A/N: I love writing angst and I love reading it. Does that mean I enjoy the tears that inevitably stream down my face when reading angst? ABSOLUTELY NOT!

Enjoy!

Day 4: Angst

Summary: Ace remembers the anchor that weighs him down.

At first, Ace hadn't realized it, but he didn't deserve Marco.

The phoenix was amazing. Although serious at times, he was a true free spirit. The older man had been with Pops from the very beginning of the Whitebeard Pirates and as the first mate, he had gotten to know many other people.

People that were better for Marco.

In the amount of time the two had been together, Ace never felt this way. Before that, their relationship consisted of happy kisses and (very) lazy cuddling. Ace loved how the man would get concerned about him whenever he did something unusual. He loved how he was allowed to sleep in the phoenix's bed and wake up next to him. He loved just being near the man.

Ace guessed that he had been blinded by that happiness of being with Marco, that he had forgotten just exactly who he was. It was the anchor that weighed him down.

Gol D. Ace: Son of the Pirate King.

The negative words he heard all that time ago seemed to echo in his mind.

"A son of Roger? Someone like that doesn't deserve to exist!"

"He should be killed on the spot!"

Now, Ace could hear the laughs of the drunkards more than ever, yet he didn't feel the burning anger. He only felt a crushing heartache.

And so he avoided Marco, trying to figure out how to tell him. He was desperate to hide, skipping meals and neglecting work. He was sure that he looked extremely unhealthy and pale.

Ace often ran over the scenario in his mind, trying to calculate how it would work out and what he would do when Marco inevitably rejected him. Unfortunately, no matter what he did, he hadn't been able to work up the nerve to confess. Ace just let the anxiety bloom until eventually, it felt suffocating.

It was selfish, but he didn't want to let go of Marco.

Now it was midnight on January 1st: Ace's birthday. There was no better time than now to tell him. The day that someone as worthless as Ace had come into this world. Everyone was drinking and partying for the New Year, so they were all distracted. Quietly, he approached his lover, a mug of rum shaking in his hands. He lifted a still shaking hand from the mug and tugged on Marco's shirt.

"Marco…" he whispered. The older man turned to him with a smile, but it turned to a look of concern as soon as he saw the low-spirited look on Ace's face.

"What's wrong, yoi?" he asked, gently placing a hand on the young pirate's shoulder.

"I need to talk to you," Ace continued. "Alone."

Marco was concerned about Ace. He had been avoiding Marco for a while now, and it was worrying him to death. The younger one was skipping meals, which was obviously unhealthy for a vacuum like Ace, and whenever Marco caught glimpses of him, he looked pale. He could tell that his lover was obviously concerned about something, but he just couldn't figure it out. Their relationship had been smoothly sailing along, and as far as Marco could tell, he did nothing wrong. Sometimes he thought that there was only one answer.

Ace had moved on.

Marco hated the thought, but it made his heart clench. Just spending time with Ace made him happy. Ace gave him something that no one else could: completeness. Ace wasn't perfect, but that's why Marco loved him. Sure the boy could be goofy and irresponsible, but it made Marco feel that he had to take care of him. When Marco was too stressed out or grumpy from paperwork, Ace was always there for him.

Marco didn't know what he would do without him. He didn't even know if he could let Ace go.

Now it was New Year's and the brat, his brat, was nowhere to be found. Leaning against the railing, Marco swirled the rum in his mug. He found it hard to enjoy the festivities without Ace. The boy was just so full of energy that, even if they weren't together, any party felt strange without him. Sighing, he continued to watch his drunken comrades dance foolishly around the deck.

After some time, Marco heard footsteps approach him from behind. He didn't need to look to know who it was. The older man smiled as he felt a soft tug at the back of his shirt.

"Marco..."

He turned to his lover, but frowned upon seeing Ace's expression. "What's wrong, yoi?"

The young man bit his lip and looked away. Finally, he continued, "Marco... I need to talk to you. Alone."

Hearing this, Marco could feel his stomach twist.

With a gentle hand, Marco led the two of their shared room. He sat down on the bed and gestured for Ace to sit next to him, but instead the fire user stayed standing.

"So, what do you want to talk about, yoi?" he asked, keeping his composure. Inside, Marco was panicking. He tried to stay calm, but he couldn't help clasping his hands together. He couldn't help thinking, 'Maybe this is the end.'

Ace was having similar thoughts, so he was hesitant to respond right away. He didn't want Marco to leave him, but it the only outcome he could imagine. He could practically see the look of disgust on Marco's face when he finally found out, but there was no backing out now.

He couldn't stop himself from trembling, but he managed to start speaking. "It's my birthday today, Marco."

Marco looked a bit surprised at this as he cut off Ace's words. "Why didn't you tell me, yoi?" he exclaimed with relief. "We'll do something special at the next island. I promise." And then he stopped, seeing that Ace's clear anxiety had not vanished. There was still more to it, wasn't there?

"Hear me out, Marco," the younger pirate continued. "You don't have to do anything like that because after tonight, you won't want to."

Marco could feel a bit of anger surge up inside of him. Why would Ace ever think that? "And why the hell would that be, yoi?"

Ace took a deep breath. It was now or never.

The two could feel their own heartbeats speed up in preparation for heartbreak. Both were sure that the other was going to end it, but neither wanted to let go.

"The truth is... My real name is Gol D. Ace. My father was the Pirate King."

So that was it. It was no secret that Whitebeard and Roger were rivals, but for Ace to think Marco would break up with him just because of that? Marco couldn't say that he wasn't shocked. Considering how old Ace was (twenty years old now), it shouldn't even be possible.

Marco was so deep in thought that he hadn't noticed Ace choking back sobs.

"That's it, okay? Just say you don't want me and I'll leave. We can pretend we were never together. Things will go back to how they were!"

Suddenly Ace felt Marco pull him into his arms. He knew his lover was trying to be comforting, but it only hurt more. His sobs intensified as he gasped for air, and Marco embraced him harder.

"Shhh, Ace. Stop crying, yoi," the man whispered, stroking Ace's hair. "Listen to me. I don't give a damn about who your father is!"

The crying quieted and he heard a soft voice ask, "You don't?"

Marco shook his head. "Pops and Roger may have been rivals, but they didn't hate each other. All that matters is that you're you. That's why I love you, Ace." He pulled away to look at his lover. "I'll never want to leave you," he said as he wiped away Ace's tears.

'How could I have been so stupid?' Ace thought. 'I never thought about how Marco would feel.'

The feeling of love warmed his heart once again as the two leaned in to kiss. It wasn't overly intimate or passionate, but in that moment that's all they needed.

"Thank you, Marco," Ace breathed out when they pulled away from each other.

The phoenix smiled and pulled Ace to bed. Ace buried his face in Marco's chest and Marco kissed Ace's forehead. As they drifted off to sleep, Marco whispered, "Happy birthday, Ace."

And for Ace, the anchor vanished.