Every Other Weekend

Modern Day AU. Matthew is back for good in Mary's life, finally, but he's not in a good place. She asks him for some time. Will they find their way to each other or will it really mean the end for their relationship? Based on Reba McEntire's song "Every Other Weekend"

Thank you so much reading and reviewing, it makes me feel so happy! And thank you again to Kelly!

I own nothing, enjoy!

Chapter 4:

Neither Mathew or George spoke the whole way home. The little boy was too upset over his lost game, and it was best to let him process it the way he saw fit.

But Matthew remembered it all too well. Just how upset Mary was as she competed and didn't win. He'd been there for it all.

Mathew sighed and instead focused on the girl's rambling over how their last week of school before summer would go.

"I'd be a good Belle, right Daddy?" Gracie asked. Last night Maggie had taken on the role and her sister had not said a thing, but now that he thought about it, it would certainly seem fit she had played the fearless heroine.

"Of course," he said softly looking back at the review mirror.

"Then you should have played her and not Jamie." Maggie said. "I'll let you be Belle tonight."

Matthew smiled. Maggie had Mary's strong will and wit, but she was a kind soul, especially when it came to her little sister.

"We shall practice again then," Matthew smiled. "And who should I play?"

"You gotta be the Beast, you're the bestest!" Gracie smirked.

"George should play Lummiere," Maggie piped in. "would you George?"

"I guess."

"Cheer up," Matthew said as he touched his leg softly. "It was a good game."

"No it wasn't," George said bitterly. "Coach is getting ready for next season and try outs are soon, I'll never be captain if I keep messing it up." Matthew glanced over at him with a smile.

"Then you try again. It doesn't mean you won't get it. It just means it might take you longer." Matthew said. George smiled softly. "Trust me, I know."

Dinner was quiet enough. Matthew kept thinking about how his conversation with Mary might go.

There were so many ways. She could ask him to come back or walk out of her life forever.

He shivered at the prospect of not being with her, he'd been holding for too long,-ever since he was 14- to let her go now.

But he didn't blame her either. Not really. He'd made those decisions

and they were his alone.

They got home and Matthew put Jack to bed. He practiced with the girls for an hour or so. The delight on Gracie's face as she played Belle was everything.

Even George had a good time with his fake French accent.

"Straight to bed," Matthew told the girls. "Go on and I'll tuck you in in a minute."

"Can we watch some TV?" Maggie asked.

"Please?" Gracie echoed.

It was only 8:30. Half an hour was more than enough to tire them with cartoons.

George got ready for bed as well and once he had the girls settled, Matthew focused on his eldest child.

"I wonder why I never got invested in those books" Matthew said causally, George was focused on his book as soon as he sat on the bed.

George looked up. "You should, they're so good."

"Maybe I will," Matthew smiled. "I'm sure aunt Sybil will give you the next one for your birthday."

Matthew swung his crutch as he struggled to find a way to reach out.

"I'm sorry about how today went, I know how important it is to you " He told him. "But…"

"Is this about mom?" George inquired.

"It is," Matthew sighed. "She loves you son."

"I know." The boy said. "I don't mean it, not really."

"Then why do you make it so hard for her to understand you?" Matthew's voice was calm. "You and her are more alike than you realize."

"It was just a game Dad," George bit his lip.

He reminded him so much of Mary when he did that.

"It's not just about that." Matthew said sweetly, sitting by the bed. "She wants to make this easier on everyone."

"How?" George shot. "She hasn't asked you to come home."

Matthew's heart sank. He couldn't expect him to understand and yet he wished he could.

He wished he could mend his relationship with Mary.

"It's not that simple sweetheart." Matthew said.

"It is, it's her fault you left." George said bitterly. "She said you wouldn't leave again and you did."

"I'm right here," Matthew tried to reach for him but the little boy pulled back. "I'm not going anywhere."

George couldn't help as tears stained his cheeks; he was just ten after all. "But you did leave."

"Come here," Matthew wrapped the boy into a hug but he fought him a little. "it's not like that…"

"No, stop!" He pushed him to the side as Matthew kissed his head softly as he sobbed.

"Shh…it's alright," Matthew said softly into his hair. "I know you are mad, and you have every right to be, but don't take it out on your mother, she needs you. More than you know."

Mary was having a fit as she stomped her way back into the house; Matthew tried to keep up with her.

"Mary, wait!" He called.

She ignored him. "Leave me alone!"

"Not until you talk to me," Matthew said calmly. She rolled her eyes.

"All you want to do is talk," she spat. "Where's that ever going to take you?"

"To convince you you're good enough," He told her simply.

"I'm not," Mary said. "And I don't want to talk about it."

She was halfway up the stairs when he pulled on her arm.

"Matthew, I swear to God…" she was cut off half way by his lips and soon his teeth.

"Would you shut up?" He told her as they broke the kiss. "And listen to me?" Mary was not a child anymore. She was behaving like one for sure, but at 16, she was farther away from childhood than adulthood.

"You won't accomplish anything with kissing me," she told him. "You'll only make it worse, especially if Papa or Carson were to catch us."

"I got you to stop babbling, didn't I?" Matthew said with a glint of satisfaction.

"I do not babble," Mary said wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Winning is not the most important thing," He told her.

"It is for me," she said.

"I don't believe that," Matthew told her touching her nose softly. "And you don't either." Mary felt a warmth spread through her as he kissed her again. "And I intend to convince you otherwise."

"Convince me then," she giggled as he smiled. He kissed her again. She had been like this with Matthew for only a few months. He'd kissed her for the first time one night as she struggled to come to terms with her favorite horse being ill and he had tried to comfort her.

But Matthew had been dreaming about this for a year beforehand, it took him and entire year to kiss her.

"Will that convince you?" He asked breathlessly.

Mary bit her lip. "Convince me again."

They hadn't heard Sybil coming down the stairs and almost fell backwards at the sound of her voice.

"You want to get caught?" Sybil asked. She was only 11 and yet she had seen them kiss more than once. "You want Papa to murder you?"

Mary and Matthew laughed at her frown and crossed arms; they both knew how much Sybil had managed to cover for them and somehow almost rooted for them.

She said they were cute but couldn't stand the kissing.

"You just wait until you meet the right boy," Mary had told her.

"Papa says I can't date until I have grey hair." Sybil told her.

Mary had a feeling that would happen sooner than her poor Papa would want.

Matthew stayed in bed with George for a good half an hour. He had confessed to the talk he would have with Mary.

"To tell you the truth, I'm scared."

"I would be too," George laughed, then fell silent. "But do you think she'll ask you to come home?"

"I don't know," Matthew said. "But it's a start."

"Can I call Mom?" George asked. His father smiled.

"Of course." Matthew squeezed him gently, ruffling his hair. "I will go check on your sisters."

Mary excused herself early from dinner. She was tired and anxious. She had gotten home and slipped into bed.

"Hello?" She saw Matthew's picture appear on the screen of her phone.

"Mom?" It was George.

"Hi sweetheart, how was dinner?" Maru didn't want to sound too excited about George calling her. But oh how she missed her little boy.

She heard nothing on the other line. "George?

Sobs. Mary's first thought of something happening to Matthew. "What is it?"

"I'm sorry," George said. "I didn't mean to talk to you like that… or not talk to you at all, I just…"

"it's alright," Mary sighed. "But we have to be able to talk to each other, I'm willing to try if you are."

"Okay."

That was all she needed.

It was a start.

Mary leaned against the toilet as she managed to catch her breath.

"Mary? Everything okay?" It was Cora. "Mosley is driving you to school."

She sighed.

It was the time of the year. Her birthday was coming up and the time her age caught up with Matthew's and they were both 17.

Mary was not a bad student. In fact she excelled, she understood biology better than most thanks to Granny's blunt nature.

"I'm coming!" She called.

Most days she couldn't wait to see her boyfriend. Matthew had changed schools last summer and transferred to finish high school with her in the States, but today she was afraid to confront him as she feared the worst.

He lived with one of Reginald's sisters not far from the Crawley residence as his relationship with Mary and the family's conservative views didn't allow him to stay with them.

Especially with Robert away from the family for most of the year.

"You look terrible," Edith said as soon as her sister reached the car.

"Let's hope you're not catching something Miss Mary." Mosley told her kindly.

"Maybe Matthew gave her a bug from all the kissing," Mary heard Sybil giggle.

Oh yes, a bug.

"Mary?" he'd asked her, she had a greenish tone to her skin. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," she told him as he offered to take her bag. "I might be getting the flu."

Matthew smiled softly. "I'm sorry." He pulled a strand of her long dark hair behind her ear. "You should have stayed home."

"Not when we have winter finals next week," she said quickly.

She had spent the rest of the day avoiding him; he had different classes and only saw him at lunch. She had not regained her appetite.

"You should eat something," Mabel told her.

"Is one of your little sisters sick?" Lavinia asked.

"No, I just woke up feeling like this… I'm afraid it might be…"

"Mary, please don't say it," Lavinia said. "You've been with Matthew?"

"Yes," she said.

"Wouldn't you?" Mabel asked earning a glare from Mary. "I only mean I would not be able to resist someone like Matthew Crawley, Mary hasn't."

"Do you think you could be?" Lavinia asked worriedly.

"Where've you been? I've been looking everywhere for you." Matthew caught up with them. "What? You look like as if you've seen a ghost."

"She might as well have!" Mabel shot. "Can't you just let her be?"

Matthew glanced over at Mary.

"We'll talk later," she told him softly. "I promise."

And with that she was gone. She didn't see him for the rest of the day.

Her ever chivalrous Matthew.

He waited for her outside school at the end of the day.

"How are you feeling? Any better?"

"A little," Mary said. "Can we just, can we go to our spot?"

"Your mother will kill me if I have you home late," he said.

"I asked Lavinia to cover for me," she said.

"Is she going to be able to manage that?" he asked with worry more than mockery.

"You underestimate her, let me worry about that. Just drive."

And that he did. They went to the park, sat on the swings like those summers at Downton.

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?" Matthew asked. Mary sighed. She felt tears invade her eyes.

"Is it Robert?" Matthew asked.

"I'm just wondering if you'd love me enough to stay with me…"

"Mary, you're scaring me," he told her kneeling in front of her. "Whatever it is…"

"I think I might be pregnant."

And once again, Mary couldn't escape from those deep blue eyes.

Mary held the phone to her chest. George had called her to apologize over his behavior. Whatever Matthew had said to him seemed to have worked.

She sighed. Tomorrow was something she was looking forward to. Having Matthew home for the first time in months.

Their home.

He was on time as usual, four young children in his wake.

"I've brought ice cream," he told her nervously.

She smiled softly. "Well that's something we can all enjoy, isn't it?"

"Daddy's staying for dinner?" Maggie asked.

"I am," he beamed at her. "But we best help Mommy. Who wants to help set the table?"

"Me!" Maggie said. She grabbed Gracie's hand and moved towards the kitchen.

George rolled his eyes. "Go on then," Matthew told him. "The more we help, the sooner we eat."

Soon they were alone, as Jack had joined in, wobbling as his sisters gave him commands, Matthew turned to Mary. "So…"

"Here we are," she said. She was about to speak when a clash was heard in the kitchen.

"Mommy, Daddy!" Matthew smiled as Mary followed him.

"Do I have to?" Maggie asked as Mary put smashed beans into her plate.

"Don't you want to have ice cream later?" Mary asked.

"Yes, buuut…"

"Then you have to eat beans, that first and then ice cream," Matthew said.

Maggie sighed loudly. "Papa was extremely disappointed that he missed you, I told him you'd make it up to him." Mary said.

Matthew had told Robert he wasn't going to make it to the house as he had the children late. Of course he hadn't dared to mention he was having dinner with Mary or all hell would break loose

"I'll see him on Thursday, no problem," Matthew said. He and Matthew met for coffee every Thursday when Robert was visiting.

It was their thing and no matter the circumstances, his father in law would not allow him to miss it.

"It's best if we don't give the family any room to speculate." Mary told him.

"My lips are sealed." He said.

"Daddy, Mommy says my costume is almost ready," Gracie said excitedly.

"Is it? Do I get a peek before the actual night?"

"No, it's a surprise," Mary said.

It was so easy to fall back into a banter and routine with Matthew.

"Oh, how is that fair?"

"You should show Mommy your Beast voice Daddy," Maggie beamed. "It's sooo scary! Maybe she'll show." Mary and Matthew smiled.

Mary turned to Matthew. He lowered his face.

"I will hear it at some point, I'm sure." Mary said as she winked at him.

As the meal went on, Matthew stared more and more at his plate. He could see Mary wasn't eating much either.

Then the time came to send them off to bed. Mary asked George to put on a movie for him and the little ones in her room while she and Matthew talked. He eyed her for a moment, unsure.

I'll be right back," Mary said.

"I'll be here," he told her.

Matthew began to feel a sharp pain in his leg as stress began to rise.

Another little gift from his time overseas.

It was strange really, to be in his own home and feel like a stranger. He moved towards the living room. Pictures of the children served as main décor but one particularly caught his eye.

One of him and Mary, both in their late teens in Times Square.

"I've always loved that picture, life seemed easier back then," he heard Mary say behind him.

"It was," Matthew admitted. "Before William and my injury."

He sat down.

"Before any of it," Mary said bitterly. Matthew smiled softly. "How is physical therapy?"

"It might be for life, crutch and all but at least I didn't lose my leg. Although I suspect I'll have to depend on others for certain things. "

"You will overcome it, you've done it with worse," she told him.

"Have I?" he smiled grimly. "I suppose it's my battle scar, a reminder."

"I guess, but isn't it better not to focus on it?" She sounded harsher than intended. "Focus on moving forward?"

"I'm trying," he said. "But I can't deny it's a part of me. Because what I've lived makes me who I am, it's a part of me," he told her.

"Of course, but it's not everything," she said.

"Of course not. You and those kids are everything." Those words wheigthed like bricks on Mary.

Matthew was always the gentleman. And she had been the Ice Queen.

She swallowed hard.

"Tom says you've been going to meetings," She said. Mary saw him tense up.

"I made a promise didn't I?" Matthew said as his tone changed.

"You did," Mary moved to join him on the couch. "I'm so very proud of you." She almost reached for his hand but her fingers just lingered so close.

Matthew smiled. "It's all I've ever wanted, for you to be proud of me," he told her, sadness in his voice. "And all I did was disappoint you and be an embarrassment for my children."

"Matthew," Mary said softly. "I..."

"I don't know why I'm so nervous, last time I was like this I made love to you." Mary offered him a knowing smile.

"You don't have to be nervous around me," She said shyly. "I just want us to make this right."

"As do I." Matthew said. "I want to be worthy of you again Mary."

"Who said you were unworthy?" she asked as her breath hitched.

She closed her eyes as his hand touched her cheek. She leaned into his touch.

"I'm so sorry for all the pain I've caused you, I'm so, so sorry."

Mary felt her breath hitch as she found his strong gaze.

You couldn't hide from that pool of deep blue and all she found in them was pain and guilt.

"You weren't the the only one in pain, after you lost William… I should have done better." She said. "You were so..."

"It was never an excuse," he said bitterly. She saw tears glistening in his eyes. "I made his loss more important than what really mattered to me." He was closer to her face now. "And for that I'm truly sorry, as it cost me my family."

"It hasn't, we're all still here." She said. "I'm still here."

"Where do we go from here?" he asked, glancing down at his ring

"I honestly don't know," they heard Jack crying upstairs and broke the closeness instantly.

"I better go." He said. Mary nodded. Oh how she missed him. How she wished he would stay.

"I don't want them to get confused," Mary said. "I think it's best if we…"

She cursed silently at the longing her heart caused her.

He kissed her. His soft lips on hers and his tongue trying to access her mouth.

"Matthew, wait," she pulled him away. "We can't…"

"I know," he lowered his face. "But I so wish we could." He touched her chin softly and she leaned closer, the smell of his after shave, intoxicating her.

"Mommy!" Jack screamed.

"I have to go," she said softly as he sighed. "But will you come up and say goodnight?"

"Alright" He joined her upstairs. George eyed them suspiciously.

"Can't you stay Daddy?" Gracie asked. "Please?"

"Not tonight darling, no." Matthew said softly as he put her down and tucked her in. "I'll see you at pick up on Tuesday, sweet dreams. I love you."

"Love you Daddy," he leaned to kiss her cheek.

His heart shattered as he kissed them and said goodnight and they bagged him to stay.

Mary's eyes locked with Matthew's. "Daddy won't be so far away. I promise."

Was that a promise of something else? A glimpse of hope?

She accompanied him to the door. "I hate to leave like this," he told her.

"You have to. It's not a good idea if you stayed." Mary said.

Matthew sighed. "Of course, but... I miss you, I miss us. I feel so unlike me when you're not around."

Mary pursed her lip."It has to be like this." She was battling again with him looking at her so passionately. "It hasn't been easy for me either, in fact I haven't felt this lost since I was 17," Matthew gave her a knowing look. "But we can't just jump back, we're different people now. "

"You mean I am?" Matthew asked.

"We both are Matthew and I pray we find ourselves again soon, but it won't happen tonight." No matter how much she wanted it.

He nodded, struggling to keep his emotions at bay. "I'll see you then,"

"Drive safe." She said.

And then he was gone. He was so close and then so far, like the stars.

She had expected it to go differently ,with a lot more yelling, however Mary suspected neither of them had the energy nor the will to confuse the children even further.

As she watched him walk away, all she could do was wonder, if the yelling and the blaming would come later, however maybe they were past that and there was hope for them still.

So… no yelling! I wasn't sure if this would be the right tone of this talk but I thought this would be very much like the way their characters are built,we learned a bit of what happened to Matthew.

More angst and some yelling to come in the next few chapters.

It's the calm before the storm.

How did you like it?

TBC.