"I don't need another lecture Iz!" Alec growled. They were both covered in ichor and walking down a mundane street with not a single mundane aware of their presence.
"Clearly you do!" Izzy scolded him as she indicated the red line on Alec's leg that had minutes ago been a deep gash revealing bone.
"I'm fine," Alec reminded her.
"No you aren't! If I hadn't gotten to you as fast as I did," Izzy yelled. "You would have bled out and died!"
"I think you are being a little dramatic," Alec whined. "Besides, how was I supposed to know the demon had an extra set of claws on his elbow."
Isabelle stopped cold and turned to face her brother. "Magnus might come back," she said. "Simon might be Simon again, we have to stay strong for them."
"Simon will be Simon again," Alec corrected her. "But Magnus won't come back."
"Let me remind you that every time I've gone to see Simon since he joined the academy, he'd rejected me," Izzy said fiercely. "He thinks we are strangers. He says he isn't the same guy I knew. He refers to his past self as if he is someone else entirely! But Alec, Magnus didn't lose who he was like Simon did."
"No he just chose to give up all his memories of me," Alec reminded her. "While Simon chose to save us all. Besides, I know Simon remembers bits and pieces of your time together."
"You don't know why Magnus lost his memories," Izzy stated. "And Simon doesn't want me to wait for him. I've made a fool of myself for him but it hasn't mattered. It will be years until he ascends, if ever."
"But you have hope, Iz," Alec sighed. "Magnus can't ascend to get his memories back, and even if he could, he never would in a million years since that would mean he couldn't live a million years anymore."
"Fine," Izzy yelled, throwing her arms in the air. "Be miserable, but if I catch you doing something risky on a mission again, I am benching you!"
"You can't do that," Alec scoffed as he started walking again. They were almost to the Institute.
"Like hell I can't!" Izzy said. "Mom and dad are already worried about you. Just a few carefully chosen words, and I could get them to lock you up!"
"Drama queen," Alec grumbled, though he knew she had a point. He was being stupid. It was just that the thrive of the unknown was the only thing capable of snapping him out of his numb haze these days. Charging into a fight, not knowing whether or not he'd live, was the only time he felt truly aware. The rest of the last few weeks were just a blur, but those moments, he could remember perfectly.
"Dad is dragging me to the Academy to help with some lesson about The Circle," Izzy said. "Come."
"I think I'll pass," Alec laughed.
"Dad wants me to test them," Izzy said. "So my job is to try and convince recruits it's a good idea to summon a demon for fun."
"I am sure you are up for the challenge," Alec said. "How are things with you and dad."
"Oh you know," Izzy replied. "Thin ice. The usual."
"Is that why you want me to come?" Alec asked
"No," Izzy said. "I returned Simon's letter without opening it, and now I have to face him."
"Why didn't you read it?" Alec asked.
"Couldn't," Izzy muttered. Alec had to admit he knew exactly what she meant.
"Just have fun torturing the cadets," Alec told her. "Maybe flirt with one of them and see if Simon reacts."
"Oh I'm definitely doing that," Izzy smiled then she frowned at him and added. "I take it that's still a no."
"Yep," Alec answered. They had reached the Institute, and now stood at the entrance.
"You sure you don't want to come in?" Izzy asked.
"I'm sure," Alec said. "I'm going home."
"To your empty apartment," Izzy reminded him.
"Tell that to my cat," Alec said defiantly. Izzy groaned but didn't argue the point further. They had been over this too many times before. Alec always went back to Magnus's. He was however, waiting for the day his sister called him a crazy cat lady.
Slowly Alec walked to the nearest subway terminal. Magnus's Brooklyn loft was quite a ways away from the Institute. My loft, Alec reminded himself because Magnus isn't coming back. Alec hoped with all his might that at least Izzy and Simon would find their way back to happiness. He wanted that for his sister. He wouldn't wish memory loss of a loved one on his worst enemy.
As Alec walked onto the subway he saw a tall Asian man facing away. Alec rationally knew this man wasn't Magnus, but he couldn't stop the slight bolt of hope in his chest before the man turned around. This was not the first time this had happened. Since Magnus had walked out the front door, Alec had seen the love of his life everywhere. He tried so hard to halt the momentary excitement, each sighting invoked in him but he failed every time. Izzy told him this was because Alec still had hope and should try, but Alec disagreed. This was simply Alec's mind seeing what it wanted rather than reality. Like when you see something out of the corner of your eye as one thing, then turn and discovered it's something else entirely.
Alec left the subway and walked the few blocks home. He thought again about contacting Tessa. She and Jem were back from the honeymoon as far as he knew, and Alec suspected Tessa would want to know what had happened to Magnus. They were old friends, and Alec suspected it was Tessa's grief from losing Will that had scared Magnus into giving up his memories in the first place.
Alec walked into the place he called home, closing the door gently behind him. He was surprised Chairmen wasn't there to greet him. The cat usually came running when he'd been out. Alec idly wondered what to tell Tessa when he sent her a fire message. Maybe that was a problem for tomorrow. Alec yawned, set down his keys then turned to face the main living area, and froze.
Either he'd lost his mind and started to have full blown hallucinations or... Magnus Bane was sitting on the couch, with Chairmen Meow curled up in his lap.
Was he so messed up in the head that he was actually hallucinating? Or was he dreaming? Alec wasn't usually covered in ichor in his dreams but anything was possible.
"Hi Alec," Magnus said softly. He was stroking the cat absently but he seemed different than the last time Alec had seen him, if Alec indeed was even seeing Magnus.
"Hi," Alec said, too stunned to know what to say.
"I was wondering if we could talk," Magnus asked. Alec snapped out of his reverie enough to move. He walked forward slowly. Hallucination, dream or reality he was going to move closer.
"Are you real?" Alec asked. "Are you here?"
"Have you been hallucinating me?" Magnus laughed.
"It's possible," Alec replied. "But I wouldn't put it past my me." Alec was exhausted, had just survived a near fatal injury and was covered in a mixture of his own and demon's blood. He was by definition a mess.
"I see," Magnus said. He was biting his lower lip in that way he did when he was nervous. Alec couldn't help but smile when he saw that small sign that this really was his Magnus. "Why are you smiling?" Magnus added after a moment's looking Alec over.
"Real, or a figment of my imagination," Alec smiled. "Either way it's good to see you." It had been so long since Alec had seen the beauty in Magnus's cat eyes, or the curve of his lips. Alec's eyes roamed over Magnus's shoulders and arms, determined to enjoy the sight of the one thing in the world he loved most.
"I'm really here Alec," Magnus whispered, and Alec believed him even if he had no idea why.
"If you are really here," Alec said. "And you want to talk. Does that mean you are willing wait for me to change?"
"Of course," Magnus replied. "Chairmen and I will be right here when you get back." The concept seemed foreign to him, but talking to Magnus while covered head to toe in blood didn't sound appealing either. Alec turned away from Magnus, and walked towards the bathroom. It was strange walking away from all that he wanted, but Alec was determined not to get his hopes up. Magnus being here didn't mean anything. Alec quickly got in the shower, and watched all the blood go down the drain. Then he got out, and threw on an old pair of jeans and a sweater to hide all his new scars. He was only gone a few minutes.
"So what did you want to talk about?" Alec asked as casually as he could. He sat across from Magnus in the chair opposite the couch.
"I don't really know how to start," Magnus confessed. Chairmen meow was still in the warlock's nap.
"Well what made you finally come back?" Alec asked. He was so tired and miserable, but trying to keep Magnus's presences from getting his hopes up was more draining than either. Also his half healed wounds ached.
"Caterina is a persuasive woman," Magnus mumbled. Alec laughed.
"Yes," Alec said. "She is that and a very good friend. Did she discover what happened to your memories?" Alec tried to keep his voice causal while he asked the question that had been eating him alive for weeks.
"Yes," Magnus answered, and Alec held his breath. "But first- I mean... I think... you deserve... you should know…"
"You aren't making much sense," Alec replied, his leg was still sore, but that was forgotten when suddenly Magnus was looking at Alec with the intensity of the sun.
"I never told you why I ran," Magnus stated.
"You don't love me," Alec supplied, in a toneless voice. "You forgot. Wasn't that why?"
"No," Magnus replied. Alec waited, holding his breath. This he had not expected. The pain in his leg, and the fatigue in his muscles were nothing to him now. "I could- I mean I was- I- Oh Alec you scared me to death."
"I scared you?" Alec couldn't help but laugh.
"Yes," Magnus said. "You know my every secret which in and of itself was insane. I could not fathom the devotion in your eyes when you looked at me. That day you told me what you wanted your life with me to be… I've never had such… well, love directed at me before and I- I'm not worthy of that."
No matter what they were to each other in this moment, Alec could not let Magnus think such a thing about himself. Alec got up and went to Magnus on the couch. He leaned in close enough to kissed Magnus's cheek. "You are the most worthy person I know," Alec whispered, against Magnus's skin. "No matter what you think, no matter what the future holds, you have my love till the day I die." When Alec pulled away he saw that Magnus was crying. "What's wrong?"
"That's what I'm so scared of," Magnus whispered, crying in earnest now. "I knew I could love you again. I can feel it in every fibre of my being when I am near you, but it's terrifying, paralyzing because you're going to die."
"Everyone gets the time they get," Alec replied. "I can't help that."
"Well it seems I thought I could," Magnus sighed. There was a strange look on Magnus's face that Alec couldn't identify.
"What do you mean?" Alec asked. His hopes were way out of control now.
"Caterina," Magnus said after a moment. "She figured out why I lost my memories. A demon tricked me but… Alec the part I couldn't believe was why I went to the demon in the first place." Magnus paused while Alec's mind went through every possible reason except the actual one.
"I went to the demon to give up my immortality." Magnus had spoken the words, but it took Alec a full thirty seconds to take them in. Magnus - his Magnus - had decided Alec was worth mortality, and went in secret to do this. Magnus hadn't given up his love for Alec, quite the opposite. How had the world seemed so bleak this morning? The world was beautiful.
"I hardly believed it myself," Magnus said.
"Did it work?" Alec asked, unable to keep the egear tone from his voice. "Do you know if you are…"
"Mortal?" Magnus whispered as if the very word scared the life out of him. "Caterina couldn't find out."
"There must be a way to know for sure," Alec began.
"Yes but Alec-" Magnus choked, the words caught in his throat. Alec couldn't bare to see Magnus so upset. He pulled the warlock into his arms and held him close. Magnus didn't fight him, but rather wrapped his arms around Alec, almost desperately in return, and Alec felt like he was finally home again. They remained like that for a few moments until Magnus pulled away.
"I don't remember ever being so scared," Magnus whispered. "I don't know what to do?"
"We will find out what's going on," Alec comforted him.
"That just it," Magnus whispered. "Caterina may not have been able to learn what really happened, but Alec, I could. Before I came to see you, I went and looked into it." Magnus choked back tears, and Alec automatically reached out to comfort him while he held his breath for the end of Magnus's story.
"It worked Alec," Magnus whispered. "I'm not immortal anymore." Alec didn't know what to do or think. It was what he'd wanted before, but he'd long ago made peace with not having it.
"I don't know what I am," Magnus continued. "There's never been a warlock before who aged. I have no idea what is going to happen to me."
"It's okay Magnus," Alec whispered as he held the warlock's face in both his hands, gazing into those beautiful cat eyes he loved so much. "No matter what happens, I am with you."
And then Magnus kissed him. Magnus kissed Alec like he wanted to lose himself in Alec, in the mingling of the lips. Magnus kissed Alec with a fierce need, as if he'd die without Alec's embrace. Suddenly, Alec found himself laying on his back on the couch as Magnus's hands ran over his chest, their mouths still moving together. Alec's hands went up to hold Magnus as their kiss deepened.
Despite the news that he still couldn't fully understand the long term meaning of, in this moment, Alec felt nothing but pure joy. The constricting feeling over his heart that had been his constant companion these last weeks was gone, and Alec realized just how hard it had been to bare.
"Magnus," Alec moaned as the warlock pulled Alec's sweater and shirt off, exposing his bare chest to the world. "Oh god how I've missed you."
"I can't say the same," Magnus said with a slight laugh. "But I am done denying the hold you have over me."
"I love you," Alec told him. Magnus didn't reply, but his desperate efforts to remove Alec's clothes intensified. Alec's hands started to follow suit, and soon Magnus's shirt was also on the ground.
Alec lost himself in the sensation of being loved by the man he loved. At the moment, he didn't care if Magnus was mortal or immoral. He didn't care if Magnus would ever love him like he had before. He didn't care if Magnus ever got his memories back. All he cared about was that Magnus was here, that Magnus had known from the start that he could love Alec again. It seemed silly after all they'd been through, that fear alone could have held Magnus back, though Alec supposed he had once been guilty of hiding his relationship with Magnus out of fear.
But none of that mattered now, because Magnus's soft lips were kissing him. Magnus's gentle perfect hands were exploring him.
"Alexander," Magnus gasped. Alec wouldn't have thought anything of it, giving what they were currently doing, but then Magnus pulled away. Alec had been looking up at the ceiling with his head leaned all the way back on the couch arm, reveling in the feelings Magnus's touch stirred in him, but when Magnus's hands left his skin, Alec looked up.
"What's wrong?" Alec asked. His fear this was all a perfect dream resurfacing.
"These scars," Magnus said as he slowly traced the new one on Alec's leg.
"Oh those," Alec said, relaxing. Then he added with a shrug, "A demon tried to kill me."
"This one on your leg looks like it isn't healed yet," Magnus observed.
"That one is from about an hour ago," Alec explained. There was a strange look on Magnus's face that Alec couldn't identify.
"What are you thinking?" Alec asked.
"All your scars," Magnus said as he traced a few more along Alec's hip and chest. "Are either extremely new or very old."
"So?" Alec asked. He already missed the feel of Magnus's touch, and had to resist the urge to reach forward and pull Magnus down for a kiss, and pick up where they'd left off.
"Have you been getting cut to shreds since I left?" Magnus asked. Alec was rather ashamed of his actions now that he was free of the pain, and he didn't really want to admit the truth.
"Once you were gone, I had nothing else to do but work," Alec explained instead. "We just had a few near misses is all."
"Are you sure these aren't my fault?" Magnus asked.
"You are here now," Alec said softly as he gave in to his impulses, and sat up to hold Magnus's face in his hands. "We are both here, together and that is all that matters."
Then Alec kissed Magnus, and felt the tension in the warlock's shoulders relax as everything but the other's touch melted from their minds.
^_^ Wasn't that cute? See I was getting to the happy just like I promised.
We have reached the end of my pre-planned chapters. I originally started this story as a one shot but the more I wrote it the more I realized it was WAY to long for one chapter... so... yeah... another multi chapter fic happened... when I finish updating this one I can start uploading the story I'd had started for months. It is, of course, also malec!
Sneak Peek Chapter 5:
"So tell me about us?" Magnus whispered.
"What do you want know?" Alec replied.
"How did we meet?" Magnus said.
"The memory spells you were doing on Clary," Alec explained. "She found out and we all came to see you. I was very firmly in the closet back then but you still noticed me."
"That I can understand," Magnus replied, his fingers continuing their study of Alec's skin. "You are rather noticeable."