Authoresses Note: Hello again! I think I'm doing really well with the whole updating thing. Let's hope that this continues. No particular warnings for this chapter, other than it's rather long by my writing standards. Oh, more OC's here! Again, if you think any of my characters are OOC or Mary-sueish, just tell me, and I'll fix it.
Let's see, life updates: nothing really. I'm actually getting homework (yeah, it's been more than 2/3 of the school year) and have a tad of an obsession with Bath and Body Works. That store smells nice I need some more manga to read, but have too many books. To end it, I shall comment about how the weather's being nice.
Disclaimer: I know you're all disappointed that I don't own Naruto, 'cause then you could come and stalk me for character rights and whatnot...I'm a very generous person on occasion
Chapter 4: escort mission I: Ume and Yoko
Another day, another mission. Such was the life of a shinobi, yet he still couldn't believe it. His personal mission had been on his mind for the past two days, and he had nearly forgotten other missions would be assigned.
This wasn't a particularly difficult mission, just an escort to Suna and back. While thinking about it during early morning practice, however, Sasuke realized that instead of hindering his plan, it would further research, as it was an escort mission to Suna.
There were plenty of kunoichi in Suna. Desert shinobis weren't pushovers like some of the ones in Konoha; they were tough and capable. He would be able to find more prospective females in Suna then he ever would here.
Suddenly, the mission with Team Kakashi didn't seem so bad.
O-O-O--O-O-O--O-O-O--O-O-O
One day on the road with a loudmouth, semi-stalker, insulting artist, and pervert and Sasuke was already not in the best of moods. His spirit had not been aided by the fact that the 'clients' were women. Daughters of some important person or another.
Females of any sort were generally not pleasant to Sasuke. These two however, went over the limit. The eldest at first appeared to be like him, both in appearance and attitude as she had black hair and dark eyes. But first impressions are rarely to be believed. She was a cunning girl, and had managed to irritate every member of the shinobi team.
The second one had too appeared quiet, with dark brown hair and light blue eyes. When they had set off, Naruto had immediately gone ahead with Sakura, leaving the four to walk in silence. After five minutes, this one had broken the quiet with a simple statement,
"Yoko nee-chan, do you have a tampon? I seem to have misplaced mine."
Sasuke had a good idea of what the object in question was, and a blush tinted his cheeks as he looked away. Yoko, though, had no qualms and answered in a similar manner,
"I'm sorry Ume imoto-chan, it is at the bottom of my bag. Perhaps one of these gentlemen carry one around for the needy female." Yoko looked expectantly at her guards: Kakashi was smiling, he was looking away, and Sai was glancing quizzically at everyone.
"Well, do you? No? Perhaps that pink haired woman has one? Would one of you be a dear and run up to her and ask?" Her eyes now held a sheen of mischief as she looked at each in turn, "Imoto-chan, who shall we send?"
Ume scrutinized each carefully, and pointed at Sai, "He seems like the most trust-worthy. We shall send him to ask the pink haired lady for a tampon." Sasuke pitied Sai, but not much. It was rather amusing for the girls to pick the one of them who looked as if he had no inkling of what they were asking for. One had to wonder what they were up to.
"Right. You there, what is your name?"
Sai looked back at the short girl, smiling his fake smile, "You may call me Sai. I am--"
Yoko cut him off, "yeah, yeah, whatever. Go ask that pink haired girl if she has a tampon."
Sai simply nodded, thinking it was something important, and ran up to the pink haired kunoichi.
There was a silence. Sakura had paused, looking at Sai in a strange manner and going red. Sasuke noticed that Sai was waiting expectantly while Naruto was looking between the two and undoubtedly questioning what a tampon was. When the rest of the party reached them, Yoko demanded again,
"Well? Do you? This guy here," she pointed at Sasuke, "has never seen one in his life!" When Sasuke heard that, he was going to protest, but she cut him off. Their intent had become clear to him, though it seemed to have been hidden from everyone else. Kakashi may have known, but he was to busy watching the scene unroll.
"You really should educate your team more! Seriously! If these guys don't know what a tampon is, and you're incapacitated, how are you gonna stop the blood?"
Silence permeated the air again, only this time, it was broken by Ume's soft giggling. Yoko was glaring at Sakura who was speechless due to the embarrassment. Sasuke was impassive, the blush gone and waiting for the finale, Naruto was looking confused, as was Sai, but he hid it better. Kakashi however, looked like he was having a field day.
The dobe however, would not be left in the dark long, and started spewing questions.
"Sakura-chan, what's a tampon? It stops bleeding? Why have I never used one? Are you bleeding?! OH GOD!! SAKURA-CHAN DON'T DIE!! WE NEED YOU! DATTEBAYO!!"
Yoko's previous mischievous look was gone, replaced by one of shear entertainment, "oh, dear! Sakura-san, are you saying that you actually haven't even informed these boys about the wonders of menstruation?! How could you rob yourself and your would be pupils of a learning experience?! Do you not know how to go about it? Well, fear not! Ume moto-chan is going to be a doctor and can explain the wonders of PMS to these four boys!! Walking is the best way to digest information, and it will pass the time! Take it away Ume-chan!"
That was the beginning of the longest walk from Konoha to Suna in the history of the two villages. Ume went into great detail about the tiniest facts. Sasuke had a vague idea of what a woman's cycle was, but that was something else. He was mentally scarred for life.
He had listened at the beginning...they all had. They had all listened in gross fascination. How could they not? The girl had a voice that compelled you to listen. By the end, even Sai was blushing. Naruto was looking at the females in horror, Sasuke would've liked to think of himself as composed, and Kakashi had disappeared. Sakura was blushing as much as Hinata around Naruto. Then the Yoko girl had the nerve to ask for a tampon again.
No one answered, and they quickly set up camp. The air was permeated by an awkwardness silence foreign to camps that also contained a certain loudmouth blond.
The two sisters had also quieted down, Yoko had a puzzle in front of her and Ume had a book. Neither looked remotely concerned that their ninja guardians weren't on the highest alert. Sasuke wondered about this, but never said anything. He had decided to stay as far away from those girls as physically possible because they were both females and frankly, rather odd.
As Sakura was cooking, Kakashi was reading his book, Naruto was absently throwing a kunai repeatedly into a tree, and Sasuke was finishing up the tents, Sai took out his sketch book and sat down facing the trees. The exercise was considered normal, and none of team Kakashi seemed to notice or care.
Ume, however, caught this action out of the corner of her eye. She placed her bookmark and started watching him. Sai noticed her staring, and turned around, smiling his fake smile.
"Do you need something?" She shook her head, a smile forming on her lips, similar to his. Sasuke realized just how much the younger girl resembled Sai when she had 'enlightened' them. Her speech was blunt, to the point, yet incredibly insulting and graphic.
"Why no, Sai-san, I find it quite intriguing that you draw. People drawing has always amused me, especially one such as uneducated as yourself." The artist's smile did not fade as he answered,
"Perhaps artists don't like nosy little girls watching them, for fear of the ugliness spreading to the painting, so I must ask that you refrain from your amusement."
At this, Yoko joined the conversation, not looking up from her puzzle, "Sai, don't speak to imoto-chan like that. I'll have to hurt you."
Sai's smile was still in place as the other members of the group looked on in amusement.
"I should like to see you try to land one scratch on me. I was trained in ANBU root division. Weak, ugly girls like yourselves wouldn't be able to get near me."
Instead of shrinking in fear, Yoko laughed, "Who says we need blows? We've already won! Your mind became a blushing pile of jell-o at imoto-chan's explanation." Her smile grew larger as Sai's expression turned to one of slight irritation and embarrassment. "Why we could do it again if you want! Hmm...let's see...I know how about--"
She was cut off by her sister looking sternly at her, "No, Yoko nee-chan! Sai draws. That gives him pardon. Besides, he's too unemotional to care," she turned to a still irritated Sai. He did not need 16 year old girls defending him, "I apologize for my sister. She does not like shinobi very much." she smiled, and flounced over to him, "However, you draw. Drawing is very good. You're out of our bingo books," her smile was genuine this time. The sudden mood changes were not hidden, and Sasuke picked them up. Memories of the lecture that had occurred less than an hour ago were still fresh in his mind, and he couldn't help but wonder if the girl next to the artist was experiencing her...thing.
Sai again looked confused, but said nothing, wisely deciding to go back to his drawing. The rest of team Kakashi though, was not so forgiving.
"Hey! Why is Sai out? He's a teme!! If anyone, you should take Sakura-chan and me out dattebayo! We're not perverts or temes!!" Naruto was on his feet, accusing the two girls. One glanced away from her puzzle but a minute and the other paid him no mind. "Oi! I'm speaking to you!!" Rolling her eyes, Yoko answered him,
"Drawing is a good skill most ninja don't possess. From our experience, shinobi who draw are good. We have also decided that loudmouths are to be put at the top of our hit list." That comment made Sasuke's opinion of the girls drastically change. Before, they were merely annoying, now they were karma at it's best.
The conversation between the two parties was sure to be interesting, but Sasuke tuned it out. Diner was served, and eating around Naruto had been giving him headaches. Whether it be the dobe's conversation, or the distinct smell of ramen was anyone's guess.
O-O-O--O-O-O--O-O-O--O-O-O
When they reached Suna, Naruto looked relived, while the others merely looked exhausted. The girls had not been kind. Description of all sorts had flowed from both mouths in a steady stream, targeting everything and everyone. The brunt of their attacks had been on Naruto as promised, and they had just been pushing him into a debate about whether the color red or blue was better when the gates of Suna had appeared on the horizon.
Naruto had literally sprinted his way to the safe haven of the Kazekage's realm. Gaara would not bother him constantly about the most pointless and sometimes graphic concepts known to man.
As the rest of the team caught up, Naruto could be seen complaining to a silent red head who was quickly turning murderous. Sasuke suddenly realized why this was a 'B' ranked mission, but fighting off the Kazekage was not something included in this job description.
Neither client seemed to notice the disturbance in the air, and continued walking, Ume in the peculiar manner she had been using for the past hour. Ume especially had some...odd tendencies they had noticed. The most notable was how she slept with the sun at sunset and woke at sunrise. Yoko had explained how she hated stars and would go insane should she see them.
Sasuke dismissed it as weird. Yoko had also proven that she would not wear pants, choosing instead to wear really long obnoxious skirts that would get caught on everything then she would smack anyone of them for trying to help her with a loud cry of "Hentai!"
He had decided from the start the girls were bizarre regardless of their use as tools of karma. His resolve of staying as far away as possible from both was a failure. Guarding people from a mile away was not possible. Still, Naruto had kept them occupied and for that, Sasuke as grateful.
As they reached the gates, Kakashi took that time to repeat the rest of the job description, "Remember, we must guard these girls during their stay at Suna and return them safely to Konoha in six days."
Kakashi had just joined the Ramen Stand in the plot to ruin his life. They were both out to get him: reminding him constantly of everything that would torment him and putting unreasonable plot seeds in his mind.
While Sasuke was thinking about how he would destroy Ichiraku Ramen, Sakura and Sai looked on in horror as their sensei put his nose back in his book with a very conspicuous air of delight around him. Thankfully Naruto had not heard the reminder, but the two girls had. One would expect them to look overjoyed.
But they didn't. Yoko was scowling at Naruto and Ume looked about to burst into tears. The signs indicated to Sasuke that the girls didn't like his team anymore than the shinobi liked them.
Tough luck. If shinobi guards didn't like their clients, they'd be less inclined to save them from a Kazekage stalking towards them, murderous intent growing larger as he neared. Choosing between a pissed off Hokage and murderous Kazekage was not a hard decision.
Note: hehehe, I love Gaara. Reviews are nice, especially for rarely motiviated people like myself!