James left the hall 10 minutes after Lily. He saw that she was talking to Sirius and looked guilty. He walked down cautiously in the shadows and hid behind a tree. Lily was saying how she thought that he would have been the one wanted to tell Sirius that they were engaged instead of her. Once Sirius started to reply he couldn't believe what he was hearing. His best friend was in love with his fiancée. And Lily knew. She had known and had never said a word to him. He decided to confront them.
James came out of the shadows, "Is this true?" His anger shone through his normally calm eyes and the hard lines on his face. "Is this true?" he repeated in a more forceful tone.
Sirius' eyes which were laced with guilt connected with the hazel ones which stared at him with intense anger. "Yes it is true." Sirius finally replied.
"And you never bothered to tell me? Never once thought that I should know? Why did neither of you tell me?" James asked with exploding rage.
Lily was intense with emotion but managed to speak in a soothing voice, "Neither of us wanted to hurt you. When I first found out I wouldn't have told you because I didn't really like you that much then. Even when we started going out I couldn't tell you because I didn't want this to happen. I didn't want the both of you to argue or fall out over me. Im just a girl and your friendship is worth more than me."
Both boys stood there in amazement. They never thought Lily would say something like that. They both knew however that she was right; their friendship was worth more than a girl, even if it was Lily. They also knew that it wasn't going to be easy getting through this.
"I never told you because I knew how much you loved her. I didn't want you to think that there was competition between us. As much as I love her I knew that you were more worthy to be with her than I was. You were the one who said you were going to marry her on the very first train ride to Hogwarts and now you are."
James stared at the both of them in disbelief. He knew that they were not lying to him but he could not believe what he was hearing. They never told him the truth because they never wanted to hurt him. In addition Lily thought their friendship was worth more than her.
James speaking in a calm voice asked Sirius "When did you realise you loved Lily?"
"Last year. I had known for a month or two that I felt something for her but I didn't know what it was. It wasn't until after I played a prank on Snivellus and she was shouting at me that I realised. Then I did something you'd never forgive me for, I kissed her. I felt so guilty I only just managed to ask her not to tell you."
"What has Rose got to do with this?" James said remembering Sirius' date.
"I originally told you I .liked her so you wouldn't suspect I was in love with Lily instead"
"So you played with her emotions to get me off the trail?" James interrupted.
"No. I like Rose and think she's great but she isn't Lily. I've tried and trying to let go of Lily and the only way I've found to do that is concentrating on other things I like, including Rose. It's my way doing it. Graduation is supposed to be a time to celebrate the past and yet move on at the same time. It's a time of change and that's what im trying to do. Change my feelings for lily so they are more platonic." Sirius explained.
James nodded his head to show that he had understood everything the both of them had said. "I know you said you would never deliberately hurt me but why didn't you ask Lily out? If it was last year then there was no way Lily would have wanted me."
"There are two reasons. The first is that she would have said no as she thought that we were as bad as each other. The second was because I had a divided loyalty, I was torn. Torn between my loyalty to you, my best friend and the loyalty to my heart and I chose the one to you. Your friendship meant and still means more to me." Sirius said knowing now that Lily wouldn't take offence at what he had said. "I can't imagine what you are feeling but please believe us."
"I do believe you both. It's just hard to take in. I never thought you felt that way. You did a very convincing job that you didn't like that way you know." James said as he let out a shaky laugh.
"I'll leave you two alone and get back to Rose, if she's still there." Sirius said and started walking back up to the castle where the party was still going on.
"Im sorry James, I really am. I never would have wanted you to have found out like this. I swear I never did anything to encourage him at all. I always walked away if we were alone in the same room-"
"Stop Lily, please stop." Lily fell silent at these words and James carried on "I know you wouldn't do anything to encourage him especially after we started going out. Its ok, I know that you love me, you wouldn't have said yes if you didn't" he said gesturing to the engagement ring on her finger. "It's just im trying to get my head around the fact that my best friend who is more like my brother loves my fiancée. It's going to take a lot of effort for things to be right the way they were before."
Sirius turned around and stared down at his best friend and the woman he loved. For something inside of him had changed during that small but important talk, he could finally begin to see Lily in a platonic way even though his feelings were the same. Maybe this is what he needed to move on, for it to all come out in the open with James. At least he knew she would be happy with him. Now just to tell Mooney and explain things to Rose he thought.