Chapter 4

As I went to bed that night I allowed myself to think about Eric for just a few minutes. I pulled that box out of my mental closet and brought him up and his last visit out of it. I held the memory of him to me like a blanket and wallowed all over the feelings. I remembered his tired eyes and wet body, I cried at his disconcertingly sad air, and at the thought that my choice had caused him pain. I remembered that Saturday would be the one-year anniversary of the first time we slept together. It seemed like a million years ago. I relived our time together in my mind all over again, and then reluctantly put it all back in the box, softly pushing it to the bottom of my subconscious. At some point I fell asleep, the tears drying on my cheeks.

It occurred to me as I made breakfast the next day that Monday I started a job I had no idea how to do. I called Tulane and began the registration process for some online courses; if I were lucky, I could get in on the spring semester that started in two weeks. I needed to know something about public relations before then, so I got dressed and headed over to the library to see what was available there. I found some material on line, and a few books to check out. I stopped by the tanning bed and nail salon on my way home.

My skin looked a little dry so I slathered it with a night cream. I wanted to do a pretty elaborate hairdo for the party, so I washed and dried my hair, coated it in a heavy conditioner, and covered it with a turban. All the conditioners and moisturizers were really slick so I pulled on an old pair of sweat pants and a ragged sports tank. I then sat down to look over my new books.

Boy, do I have a lot to learn. The reality of my new position started to sink in. But I felt up to the challenge, and confident that I could do this. Hell, I had fought in Were wars, killed a vampire and a shifter, saved Supe lives over and over. I can read minds and I know how people really feel. I can do this, I told myself sternly as my resolve started to sink.

I was so lost in my reading material that I didn't notice the cars pulling into my driveway until someone honked the horn. I looked out the door just as someone hopped out of a silver BMW and barreled up my steps. Without thinking about my appearance I opened the door to see a very attractive man regarding me with a smile.

He had light brown hair, streaked with blond from the sun, about 6' 2", incredible physique, looked to be someone who spent a lot of time outside from his dark tan and developed muscles, tight white t shirt and jeans. He reminded me of a lumberjack for some reason, a lumberjack with the jaw line of Matthew McConahay.

"I'm Lance Herveaux," he said, his golden brown eyes friendly and bright, "Alcide's cousin. You must be Sookie. We've brought you your car," he motioned to another man, one of Alcide's bookkeepers I met yesterday, parked in a red Jeep Cherokee behind him.

"Ooh, let me see," I couldn't contain my excitement as I bounded down the stairs barefoot. "I like it," I said, trying to act nonchalant. Boy did I. The interior was perfect; it looked and smelled brand new. Leather seats, German craftsmanship, damn, I had me a ride. I tried not to drool.

I straightened. "Thank you, Lance," I said.

"You the new PR girl?"

"Yep. Do you work with Alcide?"

"I have been for the last year. My dad was Jackson's half-brother, so I have some stock in the company. I've been taking a hiatus after graduate school since Katrina. The company really needed me with all the extra work."

"Oh really," I said. "What are you studying?"

" I'm pursuing a doctorate in philosophy."

"So you can…"

"Teach. I want to be a professor."

I looked him up and down and smiled in spite of myself.

"The co-eds are going to love that," I drawled. He laughed. "I hope so."

"And what got you into PR," he asked.

"Well, I don't have any background in it," I said kind of nervously. "Alcide seems to think I'll do well anyway. And I've signed up for some online courses through Tulane. I never went to college, so I'm a little concerned."

"Alcide tells me you're incredibly bright, and Supes seem to gravitate to you, so I'm sure you'll be great. He also said you have other valuable talents."

"So what color wolf are you," I blurted out before I could stop myself. He was just too golden to imagine as an old scraggly gray wolf.

He laughed. "I'm kind of an abomination,' he said. "My dad was only half-Were, and my mom was full human, so I'm only a quarter Were. I can't shift."

"Does that bother you?"

"Not really," he said. "I can puff up and get a little bigger, if I want to, kind of like Wolverine right before he changes, but I don't grow fur or animal teeth or anything."

I started to get turned on thinking of him bursting through his shirt like Hugh Jackman. Man, had it been a long time since I'd had sex.

I realized I'd been too nosey. "Sorry, I didn't mean to pry."

"Oh, that's okay. I heard you were real easy to talk to," he said with a shrug. "You'll be at the party tonight, do you need a ride?"

"Thanks but I think I'll drive myself. I need to get used to the trip to Shreveport and back."

He nodded. "Well, I'll se you there," he grinned, hopped in the car with the other man and left.

Damn, should I have gone with him? I decided no, this was not a night for pleasure. It was business, and I needed to make Alcide and the Pack look good without a lot of sexual tension. Besides I just didn't know if I was ready for any new men in my life. Not today, I though wistfully, letting old feelings surface again. Not on our anniversary…

Shove it down, put it back in the box, Sookie, I told myself. I went back inside and caught a glimpse of my face in the mirror, oh no, oh oh no. I can't believe that handsome man even offered to drive me to the party. I'd forgotten I had that turban on my head, and the cream caked on my face. I jumped back in the shower to shave my legs and rinsed out my hair. Three o'clock, party started at 6:30 and I had to allow 45 minutes to drive. Time to start getting ready.

Tara came over to help me with my hair. In honor of the dress I wanted a type of sixties do, with it high at the crown, bangs straight and parted on the side, and the back of my hair down, straight and silky, ala Julie Christie in Dr. Zhivago, or that chick in the Austin Powers flic, you know what I mean. Tara worked on it for a while pinning and teasing a bit, then smoothing it all over the top. I applied my makeup, lots of smoky dark shadow and black cat-eyed eyeliner, to complete the retro effect. I lined my lips with a lip plumper pencil Tara insisted I use.

I put moisturizer on my legs, and chose a tiny lacy gold thong as my sole piece of lingerie. It was really the only thing I could wear, with the dress being lined and the built-in stays in the bustier part. I shimmied into the dress, slipped on my shoes and earrings, and turned around to Tara.

"Oh, Sookie, you're going to kill somebody tonight," she said. "You look incredible, words can't describe, where in the world did you get that dress?" It didn't even seem to bother her that I got it somewhere other than her shop.

"Is Eric going to be there?" Tara said. "I'd hate for him to miss you looking like this."

The thought hadn't even occurred to me.

"I doubt it; it's a Were welcome party, and vampire hate Weres." Still I vaguely remember a commemorative plaque from the Shreveport Chamber of Commerce with Eric Northman's name on it hanging on the office wall at Fangtasia. He was obviously a member of the chamber, so he could show up as a political thing. I pushed it out of my mind however. Eric wouldn't be there, Pam would have mentioned it surely.

I grabbed my evening bag and wrap, said my goodbyes and headed out the door. The drive would give me time to get used to the new car, an added bonus. I sank into the seat with a sigh. It was so nice. I didn't realize how crappy my old car was until just now. A few adjustments and I was on my way to Shreveport.

The drive gave me time to think. Many changes had come about in the last week, and I was struggling somewhat to adapt. I thought about my new position and all I would have to learn. Working in a bar can have some bad side effects. I needed to learn to control that crazy Sookie smile, and I needed to stop cussing so much. Since Gran died I had noticed I cussed more and more. This had to end. She wasn't around to correct me.

I found the hotel with no problem, pulled in and parked the car. I checked my makeup and hair, smoothed my dress, and walked into the hotel lobby with as much dignity as I could muster. Right off I saw Alcide and Lance, both decked out in Hugo Boss, standing by the door greeting guests. Alcide's mouth visibly dropped and Lance's eyes flew open wide as I made my way toward them. "Well, Sookie," Lance said when I arrived at his side. "You sure clean up nice." I nodded my head. "You too, Lance."

Lance grinned and eyed me appreciatively. Alcide seemed to recover even more slowly than Lance. "Sookie, you look wonderful," he said, taking my arm and leaning in for a kiss on the cheek. "Come, I want to introduce you to some important members of the Pack that you may not have met yet."

The nightclub had a band that began striking some pretty good tunes. My dance card started filling up quickly. I felt many male eyes on me and some jealous female ones also. I felt beautiful, I felt like somebody, and this night belonged to me. Although I was approached by several different good-looking men who wanted introductions, Lance stuck by my side. I found he was really easy to talk to and had a great sense of humor. We had been talking and dancing for a few minutes when I noticed a slight hush come over the room as a very tall and commanding guest walked in.

I looked up just in time to see my rock star of a vampire ex-lover lean over Kendall, the pretty waitress from Fangtasia, as he removed her wrap and led her to a table. Eric looked amazing as always in a black Armani suit, crisp steel blue shirt, and thin designer tie, his hair tied back in a ponytail. Kendall looked adorable in a tiny black halter dress, very short with a sequined flounced skirt. They were looking at each other and laughing. I turned my head quickly and leaned in Lance's shoulder, which seemed to make him happy. Chill, Sookie, chill, I told myself. Don't do anything stupid, just be cool.

I took a deep breath and regrouped. I needed to think clearly and act rationally. Because right now I had a big fucking problem.

And fucking Eric had a fucking date, that's what fucking Eric had.

We may have to work on the cussing thing at a later date.

"You okay Sook," Lance asked. I guess I had started gripping his shoulders a little too tightly. I relaxed my hands and smiled. "I'm fine," I said. "I could use another drink." Lance promptly walked me off the floor to the table we were sharing with Alcide and Bethany. "I'll get that drink," he said with a wink before disappearing.

I could just sit there and sit at the table and wait for him to make a move. But tonight I just didn't want to wait for him. I braced myself, stood up, and turned toward Eric's table.

Now, most of the time with Eric I feel terribly outgunned in the romance department, or just about any department, for that matter. I knew I had some charms, and was pretty enough, but I felt way out of my league compared to him. He was such a model of male beauty, completely perfect in every way. He had lived so long, seen too much, and had been with many, many women. I felt like a puppy someone tossed into a tsunami most of the time around him, desperately trying to learn how to paddle along and keep up. But tonight, I felt different. The new job, the fabulous dress, and all of the positive attention I had gotten from the men in the room made me more confident. I knew, at this particular moment in time, that at least in the looks department, Eric and I were nearly matched, if only for a little while. Tonight I felt like I could compete in his weight class, so to speak, and I needed to make the most of it.

I slowly made my way across the room to their table. About fifteen feet before I got there Kendall stood up and excused herself. Eric stood also, an unusually chivalrous move for him I noted, and as he turned around and started to sit back down he saw me. I locked my gaze with his and kept making my way forward. If I could freeze-frame a point in time, this moment would be one for the record. He stopped in a half-sitting position, his gaze never leaving me. He looked me up and down at least three times before standing up again. I could have warmed my hands in front of the fire in his eyes. His smile faltered for just a second, and I caught it. I felt completely gratified.

"Hello, Eric," I said as I got close enough. "So nice to see you here."

Not one to lose composure for long, Eric smirked. "Something tells me you're not so glad to see me. But you are looking gorgeous as always, Sookie," he said. "I'm sure Alcide is quite proud." Anger laced those last words.

"I'm not here with Alcide," I snapped. "Good," said Eric, not missing a beat. He held out his hand. "Dance with me." It was not a request.

The band began Genesis' "In The Air Tonight," as we took the floor. Eric pulled me in a little tighter than necessary and immediately buried his face in my hair. I couldn't speak, and thankfully he didn't try to. I found myself suddenly overwhelmed by his touch, the proximity of his body to mine, the music. I realized I had been waiting for this ever since I saw him enter the room. His embrace tightened, and I closed my eyes and breathed his scent. Nothing else seemed to matter; and for a split second, there in his arms, everything was right with the world. I felt the bond, something I hadn't felt in months, pulse with life and longing. Then I realized I had rarely dreaded anything in my whole life the way I dreaded the end of that song.

But it did end. We paused for a minute, reluctantly pulled apart and headed from the floor, hands still intertwined. Just about that time Lance arrived at my side with my gin and tonic.

"Here you are Sookie," Lance said as he handed me my drink. I remembered my manners and dropped Eric's hand. "Lance, this is Eric Northman, owner of Fangtasia," I said. "Eric this is Lance Herveaux, Alcide's cousin." The two men nodded at each other.

"Sookie, Alcide asked me to introduce you to some senior chamber members," Lance said. I excused myself from Eric and followed Lance's lead as we walked away from the table. The whole time I could feel Eric's eyes boring holes into my back. "Boy, that guy seemed pissed," Lance whispered. "He your ex or something like that?"

"Something like that," I muttered non-committedly, kicking back the entire gin and tonic in one swallow. We spoke with some more commerce members before I spied Madelyn from the dress shop standing in a corner all alone. I left Lance's side for a moment to speak with her.

"Hi, it's great to see you," I said, giving her a huge hug.

"Oh, I wouldn't have missed this for the world," she said. "I had tossed the invitation but I dug it out of the trash just so I could see you in that dress." Her eyes warmed as she regarded me. "You look simply stunning, and every man in this room wants you."

I felt my cheeks warm as I laughed. If Claudine ever wanted to give up her job as my fairy godmother, I knew who I would choose in her place.

"Now which one is it going to be, honey?" Madelyn asked, her eyes flickering to Lance. "I've been watching you all night and this one right here is some kind of fine, but that one," she nodded toward Eric, "let me just say that everyone in the room can feel your chemistry. Which one did you wear the dress for, tell me the truth?"

"Which one you think it should be," I asked teasingly.

"Well, it makes more sense that you would go with the breather," she said after contemplating for a moment. "But something tells me your life isn't all about what makes sense. I'd say the smart money would be on the scrumptiously large work of art over there," she said, looking at Eric again just as he and Kendall headed for the dance floor. "Something's familiar about him, I just can't quite place it," she said, wrinkling her nose. "I need another drink," I mumbled. Madelyn smiled understandably and squeezed my arm. "Watch yourself, "she advised, as I turned toward the bar.

"Give me a shot of Cuervo Gold and a slice of lemon," I instructed the bartender. "It's the right thing to do."

I turned around to see Eric and Alcide switch dance partners. Eric leaned down over Bethany, laughing. He was really turning on the charm, I could see from her enthralled expression as he twirled her around the dance floor. Alcide looked like he could chew nails. I noticed the other women, on and off the dance floor, ogling Eric. Even though I knew how hard it was not to stare at him, I had an uncontrollable urge to slap every one of them in the face.

I shot the tequila, bit the lemon and groaned inwardly. It suddenly occurred to me that I may have been drinking too heavily for a work event. After visiting the ladies room and nearly stumbling as I stood up from the toilet, I knew I had screwed up.

'I'm crunk,' I thought. 'Really lit. Higher than a Georgia pine,' the confused swirl of thoughts racking my brain. 'What am I to do? I'm going to work with these people. The newspaper and televisions stations are here taking photos.'

I ran down the options in my mind. I didn't want to ask Lance to take me home, I had driven a company car here for Christ's sake, and I was way too inebriated to drive. I did not want to appear at the party again when I might be slurring or stumbling. I remembered that I had stuck a credit card in my evening bag. I left the bathroom as inconspicuously as possible and made my way over to the front desk. "I need a room," I informed the bored-looking young clerk. "We're all booked up because of the event," she said, twiddling with her eyebrow piercing.

"You gotta have something," I insisted, desperate.

"Wait, I do have the Presidential suite available. Since you're with the chamber, and since it's the only room left, I can give it to you half price," she offered. "Fine," I said, handing her my credit card,. "And could you have room service send up some strawberries and a bottle of Veuve Clicquot?" Hell, just because I was leaving the party didn't mean I had to quit having a good time. I had a new job, I could afford to splurge. And I didn't want to lose my high just yet.

The images of Eric with human women who weren't fangbangers had upset me more than I wanted to admit. In addition, I realized that up to this point Eric had probably been keeping me from seeing him with regular human women, out of consideration for my feelings. Great. I already felt guilty about the job thing, now I felt guilty about all the times he had seen me with other men. Why did he have to come here tonight and torture me with his presence? Damn vampires. Nothing but a bunch of buzz-killing sons-of-bitches, I groused inwardly as I meandered to the elevator and then to my room.

I caught my breath as I opened the door to my accommodations. It was a large suite, with an elegant sitting area and separ ate bedroom. It had been recently remodeled with luxurious furnishings, but the grandest part was a huge covered balcony that encased the entire length of the bedroom and sitting area. It was furnished complete with elegant ceiling fans and two humongous chaise lounges, both the size of queen-sized beds, made of heavy iron and covered with big fluffy white down cushions.

I flung open the double French doors leading onto the balcony and shouted, "Woo hoo," flopping down on the cushions of the nearest chaise. "This is where I'm spending the night."

I dragged all the bed clothes from the king sized bed and the pillows and made up my chaise. Ten minutes later my champagne and strawberries arrived and I started having a really good time. Over the course of the next half hour I did the following things, not necessarily in the following order;

Jumped on the bed until the remaining sheets came loose and the mattresses slid sideways.

Ate fifty bucks worth of mini fridge snacks. This consisted of a Kit Kat bar, a small bag of Cheez-its and an Orange Crush.

Yelled from the balcony at some teenage boys who were urinating on two palm trees near the river walkway down below. Hey, there's no excuse for that kind of behavior.

Ordered Ocean's Thirteen from the pay-per-view menu, and then gave up on watching it when a) I couldn't focus for any length of time on the TV screen and b) couldn't decide which hunk to look at when I could focus.

Continued to drink champagne, unfortunately.

At midnight I decided to fill up the ice bucket. I didn't really need any ice for anything, the champagne came with its own, but when I stay at a hotel, I go get ice, regardless. I had the presence of mind to check my hair and face in the mirror, just in case I saw someone from the party, before I padded down the hall, still in my dress but barefoot, to the ice machine.

I put the bucket under the dispenser and pressed the button. I blame the outrageously loud noise of the machine for not noticing who snuck up on me while I was unaware.

"Happy anniversary, lover," I heard a familiar masculine voice with a start. I looked up to see Eric leaning against the metal siding of the ice machine, looking down at me with warmth and amusement in his twinkling blue eyes. He had removed his coat and tie and unbuttoned the top of his shirt, the silken golden hairs of his chest showing just a wee bit. He looked more beautiful than any man, dead or alive, had any right to look. "Where's your boyfriend?" His voice hardened a little at this last bit.

I tried to recover as quickly as possible from the shock of seeing him. I poked him in the chest with a clearly non-sober finger. "That's exactly what I've been asking myself for the last three months," I said venomously, before grabbing the bucket and heading (wobbling a little) back to my room.