"Please and Tang Soo"

Written By: anti-nostalgic kuma (ANKuma for short) (or siriusly delusional...depends on where you're reading this, really)

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation. I don't know how many times i have to tell you people this before it sinks in, but honestly, i really don't. It's owned by some cool chick named Maki Murikami. sighs Love her.

Dedicated To: Tori Amos, one of the coolest chicks on the planet.

Author's Notes: So, we're only doing Shuichi's POV, making the chaper a little shorter this time around... I've just been bogged down with school work and then therapy and my friends and my boyfriend and everything's been all crazy lately. In the meantime, I'm thinking about doing a POV here and there whenever it suits the story of a secondary character's POV. For example, Tohma, Sakano, Suguru, Ryuichi, etc. Who would you like to read? Though, I have to tell you now, I absolutely refuse to write Taki's POV... I really don't want to try to get into a rapist's head very much... I hope you understand that. Now, I hope you sit back, relax with a large sized tub of popcorn and the beverage of your choice, and enjoy Please and Tang Soo! (I hate school...)

Chapter Three: Cleanse My Wounds

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"Some people are afraid of what they might find if they try to analyze themselves too much, but you have to crawl into your wounds to discover where your fears are. Once the bleeding starts, the cleansing can begin."

-Tori Amos

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Shuichi's POV

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I don't know why, but I decided that I was going to take a walk in the park a few blocks away from my apartment, the one near Uesugi-sensei's Do Jang, at about three o'clock in the morning. It is now ten minutes later and here I am, shivering in the cool night air, wondering why the hell I came out here in the first place.

It doesn't make sense, really. I guess I've always just felt that I could think better in this park. Whenever I get stuck in the middle of writing song lyrics, I can come here and feel relaxed, calm. It's always been there to stimulate me creatively and emotionally whenever I'm down or in a slump.

It's the only place I have to escape to sometimes.

I haven't been here, though, in nearly five months... Not since they--

I don't want to think about it right now. I shrug deeper into my orange hoodie, my teeth chattering, and sit down on the nearest bench, looking out over Tokyo's bright lights. I pull my legs up against my chest and wrap my arms around them, my head propped up on my knees.

"Hey, what are you doing here?"

I try to jump to my feet in surprise, but end up tripping and falling hard on my ass to the cold concrete sidewalk. There, standing six feet away from me, illuminated by an overhead street lamp, stands Eiri Uesugi.

As if I'm not already emotional, depressed, and confused, let's throw him into the mix...

"I-I-I...I was just going for a walk... Couldn't sleep...," I say, once I'm able to make my voice work. I climb back onto the bench with as much dignanty as I can muster. I hug my legs closer to my chest.

He lets out a deep sigh and I'm suddenly aware of two things--one, he's wearing dress clothes which have to have been designed by Armani(1), and, two, that he's smoking a cigarette. For someone who smokes, he's incredibly fit and for someone who's job is teaching Tang Soo Do, he's a snappy dresser. He gestures to the empty space beside me on the bench. "May I join you?" I nod, not sure what else I should do. He sits down next to me, putting out his almost-finished cigarette butt and taking out a package of them from his pocket. He pops one in his mouth and then tilts the box over to me. "Want one?" I shake my head without thinking--K would kill me if I did anything to ruin my voice. He shrugs. "Suit yourself." He lights the end of the cigarette and takes a long drag, exhaling slowly in a puff of smoke.

I make a face. "Those are really bad for you," I say, turning my head to the side to look at him. The moon, the street lamp, and Tokyo's lights seem to have an almost magical effect on him. His blonde hair seems to be a halo around his head and his citrine eyes sparkle in the semi-darkness. He reminds me of the Greek god of the sun that Hiro and I learned about in school... The cold expression and the perfect beauty. I know that Hiro is right in thinking that I have deeper feelings for him than just admiration and gratitude.

Eiri snorts and raises an eyebrow. "Yeah. And?"

I bite my bottom lip before continuing. "Well, it's just... How can you expect to stay as fit and as good at Tang Soo Do if you're smoking away your health?"

The blonde takes another drag, inhaling deeply. When he speaks, smoke billows out of his mouth. In some strange way, I find that attractive. "I don't expect to stay healthy for the rest of my life... And I don't want to quit."

I furrow my brow in confusion. "But you could die from smoking."

His yellow eyes flash sharply--the same way they do in class whenever I make a mistake or talk back--and he blows smoke in my face. "Maybe I want to die."

I can't tell if he's being sarcastic or not, so I settle with forcing a cough and waving the smoke away with my hand. "Well, maybe I don't," I say, fixing him with the same look.

He considers me for a moment before a small smile tugs at the corner of his lips and he puts the cigarette out after one last drag. "Fine. You win. Happy?"

I smile a little, too, still hugging my knees tightly. "Very," I reply, looking away from his pircing eyes and gazing once again at the twinkling city lights. He follows my gaze and notices my shivering.

"You know," he says after a moment, "we should both probably go home... I mean, what's the sense in sitting outside in the cold?"

I shake my head in disagreement. "I don't want to go home. I don't want to be alone right now." I bite my lip as I realize how childish that sounds, like a toddler afraid off the dark.

Eiri considers me for a moment and I feel just as I did whenever we first met; as if he can see every one of my imperfections and faults. He lets out a deep sigh, running a pale hand through his blonde hair with a grace I know I could never muster and his eyes seem to shine brighter in the dark. "Well," he says after what seems like forever, "I don't live far from here. I'm not going to get any sleep tonight anyways, so I guess it wouldn't be a huge deal if you came along."

I nod. For some reason, I am not threatened by Eiri. In fact, around him, I am totally at ease. Even more at ease, I have to admit, than I am with Hiro. I feel as though I'm betraying my best friend for a moment before I realize that it hasn't anything to do with me mistrusting Hiro. Sometimes, the people you trust the most are the hardest to talk to. Hiro is too close to the situation--too involved. It's easier with Eiri because he's outside of all of it all. And, in some bizarre way, I feel like he'd understand if I told him.

He stands up to his full height and I'm made aware, once again, how much taller than me he really is. I uncurl from my position and stand too, shrugging deeper into my hoodie. We walk in silence for a few minutes until we exit the park and start walking down the street and I decide to break the silence. "So, where do you live anyways?" I say, my voice sounding small and nervous compared to Eiri's strong and sure tone. I shove my hands deeper into the conjoined pocket of my hoodie and allow my hair to fall like a curtain in front of my eyes so that I don't have to look into the older man's penetrating eyes.

"I live in that peach-colored apartment complex up the hill down the street from the bakery that sells all of those wagashi cakes," he says and I immediately stop walking. Peach-colored apartment complex? Up the hill? Down the street from the wagashi cake bakery? It takes him a few minutes to realize that I'm no longer walking beside him and he turns around, one perfectly chizled blonde eyebrow raised in question. "What? What is it?"

I seem to be unable to find my voice for a moment. "Ume(2) Apartments?" I say in a small voice, eyes wide.

He nods slowly. "That's what I said."

"...Which apartment?"

For a moment he looks at me as if I'm crazy. "3-D(3), what the hell is the matter with you?" I stare at him for a moment in shock. "Are you on drugs or something?"

I shake my head and regain my composure, forcing out my voice again. "No, I'm not on drugs! It's just..."

"What? Spit it out already!"

"I live in 3-E." He stares at me and for a moment, I swear I can see through him like he sees through me. I see so many things--hurt, pain, bitterness, sadness, vulnerability, fear, anger--it's almost like looking in a funhouse mirror; the image is distorted, but you can still see a resemblence between yourself and the reflection.

I know for certain that, if I were to tell him what happened to me, he'd understand how I feel.

But the moment comes and goes and he puts his guard up again, his yellow eyes cool and calculating. "Huh. Small world." We begin walking again and I stay three paces behind him like some geisha or a housewife. If he notices, he says nothing about it. Maybe he's used to people being obedient. Eiri and I walk the familiar path to the apartment building and I wonder why we haven't seen each other before. Then again, maybe we have, and I've been too preoccupied to notice.

We're nearly there when Eiri sighs deeply and gives me an irritated look. I bite my lip. What did I do wrong? "Look, I'd rather you start ranting or acting like a moron like you usually do, because when you're not acting like a freak, you're boring and a waste of my time."

"Well, excuse me!" As if my anger were just turned on with the flick of a switch, I'm full of what K likes to call 'fire'. The fire grows bigger when I notice that Eiri looks mildly amused by my outburst. "I didn't ask to come back here with you, now did I? I would have been perfectly fine sitting there in the park! You're the one that suggested this, not me, so just deal with it!"

A small half-smile lifts the corner of his lips, which I can't seem to stop starring at. I just got done yelling at the man, and now I suddenly want to hug him again and never let go. What is this feeling...?

"That's better," he says after a length of time and reaches out gently to ruffle my hair, an action which makes me blush profusely and all the words leave my head again. We step into the elevator and stand on opposite sides. I tug at my orange hoodie self-conciously, wishing that I had worn something more dignified. Eiri looks perfect--like a high-fashion model--who's shoes are more expensive than my entire wardrobe. I hope he doesn't notice the hole in my sleeve.

After what seems like an eternity, the doors open and we step out again, walking towards Eiri's apartment. My heart starts pounding. It's been a long time since I've been to another guy's apartment, barring Hiro. Not since... But for some reason, I don't feel as uncomfortable as I thought I would. Eiri seems to comfort me in a weird way, I suppose. He's strong--stronger than me--but somehow I know he would never use that strength to hurt me...to overpower me.

He takes his keys out of his pocket and sticks the right one into the lock with a motion so precise and fluid that it almost seems otherworldly. In a few seconds, the door opens and we step inside the dark apartment. I jump in surprise when he flicks the lights on and he gives me a strange look which moves me to embarassment. God, can't I behave even semi-normally around this man?

"Well, we're here," he says bluntly, a small yawn escaping his full lips and interupting his speaking, "now what?"

I blush a little as I slip off my shoes and look around the room. It's furnished in what has to be designer furniture and minimalist art pieces that must have cost fortunes. I want to ask how a simple Tang Soo Do instructor can afford such finery, but I know it'd be rude to ask. The walls are stark white and sterile, as is the carpet and the ceiling. The furniture and the stands seem to made of ebony. I don't know where is a safe place to sit.

Eiri gives me a strange look and gestures to his long, L-shaped, black leather couch. "Sit." I do very quickly, glad that I was given some sort of direction. "Do you want something to drink? Tea, beer, coffee, water...?" I tell him I want coffee and he leaves the room to go get it. There was no way I'd ever drink beer again...not after what happened the last time another man offered it to me.

He returns, setting down my coffee and a can of beer on the coffee table before sitting down next to me, ankle resting on his knee and arm draped over the back of couch so that his fingers are almost brushing my shoulder. The whole place smells like stale cigarettes, beer, and coffee, but it's not at all unpleasant. We sit in silence as he drinks only a few sips of his beer. I don't touch my coffee. It goes cold.

After a few moments, I feel his fingers ghost over my shoulder. Little static shocks. My eyes widen. I look over at him, confused and a little frightened. He fixes me with a look before he breaks the silence. "Why don't you want to be alone?" My bottom lip trembles and I feel tears well in my eyes. I bite them back and look away.

I take a very deep breath. Then I tell him. "About three months before I started Tang Soo Do with you, I..." I shake my head and try again. Nothing seems to be coming out right. Then again, the only person I ever told this story to was Hiro and his eyes do not bore into my soul like golden fire and send shivers down my spine like Eiri's. "There was this other musician...a singer, like me...working at NG. He had this...vendetta against me. Hiro says he was jealous of my talent, that he was angry I got signed to a better contract than he did, that I was gaining more popularity. I...don't really know what to think about all of that. It's purely conjecture. The only thing I know for sure is that...he hates me." His fingers move subtly on my shoulder. I think it's his way of comforting me and urging me on at the same time. I take a deep, shakey breath. "One day...I was being chased by a group of fangirls in the mall and...he rescued me from them. I remember thinking, 'wow, he's not such a bad guy after all...'" My stomach turns as I remember thinking that... How could anyone fall for such a thin act? I swallow the acidic bile rising in throat. Gods, it makes me sick. "He...gave me a drink. I drank it. It was drugged... I don't know how long I was blacked out, but when I woke up, I was in the bottom level of a parking garage on the other side of town and..." I swallow hard, the tears falling noiselessly down my cheek, "he had brought friends."

I wrap my arms tightly around myself, pulling my legs up against my chest. If Eiri minds that my feet are on his couch, he says nothing. His fingers brush away a few tears that run down my cheek and I lean forward into the touch. "Go on," he says in a voice with thinly veiled emotion. "Trust me, you'll feel better once you do."

I hug myself tighter, wondering how he knows this, but I do as Eiri askes. "They...they held me down... Took turns... he...took pictures... Hours. It went on for hours." I rock back and forth, eyes wide as I relive it for a moment, tears flowly silently down my neck. Eiri doesn't bother to wipe them away now. There are too many. "When they were...done...I was left there...bleeding. I pulled my clothes back on, found my way to the elevator, and got out of the parking garage. I realized that I wasn't terribly far from Hiro's so... I started walking there. I could barely move, it hurt so bad, and it was raining down hard. It wasn't until I was accross from his apartment building that I remembered my cell phone was in my pocket. I couldn't move anymore. I called him and he carried me up to his apartment."

I feel strangely...naked now that I've said it, but whether that is better or worse, I do not know. Eiri's long silence bothers me, but I don't dare break it. He looks at me after a moment, before he lets out a long sigh, brushing a few stray hairs out of his eyes. "Did you press charges?" His voice is gruff.

"No," I say softly. "Hiro wanted me to, but I... I just couldn't." I dig my fingernails into my skin until little crescent-shaped lines appear, small curves red with surfacing blood. It feels good; gives me something else to focus on and helps me breathe without hypervenilating. Eiri notices, but says nothing about it. "I...I haven't seen him since... He doesn't work at NG anymore. It's almost like he's...disapeared...or...something."

Eiri reaches into the breast pocket of his shirt and pulls out a pack of cigarettes, not caring if I protest, though I don't make a sound. He takes a few well-deserved puffs before his eyes settle on me once more, beauiful citrine. "This is why you started Tang Soo Do with me, then?" The rough edge his voice held previously is gone and is instead replaced by what could almost be considered tenderness.

I nod. "Yes. I don't ever want to feel like that again..."

"Like what?" Even though he askes the question, I can tell he already knows the answer to it.

I look him in the eyes. "Helpless."

Gently, his hands reaches out and strokes my cheek, wiping away the tear tracks from underneath my eyes. I shiver with emotion at the contact, eyelashes fluttering involuntarily. My whole body seems to relax, unfurled and unraveled. His hand moves to the back of my head and he pulls me closer to him until our lips meet in a moment of unadultrated perfection. Balm for all wounds. Cleansed. Purified. Saved.

I have found Enlightenment in his kiss.

(1) Picture Eiri dressed in this: Ume is a Japanese/Chinese plum/apricot. They make duck sauce out of it.

(3) My mom lives in an apartment with the number 3-D. It's just so much fun to say! Eiri Yuki... deep man's voice IN 3-D!!!!!!!!!!

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Author's Notes Part Deux: So, how was it? This took longer to write than the last two chapters combined and yet it's shorter. Well, I added that kiss in to make the wait worth while for you! I think it took so long because it was really difficult to write Shuichi's confession. Well, leave your comments, please! I do enjoy them so very much! And now, shout-outs to all of my reviewers!

Patpat: Thanks a bunch! These chapters take a while to write, though, and I'm a junior, so it's really hard to balance writing with homework and hanging out with my friends, and reading all the manga that my boyfriend makes me read (coughcoughJingcoughcough) and open mic nights and all of that fun stuff... But I will try to write faster and make the next chapter longer than this one! Thanks for the luck, and I hope you continue to read and review!

Bram: Well, that was just K being...you know...K. Oh, you should definately watch Formula 17! I loved it to death! You should compare all of the characters in it to Gravitation characters and see what the results are for you! And Yu is so adorable! Not to mention the infamous Ice Cream Line. See? It's so important that I typed it with capital letters at the beginning of each word! Anyways, thanks for the review and I hope to get more reviews from you soon! Ja!

LadySamira: Thanks so much! I don't get a 'brilliantly written' very often, so...yay! Though, if the last chapter had your heart-strings pulling... Well, this one was probably way worse... I had such a hard time writing Shuichi's confession... I don't know how many times I got Writer's Block during that explaination, and it isn't even that long... It was just really emotionally taxing on me. I hope that this chapter was good, though, and I hope you continue to review! See ya!

Catchy Turn: What can I say? There are simply not enough Hiro/K stories! Which is a shame, because guys with long hair are hot! Is Shuichi in character? It's so hard for me to write him and yet I do it all the time in this story. I'm much more used to writing Eiri's POV, which, for some reason, comes pretty easily for me. Thanks for all the nice words and I hope that you continue to read, review, and enjoy this story!

DemonicDragon666: Thanks a lot! I hope that this chapter was just as good and you keep enjoying it and you keep giving me feedback!

Tensko1234: Well, here's the next chapter! Hope I didn't disapoint! And I hope you enjoy it as much as the last!

rynn: Thanks! Here's the next chapter! I hope it was worth the wait!

NatsuTsuki: Ha ha! I know, I just love K! It's really funny, actually, because my Graphics and Electronic Media teacher's name is Mr. K and when I talk about Mr. K from Gravitation, everyone at Tech gets confused! Glad that you liked it and I hope you continue to read and review! Ja!

So, that's it! Read, review, and please, don't be stingy with the compliments! They make me very happy! Well, that's it this time around, minna-san! I hope you enjoyed it and continue reading it! Ja!

In The Next Chapter: How will Eiri feel about kissing Shuichi? How will Shuichi feel about kissing Eiri? Will they become closer, or push each other away? And how will K react to being invited to Hiro's father's birthday party as Hiro's date? Gasp! All in the next chapter of Please and Tang Soo. Same bat time, same bat channel!