Okay, something new... Thank you, to all who have reviewed, and to you who have added this story to the alert list. [Adopts Game Show Host Voice] And the special readers are...! Giz13, bookinspired, forevertrueblue, fangirl371, edward-perfers-brunettes95, and bitemebcbd13. THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

Grown up and leading her life the way she'd always seen it, Raven lives in 'Hipsterville" working in the Coffin Club. Suddenly a tragic event brings her back to "Dullsville," where she's confronted by the Soccer Snob she hadn't seen since their shared kiss.

Ten Years Later, And Yet...

Chapter 4: Why, Exactly, Do Things Turn Out This Way With Us?

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters... This is just a continuation of Your Monster... Ellen Schreiber's characters!

"I'm not going to say sorry, you know," I said, huffing under my breath as I stood in the bathroom, the door cracked open slightly so Trevor and I could talk as I brushed my hair and got dressed. I know, it's scary. But I trusted Trevor just enough to where I knew he didn't want to be hit in that place more than once, let alone more than once in the same morning.

I hurriedly put on my bra, and then shimmied into a long, black shirt which had the edges of the sleeves lines with a black and white plaid design, as well as the collar, which dipped down into a v-neck. Around my waist, I tied a long ribbon that had the same plaid design on it. I slipped a pair of white leg warmers up my calves, then slipped my feet into my mom's black peep-toe high heels that I had found in the darkest corner of her closet.

"I wasn't really expecting an apology," Trevor muttered as I left the bathroom, turning to face him where he sat, leaning back against the hallway wall. "I don't even know why I'm here, if I'm honest."

Not expecting that, I tilted my head to the side and peered down at the blond-haired man as he bent his knees and leaned forward to rest his forehead against them. I carefully knelt down and brought myself to sit beside him, averting my gaze so he wouldn't be uncomfortable, were he to look up.

"Trevor... How about I come clean for a minute, here? I'll never admit it to anyone else, mind you," I warned him quickly. "But," I continued with a sigh. "Alexander left me that night. You know that much. I was vulnerable. But I also wanted it to last. With Alexander and me. And then we kissed. That was nothing new between us, but at the same time, it was. I didn't expect to want to kiss you, to enjoy it more than just the physical part."

I curled up, hugging my knees to my chest as I wrapped my arms around my thighs, positioning my hands beneath myself so that my most intimate region was somewhat covered. Not that Trevor hadn't seen it earlier. Not that Trevor was looking, either.

"I did, though. I was growing attached to you, emotionally. You have no idea how scary that was. It was hell for me. To like someone who, for years, had been so contradicting toward me with his behavior! Going from insulting me to kissing me, getting drunk and letting me lead you on like that," I broke off with a soft laugh.

In my peripherals, I saw Trevor turn his head so that he was laying on his knees in what looked to be an uncomfortable way. He opened his mouth, and said, "That was mean, Raven. I never told you that before, but I was embarrassed. To have been put in that position by you, of all people, was humiliating. Not that anyone knew, other than Farm Girl, I hope. That isn't the case. It was horrible to know that you'd led me on like that!"

I snapped my gaze to meet his with furrowed eyebrows. "Trevor! Don't play that way with me. I knew you were only going to play with me, then turn around and brag about how you got the goth girl! I was somewhat enjoying that moment, thank you very much, until I was absolutely positive that you were only going to drop me after. I wasn't interested in you, don't misunderstand," I muttered, clenching my jaw and looking away from my ex-nemesis.

"But it was nice," I continued in a small voice. "Nice to be touched and held, kissed like I meant something. I wasn't ever exposed to that before that night. And after that, it was exposure to Alexander... Which was very different. He was too careful!" I growled, before realizing that I may have said far too much. I looked at Trevor warily, to gage his reaction.

Thankfully, he didn't realize I'd been referring to the Sterling family secret; the fact that Trevor had guessed correctly – even if he was only joking – had been terrifying for Alexander and I at the time. It was so hard to be away from Alexander back then, knowing that the secret was potentially ruined by someone who didn't even really know! The key was that no one believed him...

"If it was nice, and you knew that you felt for me," Trevor began quietly, moving to stand in the hallway, "why did you run away from it? You disappeared before I even had the chance to visit you the next day, for Chrissakes, Raven! Do you know how hard that was to accept?! Not even your parents knew why exactly, you just had to go to that town that day. It was so... Frustrating," he finished, glaring down at me.

I felt guilty; Trevor was right. It was wrong of me to have done that, especially after we'd kissed, and I'd claimed myself as his monster girl. But it was hard... I don't think he could quite understand. And he never would be able to...

I brought myself to my feet carefully, brushing imaginary dust off of my backside before turning to look at Trevor. "You don't know what it's like to be ready to be with someone, have them abandon you, and then suddenly you're feeling these crazy things for someone you thought you didn't like," I said slowly, fidgeting under his hard stare.

Trevor scoffed. "You're right. I've never been abandoned. But I've also never had anyone, besides Matt, who had known the real me. Everyone at that school saw me as the soccer star. The popular jock. They thought I was perfect. But you didn't like me, even a little bit! We would argue and bite back at each other like it was nothing, and I assume it was nothing to you, but to me... It was a chance to just be myself."

Trevor turned away from be and began to walk down the stairs. I followed him slowly, and he paused a few feet away from the bottom of the steps. I stopped on the last stair, looking down at Trevor's back. "And then, you were mine. For just one night, you were mine. I expected it to last. But I was wrong. You were gone the next morning. Not one argument, not even a word to me; you just disappeared. For ten years, Raven."

"Trevor--" I started, my voice quiet as I tried to understand the pain he seemed to be feeling.

"No." Turning to look at me, Trevor gave a small smile. "I would think that you, of all people, would understand this, Raven. Alexander left you after two years. But, imagine if you'd had him around since kindergarten. How much worse would the pain be?"

With that question hovering in the air, Trevor walked away, silently leaving my parents' house as he left me to the realization that he really did have that situation worse than I did. "I'm such an idiot," I muttered, taking the final step down as I made my way to the phone and dialed Becky's number.

Some quality time with my best friend was in order. Plus we had catching up to do. "Now, why didn't you tell me you were pregnant, Becky?" I asked in a slightly menacing voice when she answered the phone.

But my head wasn't all there... Part of it was with Trevor, and the fact that he'd really been hurt by my decision to up and leave...

Why, Exactly, Do Things Turn Out This Way With Us?||End

Hi! Okay, this is the first true Author's Note! ...Sorry about the short length of the first four chapters. I've no clue how long that little bad habit will last, but this is where I see each chapter ending, so it can't be too bad... Right? I'm thinking of ways to turn this little story of ours topsy-turvy, and I welcome suggestions, although I have a few things in mind of my own. I'll make a poll when I get a couple suggestions, and add my own as well!

Here are the images of the outfit I used in the beginning of this chapter. Just remove the spaces...

The dress\top thingy:http:// www. amiclubwear. com/ clothing- top- c5- 35002black. html

The leg warmers:http:// www. amiclubwear. com/ clothing- hosiery- ami0142white. html

The shoes: http:// www. amiclubwear. com/ shoes- heels- lina- 01black. html

Thank you! See you next time.

Mari