Omg I've been procrastinating again. I haven't updated in like a month! So sorry! Anyways, please enjoy this chapter!
I stared at the hospital bathroom mirror for what seemed like ages. My face was so pale, I swore I looked like a ghost.
People came in and out, glancing at me like I was a mental patient.
What happened? Why did Natsume faint?
I almost started bawling until I remembered that I was still in the toilet. I hadn't even visited him yet, I just spent all my time staring at myself in the public hospital bathroom.
I turned on the water, letting the warm water trickle down my hands before I splashed it on my face. It's about time I went to Natsume's hospital room.
I stalked through the hallways, not sure whether I'm the one visiting, or the one who needs a hospital room. I felt awful.
My heart started pounding as I neared the room, hearing faint laughter and voices coming from his room.
I peaked in, only to find a gorgeous nurse talking and laughing with Natsume, who was smiling brightly at her.
My heart clenched painfully.
I walked over to the blue hospital chairs across his room and waited for them to finish before I went in. I didn't even realize the shooting sensation of the ice cold chairs hitting my thigh as I sat down, just the feeling of my heart clenching and unclenching painfully.
I sat there staring at nothing for what seemed like ages before his hospital door clicked open and the beautiful nurse exited. She gave me a bright smile before making her way down the hallway.
I didn't even have the strength to smile back, though I wanted to. I really did.
I trudged into the white, white room, staring at Natsume who was still smiling idiotically as he stared at his phone.
"Hi." My voice was hoarse and weak. He jumped a little in his bed, obviously not realizing I was standing there.
"Oh. Hey! Sorry, I was a little...occupied." He gave me a sly grin.
"Hey you know, there was a super hot nurse just now. I got her phone number." He flashed his phone screen at me and grinned triumphantly.
"Damn she was gorgeous. When I get out of the hospital, I'll totally call her." I smiled at him, a tired smile that just magically appeared.
My cheeks started to hurt as he went on and on about how nice and pretty the nurse was.
"What was her name?" I asked, surprising both of us with my sudden question.
"Luna. Her name is Luna Koizumi." He looked at me for the first time after I entered the room and his smile instantly dropped.
"Hey, you okay?" I nodded my head slowly, not trusting my voice anymore.
"You sure? You look deadly pale. You wanna go call a doctor? We are at a hospital." He attempted to stand up but I shook my head furiously and pushed him back down.
"Don't." I choked out.
"Please, don't." My knees buckled and I fell onto the floor.
"Mikan!?" His voice had a hint of panic as he tried to pull me up, but I just clutched onto his arm as if it was the only thing keeping me alive.
I cried. I cried so loudly a nurse barged in to ask if we were okay. I cried out everything that I had been holding in; loneliness, sadness, depression, anger, jealousy but mostly because of love.
I love him.
I still do, because no matter what had happened, he was the same person that had loved me as well, who used to wrap his arms around me whenever I was upset.
I heard the nurse mumbling a quiet apology for interrupting and the door click close seconds later.
"Mikan." His voice was low and soft and soothing, it only made me cry harder.
"Mikan, hey..." He gently pet my head, my endless tears staining his sleeve.
"Shh..." He whispered into my ear as he picked me up gently, setting me next to him on the bed. His arms wrapped around me soothingly as he rocked me back and forth, whispering sweet nothings into my ear.
But he doesn't remember me.
The bitterness of that made me stop crying almost instantly, though I still wanted to. I still wanted to cry, to ease the pain. Even though he was so, so close to me, his strong arms around my waist, his head next to mine as his rich voice filled me, he was so far away.
I am nothing more than a girl who came in one day, declaring herself as his fiancé and wanting to be friends again.
His heart has no space left for me to settle in again.
I buried my face in his shirt, hiccuping and smelling in the familiar scent of his. My body slowly, slowly started relaxing but he never stopped rocking me back and forth like a child and whispering into my ear.
"I'm sorry." He whispered, his hair tickling my face.
"It's because of me, right? I know you're in a lot of pain." I buried my face deeper, my hands clutching his shirt so hard it might rip any second.
He knows nothing. How would he know? Does he know how painful it is to lose someone you love so dearly? If he was dead it might have been better. He doesn't remember me, he's so close, right in front of me, but not mine anymore.
"No." I struggled to speak.
"Hm?" His head turned slightly, his lips accidentally brushing against my cheek and it hurt. It hurt so bad.
"No." I pushed myself away, wiping my tear stained face roughly with the sleeve of my shirt. He stared at me with confusion and I stared back. I must look horrifying, but I didn't care.
"You don't know. You never will! You will never know how much it hurts to be forgotten by the person you love!" I screamed at him. He winced as my words wounded him.
"Mika—"
"No!" I screeched so loudly the whole building must have heard me.
"You don't remember when we first met, how much you were a jerk and how much I hated you." I rubbed my eyes as I felt new tears streaming down.
"You don't remember during the Christmas ball when you stole my first kiss, when we were dancing together as we insulted each other." He stayed silent, and I was grateful.
"You don't remember when I was taken away by the ESP and you did everything you could just to come see me, how much we kissed and vowed to never let each other go." I cried harder, the sweet memories were overflowing and I was unable to stop them.
"You don't remember how hard it was just to get out of the grasps of all that darkness and finally, finally be together for eternity." I pulled him closer to me, and he didn't complain.
He hugged me tight, stroking my hair with his warm hands.
"Why? Why are you touching me like you still love me?" I breathed out.
"I-I...I don't know." He admitted honestly, but he pulled me in closer instead of pushing me away and I felt even more awful.
"I'm sorry," I stared at his chest, feeling his heartbeat against my cheek. "I'm sorry. It's not like you wanted this to happen." I pulled away and we just sat there for a second, me on his lap, none of us looking at each other.
"I'm sorry." He whispered again and I shook my head.
"Please." I murmured before I leaned in and gave him a quick peck on the lips. He stared at me wide-eyed, but didn't let go of my waist.
"Please, next time, take Luna to the amusement park instead of me, okay?" I gave him a small smile, before I struggled out of his grip and ran out the door, my footsteps heavy.
"Wai—Mikan!" I heard him call my name as he fought his way out of the covers of the hospital bed and prepared to chase me.
I ran harder, people staring at me, but I didn't care. I turned the corner, bumping into someone.
"Oh! I'm so sorry. Are you alright?" I stared at Luna, her strawberry blonde hair in a neat bun and her azure eyes full of worry.
"Are you Luna Koizumi?" I asked dumbly, panic surging through me as I heard Natsume's footsteps getting closer and closer.
"I...Yes, I'm Luna Koizumi." She seemed confused at how I knew her name.
"Please, can you help me?" I begged urgently as his footsteps seemed to be right behind me.
"Y-Yes?"
"Natsume. Natsume Hyuuga, the patient in room 306, can you please take care of him for me?" She seemed surprised at my request and she stared at me blankly for a few seconds.
"Please! Please, I'm begging you. Please take care of him in my place." I clasped her smooth and soft hands in my sweaty ones.
She nodded her head once and that was all I needed before I screamed out a 'thank-you' and ran into the elevator that was just closing.
"Mikan!" I could still hear his voice even when the elevator started moving.
Whew, finally finished the 4th chapter. I'm so glad I'm getting more and more people to read this story! Thanks guys! So, how was it? Good, bad, can be improved? Comments, suggestions and criticism are all very welcome!
Btw, I was thinking making a one-shot songfic, but I'm terribly outdated in songs, so I was wondering if anyone has a good song that could be turned into a wonderful fanfic! PM or review for suggestions please. Thanks! XD
R&R Please!