It's a bit weird seeing Katie interacting so comfortably with Jason and Luke as they sit around the circular table in the boys's flat. Naomi can't help feeling a little like an outsider looking in on this new life that Katie leads now. Katie's so at ease with the two of them and the familiarity with which they treat her makes it obvious that they consider her practically family.
It's odd seeing Katie being teased playfully and not overreacting. It's not that she doesn't give as good as she gets, but she isn't get as defensive as she used to.
"Oi!" Naomi groans as Alice elbows her in the side, breaking her from her train of thought. "What was that for?" Naomi grumbles.
"You've been gaping," Alice informs her with a smug smile.
"What? No I haven't. Shut up!" Naomi glares at her friend, catching Katie's phone vibrating out of the corner of her eye for what has to be the fifth time since they've started eating.
"So what were you and your girlfriend talking about before? Does she miss me?" Luke teases Katie.
Katie glares a little more fiercely as Naomi's eyes widen. "Shut up, Luke," Katie growls.
"Sorry, did Luke just say your girlfriend?" Naomi interjects angling herself in her chair so that she could fully look at Katie who sat to her immediate left.
"He's just being stupid. I'm straight, obviously," Katie explains, rolling her eyes at the boys.
"I dunno. I think you'd go gay for Effy!" Jason counters with a sly grin.
Naomi's eyes widen further. She can't have heard them write. "Effy?"
"Yeah. Cute, skinny little thing," Luke supplies.
"Effy fucking Stonem?" Naomi's aware that her voice sounds a bit shrill, but seriously? Sure she was aware that Katie and Effy had made a kind of tentative peace before leaving college, but this was just... "You're dating Effy fucking Stonem? The girl who hit you in the head with a rock?"
"What?" Luke, Jason, and Alice chorus as if it was rehearsed.
"We have heard nothing about rocks," Luke adds.
"I'm not dating her," Katie clarifies. "We're just friends. Those two just have overactive imaginations," Katie nods at Luke and Jason.
"Sorry, but back to this whole thing about you getting hit in the head with a rock..." Jason prompts.
Katie sighs. "Thanks a lot, Naoms."
Naomi shivers at the nickname leaving Katie's mouth. If it weren't for the lisp, it'd have sounded exactly like Emily. Naomi pauses for a second, realising that that was the first time all night she'd thought about the redhead.
"Well?" Alice encourages when it seems like Katie's not going to elaborate.
"There was a minor incident back during the first year of college. Effy was tripping and I was mad at her...It just happened," Katie downplays it.
"Minor incident?" Naomi cuts in with a wry laugh. She's heard plenty of fibs in her day, but this takes the cake. "You have to be joking. There was definitely a point when you would have claimed that Effy ruined your life!"
"Yeah, well, people grow up," Katie glowers.
Naomi can tell that she's not especially relishing this attention, but she can't get over them being friends. Like legitimate friends that keep in touch on a regular basis and that other new friends know about. Effy's already met this new Katie. She's already seen her interact with Luke and Jason from the sounds of it. Naomi can't help it, it's strange to think about. "Yeah, but really? I mean Effy?"
"We were friends second year of college," Katie retorts defensively, glancing at her phone as it vibrates again.
"No you weren't. You tolerated each other's presence because we all still tried to hang out together," Naomi counters. She can't stop herself.
"Yeah, but then during that actual friendship formed, ok?" Katie replies. "I dunno. We just started hanging out just us a bit towards the end of the year, and then over the summer and she's the only person I've really kept in touch with since I moved to London. Besides, well..." Katie cuts herself off, but Naomi doesn't need her to finish the sentence to know she means Emily. She shakes it off. "She's the only one besides, like, you, who's decided to grow up at all. You saw Cook at Christmas. Still the same immature git," Katie points out.
Naomi nods, though really she's always had a bit of a soft spot for Cook, ever since she realised that he really was a little deeper than he appeared to be. "I guess it's not the strangest friendship to come out of our little dysfunctional group," Naomi comments, although really it's definitely up there.
"Yeah. That'd probably be us, babes," Katie counters.
Naomi bit her bottom lip in surprise. Sure she'd been hanging out with Katie, enjoying her company even, but the fact that Katie considered them friends still shocked her. She realises that they've certainly been acting in a very friendly way. Who'd have ever thought that she and Katie would be friends independently, on their own, outside of the rest of their group? Naomi wanted to comment, but she knew she'd just make the situation awkward so she held her tongue, making a mental note to mention it to Katie later.
"Plus our Katie's totally got the hots for her," Luke adds with an impish grin and Naomi, Alice, and Jason laugh as Katie glares.
"Luke, I'm still straight!" Katie insists.
"Ok, ok! I'm just saying you and she are very couple-y when you're together," Luke teases.
"We're best friends, Luke," Katie rolls her eyes, but Naomi can tell that this is a playful argument that they've had before.
Katie's phone vibrates again, and Naomi's curiosity gets the better of her. She grabs the phone from the table next to Katie and looks at the name. She freezes when she sees it's Emily and suddenly she's extremely aware that she's at dinner with Emily's twin, Emily's family. Being friends with Katie meant that she'd never get away from Emily completely. They'd always be sisters. She shivers.
"Naomi, give it back!" Katie demands, but Naomi holds the phone out of Katie's reach and opens a text message.
She doesn't know why. She must be a glutton for punishment. Or maybe it's just that this is the closest she's felt to Emily in weeks. It's the only proof she's had that someone who she'd once thought would never not be a part of her life is still alive. It's an extremely painful thought, and suddenly it feels like someone is ripping her chest open all over again.
The text is in all caps. Emily's mad. Naomi cringes because she actually knows that just from a text. That's how well she knows the girl.
WHAT THE FUCK!
That's all it demands. Naomi sees a dozen other unopened texts all from Emily.
"Naomi!" Katie warns, but there's a note of pleading in her voice.
Naomi gives her back the phone. She doesn't want to know. She can't want to know. She doesn't have a right to know anymore. Emily had made that perfectly clear. "I..." Naomi feels like she couldn't breathe. She's only vaguely aware of Alice mouthing "Emily" to Katie across Naomi and Katie nodding back. How can it still hurt this much to not be with her? How could she have thought that she'd be okay, when her heart feels like it's shattering all over again? Naomi pushes back from the table. "Sorry. I'll be right back."
She runs to the bathroom, closes the door behind her and slumps down it, trying to catch her breath. She grabs at her chest, trying to make the pain disappear. Tears begin to trickle down her face, burning hot. She barely processes the knock at the door. She doesn't respond.
"Naomi, let me in." It's Katie. Naomi doesn't move.
"Naomi, please," Katie pleads after another minute passes with no response.
Naomi sighs. She doesn't really want to see her, but, knowing Katie, she won't go away. Naomi scoots away from the door, opening it a crack as she does so. Katie slips in the bathroom a second later. Naomi doesn't look up, but before she knows it Katie's crouching next to her.
"Sorry," Katie murmurs.
Naomi shrugs off the apology. "You didn't do anything. I took your phone."
"She wouldn't have been texting if I hadn't called her earlier," Katie counters.
"She's mad at you, you know," Naomi comments after another minute.
"I'm not surprised," Katie replies.
"What'd you say to her?" Naomi asks, hating herself for doing so. She doesn't really want to know. But she does.
"Told her you'd be here soon, then hung up," Katie says honestly after a second.
Naomi looks up at her in surprise. "Really? No wonder she's mad."
Katie smiles. "She deserved it," she mutters.
Naomi wants to ask why, but suspects that in this case, she really doesn't want to know the answer. Naomi can just imagine Emily's reaction to finding out that her sister is hanging out with her ex. It wouldn't be good, that's for sure. Especially if Katie didn't explain. "How did she sound?"
Katie smiles sadly at her. "Naomi," she sighs. "Don't do this to yourself, ok? Don't wonder. Don't waste the time."
"She's moved on then?" Naomi concludes. Katie'd been a bit more hopeful the last time they'd talked. There was only one thing that Naomi could come up with that'd change her mind.
"I don't know," Katie replies.
"Liar," Naomi accuses sadly, hating that the tears are spilling down her cheeks even faster now. Hating that Katie's watching her cry again.
"It's not a lie. I think...Maybe. But you shouldn't care, Naomi! You're...You're not her girlfriend anymore," Katie says the last part softly, putting a comforting hand on one of Naomi's.
Naomi closes her eyes, attempting to block out the pain in her chest with the light. It doesn't work. "I know," she whispers.
"Maybe it's a good thing," Katie soothes, sitting down next to Naomi and taking her hand in her own. "I mean who meets the love of their life at twelve?"
Katie's obviously attempting a joke, but Naomi can't find it in her to even smile, let alone laugh. The truth was that she thought that she had. Well, she hadn't admitted it to herself until sixteen obviously, but Emily had held her attention all through middle school. Katie, on the other hand, had annoyed her from day one. Bossy and bitchy even at twelve. She'd avoided Katie like the plague back then. Funny that that was the twin she was now sitting in a bathroom with.
They sit in silence for a few minutes and Naomi finds herself leaning her head on Katie's shoulder. Katie doesn't complain about the tears that stain her shirt. Naomi's a bit surprised. The old Katie would have. She keeps having to remind herself that Katie's changed.
It feels weird, taking comfort in a body that feels simultaneously familiar and foreign to her.
Katie wraps an arm around her. "It'll be ok," she offers.
Naomi nods, but she's back to not being sure she believes it.
"Come on. Luke makes a killer chocolate soufflé. You really don't want to miss dessert," Katie says after a few more minutes when Naomi's managed to get control over her tears a bit more.
"Thanks," Naomi murmurs as she stands up and straightens out her clothes.
Katie shrugs. "No problem."
"Sorry about your top," Naomi says, noticing the big wet patch on the girl's shoulder.
Katie cracks a grin. "Look at you apologising about clothes! Never thought I'd see the day," Katie teases.
Naomi manages a smile, but it fades all too quickly.
"You might want to clean up your makeup a bit," Katie suggests.
Naomi looks in the mirror. Her mascara has run, and it definitely doesn't look overly attractive. She turns on the tap and splashes some cold water on her face. Katie opens a cupboard next to her and hands her a washcloth. Naomi sets to work cleaning up her makeup. Katie opens the door and turns on down the hall, away from the meal.
Naomi hesitates the follows. She's not really thrilled about the prospect of facing everyone she's just made a fool out of herself in front of alone. She's not especially sure that having Katie at her side will make it any better, but somehow the option seems preferable.
"Just going to change my top," Katie explains as she enters a room and peels off her top.
Naomi freezes. Her eyes graze over Katie's body, which she has to admit is ridiculously fit, before she remembers who exactly she's perving over. She forces her eyes to stare at the ceiling awkwardly. "You do know you're changing in front of a lesbian," Naomi points out.
Katie laughs lightly. "I'm pretty sure I've been changing in front of a lesbian my whole life."
Naomi furrows her brow for a second then realises what Katie means. "I meant one who's not related to you."
"You're not looking, so I'm not overly worried," Katie's reply is a bit muffled and when Naomi glances she sees that's because Katie's pulling another top over her head. Katie's eyes meet hers and Naomi blushes unwillingly. "Well you weren't," Katie adds with a smug smile.
"Sorry," Naomi mutters.
"It's ok, babes. I know I'm hot," Katie teases as she brushes past Naomi.
Naomi takes a deep breath and follows her down the hallway. "I've seen hotter," she replied playfully.
Katie mocks being shocked. "Just because I know you're talking about my sister, I take offense to that."
Naomi pauses as they approach the kitchen. "Katie?"
"Yeah?" Katie stops and turns to face her.
"Did you mean it? About considering me your friend?" Naomi inquires.
"What?" Katie's brows furrow.
"You said that the strangest friendship to come out of our group of friends is us. Which means you consider me a friend?"
Katie rolls her eyes. "Oh yeah. Of course. Don't be stupid. I mean we've more or less been friends for two years now."
"Have we?" Naomi inquires, feeling a bit baffled.
"Well we stopped being enemies like over a year and a half ago, right?"
Naomi considers it. They had managed occasional civility, but that was about as much as she'd give them. Still, Katie clearly saw it a bit differently, so maybe Naomi had misread some of the situations. It wouldn't be the first time. She nods. "Yeah, I guess."
"And it's not like it's been unpleasant hanging out this week, right?" Katie prompts.
"No. Definitely not," Naomi agrees.
"So we're friends," Katie concludes.
Naomi smiles at the idea. "Yeah. I guess so."
Katie smiles back at her. "Now come on! If my soufflé's collapsed I might hold a grudge."
Naomi rolls her eyes and follows the smaller girl back to the table.
"Everything alright?" Alice whispers in her ear.
Naomi nods.
"I would've come after you, but Katie insisted," Alice informed her.
Naomi glances sideways at Katie. The girl continues to surprise her.
"She seemed genuinely worried," Alice adds.
Naomi nods as Luke sets down a tray of mini dishes of soufflé on the table. "Looks delicious," she smiles at him.
He nods back with a smile.
"Just wait 'til you taste it," Jason replies, smiling proudly at his boyfriend.
Naomi feels a pang of pain at the obvious affection between them. She used to have that. Still, maybe Katie is right. Maybe someday it will be ok.
Katie catches her eye and smiles at her as she takes her first bite of soufflé and Naomi has to admit that it's incredibly delicious. It just melts on her tongue. Katie winks and Naomi thinks that maybe with the help of friends she'll get through this.
She doesn't remember until later that night that Katie doesn't normally live in Brighton and is going back to London soon. It's only about an hour away, but Naomi can't help feeling disappointed that she's not going to get to see her more regularly now that she's actually getting to know the real Katie.