Chapter 4

Ani Rejl: Thanks for reviewing! I know, I'm horrible for putting Leo through this, but thanks for liking this!

RRina: I love how you can feel their emotions; you know the story is good when you connect that closely with the characters, so thank you! I also love the bond between Raph and Leo, and I'm trying to include bonds between all four of them in this story, including that one. Thanks so much for your long and detailed review, it was a pleasure to read…

Fireworksinthenight: I'm so happy that you appreciate this story so much! I've been reading some of yours (especially Just Fine - that one is extremely perplexing and great to read) I am super honored that you like this story, I actually read some of your stories before I wrote this and I am so happy that an amazing writer like yourself actually likes my story! Thanks so much!

A/N: I thank you all for your support so far, and I hope that the lurkers eventually review too! I don't care if it's been three years since I've written this; reviews are ALWAYS welcome! Even critical ones, they help me improve my writing! :D

Oh god, that was long, sorry! Let's get on with the story!

Disclaimer:

Me: Hi Leo

Me: ...uh, Leo?

Leo: *Glares*

Me: Oh yeah, sorry. I forgot. Sorry for writing about you like this, but at least THEY like it!

Leo: *rolls his eyes*

Raph: Just say it already

Me: I absolutely own Teenage Mutant-

Raph: *smacks*

Me: I ABSOLUTELY DON'T OWN TMNT! *hides from Raph*

"I've begun to realize that you can listen to silence and learn from it. It has a quality and a dimension all its own."

― Chaim Potok, The Chosen

Leo couldn't breathe. He couldn't speak. He couldn't do anything as the air around him flooded his lungs and then whistled out as he exhaled, daring him to speak. To say something. But nothing came out.

"Go on, Leo," Donnie offered, not meeting Leo's desperate eyes. "Say something."

The silence was deafening. He needed his voice, but it wasn't there. It had vanished like morning mist. Raph gave him a curious glance and took a step towards him, cocking his head to the side.

"Leo…?" He tried, reaching out a hand towards his older brother. "Are you alright?"

But Leo couldn't answer. He couldn't make a sound. And if he couldn't, then he really was a failure. He failed and he was useless and empty and devoid of sound and pride. No. No. He had to say something. He had to reassure his brothers that he was alright and that everything would go back to normal. He could do it.

He opened his mouth once again and pushed his voice. He used to be able to do it so easily, without thought. But now he was silent.

So he tried again.

And again.

And again.

No. Leo thought, panic gripping him.

"He's mute," Raph growled coldly. "He's a failure."

No, I'm not! I can speak! He screamed, but again, he was silent. Leo took a step back, crashing into Donnie's desk and knocking numerous devices from it. And then he was coughing, choking, trying to force some sort of sound from his broken throat. And he couldn't breathe, or see, or speak, oh god, he couldn't speak, and suddenly he was on the floor, wheezing, and coughing and trying so hard to get some sort of sound, any sound, to float through the still air. But there was nothing. No. No. No!

"Leo!" Donnie looked up at the crash and the desperate sound of Mikey's scream.

Leo was on the floor, his eyes wide with terror, wheezing and coughing and clutching his neck. His stitches must have ripped open because blood was staining his newly wrapped bandage.

Donnie didn't hesitate another second, rushing forward to help his brother as his other brothers screamed at Donnie to do something, asking 'what is happening to him?' repeatedly. Donnie ignored them; he needed to help Leo.

"Leo!" he cried, crouching in front of him, trying to keep the urgency and terror from his voice. "It's okay, just breathe. Breathe. You're okay."

Leo looked at him, took a breath, then his eyes rolled back into his head and he collapsed on the floor.

Oh no. Donnie had time to think before Leo's body began convulsing violently.

"Leo! Raph shouted, fear lacing his tone. "Donnie, What's going on?"

"He's having a seizure. Get a pillow." He ordered Raph, his voice strangely calm. He heard Raph retreat with strong, wide bounds as the purple ninja quickly turned Leo on his side so he didn't choke on his own saliva. He quickly took his hands away from him and backed up to give him space, clearing the floor as best and quickly as he could so Leo didn't hit anything. He still seized, but it should only last a few minutes at least. Raph quickly came back and Donnie put the pillow under Leo's head so he didn't bump it anymore and hurt himself. Raph also brought a blanket and tried to put it on the convulsing turtle, but Donnie stopped him. He didn't explain why, there was no time, but instead he muttered to himself, quickly:

"I think it's a psychogenic non-epileptic seizure, midazolam should help." Donnie quickly stood up and got the sedative from his desk turned back to help Leo, but his older brother was now lying still, his breathing returning to normal, his eyes closed. Raph was crouched by his side. He looked up at Donnie, fear, and anger lighting his eyes.

"What was that?!"

"Psychogenic non-epileptic seizure, it probably was from all the stress and fear he'd experienced this past week." He said as quickly and as simply as he could put it.

"What about his voice?!" Raph shouted, clenching his fists. "I saw him, Donnie, before… before that happened, he was trying to say something, but he couldn't! What happened? What's wrong with him?!"

Donnie looked at the floor.

"It must have triggered the attack." He murmured softly, avoiding Raph's question. "We should get him off the floor."

Raph quickly scooped the unconscious turtle off of the floor and marched towards his room without a glance at Donnie.

"Get him comfortable and I'll come to check on him in a few minutes, once I gather supplies. Make sure to keep tabs on his breathing!" Donnie called, but Raph just grunted in response, not wanting to talk to Donnie. Don sighed and turned to Mikey.

"M-Mikey?" Don tried, concern heavily weighing his voice. His younger brother was standing where he'd left him, shaking in fear with tears dripping down his face. His head slowly turned and he met Donnie's gaze.

He let out a startling sob and rushed towards him, his arms wrapping around the purple-clad turtle's torso. Donnie gasped in surprise, feeling Mikey's face buried into his plastron, listening to his crying. The purple-clad turtle shakily reached up and returned the embrace, rubbing his brothers' shell comfortingly, the way Leo used to do to all of them. After a few minutes, Mikey looked up towards Donnie, his eyes wide and scared. None have them had ever seen their oldest brother like that, and it left them all shook, no matter how much they'd try to hide it.

"What happened to him, Donnie?" Mikey's voice was hoarse and dripping with pain, not for himself, but for his brother. Not physical, but emotional.

Donnie frowned. Leo's seizure was also based off of emotional or mental processes, but why? Did he already know that his voice probably had no hope of returning?

Donnie shook his head. He couldn't think of that right now, not when two of his brothers needed him, badly. He looked down at his younger one, smiling wryly.

"We don't have to worry right now. When Leo wakes up, we'll calm him down and make sure that his voice problem isn't permanent."

"But why was he doing… that?" The orange-clad turtle squeaked.

"Seizing…?" The word felt wrong. Donatello didn't like to say it out loud, but it held truth. "It was most likely caused by the stress of not being able to talk. Also, what he'd been experiencing over the past weeks have been very traumatic." When Mikey's eyes widened, (if that was possible) Donnie quickly fixed his mistake. "But don't worry, he should be back to normal in no time!" He lied quickly. But Mikey didn't catch on, luckily for him. He simply nodded, shot his brother a worried smile before walking to Leo's room.

Donnie waited until he left before sighing.

How long will my lies hold up for?

Raph sighed, his expression morphing quickly into worry as soon as he set Leonardo down on his bed, being careful about the sling steadying his brother's broken arm.

"Leo… What's going on? Everything is so messed up." Leo didn't respond, so Raph clutched his non-broken hand and continued. "We really need you. You're probably gonna wake up soon. Heck, you're probably just pretending to be asleep just so you could hear me apologize! You're gonna get out of this bed exactly the same as you were before, aren'tcha'?" Then he sighed again, knowing that things were changing, and those things included his older brother. The sai-wielding ninja rested his forehead on the edge of Leo's bed, closing his eyes and squeezing his brother's hand.

"I'm so sorry for leaving you. We left you in that warehouse. I'm so sorry. Please, just..."

Raph opened his eyes, feeling a presence at the door. He whirled around to see his father and sensei standing there, his large ears flat with sadness.

"Donatello explained to me what had happened." He whispered simply before walking over to Leo's bedside and resting a hand on his forehead. He looked at Raph sternly.

"My son, you must not blame yourself for what happened." He lectured, walking back towards the door again. "It was Leonardo's choice, and it saved your lives. You know that he would have wanted you not to worry and apologize for something he decided to do alone." With that, he exited the room, but it was quickly filled again with Raph's two other brothers.

Donnie didn't say anything but quickly proceeded to check on Leo, muttering things like 'EEG' and other words that Raph couldn't distinguish. After a while, Donnie fell silent and Mikey left the room to go seek comfort elsewhere. As soon as his little brother was gone, Raph shot to his feet, grabbed Donnie's arm, and dragged him outside. Raph whirled around and glared at his brother, arms crossed.

"Start talking," Raph ordered.

Sorry that this chapter was short and the writing wasn't so good; I'm going to be offline for a few days and I really wanted to post this before then. Thanks so much for reading, and yes, I did change the title, sorry for confusing anyone. I am so sorry if this chapter became a bit rushed at the end, I feel bad for that, but I didn't have a lot of time to write this chapter.

Reviews are welcome!

~CatOfWater