Over more pancakes, Peridot's caught up and Jade and John get to eat. John only joins half-way through and quickly scarfs down his pancakes. By the time they've gotten Peridot caught up on everything, it's already noon.
Steven decides that he likes these humans, or gods, or whatever they are (Rose said that they're not completely human, so he guess they're sorta human). John's funny and is easy to talk to. He likes to make jokes and pulls pranks (he somehow managed to put a bucket filled with water over the bathroom door when no one was noticing), and he likes Steven's puns. Roxy's very laid back and funny in her own way, since she's very ridiculous. She's also very smart, since she was able to explain the whole ectobiology thing. Jake uses strange words, but he's very earnest and loves to talk about the adventures he's had. Jane's easy to talk to too, and she makes really good food. She seems to be as a good as a prankster as John, since she was the only one who noticed him out the bucket of water over the bathroom door, but didn't say anything. Dirk may be stoic, but he's really cool. He ended up explaining ectobiology to Peridot by rapping, and he's really good at it. Jade may have made an . . . explosive introduction, but she's really nice too. She's smart and friendly and funny.
Even though Steven's warmed up to the Kids, he's not sure about the Gems. Garnet has remained emotionless through both explanations, and Pearl looks confused about . . . everything. Amethyst thinks that they're funny, but a few stray glances show that she has her concerns too. Steven's dad also seems concerned, he has a worried look on his face, mixed with confusion.
"Now what?" Garnet speaks up when the story's over and everyone's done eating. "You're here in this world and you can't go back. What are you going to do?"
The Kids share a glance with each other.
"Honestly, we're not sure," John speaks for everyone. "It's been so long since we didn't have to worry about the game or about any villains who wanted to destroy the universe. We just focused on finding a place to go, not about anything after it."
"And we can think about the future once the others get here and we've had time to settle in," Roxy adds.
"Others?" Pearl questions.
"Rose and Dave and everyone else," John explains.
"They should be here in three days," Jade adds.
"Will there be another ship?" Pearl worries.
"No," John chuckles. "They'll be on a meteor."
"What!?" Pearl exclaims.
"We'll be able to stop it. Aradia and Sollux have a plan and they're on the Meteor," Jade adds.
"But how?" Pearl asks. She doesn't get her answer since there's a knock on the door.
Everyone turns to the door, and behind the screen is a tall man wearing a white shirt, white pants, and a black tie. He has a large pointed nose and a white fedora covers his bald head. He holds a pipe in his hands as he knocks on the side of the screen.
"Oh! It's Dad!" Jane exclaims.
"Come on in!" Steven turns around and shouts. Jane's dad doesn't do anything, aside from scratch his head. "Uh . . ."
"He's deaf," John explains. Jane puts down the pan she's washing and walks over to the door to let her dad in. She quickly moves her hands in a certain way that's meant to communicate with her dad, and he nods his head.
"Uh . . . what does that mean?" Steven asks.
"It means he can't hear anything kiddo," his dad explains.
"Me and Jane learned sign language growing up so we can talk to him. Well, for me not specifically him, but my dad," John explains. Steven remembers the dead body, an identical copy to the man he sees standing before him, on the ground covered with sword wounds.
"So biologically, he's your son?" Amethyst asks, pointing to Jane's dad.
"I guess? But I'm just calling him dad. And technically Jane's his nanna but he's still her dad," John points out.
"Touché," Amethyst replies.
"Gems, Mr. Universe," Jane leads her dad over to the ground. "This is my dad, Joel Crocker."
"Hi!" Steven says with wave. Mr. Crocker waves back.
"I've told him all your names already, so he's caught up," Jane explains. Mr. Crocker pauses Jane and taps on her shoulder before quickly signing something. John begins to laugh while Jane exclaims, "I'm not saying that!"
Mr. Crocker than looks over to John and signs again.
"Mr. Universe!" John gets Greg's attention.
"Yes?" his dad asks.
"My dad wants you to know that he likes your beard!" John says.
"Uh," Steven's dad looks over to Mr. Crocker. "Thanks, I guess?"
Mr. Crocker gives Greg a thumbs up.
"Well, I really should go and open the car wash," Greg says getting up. "Seeing that it's . . . already noon!"
"More like half-past noon," Dirk interjects.
"See you later dad!" Steven says as his father heads to the door.
"Don't get into any more trouble!" his dad advises before he's out of the door.
"So whazzup Dad Crocker? Everything goin' good on the ship?" Roxy checks.
Mr. Crocker quickly signs something and Jane translates, "He says that the consorts are getting a bit restless, and he has a feeling that the Felt are planning on staging a mutiny."
"Against who?" Jade questions.
"Maybe Johnny. He is the leader," Roxy suggests.
"Uh, friendleader," John corrects.
"Jake? Aren't you the leader of the Felt now? Cuz you're an English or something?" Dirk asks.
"That's what Crowbar told me, but Crowbar likes me and everyone else seems to go with what Crowbar says," Jake explains.
"Then who?" John asks.
Mr. Crocker signs something.
"Well, apparently Nannasprite," Jane translates. "Crowbar's getting sick of her making cookies and distracting the crew."
"Nanna does make a lot of cookies," John grumbles.
"Then let's go take care of that," Jade says, standing up. "To the ship?"
"To the ship!" Roxy and John agree.
"You guys wanna come along?" Jade turns to the Crystal Gems.
"I suppose we should meet the other denizens of your ship," Pearl says.
"Alright, well we're taking the shortcut so hold on!" Jade announces. In a flash of green light, suddenly everyone in a completely golden room. There are yellow salamanders, red crocodiles, purple turtles, and blue lizards are everywhere. There's nothing in the room except for a doorway into a hallway where a yellow salamander dressed in black robes is leading a skeletal army of reptiles.
"What was that?" Pearl asks as she stumbles over.
"That was so cool!" Steven shouts.
"Thanks," Jade smiles. "I wasn't even sure I could do that anymore since the Green Sun's gone."
"Casey!" John suddenly yells as he flies out of the room. "No leading your undead army into battle!"
"What are all these guys?" Amethyst asks, poking one of the salamanders in the face.
"They're the consorts of mine, John's, Rose's and Dave's land!" Jade explains. "I brought them all on the ship so we wouldn't get lonely during the three-year journey."
"They're so cute!" Steven gushes.
"Lmao, I know," Roxy agrees.
"I dunno, these ones are looking in two different directions and it's kinda freaking me out," Amethyst says, pointing at the salamanders.
"Uh guys," a strange creature glowing lime green and orange floats into the room. They have bird's wings, sunglasses, a cat's smile, a trench coat and horns. The symbol on their chest is a moon with cog parts on the side. "Things have gone to shit since a couple hours ago when you all left."
"What happened?" Jane asks.
"Well, the Nannasprites were making cookies fur everyone, which is nothing new. But then Crowbar comes outta nowhere and starts to rage about how Nanna's distracting the crew. Crowbar declares gang war and apparently the rest of the Felt have been getting an itchy (not him specifically) trigger finger cuz they immediately flipped over the tables and started firing. The Nannasprites started firing back with their ovens and now I think Casey's entering the furay because they were bored," the creature explains.
"Oh boy," Jade sighs. "The Felt are going to die. Again."
"Not on my watch!" Jake declares and runs out of the room.
"We better follow him!" Roxy says to Dirk and they follow after Jake.
Mr. Crocker signs something to Jane, who replies, "No dad! We aren't joining Nanna! But we should try to get her to stop if Jake's working with the Felt."
With that, Jane and Mr. Crocker leave. Remaining in the room is Jade, the Crystal Gems, and the strange creature.
"Uh . . . are we going to help?" Steven asks.
"If you don't mind," Jade says. "I was going to give you a tour of the ship, maybe take you guys down to LOFAF, but I don't think that's happening now."
"Yeah, it's turning into a real warzone down in the kitchen so we should handle that furst," the creature adds.
"We'll help," Garnet decides.
"Great! Let's go!" Jade says and she leads the Crystal Gems out of the room down the golden hallways, which are only filled with more consorts. The creature flies alongside the group as Jade navigates them through the winding corridors.
"Uhm . . ." Steven turns to the creature. "I don't think we've been properly introduced. I'm Steven Universe!"
"Nice to meet you Steven. The name's Davepetasprite," the creature reveals.
"Uh . . . What are you?" Steven then asks. "How come you're all glowy?"
"Cuz I'ma sprite," Davepetasprite explains.
"Technically you're two," Jade interjects.
"I figured I'd get to that technicality later," Davepetasprite replies. They turn back to Steven, "So I assume that you want to know what a sprite is. Well don't worry, I got you covered. Sprites are basically guides for each player during the game. They were supposed to be all cryptic and bullshit, but some of us didn't really feel like it."
"So you're like that one fairy from Legend of Zelda?" Steven guesses.
"Exactly. In the game, you'd start out with a sprite kernel and then you would program it twice. Nannasprite was made from a harlequin doll John had and the ashes of his Nanna," Davepetasprite continues. "But I'm not a normal sprite. I'm a sprite squared."
"And what's that?" Steven asks.
"Well, I was once Davesprite and Nepetasprite. Davesprite was Dave's sprite, and Nepetasprite was Jake's. Davesprite was prototyped twice, but Nepetasprite only once so when they shook hands, Davepetasprite^2 was born and it was pawsome," Davepetasprite concludes.
"So you're like a fusion!" Steven realizes. "Like Garnet!"
Davepetasprite turns to Garnet, "Yo."
"Sup," Garnet replies.
Davepetasprite turns back to Steven, "Yeah. I guess."
"Cool!" Steven gushes.
Steven has plenty more questions about sprites, and Davepetasprite seems happy to answer them, but Jade stops everyone when they enter what used to be the kitchen. Now, it's a battlefield.
On one side of the kitchen, the tables were flipped over a green men of various sizes and wearing various colored hats and green suits are firing actual guns at the other side of the room. There's fourteen of them and Jake is over there talking to one who has a crowbar and a maroon three-point hat. Roxy and Dirk are over there too, mainly trying to grab some of the green men's weapons away from them. Roxy is creating more green blocks and is throwing them at the men, while Dirk is chopping bullets in half with his sword.
On the other side of kitchen are two identical sprites, both glowing turquoise. They both look like old ladies, but are also dressed up as jesters. They have one detached hand that floats around like a ghost hand. They have glasses and a scar over their right eye. They also have ghostly tails, unlike Davepetasprite who has normal feet. Both of them are firing over barrages of cookies from blue-glowing ovens, drowning the green men in cookies. Jane and Mr. Crocker are on that side, but while Jane is trying to talk sense into the identical sprites, Mr. Crocker is joining in the battle and is throwing pies at the green men or spraying the skeletons with shaving cream.
All over the room are animated skeletons of the consorts Steven's seen along the way. They're running over the Felt, stepping on everyone's feet, biting into all of the blue cookies lying around on the ground. They just seem to be more of a nuisance than actual fighters. In the middle of this skeletal army is the salamander in the black robes and John, who looks like he's scolding the salamander.
"Ah yes, welcome aboard the Prospitian battleship," Jade sighs as she gestures to the room. "This is what the last three days have been like."
"Who are the two ghost ladies?" Steven asks.
"Those are Nannasprite," Davepetasprite answers. "One's from John and Roxy's doomed session, and the other is from the Alpha timeline. So now we have two ghost-jester old ladies making us cookies."
"This is utter mayhem!" Pearl exclaims. "This'll take hours to clean up!"
"Eh, the crocodiles are basically trash compactors so they'll just come in here and eat everything. Also, it's not like we're planning on living here any longer than we already have," Jade says. "You don't have to worry about the mess."
"What we do have to worry about is someone getting hurt," Garnet points out.
"Right," Jade agrees. She takes a step further in the room, clears her throat, and the shouts, "ALRIGHT YOU FUCKASSES EVERYONE FREEZE!"
The whole room stops, accept for Mr. Crocker who throws another pie at the tallest of the green guys, who's wearing a white and maroon hat with the number 15 on it. One of the Nannasprites taps Mr. Crocker on the shoulder, signs something with her floaty hand, and he drops the pie he was holding in his other hand.
"Alright," Jade continues at a normal tone. "Where do I even start!"
Jake raises his hand, "Can I go first?"
"Of course," Jade agrees.
"Well, I was just conversing with Crowbar here and he agrees to stop if Nannasprite will stop 'stealing' the other members of the Felt with her delicious cookies," Jake explains.
"We were only trying to make everyone a meal after the hard work of stopping the ship," one Nannasprite says.
"And we can't help it if our baking's delicious, hoohoohoohoo!" the other Nannasprite laughs.
"Yer plottin' 'gainst me an' the boss!" Crowbar, the member of the Felt that Jake has talking to, declares.
"I don't believe that Nannasprite is doing anything of that kind," Jake argues.
"And her cookies are really good," a wider green man adds. His hat is white with a blue stripe, and has the number ten on it.
"I don't care!" Crowbar hisses.
"Look, how about just to make sure that another mess isn't caused we ban the Felt from the kitchen, that way they stay away from Nannasprite and we don't start a gang war," John suggests.
"Does that sound swell enough?" Jake asks Crowbar.
"Eh . . . sure," Crowbar agrees. "Felt out!"
The other members of the Felt groan but follow Crowbar out of the kitchen as he shoves past the Crystal Gems.
"What . . . are they?" Steven asks as the Felt leave.
"I'm . . . not sure," Pearl admits.
"They seem to organic lifeforms, but there's something about them that make them feel like they're above normal human cognitive powers," Peridot adds.
"They're really good at color coordination," Amethyst jokes. "Aside from the hats, at least."
"The Felt are Leprechauns," Davepetasprite interjects. "They're magical creatures that come from dead sessions of Sburb. Don't really know where they came from but Jake fought them all in the final battle and they just kinda adopted him as their leader."
"But if they're leprechauns shouldn't they have orange beards, pots of gold, hang out by rainbows and try to keep children away from their cereal?" Steven questions.
"Nah, these guys just want to hang out in their gang and do their weird leprechaun romance things," Davepetasprite explains. "So make sure you knock befur entering kiddo."
"You make a lot of cat puns," Steven laughs.
"That's because I'm part cat girl corpse," Davepetasprite reveals. "And part doomed Dave and dead bird, but I'm still all-around pawsome."
"Uh . . . that's a lot of . . . dead things," Steven starts to inflate.
"The game has a thing for death," Davepetasprite reveals. "Prototyping works better if you use dead things, you have to die to become a god, the whole world dies when you enter the Medium. But that's all part of the creation process."
"Uh . . ." Steven suddenly feels really awkward talking to Davepetasprite now, but at least the topic gets derailed as the hallway is flooded with the skeletal army retreating.
"Yeah! Get outta here! You all are banned too!" John declares as he floats above everyone's head, broom suddenly in hand as he swats the skeletons out. Steven can see the salamander in the black robes scurry away with the undead army too. "And Casey! Stop trying to gather your army to fight! There's no one to fight anymore!"
"So," one of the Nannasprites floats up next to John and faces the Crystal Gems. "Who's up for some cookies?"