A/N: Modern AU. Characters: Iroh, Izumi, and others.
Ember Island Eel Hounds Water bender, round 3
Prompts:
Chocolate,
Lost in a grocery store
Trunk
Words: 1105
Don't judge me
"Oh spirits, it's missing." General Iroh leaned against the apple display trying to steady himself before pulling out his phone and dialed. "Hello mother? I need your help…. No, I don't need that. No one has to die mother!"
Iroh looked around and smiled at a startled woman pushing her cart. He wave and she quickly rushed into the baking section.
Iroh sighed. "No, look I just need your help. I've got a problem…remember when I was sixteen and dad-yup, that. Well it's like that but change yacht to grocery store and five cups of coffee to seven shots of vodka…well that too there's only one missing." Iroh took a few steps and immediately felt the world spin. He grabbed onto another fruit display knocking several oranges to the floor. "No! I can't do that! If I do that they'll know I'm drunk! I can't get banned from another grocery store! This is the last one in walking distance to my place. Well that's not very nice to say to you child. Well I had a date tonight and…why I am I what if I have a date? Oh drunk…heh funny story I forgot about my date and was hanging out with the guys and forgot about the date plans… I am not a drunk mother. I do not have a problem! No I can't cancel!" Iroh gulped. "It's our one year anniversary."
Iroh grabbed his cart and started to push it through the produce section trying to subtlety look for it. "Like I said I forgot. Now how did dad fix this? He used a what?" Iroh took his phone from his ear and looked at it before putting it back to his ear and kept walking. "Uh what? Mother I don't have a trunk full of prawns at my disposal. Ow! No, that wasn't you I just kicked something." Iroh looked down and back up. "I just kicked a watermelon, do you think that will work as well as a trunk full or prawns? Why are you laughing?"
Iroh frowned. "It's not nice to laugh at your child when they are hurting. Mother please, that really hurt! Ok fine it's a little funny…no I don't think it's like them 'turning on their own kind.' That's mean mom. That is the exact opposite of supportive. No I know you love me….it's a funny joke ma' but my foot still hurts. So let's recap shall we? I'm drunk, in a grocery store, you know what is loose, and I now have to buy a watermelon with a boot shaped hole in it….and I'll be late for my date."
"Well it's not in the produce section…I rather doubt it's 'chill'n with pineapples' as you put it." Shaking his head, Iroh put the damaged melon in his cart and wheeled it down the nearest aisle, which had bread and other baked goods. "I'm in the bread aisle now…do you think they like bread? I like bread, I think I'm out of bread…I should pick up a loaf…. sorry I don't mean to get distracted but it's bread. It's on my list. What else is on my list?" Iroh pulled a pice of paper out of his back pocket. "Well, the normal stuff, Milk, eggs, chocolate, wine, chocolate, soda, ice cream, chocolate… yeah I know but Bae loves chocolate. I have no idea what that means either but I've heard it's a term of endearment." Iroh turned the corner down the next aisle scanning the ground and desperately trying to keep track of reality. "No, I don't have the specific type of chocolate written down…. just chocolate. What do you mean there's different types? What the hell is baking chocolate? Well I'm not baking anything…. I am an adult mom…mom? Mother?" Iroh pulled the phone from his ear to make sure he had not been disconnected. "Did she just put me on hold? I guess she did…Well she wasn't exactly being helpful."
Iroh clicked off the phone and scanned his surroundings. He was standing half way down the candy aisle. "Welp might as well get the chocolate." He looked at the selection. "Oh that's a lot of different types what would be the best?" He gazed at the chocolate for a minute before shrugging and grabbing a random selection. At the corner of his eye he saw something move. "Ah there you are!" Iroh dove to the ground and looked under the shelve before screaming at a small fire ferrite that was eating a forgotten noodle packet. The creature charged, climbing onto his shoulder and into the basket where it started eating the maimed watermelon. Iroh looked up trying not to laugh before hearing his phone ring.
"Hello? Oh hey sis…mom texted you? Yeah…that's happening. No I haven't found the little bugger yet…I did find a fire ferret…no a different one, not that one. Fey did you call to help or to mock? A bit of both, of course." Iroh groaned. "No, it's not a vegetable! Vegetables don't have legs! Oh you said valuable, uh it's a bit valuable. Well I mean it's really big so pretty valuable, but it's not the money that's my concern. Fey it's loose in a grocery store! That's the pertinent part of this! I'm not yelling. Ok I'm yelling but look your not helping and the fire ferret is mocking me while eating a watermelon." He shot a dark look at the creature who just keep chewing. "Look, I've got to let you go now ok sis? Love you too talk later."
Dusting himself off Iroh got back to his feet and started to push the cart, ferret and all, down the next aisle. Half way down, Iroh stopped dead in his tracks, there it was mocking him by the pyramid of canned goods.
.o.
Mako slammed his car door closed unsure of what he would in the seemingly normal Piggly Wiggly. Sliding his phone into his back pocket, Mako walked into the store in search of his boyfriend at his mother's request. It wasn't hard to find Iroh, Mako just followed the sound of a crash and rolling cans. Reaching the scene of carnage Mako could not help but tilt his head in confusion. There in front of him was a cart with a fire ferret in a broken melon and pile of chocolate bars next to the remnants of a can food pyramid where General Iroh lay holding a large lobster in one hand. Iroh looked over at him and grinned.
"Fount it."
Mako pinched his nose and tried not to laugh. "Yup, you did. Well done."