—you versus me, this time?"

"Deal."

XX

Stan had spent the next fifteen minutes in bliss. True, Kyle wasn't exactly his, but it had certainly felt like it. The two laughed like old friends; though they were still friends, the recent tensions had caused them to feel somewhat apart from each other. Yet those tensions disappeared within the moments Stan spent with Kyle at the arcade, and as they hopped from game to game he couldn't have felt happier.

But why had Kenny offered to take Stan's place in aiding Butters with his date? Stan had several theories.

1 – Kenny was being honest when he said he'd do a better job than Stan would at assisting Butters.
2 – Kenny wanted Stan to do something while he was gone.

Though Stan didn't want to believe the latter, he knew that would be the more likely of the two.

And so, after three successful rounds of DDR, Stan resolved to do what Kenny had suggested earlier in McDonalds.

"…Kyle?" The boy did not respond, however, and he merely stuffed his hands into his pockets in search of more tokens. "Kyle?"

"Don't worry, dude, I still got a few more tokens somewhere."

"No, Kyle, listen to me." Kyle stopped, looked at Stan, and frowned. "I need to tell you something."

Kyle bit his lip for a few seconds, glancing around, before answering. "Okay, cool."

Stan stared; okay, cool? What that was supposed to mean, Stan had no idea…. "Cool?"

"Sure, dude." Kyle gave a shrug. "So you have something to tell me, or…?"

"No, I really do…." Stan gulped. How would Stan go about telling Kyle? A direct approach surely wouldn't do—"Hey, Kyle, I just wanna tell you that I've got a gigantic stiffy for you and I love you more than your current perverted boyfriend and he gave me permission to steal you from him so I can bone you whenever the hell I want… and did I say I love you?"

…did that even make sense?—Stan could barely tell.

"Anything?" Stan turned to Kyle, who evidently found his lack of a question to be quite entertaining. "If not I'm gonna go find Kenny and see what he's up to."

"No, wait!" Stan pleaded, and as Kyle turned around Stan realized how pathetic he had just sounded… though at this point he really didn't care. "I wanna tell you this while Kenny's not here…."

"Oh?" Kyle raised an eyebrow as Stan struggled for words. "Why?"

"It's just… it's something he wouldn't understand." Of course Stan had been lying, but he wouldn't let Kyle know that…. "You promise you won't tell him?"

"Of course," said Kyle, a little impatience in his voice. "Just say it already, dude." Green eyes met blue briefly as Kyle tried to search his friend, perhaps to find a reason behind his friend's hesitance, but Stan quickly broke eye contact as he began to speak.

"Kyle, I—" but he never got to finish.

"GUYS MISS ME?" roared Kenny's voice from across the arcade, shocking Stan so much he jumped on spot. Kyle waved energetically at the boy and gave him a welcoming hug as he approached. "What'd I miss?"

"Nothing," Stan replied, turning red as he looked to the floor. "Just… nothing." Kenny looked at Stan, smiling even, and as he placed an arm around Kyle he pointed his head over to a few games.

"You still have tokens?" Kenny asked, turning to Kyle. "There're a few good racing games down there, and I know how well you are with sticks…." Kyle gave Kenny a little push, and as the two made their way over Kenny turned to Stan, beckoning him to come.

"Wanna race?" Kyle asked, pointing over to the machine behind his own; but Kenny shook his head.

"I'll just watch, for now." Kyle shrugged, dismissing it as nothing more but a personal choice.

But of course, it was much more than that. "I interrupted at a bad time, didn't I?"

"Yeah," Stan answered, rubbing his head.

"Sorry."

"Don't be. Not like you could've done anything." Stan smiled at Kenny, but the blonde boy's face remained apologetic. "How'd Butters's date go?"

"Horribly," Kenny said with a frown. "Ever watch 'Hitch'?"

"Yeah."

"Like that." And with that Stan nodded understandingly. At that moment Kyle had called to Kenny, asking what he and Stan were talking about, but Kenny had only assured him it was about Kyle's performance in his race. "Stan."

"Yeah?"

Kenny cleared his throat. "What you're trying to do… well, it's just another arcade game." Stan looked taken aback, and Kenny continued at the sight of Stan's confused gaze. "The goal's to beat the game, right…? Once you tell him you've beaten the game. But every time you miss an opportunity you gotta put more tokens in and try again."

For a second Stan stared at him, not even hearing Kyle's defeated sigh, nor the sounds of him arising from his seat. With one collected breath, watching Kyle lean on Kenny's shoulder, Stan managed one single sentence: "Kenny, that doesn't make any fuckin' sense!"

And Kenny, smiling, only had one response for him, a response that had Stan staring with bewilderment for minutes after their absence.

"I know."

XX

Stan watched it all from his rear-view mirror. He watched Kenny become fascinated with the object in Kyle's lap. He watched as a wide-eyed Kenny reached out a hand, touching the object with his careful fingers, wrapping them so delicately around its neck. Stan stuttered, perhaps in an attempt to remind the blonde of his car rules; but he chose against it, taking more precaution to the road he had been neglecting.

Still, he knew the boy was continuing. "It's so long!" Kenny exclaimed; "and it's not even very hard!"

Kyle gave a chuckle. "I regret to inform you, Kenny McKormick, that it's very difficult to make this object hard, unless subjected to certain situations…."

"I'm sure I could figure out a way," said Kenny smirking, squeezing the object. "'course, it'd involve—"

"Kenny!" Stan exclaimed, coming to a halt in front of Kyle's house. "Seriously, dude!—what'd I say about innuendos?" With a twist of a key the engine shuts off, three boys climbing out of the car shortly afterward. "Just because you won a plush giraffe for Kyle…."

"I like it though," Kyle said with a smile, "even if it's a bit… random."

"It reminds me of you though," Kenny said with a smirk, ignoring Kyle's frowning face. "Reminds me of how long you are…."

Stan shook his head as Kyle scoffed. "So thinking of giraffes makes you hot?"

Kenny affirmed the statement. "Horny, too." Kyle laughed as he searched in the dark for his key, Kenny standing somewhat close to him. Stan stood several feet back, making motions suggesting his leave; but every time he'd turn around to do so he'd end up right back to where he started.

"I think… I should be getting home now," said Stan, fiddling with his car keys.

"You don't wanna stay over for a bit?" Kyle asked, frowning. "It's Friday night—Saturday morning, if you're as technical as Ike. You can even sleep over if you want."

"No thanks," said Stan. "I'm—"

"Sleep over!" Kenny said enthusiastically. However, as Stan glanced at Kenny, he couldn't help but to notice a small glint in the boy's eye, almost suggesting….

"Fine," Stan said with a defeated sigh, and Kenny gave him something along the lines of a congratulatory handshake. At that moment Kyle managed to open the door, and he allowed his two guests to step through before himself. It was dark, as they had expected it to be—but they were not alone.

"Ike!" Kyle scolded his brother in a hushed whisper. "Ike, what're you doing up still? You should've been in bed hours ago."

Ike looked up from his Calculus book, frowning. "You should've been home hours ago."

"I think he's got you there, dude," remarked Kenny, glancing around. Then, after a few moments, he added: "Where can I set my stuff?"

"Hm?—oh, over there's fine." He pointed to the top of the stairs and Kenny followed. "Ike, go to sleep now. Don't you have to be at the airport early tomorrow?"

"Yeah," his brother replied, "but I barely sleep anyway. Besides, ma said to wait for you to come home… she wasn't very happy, let me tell you." Kyle stifled a laugh, shrugging as he began trudging his way up the stairs. Stan frowned, wondering where Ike might be going off the next day; but instead decided to follow him.

However, as he neared the top of the stairs, he felt a slight tap upon his shoulder, and turning he found the face of Ike once more. "Follow me," Ike mouthed, and Stan understood.

As soon as Stan and Ike were fully inside Ike's room the latter of the two closed the door, turning to Stan. "I know your secret," he said.

Stan blinked. "What?"

"I know your secret," Ike repeated, tapping his foot. Stan only continued to stare at the younger boy. Surely he wasn't talking about…? But then, if he was, how did he figure out so easily…? "Trust me, it wasn't hard to figure out, either."

"What secret?" Stan asked. "Are you sure we're talking about the same thing?"

"The one that involves my brother?—yeah, we're definitely talking about the same thing." Stan sighed nervously, turning to the posters in Ike's room. Suddenly the ACDC poster on his wall seemed quite interesting to him…. "You and my brother… you guys are like twins, really."

"Oh?" asked Stan, raising and eyebrow. "How so?"

"You both hide secrets," Ike said simply. "Not to mention you both do so in a poor manner."

"Kyle has secrets?" Stan asked, and after searching his face Ike realized the boy was being completely honest. Twins as they might've been, the younger boy realized that though they were similar… they weren't the same.

"I thought you would've known that already… but then, that wouldn't have made any sense at all if you did." Ike shook his head confusedly as Stan merely gaped at him, and after a few seconds of this Ike jerked his head back up to meet Stan's eye. "Well, in that case, I should probably just wait for you to figure his secret out yourself."

"Why?" Stan asked, shoving his hands in his pockets. "You can't just tell me?"

"Kyle doesn't realize that I know his secret," Ike said matter-of-factly. "As neither did you, until just now." Ike placed a hand on the doorknob, Stan's gaze returning once more to the ACDC poster.

"So then… why'd you call me here?" The question barely had any courage behind it, yet even without the confidence Stan somehow managed to leave an impression on Ike's face. Seeing Ike's raised eyebrow, Stan continued. "I mean… that's not the only reason you called me into your room, right?"

Ike smiled. "Finally, you're becoming at least a bit observant to what's around you." Ike gave a quieted laugh and then continued. "Actually, based on what I've noticed… you seem to be getting ready to do something… something you're nervous about?"

Stan nodded. "I want to confess to Kyle."

Ike bit his lip, a reaction Stan had somewhat expected. "But he's dating Kenny, isn't he? At least, the way Kenny's got his hands over my brother, I would've thought so."

"Kyle didn't tell you?" Stan asked, and Ike shook his head. Though, now that Stan thought about it, Kyle probably didn't even need to tell him, knowing his brother would've already figured him out…. "Kenny's always like that, though. Molests him, throws innuendos whenever he can…."

"You still didn't understand me," snapped Ike. "You're doing this knowing Kyle's already got a boyfriend?"

"Yeah. Kenny's actually encouraging me to fess up." He laughed, though Ike's wide eyes told him the younger boy didn't feel the same way.

"Stan, don't you think—"

"—that Kenny might be out of his mind by giving me the chance to steal his boyfriend? Sure, I think so. But if Kenny's already given me the opportunity…." From outside the door they could hear Kyle calling for Stan, and Stan wondered if Kyle even took into account that his sleeping parents wouldn't appreciate the yelling…. "That'd be Kyle."

"I know," Ike said. "Anyway, I'm gonna be off to a national mathematics convention tomorrow—"

"—no surprise, there."

"—but I wish you all the best with your… mission." Ike laughed at the word. "Do it soon, though. Something tells me the longer you wait, the longer he's going to… well, never mind."

"Going to what?" Stan asked, begging for the rest of the sentence; but Ike only smiled cheekily at him and pushed him out the door. He bit his lip; Ike knew something he didn't, that damned genius….

"STAN!" and with a laugh Stan turned to the Jewish boy, holding a finger to his mouth. "Sorry, it's just… where've you been?"

Stan hesitated, thinking perhaps if he should tell the truth, but decided against it. "Just looking at Ike's poster… ACDC is a really good band; have you heard of them?"

XX

The three boys fell asleep rather quickly that night (in Ike's technicality, that morning). Stan didn't mind sleeping on the floor, since he was quite used to it from all the sleepovers he had had with Kyle; but Kenny's fake moaning didn't exactly help him or the dreams he would potentially have.

Needless to say, as Stan was just about to go down on Kyle (in his dream, of course), a well-aimed smack across the face (with a pillow) saved Stan from any more embarrassment.

Though still, he had a few moments to deal with still, and as he followed Kyle's bemused glance downward, Stan found himself turning a deep red. "Eh…."

"Everyone gets it, dude… don't worry about it." Kyle gave a childish laugh as he fell over. "You're in a room full of guys! What the hell are you getting a boner for?"

"N—no reason," stammered Stan, but Kyle would not take it.

"Dude, don't tell me Kenny's moans were turning you on?" Kyle cracked up all the more as Stan was forced to remain in his beet-red state. "Hm… I suppose Kenny's moaning might've sounded like Wendy's."

Stan bit his lip; Kyle probably thought Stan was still chasing after Wendy… or maybe even some other girl. Even though he had resolved to confess his feelings for Kyle, Stan figured that perhaps telling Kyle now wasn't the best of choices…. "Dude, I don't like Wendy!"

"Of course you don't," said Kyle, laughing. But soon even that laughter died out, and the two were left in silence.

'Do it now!' something in the back of his mind was telling him, though Stan wasn't paying much attention to the voice. Somehow, no matter what the situation would end up being, Stan had the impression that Kenny would interrupt them when he least wanted him to….

Speaking of which…. "Where's Kenny?"

"He said he was gonna take a long shower and then go eat breakfast," said Kyle, looking as if he were pulling the sentence directly from memory. "He emphasized the "long shower" part, and said something like how you could probably do something important while he was gone."

Stan laughed; Kenny, without a doubt, had inserted that specifically at him. The boy sighed, smiled sheepishly, and turned away. "Something important, huh?"

"Yeah." Kyle sighed. "He probably doesn't get to shower much at his place…. I suppose he has a reason to take a long shower." Stan chuckled, but that died quickly. He felt his heart beating—it was now or never… almost.

Gulping, Stan cleared his throat. "Actually, Kyle, I do have something important to do."

"Oh?" asked Kyle, but his expression quickly changed. "Okay, dude. Go at it; I won't stop you."

"Well, yeah, see… it kinda involves you…." Stan rubbed his head as Kyle heaved a sigh. "I mean, if that's—"

"—nah, dude, I get you." And with wide eyes Stan stared at his friend. "This is the thing you wanted to tell me yesterday, isn't it?" Stan could barely manage a nod. "Thought so. Okay then, dude. Spill."

"Spill…?" echoed Stan, though he had more than clearly heard him the first time. Yet even as Kyle affirmed his sentence, encouraging him to continue, too many things were running through Stan's mind:

1 – It wasn't the way Stan had imagined it to be; he had expected there to be tension, and though there indeed was some, it was almost as if Kyle already knew what Stan had to say, as if he was just waiting for Stan to get it over with already….
2 – The discrepancy between Kyle's story and Kenny's story, and how Kyle had lied… though, now that Stan thought about it, maybe Kenny had been the one who lied…. After all, there wasn't anything solid about who told the truth—only that they contradicted each other, and one of them had to be wrong.
3 – The incident with Ike the night before, how Ike had figured out one of Kyle's secrets… one that involved him, evidently, or else Ike wouldn't have pulled Stan aside….

Bracing his head, raising both hands to support the flow of thoughts swimming aimlessly in his mind, Stan found himself unable to concentrate any longer; he found his mouth opening, but he struggled for what to say.

"W—why… why did you lie to me?"

And then, silence. Stan had closed his mouth immediately; he hadn't meant to say that when he had first started. Hell, Stan was supposed to tell Kyle something, not ask him something (which was probably irrelevant to begin with)! But, as Stan turned away (there was no ACDC poster to turn to his time), he knew he couldn't un-ask the question.

Inside Stan cursed at himself.

"Lie…?" Kyle echoed, looking at Stan's face—or at least, as much as Stan would show him. "Lie? About what?"

"About… you said… you said Kenny asked you out?"

"He did," answered Kyle, but worry grew on his face."

"That's the thing," Stan said, biting his lip. "Kenny said you—" and even though the two were interrupted Kyle knew what Stan had been about to say. Still, as the two caught glances for even the slightest second Kyle's face showed no recognition, only causing Stan to curse at both himself and their unexpected visitor.

"Breakfast is ready!" Kenny exclaimed from the doorway, clad with only a towel and a wide smile. "Your mom made non-kosher food!"

"Great!" Kyle said with much enthusiasm—though, as Stan knew, the boy already didn't follow the eating diets his parents did. "I hope she's cooked eggs, at least."

"She made sausage and eggs," Kenny informed matter-of-factly. "But don't you dare play with my sausage, Kyle!" Kyle laughed, heading out of the room as quickly as he could (probably to avoid answering Stan's question).

Stan sighed, shaking his head. "Do you always have to keep doing that, Ken?"

"What?" Kenny asked innocently. "You mean my innuendos? You know I couldn't survive without those, dude."

"No, not that."

"What, then?" Kenny laughed. "Long showers? The sex with Kyle, man… had to wash it all off. He had no lube either, so I had to jack it with shampoo…." Kenny barely caught the scowl under Stan's breath, but the boy's facial expression was enough to tell him he had gotten it wrong yet again. "Well?"

"You interrupting," Stan said slowly. "It's like you're saving Kyle or something."

"Maybe I am?" Kenny said with a grin, walking out of the room. "Come on, Stan, breakfast!"

"Then why the hell are you encouraging me if you're helping Kyle avoid—"

But he stopped his sentence. Kenny wasn't listening, anyway.