And we're back on the air. (Takes a sip from the glass of water from under the desk)

So many reviews for the last chapter, I'm so glad that you all like it!

Now for this chapter. I think it's time for some... SHOPPING!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I just like to screw with all their lives

Parseltongue

Thoughts

Harry and Severus left the room in Gringotts, the former skipping and the latter mindlessly trudging along.

Snape was gobsmacked. This tiny child that was skipping along beside him was the richest and most magically powerful wizard alive; stronger than Voldemort by half. And yet there he stood, engaged in a staring match with one of the owls at Eyelops Owl Emporium. 'Wait what?' Severus wondered, striding over to the child and laying a hand on his shoulder. He watched as Harry flinched from the contact and then turned toward him, his fearful look melting into a wide grin when he realised who it was.

"Why are you staring at an owl Harry?" The potions master asked, letting his amusement leak into his words.

Harry grinned even wider, "He was talking to me," he gestured subtly towards the aforementioned tawny owl, "He was saying that human's glance around too much, that we don't focus on anything. And I told him that I can focus on anything I wish to. So he challenged me to a staring match. Now I've lost, and his point has been provend. B-but it wasn't your fault sir, I probably would have lost anyway."

Severus shook his head at Harry's fear of being reprimanded. 'Damn those muggles!'

"The word is proven, Harry. And do you mean to tell me, that you were conversing with an... owl?"

Harry turned back to the owl and let out a series of low pitched hoots. At first it seemed as if he were merely kidding around, but then the owl hooted back. Harry nodded and turned back to Severus whose pale complexion had paled further.

"Philip says that you seem to be a slow human if you're unable to grasp the concept that yes, I'm speaking to an owl." Philip hooted again, obviously saying something mean as Harry scowled at the bird, "He also said thank you for correcting this idiotic midget's vocabulalary."

Severus suppressed a smile, "You're speaking to an owl named Philip. Well that's... unexpected. I shouldn't be surprised that you can speak to animals I suppose. Well, although this is amazingly fascinating and I can barely pull my gaze away perhaps it would be beneficial for the both of us if we purchased a slightly less tenacious owl hm?"

Harry had no idea what tenacious meant but the mention of an animal just for him made his eyes widen in shock, "You mean that I can have an o-owl sir; an owl just for me?"

"Well I don't see another seven-year old whose name is Harry and wants an owl. So by all means let's buy you an owl Harry," Severus smirked before taking Harry's hand to lead him into the shop.

All around them were different animals. Harry's gaze flicked over the owls and cats and immediately shot over to the snakes. He plopped himself down in front of one of the small glass enclosures and stared at the Brazilian Rainbow Boa inside. The snake hissed and Harry realised that he could understand her, "Sssilly young humansss, they do not understand the glory of serpentsss..."

Harry shuffled forward on his knees and hissed a reply, "I think you're gorgeousss Ms Rainbow. I've never ssspoken to a ssnake before. Can you underssstand me?" 'Ms Rainbow' raised her head until her eyes were level with Harry's.

"It has been many years ssince I have met a sspeaker of my tongue. My name is Sssasha, what is your name sspeaker?"

Harry smiled at the boa, "My name iss Harry Sssasha. Is it really unusual to be able to sspeak to ssnakes? I mean, I sspoke to an owl outsside."

Severus was lightly stroking the back of a pure black owl while watching his young ward sit in front of the snakes. He halted in his petting when he noticed the snake rearing up behind the class. Snape pulled away from the bird and drew closer to Harry when he noticed Harry's lips moving slightly and, when within hearing distance, was shocked to hear melodic hissing sounds issuing from the seven year old.

The potion's master staggered back and barely managed to catch himself on one of the many shelves covered in pet food. To find out that Harry was a Parselmouth was enough to make Severus feel years older. It should have been expected, what with Harry being the magical heir of Slytherin and the fact that he was able to speak to normal animals. But Parseltongue would be something they would have no choice but to try and hide, even if it was only to stop the public from turning on Harry.

On top of this new problem there were some different inheritance details to be worked out. As the heir to the Prince line he knew how the whole 'Pureblood' thing worked. Now that Harry was head of all those houses he would have to be taught all the pureblood ways. 'Mental note to self: Buy book on Pureblood etiquette.'

With the magical inheritance of Salazar Slytherin Harry was entitled to share the Slytherin vaults with the biological heir. Unfortunately for Harry the biological heir of Slytherin was Voldemort, or formally Tom Riddle. The fact that he had not inherited Slytherin's magic meant that his family's magic had not deemed him worthy of the power. For Harry to receive any of the magic he must have a strong connection to Voldemort.

Severus' only question was: How are they connected?

The emerald-eyed boy conversing with the snakes before him was left blissfully unaware of his guardian's current internal monologue.

Harry had never had the opportunity to speak to snake's before and was finding them to be very good company. Sasha was currently trying to explain the danger of his new-found power to him.

"Young masster, there are only certain wizards who can sspeak to my kind. You are one of them, young one. But there are those who would use thiss to hurt you, you must not tell everyone about thiss," Sasha hissed, sounding surprisingly blasé for such urgent words.

Harry glanced behind himself to take a peek at Mr Snape. The raven-haired boy was surprised to see his steadfast saviour leaning heavily against one of the shelves, looking paler than any person Harry had ever seen.

Harry remembered seeing one of the shows that Dudley watched where a man was freezing cold and was completely white. Overcome with worry for Mr Snape he hissed, "Excuse me please," to Sasha and hurried over to his guardian to wrap his thin arms tightly around the man's waist.

Severus jolted in surprise and stared down at the small head that was currently snuggling into his stomach. Hesitantly, he brought his hands up and gently encircled the child's shoulders. He had no idea where the embrace had come from but he knew it would set the child back in his recovery if he was rejected by someone he was beginning to trust. And that was obviously the only reason that Severus was gently stroking back the hair from Harry's forehead; the only reason.

Harry slowly pulled away and looked up at Mr Snape, scared that he would be reprimanded for his audacity. It had seemed like a good idea to try and warm Mr Snape up with a hug, but with the stunned look on the man's face Harry was reconsidering his intelligence.

Severus smiled down at the child and carded his long fingers through Harry's unruly hair to reassure him.

"Why don't you introduce me to your new friend Mr Potter?" he asked, the slight smile remaining on his face, making him look less forbidding. Harry grinned and nodded, gently taking Severus' hand in his own and leading him over to the snake enclosures.

Harry hissed something to the snake and then turned back to Severus, "This is Sasha, sir. She's telling me about the dangers of being a Parselmouth. She says that I can't tell anybody about it," after realising what he said Harry's features took on a horrified expression, "But I just told you! Oh, please don't tell anyone sir! I'm sorry I haven't done what I was told! Please don't send me back, I'll cook and clean and do your gardening! Pleas-" Severus knelt down to Harry's level and gently cupped the boy's face.

"Harry," he murmured softly, "It's okay to trust me with your secrets. You know that I would never betray them to anyone. I would very much like to meet your new animal friends."

Harry beamed at the man and began to introduce him to the other snakes. One of the snakes was practically beating itself against the glass in an effort to get to Harry and Harry looked equally as desperate to hold the snake. Realising this, Severus wandlessly opened the top of the enclosure and watched as the snake slithered out and onto Harry's extended arm.

The two began hissing to each other; Harry's face suffused with childish glee. Snape was happy that Harry wasn't broken as he had expected an abused child to be. He himself, after suffering abuse at his father's hands for many years, had grown bitter and jaded; unwilling to trust and cruel to those that he didn't know. Harry was open to everything and had given his trust without hesitation but Severus felt sure that Harry would not do that with just anyone. He was quite sure that he was a special case; something about him made Harry feel comfortable. The potions master couldn't deny that it made him happy to make Harry happy.

'Merlin, this child will be the ruin of my reputation if I go around being happy all the time."

Harry turned to Severus with a pleading look in his eyes, the Emerald Tree boa lying around his shoulders like a scaly scarf, "Mr Snape, can we please take Samael home with us? He said that he's my familiar and we're meant to be friends for life. Can we take him sir?" The snake was nodding along with Harry's words and at his last question he winked at Severus and rubbed his head against Harry's ear.

Severus looked at Harry and his stony indifference crumbled at the pleading look on the child's face. Whether Harry knew it or not, he had damn good puppy-dog eyes. Snape sighed resignedly and nodded his head in assent, prompting a little cheer and happy dance from Harry, Samael bobbing around contentedly on the exuberant boy's shoulder.

"But," the bouncing stopped as Harry paused to stare at Severus, his arms still raised in a victory pose, "You will also need some sort of bird to carry your mail, so I suggest you start looking."

Harry nodded and rushed around with his young snake, pointing to several different birds and checking to see if Samael nodded or not. It was safe for them to converse as no-one was in the shop except the aged shop-keeper who was currently snoozing behind the desk. Severus sneered at the man but was drawn from what was going to be a stern telling off when a small hand tugged on his robe.

Harry was standing behind him, with a snow whit owl perched on his shoulder, and Samael resting along his opposite arm. The owl and snake both glared at one another but made no noises as Harry grinned up at his guardian.

"This is going to be my owl. She doesn't have a name yet but I'm sure I can find one in a really good book. Perhaps you could help me sir?"

'There's that damn puppy-dog look again. Curse my occasionally kind soul.'

"I will help you find a name for your owl Harry. Perhaps something from Hogwarts a History would be appropriate."

Harry looked confused, "What's Hogwarts sir?"

"It is a magical school for wizards and witches. You will receive your letter when you're eleven and attend until you're seventeen. I teach potions there."

Harry's jaw dropped, "You can make potions?"

Severus looked bemused at the question, "Yes I can. I am a Potions Master. I will teach you about potions before you go to school if that is agreeable to you."

Snape pulled out a bag of coins and plopped it onto the counter, jolting the sleeping shop-keep from his slumber.

"T-that's not mine- Oh! Professor Snape! What may I ask, are you purchasing today?"

Severus gestured to the owl and snake behind him, "I wish to buy these two animals and two boxes of owl treats," he wandlessly summoned the treats and set them on the countertop beside the bag of gold before sneering at the incompetent man before him, "How much will that cost?"

The man stared at the animals wrapped around the small child before looking back to the intimidating man, "those two animals have attacked any other person that came near them. You can h-have them for six galleons. The owl treats are free with the purchase of an owl."

Severus counted out the appropriate number of coins and placed them on the counter, stowing the bag in the depths of his robes. With a nod to the man behind the counter he grasped Harry's hand in his own and swept from the shop.

"Where are we going now sir?" Harry asked. His owl was now perched inside a cage that Severus had grabbed and Samael was (with his consent) shrunk and resting in Harry's pocket.

Severus glanced down at his small charge, "We will go to Madam Malkin's to buy you some adequate clothing. Then we will head into Ollivander's for a training wand so that I may begin to teach you magic."

Harry grinned up at him, "Brilliant!"

The fitting at Madam Malkin's didn't take long and soon enough they were leaving with a full wardrobe for Harry, full of wizard and muggle clothing. Severus shrunk it all and put the items in his pocket before taking Harry by the hand and walking with him down the street until they reached the old shop belonging to Ollivander.

A piercing chime rang through the duty shop as they pushed the door open and entered. Harry stared at the shelves that seemed to go on forever behind the polished desk. Mr Snape strode forward and pressed the bell on the desk, making Harry jump when an even louder chime pierced through the shop.

"That's louder than in normal shops isn't it Mr Snape?" Harry asked, looking slightly fearful after the ring.

Severus nodded and gently stroked Harry's fringe away from his forehead, "It's magic Harry. A lot of things are odd where magic is concerned," he told the boy, continuing the soothing motion of running his long fingers through the messy hair.

They both turned their heads sharply when Ollivander, an old frail looking man, came stumbling up between two shelves. He gasped when he saw Harry before a knowing twinkle entered his eye, "Mr Potter, at last. I wondered when you would come to my shop. So much potential, more than Dumbledore himself I would say. Yes, you are destined for great things Mr Potter, great things indeed. And Severus Snape, your training wand was ebony and thestral hair wasn't it? 16 years ago you came into my shop to retrieve your true wand. It took me weeks to get your wand cores in harmony, so many elements that rejected each other. A very precariously balanced wand it was, lingering in the centre of light and dark."

Harry was staring at the old man, wondering if he was mad like old Mrs Figg who liked to feed her cats prunes. He seemed mad enough. Then again, if he made wands maybe he had to be crazy with the frustration of making all the parts work. Yes, that must be why he was mad.

Severus had been subtly listening in on Harry's thoughts and struggled to stifle a snort at his charges mind's inner workings. He turned to Ollivander and regarded him before speaking, "Harry needs a training wand."

Ollivander nodded excitedly and then waved his own wand, sending tape measures to measure Harry's head and neck, they even measured each of his fingers. Harry giggled at the ticklish sensation and gasped when the tape measures flew back to Ollivander's desk and dissolved into it, leaving a piece of parchment which the old man quickly flicked over before strolling over to the shelves and retrieving a box.

"Try this, Mr Potter. Willow and dragon heartstring, good for healing spells."

Harry held the slender piece of wood in his hand but felt nothing in his hand. Ollivander stared at him and then motioned for him to flick it. Shrugging Harry lightly flicked it...

And watched in horror as Ollivander's hair turned into a single flame. Severus countered the spell and put out the flame while Harry gently laid the wand back on top of the counter.

Ollivander hesitantly touched one hand to his white, flyaway hair before shaking his head vigorously, "That, Mr Potter, was not the wand for you. None the less, we shall continue."

He continued to retrieve boxes, each wand that Harry waved ended up leaving the room in an even worse state than it was before. The poor boy was near tears and Severus could see the guilt residing in the child's eyes as he stared at the destruction his magic was causing.

"Harry, look at me." Severus waited until Harry's glossy eyes met his, "When I came in for my training wand it took me three hours to find one. By the time I had found my own I had turned the shelves upside down, turned Mr Ollivander's robes bright pink and blown up all the light fixtures. You have only been in here for 1 hour and have caused more destruction than I ever could. But do you know what that means Harry?" Harry shook his head and wiped his nose, "You're a more powerful wizard than me." He finished, offering Harry a handkerchief to wipe his nose and dry his eyes.

Ollivander grinned down at Harry, "He's telling the truth you know. I'm hugely pleased with you. You're a very strong wizard and now I have brought you a very strong wand. Ash and basilisk fang. A very good wand for powerful magic."

Harry held out his hand for the wand and felt a warmth spread through him the moment his fingers wrapped around the dark wood. He flicked the wand and all the destruction he had caused immediately flicked back into what it was before, perhaps a bit cleaner.

Ollivander smiled down at the small boy, "I think, Mr Potter, that you have found your training wand. That wand will promote health and balance, aid in weather magic, transfiguration and elemental magic. Altogether it is a very powerful wand for a very powerful wizard."

Seven galleons and one happy dance later, Harry and Severus had flooed back to Prince Manor to get some lunch into the two of them.

Severus grinned as Harry chomped enthusiastically on an apple, taking small sips of milk in between bites. He had never seen a child so perfectly content to eat fruit. He nudged Harry's nutrition potion over to him and gestured to it with a nod of his head, chewing on his own ham sandwich. Although he loathed admitting it, Severus quite liked the plain sandwiches that Harry got. Children's food always seemed much better than food for adults.

Harry placed his apple and mug of milk onto the small table between them and gulped down the potion, ignoring the odd aftertaste that came with it. He was used to weird tastes after the gross foods that Aunt Petunia had given him when he was practically fainting. The potion was practically a walk in the park compared to some of those things, especially when they weren't good to eat anymore. Those ones always made Harry feel sick after he'd eaten them. At least he knew that the potion would help him and make him tall and strong.

Or at least that's what Mr Snape had said and Harry trusted him because he had taken him away from mean old Uncle Vernon and had healed him up. Harry liked Mr Snape.

Severus was lost in his own internal musings while consuming another sandwich. Damn those things were good. Okay, off the topic of sandwiches. Severus wanted to exact his revenge on the Dursley's. He didn't want to get the ministry involved as they could and would take Harry away from him. He was not willing to let that happen. He'd already grown attached to the child. Lily's child. Severus knew that Poppy would help him and, after letting her know, McGonagall would want in on the action. She wasn't completely Albus' puppet although she let the Headmaster believe that she was.

Harry had finished his apple and was munching happily on a peanut butter sandwich. As far as he was concerned, the Dursley's didn't matter anymore.

Two weeks had passed and Harry had put on four kg and grown two centimetres. Severus and Poppy were both please with his progress, as was McGonagall.

Severus smirked remembering the day the three of them had gone to the Dursley's to... visit.

The three apparated onto the front step of the Dursley's ticky-tacky house at 10:00pm.

Severus stepped forward and rapped his knuckles against the door three times before stepping back in line with other two. Due to Poppy's flare for the dramatic they were dressed in hooded cloaks, the hoods covering their faces in shadow.

"Just a minute," came the call from inside before Petunia Dursley opened the door dressed like a sixties housewife. She paused at the sight of the three forbidding figures in front of her, "C-can I help you?" she asked, glancing behind her to the living room where her husband was currently sitting watching T.V.

Severus threw back his hood and grinned toothily at Petunia, "Hello Tuney! Did you miss me?"

The horse-faced woman threw herself away from the door with a strangled scream, "YOU!" She tried to slam the door but Severus wandlessly swung it back and open so that the three could enter the house.

Minerva grabbed Petunia by the collar of her dress and dragged her through to the living room whereupon she threw her onto the couch next to her walrus-like husband.

Poppy and Minerva threw back their hoods and drew their wands, instantly binding all but the two muggles heads. Petunia started sobbing and Severus, disgusted, threw a Silencio at he to shut the distraught woman up.

Vernon Dursley bristled at the intrusion into his home, "Here now! Who do you think you are? Coming into my home and terrorising my wife and myself."

Severus' glare quickly shut the man up and he smirked before leaning close to the man's ear, "Who do you think you are Dursley? What gave you the right to abuse a child all of his life. Lock him in a cupboard. Beat him, starve him. You enjoyed it didn't you? He deserved what he got. Was it because he was magic? Were you afraid of a two year-old Dursley?"

Vernon's face quickly went from a bright red to a sickly pallor, "W-what do you mean?" he squeaked, making Severus' smirk grow wider.

Poppy answered, "You hurt an innocent child you filthy little muggle, now you must pay for your crimes, as must your wife." Petunia began to sob harder and Minerva removed the silencing spell to hear what the woman was saying.

"H-he was j-just thrown on our d-doorstep. W-we never a-asked for him. W-we were s-stuck with the f-f-freak!"

Severus threw a stinging hex at her and grinned as she cried out in pain, "I'm a freak Petunia. Your sister was a freak as well. And we freaks don't like it when someone picks on one of our own. Especially a child. Especially a child who is the saviour of our world. It pisses us of Tuney."

McGonagall, Snape and Poppy pointed their wands at the two Dursley's and chanted as one, "Justicia pro vestri vitium"₁

"You will feel everything you did to that boy for as long as you have done it to him. For six years you will feel hungry no matter how much you eat, tired no matter how much you sleep and you will always be in pain." Poppy spat at the two muggles.

Severus cast an additional spell to stop them from speaking or writing of this night to anyone. Minerva had already called social services and informed them of the way that Dudley was treated. By letting the boy get to that size and encouraging it the Dursley's were guilty of child abuse and Dudley would be removed from their poisonous care.

Severus gave one last smirk, "See you Tuney," before the three apparated away.

Harry pushed his book away from him and grinned up at Severus, "May we practice magic now Sev?" After a week with Harry in his care Severus had grown truly sick of being called Mr Snape and sir. After Severus had proven to be too difficult for the seven-year old Severus had made do with Sev.

Snape nodded and Harry let out a whoop, drawing his ash wand and waiting for his instructions. Harry was almost finished the first year curriculum of spells and Severus was pretty much teaching Harry every useful spell he knew.

"Alright Harry, I want you to use the vanishing spell to get rid of the tray."

Harry nodded and raised the wand pointing it at the tray and said, "Evanesco!" the tray and its contents vanished and Harry turned to Severus with a grin that split his face in half. Severus couldn't help but be surprised that Harry was already mastering spells that were taught to students twice his age.

"You did very well Harry, now what is the incantation to make a light?" he asked, leaning forward in his chair and resting his forearms on his knees.

"Um it's Lumos Sev."

"Correct Harry. Now what's the wand movement?"

And that was how there afternoon lesson went. Severus asked Harry to do the spells and if the seven year old couldn't perform them he would help out. They would then practice writing with a quill and, after setting the spells to be practiced, Harry would accompany Severus to his lab and help him with potions.

As Harry painstakingly counted out beetle's eyes Severus smiled affectionately at him.

He rather liked having a son.

Sorry about the shitty ending. It was getting long and I had no idea what the hell else to write or where to end it so I apologise.

Either way please review and tell me if you liked it. Constructive criticism is welcomed!

Make the world spin my dears, make it spin...

Hufflepufflikeslytherin