June 7, 1845
Dear Pamella,
Home seems like a distant memory as we board the train, miles away from the town we lived in. I find the darlings to be quite nice to be with and Anna is great company for Terry. She and Terry get along so well, they never leave the other tired of waiting for excitement. Everything is adventure to them and it seems I have the same spirit. I'm always drawing what the carriage we ride in passes. There is so much that I've drawn, maybe I can show you later. I even caught glimps of a castle and stopped the carriage and we sat and enjoyed it while sipping on a honey wine that Mrs. Darling was able to get hold of. And although I normally do not agree with Terry drinking any type of alcohol, I allowed it this time.
But you must be wondering about the older daughter of the Darlings. Elsa is her name. She and I talked on that afternoon by the palace. We talked about small things and it was nice because she was nosey, nor was she narrow minded. Anna kept giving Elsa looks and whispering things that would make her blush, and I think Elsa has a fondness towards me but never had the courage to speak with me because of my affairs with Astrid. Speaking of Astrid, we had fought before I left. Maybe I've mentioned our problems before, maybe I haven't. I can't quite remember.
But Elsa asked me about her, and if she is following. "No… I left her." I told Elsa and even if her eyes gleamed for a moment, she got a bit of a somber look. "She loved you a lot you know. A lot of girls did." She told me, and it made me think. "Why?" I asked her, because I didn't really understand that. "Because no man is as handsome or as good as a determined one." And that was that of the conversation. But I wanted to ask if she loved me or why she knew this about astrid or if she was ever friends with Astrid and the thought of loving the same man grew a parting in their friendship. I wondered if Elsa was confident about herself like Astrid was. I don't know why I was thinking of all these things, but I just wanted to know. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad… Maybe I would even come to like Elsa as much as some of the other boys did, because they said she had a flair that most girls didn't.
June 15, 1845
Dear Pamella,
We are boarding the Final train today to the central docks. Since we lived so far north and so far to the west, it took a while to get there. Train hopping and carriage riding. We are fed any time that we want on the trains. The food is delicious and fresh from other countries. The beef stew is amazing and reminds me of the one mother used to make. I make sure Terry has meats at least twice a day, even if its just some of the dried beef they have as a snack.
There is an old Lady with her husband that I have grown aquainted to, but they are not too old, but maybe in their mid fifties. I think that they are the most darling things… Their names are Mister and Misses Carp. They are like grandparents to me, Mister Carp always giving me books to read. He has a whole suitcase of them. I read them slowly, taking my time. I want to save some for the boat ride. We both are going to live in New York until we find elsewise. The Darlings and us are living in the same two family house. I said I would help pay rent by going to work. I have nothing else to do, and going to school seems absolutely pointless.
I love the Carps, they make me feel at home. I'm having dinner with them tonight. Maybe I'll tell them about you Pam. You know how much I miss you, maybe you would have come with us instead of mom and dad. But I know you are out there awaiting us somewhere. Are you in America living a good farmers life in california like you did when you were with us at home? Or are you working on the assembly lines working up to be boss and making money like no other? I hope you are living a good life, because I cannot see you living a poor one like you used to. Pamella, I miss you. I wish you would mail me and tell me where you are. I hope you are in America, so that way I am one step closer to finding you.
June 18, 1845
Dear Pamella,
I'd never seen such a beautiful thing! The docs was full of people who had come from England and foreign lands on our docs to catch the cheaper, two way boat ride that required loads of transportation to these central shore docks. They are nothing like I've seen before. There were women in skirts piled high on their waists and strange powders caked on their faces. Some had lips, glossy red and I could see Elsa looking at them.
"Its so strange, the products they use." She whispered to me. Many probably understood english and were trying to learn for their journey over to America.
"American women use them to I think. One of my friends from the docks, Jay, he sent me a picture of an American girl he is going to marry and buy into her wealth. He painted the picture and she had shiny red lips with rosy powder covered cheeks." We were now linked arm to arm, whispering to each other. Terry trudged closely in front of me, moving ever so slowly. I patted his shoulder as if to say it was okay, and he looked up and smiled at us.
"I wish I was as beautiful." Elsa said. "As the American girls." Pamella, this confused me. Why would a girl as beautiful as Elsa is want to look like the American girls? She was practically an angel with milky white skin and naturally pink lips, with white blonde hair that had streaks of gold. And do not get me started on her eyes, a blazing ice blue that could glow in the dark. She was much more beautiful than the american girls that we saw on the trains American newspapers and magazines.
I looked down at the petit girl linked to my arm and I didn't know what to say. Truthfully, I don't where my words came from. I just blurted it out. Contrary, I'm much too embaressed to write what I told her, and I could swear I was probably three shades of red because she laughed and smiled and thanked me. Then Anna turned around and said something about what a handsome couple we made.
In all other news, solstice is in almost a week, maybe even two. I hope we get to celebrate, because we always celebrated the solstice at home with stews and cakes and cold beverages to greeet the summer. Not too mention, I am on the boat now and it is mid afternoon. Elsa had scurried to her cabin and stayed in their, I am here on the deck, sitting in one of the chairs with . He is reading a book, and I said I would maybe read the book he gave me tomorrow.
I've never been on a boat, it feels shaky and I don't much like it. Terry found some boys to play with and the language barrier wasn't much a problem because they were just chasing each other and none of them really cared. I'm glad Terry is getting along with people because normally he is shy around other boys and girls that he isn't much familiar with. I think at this point, he just wants to release all his pent up energy.
I should mention the cots for women and men are separated. And I don't think of mentioned the Darling Parents, but yes they are okay. Pam, I could tell you, that their parents might be our own the way they treat us. And I think I have a growing fondness for Elsa, not the way I did when I began to date Astrid when we were young. It's a more genuine fondness and I enjoy liking someone with such a passion, but at the same time, I feel embaressed thinking of her with such a fondness.
Maybe, more than likely, Elsa and I will have to wed, just to keep money ties lesser of, but truthfully, I am okay with that. I don't think life with Elsa could be so bad if I had to be honest. I miss you dearly pam, but I will find you one day and I will hand you this book with everything happening to me since you left. Just like you asked. I still can't help but wonder where you are. Once I am settled down and maybe started a family, I will collect all the money I can. I will search for you. Maybe I will work in the assembly lines and find you and maybe I will work my way up to a cooperate office like the boy I used to work on the docks with who married the American girl. But I don't much want an American girl like he did, I want a girl like the ones back home who know how to work and don't need maids to cook and clean for them. A lady that can help carry out tradition because like my father, I'd wake up and help her before I go to work.
I want a life that is like the one I would've lived at home. And maybe if we did get the hope and dreams and money that they say we will in America and work really becomes too much for, maybe I will consider grabbing a maid. But really, I don't want life to be drastically changed. Then what would I have left to hold on to?
Wow! This is actually almost three pages! The entries are going to get longer as the story progresses. I would just like to say that these aren't really chapters, more so just journal entries. If this were a book, they would just be continuous journal entries, kind of like Perks of Being a Wallflower or those Dear America books if you remember those? I remember I read a couple of those, one was A CoalMiners Bride, and it was from the girls POV but it mentioned a bit of what happened in the mines, so this is more in Hiccups POV and we will deal with the mines hands on. I actually really recommend that Dear America book, even if I read it three years ago. I think those are interesting and most are historically accurate. They can be pretty serious and the writing isn't that bad. I suggest A Coal Miners Bride more than any of them though. Theres another two I remember enjoying, but I can't recall the names of them. Oh well. Updating soon ~A.M.E