Twenty-One

"The kingdom looks wonderful Artie, you must be doing a good job," Fiona smiled warmly at the young king.

"Yeah!" Donkey jumped in enthusiastically, "Man, I knew you could do it!"

The group had already exchanged greetings, the triplets nearly trampling their poor grandmother, and Puss had reluctantly found Donkey. Now the family sat in a perfectly polished room being offered tiny cups of tea. Shrek could feel the unease begin to sink in. Memories from when he was almost a king flooded back. He internally shook them off; trying his best to bring himself back to the present. There was no point thinking about that, it was in the past, it almost seemed a life time ago.

Artie looked down sheepishly and smiled a little in return to the compliments, "Sure, I mean, I'm doing okay I guess. It's difficult sometimes, but Aunt Lillian is always there to help," he spared a glance to the once queen, though she didn't acknowledge his speech. She was being thoroughly distracted by the children who had sat as closely as they could to her and were talking at her in muted voices. She hadn't stopped smiling since they arrived. "She's not going to be for much longer though," he laughed uneasily, "I'm twenty-one soon."

Donkey cocked his head in confusion, "What's wrong with being twenty-one? Isn't that s'posed to be all those parties and princesses you spoke about before?" he laughed cheerily.

Shrek shot him a brief irritated glare as Artie smiled sadly. "Not for me, Donkey."

"Hey," Shrek caught his attention, "It's better than Worcestershire, kid."

Artie smiled, genuinely, "Yeah, yeah it is." Shrek then watched his eyes trail off and his smile widen a little. The ogre followed his gaze and found a maid standing in the doorway, she was smiling back at the king, bringing a tray of tiny food things that Shrek had no interest for. "Thanks Abbey," he spoke as she placed it down on the table.

"You're welcome, Your Majesty," the small blonde replied, she then turned her eyes to the family, "Your Highnesses," she dipped into a hurried curtsy and then disappeared as quickly as she came.

"That's Abbey," Artie spoke into the small silence, seeming as if he was explaining himself, "She's one of my friends here."

"The maid?" Puss enquired.

"Yeah!" Donkey exclaimed, "I thought you'd a been hanging around with nobles and men in high boots and girls in frilly dresses, you know..."

"Royals?" Shrek chuckled a little.

Artie wrinkled his nose in disgust. Shrek caught Fiona giving a bemused look at the young adult.

"I mean, they're alright, I guess," he shrugged, glancing at Lillian uncomfortably, "Just none of them were kids like I was and some of the people who work here, they were or are. I have a group of friends here... I don't know, we just get along."

"It's okay, Artie," Fiona finally laughed, "I know what you mean."

"But señor," Puss was concerned, "Why so down about your twenty-first birthday, it should be a time for celebrations, no?"

"Ah," Artie cast his gaze downwards, "Yeah, well my training period would have ended and Aunt Lillian won't be following me around anymore so I'm officially on my own..." he looked over to his aunt who met his gaze.

"Arthur, you have nothing to worry about," she smiled benevolently at him before a small voice tugged her attention away again.

The king laughed nervously, "And then, as well as that, I have to get... I have to..." he trailed off, looking lost for words.

"You have to get married, don't you?" Fiona sat forward, brows knitting in concern.

Artie nodded wordlessly, looking grimmer than perhaps Lillian would have liked, thankfully she wasn't watching. Shrek suddenly regretted his previous statement. Being forced to marry perhaps wasn't better than the awful high school he had to endure, that would have only been for two more years, marriage was a lifetime. Fiona's eyes were suddenly on him, Shrek knew she wanted him to say something, to cheer him up. But the ogre had nothing.

"Why don'cha just marry that girl?" Donkey chuckled, almost missing the tone of the conversation.

"Wait... What?" Artie stuttered, confused. Donkey nodded towards the door. "Abbey? No, I couldn't-We're just friends!"

"Yeah right-"

"I don't have many friends," Artie ended the animal's speech, "And I've never had many friends, so sorry if I look at her differently to other people" he gave the animal a reprimanding glare, "Besides, she not- she's not royal. That's the point."

"What does that matter?"

"I wasn't like Fiona, or normal heirs," he gestured to the ogress, "I wasn't brought up in a royal environment or anything. I guess I need someone with experience to rule with me... or something like that."

"Oh man, Artie! That's a rough deal!" Donkey exclaimed. In all truthfulness Shrek was close to kicking the animal.

"Mom?" Fiona brought Lillian back to the conversation, "Does he really have to do that? Marry a stranger?"

"I'm afraid so," Lillian nodded gravely, gently shushing the children's mild protests, "I don't have any say in events like this one. It's a rather unusual situation, having someone almost completely unknown to royalty step into the crown on their own. Usually we simply pass on the throne to our children, or a relative who is ready and waiting."

"Oh," Fiona dropped her gaze. Shrek knew she felt guilty about passing on her role as heir to someone else. Not guilty enough to take it back, but bad nonetheless. She knew her parents were waiting to crown her queen since the moment they realised they couldn't have a son. They were probably excited about it too. But that wasn't her destiny. Shrek had seen to that.

"Who you gonna marry then, Artie?" Donkey pushed on with his questions.

"I've met someone already," he admitted, scratching the back of his neck.

"Ah! That's good news señor!" Puss leapt upon the arm of the chair Artie sat in, "Tell us, is she pretty?" the cat chuckled.

"Actually I've never seen her," the king shook his head, "We've only exchanged a few letters... but she seems okay."

"Good," Fiona chimed in, her voice quiet.

"Hate t' break it to ya kid, but ye don't have long t' meet her," Shrek raised his eyebrows.

"Yeah..." Artie's mouth curled into a sheepish smile, "I needed to ask you guys something, well Shrek, Donkey, and Puss..." they nodded for him to continue, "I kinda wanted you to come with me to get her." Shrek felt his face unintentionally drop. "It's not a long trip!" Artie apparently watched his change of expression, "It's a couple of day's journey over the sea. I thought maybe we could leave tomorrow and get it out of the way?"

"Oh yeah!" Donkey jumped to his feet, "Man, we haven't been on an adventure in years!"

"It's hardly an adventure, burro," Puss rolled his eyes, "Of course I shall join you. We'll be telling tales of the great King Arthur fetching his bride for many years to come," the cat removed his hat and swooped into a practised bow.

Shrek heaved a sigh, "We'd better stay out of trouble. I don't wanna have t' pay another visit to that teacher of yers, Artie," he smiled despite himself. Puss and Donkey both met each other's eyes and shuddered.

Shrek lay awake, staring at the canopy of the bed. It was past the time the triplets usually woke up; he knew he should've been thankful and enjoying the extra sleep like his wife was. In fact, it was odd that Fiona was sleeping so soundly at this time, though the carriage journey didn't leave them much in the way of rest. Shrek was so exhausted he was out as soon as his head hit the pillow. It felt so good to be sleeping in a bed rather than a carriage. But now, he had been awake for quite a while, noticing all the little differences. The bed was much too cushy for his liking, the sheets too soft against his skin. It was also hot. The sun shined year round in Far Far Away, and the heat was just as consistent. They almost permanently kept the balcony doors open. After a little debate they left the kids balcony doors open too. After three separate complaints of it being too hot, they relented. The ogre sighed resoundingly, he wasn't going to see them or Fiona for the next couple of days. It made him dread the thought of leaving far more than he would have expected. Fiona had reasoned with him, saying how it would be good to get away, for it to be just them guys again, to have a break from the kids. But it still didn't sit right with him. Every time Shrek seemed to step away from his family things spiralled out of control. It would be different if they were staying safe at home. It was odd how he saw the heavily guarded castle as more dangerous than their open swamp. He sat up, careful not to wake his wife, and stared at her for a few moments. After the last adventure he'd had, he daren't let them go.

Shrek finally gave a sigh and stood. There was no point in laying awake for any longer. It was already much too late for the triplets to still be absent. He crept out of his room and paused at the door next to his. Well, they certainly weren't sleeping as he heard their frantic whispers and giggles. It was odd when they didn't wake up their parents, it usually meant they were up to something. He opened their door, to find the room seemingly empty. It wasn't; he could hear their hushed giggles from inside the wardrobe. Shaking his head a little, the ogre couldn't help but smile.

"Well," he began loudly, "I don't know where the kids are if they're not in bed," he continued to watch the wardrobe as the laughter from within got a little louder. "Perhaps they're under the bed," he didn't bother looking. He folded his arms, and began slowly approaching their hiding place, "No? Well perhaps they're in the war-"

The triplets jumped out giving their best roars. Shrek grinned before purposefully staggering back a little. He couldn't help but laugh at them, tossing them one by one onto the bed, interrupting their celebrations. They burst into fits of giggles as they rolled about the bed sheets, half fighting with each other to sit up.

"We were hiding, daddy! Did we surprise you?" Fergus jumped up and down.

"Did we? Did we?" Farkle jumped up, latching onto his father's shoulder as Shrek adjusted the pillows to sit on the bed.

"Aye, ye did," he chuckled, playfully pushing the child back down onto the bed as he took a seat beside them.

"We were practising our hiding skills!" Felicia threw herself backwards onto the pillows and pulled the blankets over her mouth to mask her giggles. Farkle jumped, aiming to land on his sister but Shrek caught him, he squirmed to free himself.

"Oh aye? What for?" Shrek laughed, letting the wriggling child go.

"We-"

Fergus threw his hands over Felicia's mouth, muffling her words, "Umm, secret missions!" he exclaimed for her.

Shrek raised his eyebrows as Farkle joined the giggling heap of children, "Well, I hope these secret missions don't involve me or yer mom."

"Hmm... Maybe!" Farkle was the only one free to speak at that moment, Felicia and Fergus fighting to cover each other's mouths, though their brother's words seemed to distract them.

"Shh!" they both threw a hand at his face too.

Shrek laughed. He guessed they'd be carrying out their 'secret mission' for the rest of the day. In typical circumstances that would probably be useful to Fiona, it'd keep them occupied while he was gone. But in the castle, this mission of theirs could be anything.

"Hey, hey, hey," he separated the triplets, whose game was starting to turn into real fighting. "Ye've gotta be careful with what mischief you get into here," he couldn't be caught condoning the mischief, Grimm knows they'd tell their mother if he did. "You best be good fer mom..." he hesitated as they all looked at him, their smiles fading, "Yanno, while I'm gone."

"Do you really have to go, dad?" Fergus asked, leaning his head against Shrek's arm.

"Aye, I do," he heaved a sigh, "It won't be fer long though. We're only getting the princess and bringing her back here."

"Wait," Felicia sat forward, "Shouldn't Artie be rescuing the princess all on his own?" she asked innocently.

Shrek chuckled at her question, "She doesn't need rescuing, we're just picking her up."

"But, daddy, she's a princess!" Felicia jumped up into his face, her tone and expression serious, "All princesses need rescuing!"

"Felicia, you're a princess and you don't," Fergus casually pointed out.

"She might when we're all grown up, Fergus," Farkle poked at his arm.

Felicia wrinkled her nose a little at the idea, scowling at her brothers. Shrek was relatively pleased with her reaction.

"Nope," Shrek pulled the child from where she stood onto his lap, her frown broke into a smile, "You're never gonna get into a situation where ye'll need saving. Not on my watch, kid."

"You would save me daddy, right?" she grinned, laying across his arms, blinking in mock innocence at her father.

"Oh aye, every time."

"I wouldn't," Farkle rolled over, his back to them all, "You're way too annoying, Felicia."

The ogres of the group laughed at the little ogress's expense. She shot a glare at her brother before sitting up and flicking her hair over her shoulder, "But dad!" she remained serious, "Why do you have to go? Artie should go by himself! You did... you did when you rescued mom!"

"Actually," Shrek couldn't help but smile at her argument, "I had Donkey, remember."

"Well Artie can have Uncle Donkey too," she folded her arms, "but you have to stay here with us."

His sons nodded. The laughter in the room had died down to silence, it almost broke his heart. "C'mon here," he invited them for a hug. The three snuggled against him. "I'll be gone fer a couple of days, you'll barely even notice it really. Ye can be with mom and grandma, and do whatever secret mission ye have planned, don't tell yer mother I said that," he chuckled, they laughed softly with him.

"But if you stay we don't have to do our secret mission," Fergus protested again, "we can play with you instead."

"Yeah! I wanna go to the gardens, daddy!" Farkle perked up, it wasn't the first time he'd asked, "Can you take us to the gardens?"

"I will, I promise, but once I'm back," he smiled at them, "We can play hide and seek, scare the villagers," of course not literally, "tag the ogre, and anything else ye can think of." Their faces lit up, he pulled them a little closer, "But I've just gotta get this out the way first." His smile turned into a smirk, "Now, I think ye should all go wake mommy up this time."

Everyone stood out on the docks, reluctantly on the most part. Fiona had watched Shrek kiss their children goodbye, though they seemed thoroughly distracted by something. It was good, it meant she'd probably have less hassle about it later. She'd also watched her mother almost lecture Artie on what to do and the procedure. No doubt he knew everything she was saying, but he seemed to eagerly listen anyway. It would have been her. But it wasn't. Instead, she watched her husband allow the children to hang back with the waiting staff and play amongst them. She reluctantly agreed at his insistence, instructing them to stay away from the water and keep close to the group. Shrek had his hand resting on her hip as they now watched the ship being loaded together.

"It won't be long."

Shrek had seemed to repeat that statement ever since he first found out he was leaving.

"I know," she smiled, trying to seem cheerful, "Princess Elena of Far Out, hm?" Fiona sighed a little, "I hope she's everything he hopes for," she let her eyes trail back to the young king, "It almost doesn't seem fair."

"Mm," Shrek followed her gaze, "But hey, she might be!" his frown curled upwards, "I think I once met someone who I didn't expect t' like. Only wanted to deliver her t' someone else, and that turned out pretty well," he chuckled.

Fiona laughed, "Perhaps you have a point." Her humour soon disappeared, "Look out for him, Shrek. He needs you."

"I know," the ogre nodded, "I'll make sure everything goes t' plan. Fiona, believe me, anything goes wrong I'll swim back."

Fiona giggled, "I'll bring a towel," she sighed, "I'll be here waiting for you."

"All aboard!"

The pair cringed at the loud statement. Shrek pulled his wife into a hug. Fiona held onto him, he tried to pull away but she didn't let him, just taking a moment more. They ended their embrace with a kiss. "Oh," Shrek spoke softly, "ye don't have any surprises for me this time? Say it now, if ya do."

"No, no," she smirked, "That was the best surprise of your life though."

"Debateable," they laughed together.

Shrek let go of her, taking her hands instead, "I love you." He was almost interrupted by a second call to board the ship, he shot a brief, irritated glare at the captain.

"I love you too," she forced a smile upon her lips as he let go of her hands and walked away. It was silly how much she didn't want him to leave her side, even though she knew he would be back in no time. It would be odd without him sleeping beside her, she briefly considered letting the children sleep in her bed for the two nights he'd be gone. She'd just have to keep herself busy during the day, not that it would be difficult. She felt her mother's hand upon her shoulder, and together they watched the guys board the ship. It wasn't long before it started moving, they waved a little. As Shrek turned away, Fiona suddenly became aware of how quiet it was, and how empty the dock was. She turned, looking about the place, there had been so many people before, now it was only them, whoever else was there to help had left already.

"Mom, where're the kids?" Fiona tried to swallow down her alarm. She almost turned to shout to Shrek, but caught herself. There was no point in worrying him now.

"The preparation staff left when the ship had finished loading, darling, they probably went back to the castle with them," her mother's calm voice did little to soothe her nerves, "We should get back too."

"Right."

Fiona knew it was possible, it was probable even, that they returned with the mass of people who left as soon as the ship began boarding. But she couldn't help but walk a little faster and care a little less about her mother keeping up. She tried to shake away the worries as silly. She was worrying about her husband who was going on a short trip, and her children who had simply been escorted back to the castle by trusted staff. Shrek had always chastised her about being too protective, they needed to learn their own way. But she couldn't help it. She figured it was what being a mother was all about.

As soon as they entered the giant entryway, Lillian summoned one of the men who had clearly led the party back, "Where are the children?" she asked pleasantly.

Fiona then felt her heart leap into her throat as the man looked dumbly back at her mother and asked her to repeat the question.

"Your Highness, they did not return with us. I'm sorry I couldn't be of service."

"They didn't?" Fiona almost grabbed the man by the neck, "What do you mean they didn't? They weren't on the docks when everyone left! They were with you!"

"Fiona, I'm sure it's fine," Lillian kept her cool and calm exterior.

"Mom," Fiona turned her energy to her mother, "It's not fine. They were around open water, they can't swim!"

"They wouldn't have fallen in without making a terrible fuss, there were so many people, someone would have seen them," she reasoned with her frantic daughter, "Someone fetch Fiddlesworth," she took on an authoritative tone, "Instruct him to round up a search party and scour the castle, and every inch of the path leading to the castle from the docks."

The man who stood in front of them nodded crisply and left.

Fiona fought the urge to crumble, "Mom, I need to go back, we need to look..."

"I'm sorry, Your Highnesses?" the maid that Artie had mentioned stepped towards them, gaining their attention, "I don't mean to pry, but I overheard the little ones asking their father, Sir Shrek, if they could go with him, repeatedly and persistently, as children do of course-" she suddenly gave a little gasp, "Oh again, I didn't mean to overhear or listen, I apologise, but they-"

"They're loud, I know," Fiona pushed away her apologies, "You think...?"

"They snuck aboard the ship, Princess, yes," the maid nodded, giving a smile.

Fiona stared a little, thinking about the logistics of it all. It was like them, they got into mischief together all the time. There were so many people about, Fiona's instructions were vague, she hadn't asked someone to watch them. Why wasn't she watching? She felt frustration at her husband's insistence for her to stop worrying about them when there was no immediate danger. There was danger. Danger of this.It was possible, very possible. "Can we get a message out?" Fiona turned quickly to her mother.

"Not in time, Fiona. Darling, it's a short trip, they'll be fine," Lillian held her daughter's arm.

"But they love to hide!" Fiona wasn't feeling the same relief her mother was displaying, not at all. Hundreds of terrible scenarios racing through her mind, "If they kept it a secret from us, they'll have hidden, who knows how long they'll hide for..."

"Don't be silly," Lillian took hold of her hands, "They will be fine. They don't exactly comply with quiet and out of the way, do they?"

"...no," Fiona let out a sigh. They were with Shrek. There was no way they'd hide from him for too long; they liked him too much. They'd be jumping around and laughing at him in no time. But they'd be gone for two days on a ship, completely unprepared. They wouldn't have her. Tears blurred her vision, "They've never been without me overnight before."

"They're on an adventure with their father," Lillian gave a small reassuring smile, "Darling, we won't hear the end of it when they're back."

She was right.

Shrek stood upon the ship, watching Far Far Away fade into the horizon, ignoring Donkey's chatter. He looked to the side of him, Artie was doing the same. The ogre was about to offer some reassurance to the young adult when he heard something behind him. The band of friends all turned, watching a wooden crate opening itself from the inside. Donkey's ears flattened against the side of his head, quickly retreating behind Shrek's legs, Puss withdrew his sword. They waited in shocked silence until the lid of the crate slid off.

"Surprise!"

Much to Shrek's shock and horror, all three of his children jumped up from inside the wooden box.

"We're here, daddy!"

AN: I know in the original version the kids stayed hidden, but I quickly realised that was complete bullshit. If you've ever met a four year old, I think you'd agree. I know this universe isn't the best for realism, but I figured this wouldn't fly.