Twins say goodbye
Roxas P.O.V
We just got to Mako's house after Sora came into my room, we see Mako is on the door step crying so I immediately rush over and pull him into a hug. I wonder what as happened but I think I already know the answer to this...I just hope it isn't the thing I think it is. If it is then I feel horrible.
"Mako what happened?"
I question him as I continue to hug him tight.
"G-Grandmama is d-d-d-d-d-dead!"
He just said his grandmother is dead...so that means...he is leaving me soon...
I feel a tear slip out of my eye but I cover it up. Sora is also looking away, I can't tell if he is shedding tears or not. I know Mako is shedding a large amount of tears on my shoulder.
"Roxas she is gone."
"Its ok Mako I'm here."
I try and comfort him but he doesn't respond to me, instead he continues to cry large tears on my shoulder while I rub his back comfortingly.
I see that mom and dad have come to see what has happened. We explained what we know and they said that they would handle everything for Mako like funeral arrangements and such.
Sometime later the coroners came and collected Mako's grandmother after the paramedics had left. Mom and dad sorted all that stuff out like they said. The police are also here, though it is only one car and one police woman, she is currently talking to mom and dad.
Suddenly the police woman ceases her conversation with mom and dad and came over to us and started talking.
"Makoto, it is time to go."
"N-No. I-I don't want to go. I want to stay with Roxas."
That was Mako's barely audible reply to the police woman who sighed and shaked her head.
"I'm sorry son but you have to come with me now."
"No! I'm not leaving. I want to stay here. You can't make me leave. I haven't done anything wrong."
Mako said in defiance and tightened his grip on me.
I turn to mom and dad for help.
"Isn't there something we can do?"
I don't want him to go. He is shaking madly in my arms, he is petrified. All I want to do is protect him from this but can I do that?
Mom and dad then talked with the police woman about coming home with us but she kept saying no to them. I don't know what she wants with Mako but it seems my parents can't do anything to help.
"How about we make a deal. If you come with me now, I promise that you can spend your last few days with your friends here."
That is what the woman said to him and he nodded reluctantly, very reluctantly.
"I-I guess I have no choice. Ok but you said I-I could spend m-my last few days with Roxas right? Y-You aren't l-lying to me are you? Please t-tell me I-I can s-stay with R-Roxas and S-Sora."
"No I'm not lying to you. We just have some things to go over with you, in the morning, we will come back and you can spend your remaining days with your friends."
Mako nods and stands up and looks me in the eyes.
"I don't want to go. I'm scared. I can't do this alone. Please help me."
I then turn to the officer. He needs me and I need to help him.
"Can I not go with him? He is frightened."
The woman gives me a calculating glare.
"R-Roxas what are you..."
"Mom. Mako is frightened, I need to be there for him. He doesn't have anyone else, only me."
Mako then hugs me tight and we both look to the woman.
"It is highly unorthodox but you can go since Makoto wants you to go but you have to ask your parents first."
I nod in thanks.
"Is it alright?"
I directed to my parents and they nod.
"We will come along to the police station soon."
Mom said that then Mako and I are brought to a police car, we are then put into the back of it...I never thought I would ever be in one of these cars...at least I haven't done anything wrong, I am in here for the right reasons, not the wrong ones.
Mako comes over to me and places his head on my chest.
"I'm sorry Roxas."
I'm confused. What is he sorry for?
"Why are you sorry?"
I ask him this simple question, he takes his head off my chest and places a kiss on my lips so wrap my arm around his shoulder.
"I am so sorry. Making you do all this for me. I am such a coward. I shouldn't be crying like this. I can't cry yet, I should be stronger yet I am relying on you. In a few days I will be on my own, I am so scared. I want to stay with you Roxas. I want to stay with you forever, I want to be with you forever."
"I-I know you do. I want that too. But don't worry, I will come for you one day. I will always love you, don't forget that and you will be fine."
"W-Will I really be fine?"
He asks me that while averting his gaze.
"W-Whatever do you mean?"
"W-Will I be fine? Who knows what's going to happen now, who knows where I am going. But I do know that I love you and I always will."
He said he loves me. Even in his hour of sorrow, he still says he loves me.
"I love you Mako, don't forget."
"I will never forget."
He whispers to me and we embrace one another, the woman gets into the front of the car and starts the car.
"Ready boys?"
We nod to her and she then drives away.
As we are driving to the police station I presume, I notice Mako has fallen asleep on my chest. He is sleeping peacefully yet he still has a tear stained face.
"So what is your relationship to Makoto exactly?"
The woman asks me and I open my mouth then close it. Our relationship is boyfriends, can I say that to her? Well I will have to.
"He is my boyfriend."
"Oh I see."
She only said that. I don't care what she thinks, Mako is the only person I care about. He has a tight grip on my hand, even though he is asleep, he is still clinging to me for dear life.
He is so scared and I want to tell him everything is ok...but I don't know if I can. I can't lie and say that everything is ok when it isn't. I can't turn back time, I can't do anything to help him! I feel so fucking useless!
We get to the police station sometime later, I realize that it is 4.30 in the morning.
I shake Mako awake and he looks at me with sad eyes.
"T-That was a dream wasn't it? Please tell me that I fell asleep and grandmama is alive and waiting for me at home."
I hate to do this but I have to break the sad news to him again.
"I'm sorry but it wasn't a dream. It was real but don't worry, I am here for you."
He nods sadly at me and tries to hold back tears.
"Don't hold your tears back. Please cry Mako, you don't have to be brave around me."
"T-Thank you!"
He then burst out crying again while I console him. We was only celebrating his birthday a short time ago and now he has to deal with all this crap.
The woman gets out of the car and then comes and opens the door for us.
"Come on Mako. It is time to go, don't worry. I will be there every step of the way."
"R-Right. I'm so glad you are here. Otherwise I wouldn't know what to do."
We get out of the car and we are both then led inside of the police stations precinct.
Both of us are led to a waiting area. It is completely isolated from everyone which is a good thing as Mako and I can be alone.
"Sit down here please. Would you both like anything to drink?"
She asks us kindly.
"C-Could I have some water please."
Mako asks and she nods and turns to me but I wave her off. I don't want any drinks right now.
She then leaves to get the water I presume and we both sit down, actually he is sitting on my lap.
"Roxas once again, I want to say thank you."
He said thank you again but I wave him off.
"I said I would look after you didn't I? You are my cute boyfriend and I want to always look after you."
He then looks downwards.
"Mako don't worry about it, I said I would look after you."
"I-I know you will. I am horrible."
I then gain a confused look. Why is he horrible?
"W-Why are you horrible?"
"Because I'm placing such heavy burdens on you. Everything I do isn't good enough. I want to look after you but you always end up looking out for me instead."
I kiss the top of his head and he looks at me with his beautiful emerald eyes.
"You don't have to look after me. I will look after you, I want to look after you. Like you said that time, you want someone to look after you right? Then let me look after you."
"...Ok Roxas. I will let you look after me, please always be here for me. Even when I'm gone, please don't forget me. With grandmama gone, I'm all alone in this world. No one will care about me now...no one will care what happens to me now..."
"That isn't true! I care about you and I always will! Don't say that I don't because I will always care about you and I care what happens to you. I will never forget you and I will always be here for you. No matter what, you will be my future husband you know?"
He smiles and nods.
"R-Right, I will be your future husband."
So Mako wants to marry me! I am so happy! Even though this is a sad time, I feel so much for Mako and he wants to marry me.
"Exactly. You and I will be married one day so wait until that day. Until then, don't forget I am here for you. Even if we aren't married yet, we can still act like it can't we?"
He smiles and nods again.
"E-Exactly."
The woman comes back with the water and Mako takes it.
"Thank you."
He said that politely and then the woman left yet again. What is taking so long? If she wants to talk then shouldn't she get it over with so we can spend our last bit of time together.
"So R-Roxas what d-do you think s-she wanted me for? Is it t-to tell me about w-where I am going?"
He whispered that out to me.
"I-I don't know. It could be that...or did your grandmother leave a will?"
"...I don't know. She never said anything about a will to me. It could be possible."
I nod, it could be one or both of those things. Then again it could be nothing to do with that.
"I guess we will find out soon."
Mako drinks his water while holding my hand tight, he really is frightened. He must be distraught, he lost his grandmother and in the early hours in the morning, he is in a police station.
I'm happy that I was aloud to go with him, I don't want him to face this alone.
Sometime the woman comes back and we both are led into a room, it isn't anything spectacular, it is just a normal room...maybe it is just an office.
We both sit down with Mako taking to my lap, he loves sitting on me. Even in situations like this he does it. Maybe it is a way for him to find comfort from me. Then if it is then I will comfort him like this.
The woman sits down and looks to us seriously.
"I know that you just lost your grandmother but there is a will that she left and we would like to read it to you."
So it is about the will? Well I wish she would get on with it.
"S-So what does it say?"
He asks and she nods. Reading it to us, I got what it means. It basically said that Mako will get some money but he can't access it until his eighteenth birthday, it then came to his grandmother's funeral arrangements. It really seems that his grandmother planned that far ahead as she has stated to be buried next to her husband.
Then it came to the talk about Mako moving to an orphanage. It isn't even a local one, it is someplace over a hundred miles away. Why is it that far away? It isn't fair! There is one in this town yet he has to go over a hundred miles away!
"So do you understand all that son?"
The woman asks softly and Mako nods.
"Y-Yes I understand. I-I g-get to bury my g-grandmama t-then I have to l-leave forever..."
She nods.
"Yes exactly. We are sorry for your loss Makoto."
"S-So how long d-do I have l-left?"
"Your grandmothers funeral is the day after tomorrow and you will be leaving immediately afterwards."
So he is leaving the day after tomorrow...
"I-I understand."
Mako said sadly.
"I am sorry Makoto. I truly am sorry for your loss."
The police woman said once more.
"T-Thank you, c-can we go now?"
Mako asks and she nods.
"Once Roxas' parents gets here, you then can go. But for now you can wait in the waiting area again if you like?"
Mako looks to me and I nod.
"Yes lets go and wait there. I'm sure my parents wont be long."
Mako and I then stand up and once again, we are led to the waiting area and she then leaves once confirming that we are ok to wait here.
"The day after tomorrow and I am gone. It isn't fair. When I finally find someone I can spend the rest of my life with, I am ripped away from him."
He isn't speaking to me, but rather himself.
"Mako..."
I said to get his attention, he turns from looking at the wall to look at me instead.
"Yes Roxas?"
"We can stay in contact everyday you know? Phones and email and skype and even write letters to one another, so it isn't like we wont know what happens with one another."
"Yes but what if they don't have a computer? What if I am not allowed my phone? All these things might happen to me. Maybe you should just forget about me. After thinking about it, Roxas I am not worth it. Don't wait for me and live your life to the fullest. You deserve to be happy and if waiting for me makes you unhappy then don't wait for me."
Is he actually saying this to me!? I could never forget him and I will wait for him.
"I will always wait for you!"
He looks shocked before he shakes his head.
"Don't wait for me. I want you to be happy. Even if I was here, I couldn't make you happy anyway. I am a coward and always depend on others. Being in a relationship means looking after one another yet I can't do that because I am so useless. So please just forget, I wont mind if you forget me."
He actually thinks I can forget him? I can't forget him and I don't need him to look after me because I look after him.
"I wont forget. Will you forget me?"
He shakes his head with tears in his eyes.
"I will never forget you. You was my first and only boyfriend. You took my first kiss and I wanted you to take my virginity."
T-Taking his virginity!? H-He was actually g-going to give me his most precious thing? I-I can't believe that he just said that.
"R-Really?"
I ask in confirmation and he nods.
"Yes. I wanted you to be my first. I might have a small body but I could have pleasured you with it."
"I-I like your small body. You look really good like you do now. The most sexiest boy in the world, that is what you are to me."
He then smiles a little.
"T-Then m-maybe we could do s-something b-b-before I have to go."
He whispers that a little seductively and before I could question it, I notice that my parents have arrived with Sora in tow.
They notice us and come over.
"There you are. Are they done with you?"
Dad asks and I nod.
"Yes they are done now. It was just about what will happen to Mako now."
We both then stand up and Sora hugs Mako.
"I'm so sorry for your loss Mako."
Mako hugs Sora back.
"Its ok Sora. Thank you."
He takes Sora's hand and then mine and mom and dad then start walking out of the building with us following close behind.
Walking into the parking lot, I look to my watch and see that it is just past 5.30 in the morning, it sure is early and I am a little tired but I can't go to sleep. Just thinking about him leaving me the day after tomorrow is tearing me apart...I don't know what I will do when he goes.
We get into the car and Mako places his head on my shoulder.
Dad starts the car and drives home. The ride home was uneventful, we all stayed quiet, no one made a sound. I guess everyone is thinking about it, I know I certainly am. I can't stop thinking about it, I thought I was prepared for it but I know now that I am not prepared for it at all.
We get home and now it is close to 6 in the morning, I've been awake for so long now, nearly all night and I can't think about going to sleep now.
"Come on Mako. Lets go inside."
I say softly to him and he nods, almost emotionlessly.
"I need to tell Kairi. She needs to know."
He said that to me as we got out of the car.
"We can call in a few hours. Its still a little too early for us to call."
"I guess so. Can I go and lie down?"
I nod and once we have gotten into the house, I lead him into my bedroom where he just collapses onto the bed.
"I will let you get some rest."
I turn to leave, only to feel a hand grip mine tightly.
I turn to the hand gripping mine and see Mako looking at me with pleading eyes.
"Please stay. Please stay with me."
I nod at him and he pats the side of him, I climb into bed after taking my shoes off, I'm not going to bother taking off my clothes since he hasn't either, actually he hasn't taken his shoes off yet.
"S-Shouldn't you take your shoes off?"
I ask him and he nods, he then takes his shoes off and lies back down with his body very close to mine!
"Umm...w-what are you d-doing?"
"I want you to hold me. I want you to tell me everything is ok."
H-He wants me to tell him a lie?
I wrap my arms around his body and bring him closer to me, this is what he wants and I will give him what he wants.
"I-I will hold you but I can't say everything is ok because I just don't know whether everything will be ok or not."
"Lie to me."
He wants me to actually lie to him...is it a comfort thing?
"Everything will be ok."
"Thank you."
He thanked me for lying to him.
I see that his eyes then start closing so I kiss his forehead ever so slightly, he looks up at me briefly before closing his eyes completely.
My eyes are heavy now due to being awake for a while now, I will also have a little sleep since Mako is asleep. I close my eyes and I feel my consciousness slip away.
I wake up sometime later, I look at my phone and see that it is just turned 11 in the morning...wait Mako's body isn't close to mine...where is he?
I look around the room yet I don't see him anywhere.
I decide to go downstairs, he must be downstairs.
I open my bedroom door and close it once I have gotten out of my room and I then head down the stairs, only to see that Mako is downstairs...with Sora on the couch.
"Hey Mako."
I speak out, he looks at me with emotionless eyes...no sadness or anything...just emotionless.
"Hello Roxas."
I go over to the couch and sit on the other side but he doesn't even come over to me, doesn't sit on my lap or anything.
"Are you ok?"
I ask him concerned and he nods.
"I'm fine. Kairi is coming over now."
So Kairi is coming huh. Well I'm sure she will be able to help Mako since he looks almost dead inside.
"T-That's good isn't it?"
"Yes. Kairi will be here soon. Roxas will you hug me?"
He wants a hug off me? That's fine, I go over to him and pull him into a hug with him resting his head on my shoulder.
Sometime later a knock is heard at the door and Sora gets it thankfully, Mako isn't even moving anymore, I have my arms wrapped around him but he is just like a statue, not moving or anything.
Sora comes back half a minute later with...
"Mako!"
Kairi rushes over and hugs Mako tight and he finally shows signs of moving again as hugs Kairi back.
"I'm so sorry Mako about your loss. I truly am sorry Mako."
"Thank you Kairi. I miss her so much."
He cried again and Kairi rubbed his back comfortingly.
"Its alright Mako, I'm here now."
Kairi comforted him while continuing her rubbing of his back. They then moved from the floor into the couch and stayed in a hugging position.
"K-Kairi, I-I have to g-go the day after tomorrow. I'm leaving for moonlight orphanage."
Yes that's the orphanage that is in moon city, of course that city is over a hundred miles away.
"W-Where is that?"
Kairi asks him with a raised eyebrow.
"Its in moon city."
Her eyes and mouth open wide.
"B-But that is so far away...why can't you stay in an orphanage around here? There is one only a few minutes away from here."
"I know its far but my parents said that in the event my grandmama dies, I would go to that orphanage. I was originally from moon city so maybe they thought I would like it better there but I don't like that city."
He was from there? Obviously I knew he wasn't from here as he moved here but I had no idea that he was from there.
"S-So you have to go there. W-When do you have to go on that day?"
"Straight after g-grandmama has been buried, so after her funeral."
"S-Straight after? W-Why so soon?"
He shrugs his shoulders at her.
"I don't know. I wish I could stay. I don't want to go to moonlight orphanage, I hate moon city."
Why does he hate it? Wasn't he from there originally?
"Why do you hate it?"
Sora questions.
"B-Because everyone didn't like me there. I got accused of having sex with lots of people even though I'm a virgin."
"Why would they accuse you of sleeping around?"
I ask. He faces me with a sad face.
"My former friend. He wanted to date me but I said no because I didn't like him like that. He wasn't happy about me rejecting him so in spite he said that I will have sex with anyone who asks for it. Then a bunch of people said that I had paid them to have sex with me, they was his friends. So rumours started going around the school saying I was a slut and everyone believed it. Even my other friends thought I had actually paid people to have sex with me. So that is why I hate that city, everyone believed him over me."
So people actually thought someone like Mako would pay people to have sex with him? He would never do that, he is too good to do that.
"Oh I see. Sorry about that Mako, you are obviously not a slut."
"T-Thank you Kairi. It still makes me mad that people would actually believe him over me. My friends believed him over me, even my teachers thought I was a slut. I don't want to go back there again."
She continues to hug him tight, I can see why he wouldn't want to go back there, if people treat him like that then I wouldn't want to go back either if people called me a slut and said I paid people for sex.
"Well they weren't your friends if they didn't believe you. You don't need them anyway, you have me! Plus you have your boyfriend here and his weird twin."
Sora looked a little angry at that while we all, even Mako chuckled at that.
"I'm not the weird twin! Roxas is the weird one! I'm the good one!"
"So does that mean Roxas is the evil twin then? If you are the good one then Roxas must be the evil twin."
I gain a tick mark at that little evil comment.
"I am not evil! I am the better twin! I'm not evil like Sora is!"
I laugh a little as he gains the tick mark I just had.
"How am I evil? I'm always the good one while you are usually the bad one. I'm not saying you can't be good, I'm just saying that you are mostly bad."
I sigh heavily as he continues to call me evil, well it is brightening Mako up as he is smiling.
Mon said we could stay home from school until Mako has to go so we can spend as much time with him as possible, I can't imagine him leaving, I feel like crying but I can't cry yet, when he is gone, I will cry then but until then, I will hold back my tears that I want to shed.
Like that, we spend all day together, Kairi and Mako practically clung to one another, they are close after all. If I didn't know Mako was gay then I could have sworn that they have deep romantic feelings for one another. Maybe that is true though for Kairi at least, she might have a crush on him, who knows. Then again she could just have a very deep feeling of familial love for him. It is most likely the latter of those two. But I wouldn't rule out the first one either, obviously nothing is going to happen with those two in a romantic sense but it is almost a certainty that Kairi just loves him like a brother.
We had lunch and dinner together, all four of us had a laugh all day. Even though Mako's looked more forced than natural. Well of course it would be, if my family all died the space of a few months then I wouldn't know what to do. His parents are gone, his grandmother is gone, he doesn't have a family left but he does have me and he always will.
Kairi left a few minutes ago, promising to come back tomorrow and we all said our goodbyes to her. Sora then left for his room but not before saying goodnight.
Mom and dad are in bed already as it is late. Ven is in bed also with Aqua who both know about Mako's grandmother and gave him condolences and he thanked them for it.
"So Mako, do you want to go to bed?"
He looks at the clock and nods, it is 10 at night and we have been up since the morning, even if we did have a little nap before.
"Yes lets go to bed."
I take his hand and lead him up the stairs, we get into my room and I get into the bed once I have gotten ready, so I'm just in my underwear now.
Mako however hasn't gotten into the bed, actually he has his back to me and is looking at the door...wait the door just locked. Mako locked the door? Why would he lock the door?
He turns to me and starts taking his clothes off, getting ready for bed. But I still don't understand why he locked the door. Does he want no one to disturb us?
He is now finished getting undressed...wait what is he doing? H-He is pulling down his underwear!? W-Why is he doing that!?
"Please make love to me."
He just asked me to have sex with him!? H-He is standing there completely naked! Damn he looks so beautiful...b-but why is he saying this all of a sudden?
His body looks incredible, such nice skin and such a nice lower area. His silky smooth legs and his tight little body, I-I want him...he just looks like the sexiest person in the world right now.
I sit up in the bed and look at his nicely shaped body, oooooooh god I want to have sex with him!
He comes over to me and pushes me down on the bed then he climbs on top of me and straddles my hips! He is actually straddling my hips! The only thing separating our bodies right now is the fabric of my underwear!
"Please Roxas. Please make me feel good."
I open my eyes wide at what he just said. I don't know what to say to him!
"W-Whats going on?"
I ask nervously and he smiles at me. That's the only thing that came out of my mouth.
"I want you Roxas. Please take me."
"Wait! Y-You want me to actually..."
I can't even finish that sentence but something doesn't seem right. I mean why now all of a sudden?
"Yes. I want us to share our love with one another. You are the person who I want to experience this time of love with."
Is he really being serious right now!? He seems serious to me. But I still have something telling me that something is wrong. He wouldn't do this without a reason, we haven't been together long yet he wants me to take his virginity?
"Shall we get started?"
He starts tugging at my underwear! Oh god I want him right now...but I need to stop this.
As I was about to say something to him, he plants his lips onto mine! As we are kissing, I feel his penis is getting harder and it is pressed against my stomach, in response to that, I'm also getting an erection! I can't control my body! I'm honestly trying to stop but I want him...
He breaks the kiss and looks directly into my eyes.
"Roxas it seems you are turned on. Is it because of me by chance?"
I nod a little and he smiles at me again with a blush then he starts nibbling my neck!
"Aah..."
I moaned out as he continues his nibbling, damn this boy is erotic. I breathe unevenly as his teeth continue attacking my neck in little bites.
Soon after he stops to my unspoken protest and looks at me with an innocent expression.
"I'm glad you think I'm attractive. Roxas even though I have never done it before, I will use my mouth first before we go all the way."
H-H-H-HE IS GOING TO GIVE ME A BLOW JOB!?
"U-Using your mouth?"
I ask with a blush, he nods at me.
"Yes, oral sex. People usually do that before going all the way right? Please let me do this."
He moved off my body and once again tugged at my underwear, my breath hitched. My heart is pounding so fast and I'm feeling a little flushed. My body is screaming at me that I want him now but I'm going to have to go with my head on this one, not what my lower head is telling me what to do.
I tried to speak but Mako has completely taken off my underwear! I'm completely naked now!
"Wow Roxas you are big. Can I start?"
C-Can he start? I-I want him too but I best stop this now.
"Mako why are you doing this?"
He looks at me with a surprised face.
"W-What do you mean?"
I take a deep breath before answering.
"You don't want to do this do you? You're shaking."
"I-I'm shaking with excitement."
He just lied to me saying that, he is nervous.
"No. You don't want to do this do you?"
He looks sad for a second before adopting an angry look.
"Don't you want me?"
"W-What?"
"You don't want me. You're saying I'm shaking but I'm not. You don't want me do you? I thought you loved me yet you don't want to have sex with me? Is there something repulsive about me?"
Why is he saying these things all of a sudden?
"I do want you."
I whisper out but he catches it.
"Then why don't we start then? If you want it and I want it then why are you stopping me?"
He asks me a valid question, I don't want to stop him but I have to stop him.
"Because I know you aren't doing this for the right reasons. You're doing this because of what happened aren't you? This is just away for you to get comfort right?"
"...No. I want you to take my virginity."
His eyes welled up with tears.
"Then why are you crying?"
"B-Because you wont pleasure me. If you don't want to be with me Roxas then just say! I already know what I am, a whore right? Everyone thinks I am one. I might as well play the part before going back to moon city to prepare for it right? Since I'm known as the childlike whore, then I have to act like one wont I?"
I see what this is about now. Because he is going to moon city where people called him a whore, he thinks that I think he is one. Well I don't think he is one at all. He couldn't be one, even if he wanted to be. He is too shy and nice to be someone like a whore or something like that.
"You aren't a whore Mako. You never was one."
He then bursts out crying.
"I'm s-s-sorry R-Roxas. Its j-just with e-e-everything that is h-h-happening, I w-wasn't thinking s-straight. With m-moving back to that c-c-c-city, I know what will happen now. I'm g-going to be known as a w-w-whore. I thought that I w-wanted to have s-s-sex with you to get rid of these h-h-horrible feelings but I-I now k-know that isn't the right w-way to go a-about it."
I sit up in the bed and pull him into a hug.
"I don't blame you Mako. You was in a bad place, although it did take everything I had not to let you continue."
I say with a little laugh.
"You know Roxas. Even though I was doing it for the wrong reasons then, I really do want to be with you like that. This isn't anyone saying this but myself. I just want you to love me."
I kiss the top of his head and he snuggles into my chest.
"We have plenty of time to be together in the future."
"I guess we do. But Roxas, I still want to be with you ya'know? One day, please make love to me. When you are ready, I will be ready. I promise you Roxas."
I kiss the top of his head yet again and we lie down...but then I realize that we are both naked!
"M-Mako s-should we put our underwear back on?"
I ask with a little stutter.
"Do we have to? There is nothing more to hide since we have seen each other naked. No lets stay like this, if its you then I don't mind you seeing me naked."
H-He doesn't mind me seeing him naked huh...
"So you're really fine with me seeing you fully naked?"
He nods from my chest...he kissed my chest!
"M-Mako!"
He looks up at me with such an innocent expression.
"Sorry Roxas. I just wanted to kiss your chest, you don't mind do you?"
I shake my head at him and he starts sucking on my left nipple!
"M-Mako w-why are you doing that?"
I moan out a little, damn his little mouth sucking my nipple feels good!
"To make you feel good of course. Roxas I just want to make you feel good. I know we aren't going to make love but I still want to make you feel good."
He said that while pinching both of my nipples!
"W-Wait Ma-Mako...y-you c-can't p-pleasure me l-like that...u-unless I pleasure y-you too."
"Y-You w-want to pleasure me?"
He asks with a shy expression and a cute blush, I then nod.
"I do but not until we are both ready."
He nods in understanding and places his head on my chest yet again.
"You know, Roxas' thing is quite big isn't it?"
H-He thinks I'm big!?
"I-I guess it is, b-but its only like that b-because of you."
"I will make you feel good there one day, you can put yourself inside me, since you're on top right?"
I do want to be on top, Mako is the more submissive type while I'm more of the dominating type when it comes to us, but that's not to say that Mako doesn't have his moments like then when he forced me on the bed and took off my underwear.
"Yeah I'm on top."
I playfully say to him.
"I want to be bottom anyway. You can do all the work Roxas, ehehe."
I'm glad he is brightening up again after what happened a few minutes ago, when he was going to do stuff with me, there was almost no light in his eyes, no hint of his normal self but now he is going back to normal.
"Oh no, you can do some work Mako."
"Yeah! I will ride you!"
He promptly blushes and so do I, yeah Mako is back to normal now.
"Should we go to sleep now, my angel?"
"A-Angel? You think I'm your...?"
I bob my head at him.
"I do think you are my angel boy. You know Mako, I have something to confess."
He takes his eyes off my chest and focuses his eyes on my eyes.
"W-What do you need to confess?"
I avoid his gaze, I don't want to have any secrets from him anymore.
"B-Before I had actually met you, I asked someone I know to find out things about you."
"W-Why?"
He questions me and I lower my head in shame.
"Because I saw a picture of you and I thought that I could finally get everyone to focus on me for a change and I never really thought about how you would feel. I just thought about myself and I'm sorry about that. I was going to use you to get attention."
I start letting a tear fall from my left eye but Mako wipes it away.
"You don't have to apologize to me. You didn't do anything wrong, you just wanted attention right? I have done things to get peoples attention but they never really worked, like when I came out to my family, they didn't even bat an eyelid at me. So don't apologize to me."
He truly is a kind soul, he doesn't even mind that I used him like that.
"But I did find you cute, those are my honest feelings."
"I see, Roxas from the first moment I met you, I felt an attraction straight away...but why did you want everyone's attention anyway? Do you not get enough or something?"
I avoid his gaze again.
"You see, before you and even now, no one pays attention to me. Everyone usually focuses on Sora and Ven."
"W-Why would everyone focus on them? And when you say everyone, who do you mean?"
I continue to avoid his gaze but he then puts his delicate hand to my cheek and makes me look him in the eyes.
"Because, I think that because I'm gay, my family don't really care about me. Everyone is always talking about how artistic Sora is or how Ven is doing in college and other things about those two that is praiseful. No one ever says anything about what I do...its like my achievements don't matter. I try and try but no one ever says anything about what I do that is an achievement, I try my best in school but everyone talks about Sora's school achievements while mine are left out."
I start sobbing but Mako sits up in the bed and hugs me into his chest.
"I'm so sorry you feel like this Roxas. But you don't need everyone to pay attention to you, because I will pay attention to you. I will give you so much attention that you will be sick of me soon, ehehe."
He strokes my hair comfortingly and kisses the top of my head. That is comforting.
"T-Thank you Mako. But sometimes I feel like everyone doesn't like me."
"Why would you say that? I like you, in fact I love you."
I shake my head at him from his smooth chest.
"I didn't mean you, I mean everyone else. Like Kairi and Riku are Sora's friends while I just tag along, Axel is an annoying bastard but he is the only person that talks to me, even if he pisses me off. But I actually haven't talked to him since I met you."
"Even if no one likes you, I love you. But you are wrong about everyone not liking you. I know for a fact that Sora and the others like you. Please believe me when I say that no one hates you and everyone likes you. You have a likeable personality."
I have a likeable personality? Really? I thought that I was a little annoying and in your face kind of person but he said I have a likeable personality.
"How do you know what to say Mako?"
"Because I can read you like a book!"
We both share a little laugh while I snuggle into Mako's smooth chest...its usually him snuggling into my chest but right now, I want to snuggle into his chest.
"...Please don't leave me."
I just said that out loud! I didn't mean to say that!
"I wont leave you. Even if I'm far away, we will always be connected. Our hearts will be connected."
I then burst out crying! I didn't want to cry until he was gone! He will think I am a coward or something, or just plain stupid for crying.
"Shh, its alright. I'm here Roxas. Don't keep your feelings in around me. Let out all that bottled up upset feelings."
"I can't be without you! You have become someone that I can't do without! I love you, please don't leave me! I can't be alone again! Please don't leave me, Mako please don't go."
I'm pouring what is in my heart to him, I don't want to but the words are coming out.
"I know, its the same for me. I can't live without you and I love you too. But Roxas, we have to be strong for one another. Being in a relationship means we have to be strong for one another."
"Y-You are right, b-but once you go...I will be alone again. I know I can't really say anything since its you that is leaving but I don't want to be alone again. Before you came into my life, I had no friends, barely any family, I had no one."
"Don't think that. Don't think about me leaving, think about me returning. I know I said this morning that I want you to forget me, but I don't want you to. One day we will be together again. I will crawl my way back to you if I have to. Also don't forget, I'm marrying you."
He truly wants to marry me.
"You would marry someone like me? Wouldn't you rather have Sora? He is better than I am, he is the better looking one, he doesn't come with such bottled up emotions like I do. He is better at everything, I'm just useless."
"No I don't care about all that. Roxas don't compare yourself to Sora. Even though you are twins, you are so different. Roxas just don't think that I would never want you. I gave you my first hand holding, my first kiss, my first bed sharing, my first time being naked in front of someone, and most importantly, I'm giving you my virginity."
He has given me so many of his firsts and its the same for me, all of those things he has given me, I have given him also.
"Y-You would actually give me something so precious?"
"Yes you idiot. I'm giving you my virginity. Am I getting yours?"
I look up at him from my position on his chest and he is smiling down at me.
"Of course! You are going to be my first and only!"
"Say Roxas, shall we run away together, just the two of us?"
Is he being serious!?
"Seriously!?"
"Ehehe just kidding. Can you imagine what people would say if we actually did do that? But one day, we will be together."
I nod at him and we lie back down with my head still on his chest, even though I vowed to myself to always be strong for him, right now he is being strong for me.
"Good night Roxas. I love you."
"Good night Mako. I love you and I always will."
We look into one another's eyes and I can see the love bond between us, I am completely in love with him. He has seen me at my worst yet he was kind to me. I've seen him at his worst and I helped him, we just belong together.
We push our lips together in a comforting manner, aah this feeling makes me feel better.
I then place my head back onto his chest, his soft smooth chest. Its the best pillow. I then close my eyes and drift off to sleep.
I wake up the next morning and see that Mako is still asleep. Aah I let out my feelings out to Mako last night. Everything I kept inside until last night, I'm so glad I was able to finally reveal what I have kept in for so long.
He didn't judge me or say anything nasty to me, he actually accepted me and my problems without hesitation...I love him.
He starts moving around a little sometime later, indicating that he is about to wake up.
He opens his eyes and then locks onto my eyes and looks at me lovingly.
"Good morning Roxas, how are you feeling?"
We then shift positions so that his head is on my chest, he has his arms draped on my stomach.
"Yeah I slept good, your chest is really soft to sleep on."
"Oh thank you. I like sleeping on your chest, can I sleep on your chest tonight?"
He looks at me with pleading eyes and I can't say no to him when he has such an adorable face on.
"Yes of course you can!"
He moans a little...what is he moaning at? It was a little sensual moan.
"Mako, why did you moan then?"
"M-M-My ummm...my thing b-brushed a-against y-your leg."
He blushes at me with an innocent look and I blush also.
"D-Don't worry about it."
I say to him and he nods from my chest.
"Roxas, once again, I wan to say that I am sorry for last night. I said some horrible things and I tried to force you into something neither of us are ready for."
"You don't need to apologize. Maybe I should apologize for pouring out my feelings like that to you. Even though you have your own problems to deal with, I practically pushed my own problems onto you."
I apologize but he waves his hand off at me.
"I'm glad you told me. Roxas you are my boyfriend. You should tell me when you're hurting, you have been hurting for a long time now and I want to help you."
"Thank you Mako. Yesterday was very emotional for both of us, wasn't it?"
He nods his cute head at me.
"It was. We both shed tears, we both showed our lowest point to one another...but we overcame that as a couple. We did it together and this is a turning point for both of us."
A turning point...
"Yes it is a turning point. We both needed that last night."
"We did. Anyway, Roxas, can we do something fun today? This is my last full day because tomorrow..."
He becomes sad again so I kiss the top of his head, its our way of comforting one another, he kissed my head last night and I kiss his head to comfort him.
"Yes lets do something enjoyable."
"Thank you for everything Roxas, I mean that...I truly do mean that Roxas."
Damn this boy knows how to push me the right way.
Like that we both got dressed but I also got a perfect shot of his cute little ass while he stood up! Last night I didn't see his ass, I only saw his penis but his ass looks so tight and cute!
He notices my eyes on his cute ass and I blush embarrassed.
"You can look if you like. If its you, I don't mind Roxas. So continue to stare at my butt if you like."
He must really love me to let me stare at his perfect ass freely.
"Y-You really don't mind?"
He shakes his head at me and then points to something in my direction, his extended finger is pointing to my...
"Can I stare at that? Its really big Roxas. You went to bed like that and now you have woken up like that."
He wants to stare at my penis?
"Y-You can if you want."
He beams at me and once we are dressed we head downstairs. Getting down the stairs, we go to the breakfast table where breakfast has been laid out, I don't see anyone else though.
"I wonder where everyone is?"
He wonders aloud, he turns to me and we both sit down.
Like that we spent the day together, we later found out that everyone went out to either work or college, Sora came down the stairs sometime later and we all spent the day together along with Kairi who also came over like she said she would.
We had a fun day, we spent the last day together like I thought we would. We was just laughing and other things like that, obviously there was also some crying but not as much as yesterday.
We also had a fair well dinner for Mako, it wasn't anything to extravagant as he said that we shouldn't bother spending so much money on a dinner alone.
"So Mako, remember we have to stay in contact."
I hear Kairi say and Mako nods.
"Y-Yes we will stay in contact."
"Phone me everyday!"
He nods at her a little and we resume our activity of eating the last of the meal. Not long after we went to bed again, we did spend all day having fun. We didn't go out anywhere but we did have fun together. I couldn't have asked for a better day with Mako, we where practically in each others arms all day.
We can be this close now but once tomorrow comes...no like he said before, I should think about him returning, not leaving...but my mind does keep drifting to him departing. I can't help but think that he and I will be ok. I will be depressed but I will still wait for him.
"Well Roxas, shall we go to bed?"
The sweet voice of my angel alerted me to the real world again, I had let my mind wonder then and now its back in the real world.
I quickly glance at the clock to see that it is just past 10, we went to bed about this time last night, but we didn't go to sleep straight away though.
"Yes lets go to bed, tomorrow Mako..."
"Yes I know tomorrow..."
We take one another's hand and we head up the stairs.
Once getting into my room, I turn to see Mako is stripping again...I decide to ask him about it.
"S-So are you...ummmm...sleeping in your underwear?"
After slipping off his pants he looks at me with curious eyes.
"D-Do you want me naked again?"
He asks me with a stutter, I don't know how to answer that, on the one hand, I do want him naked, on the other hand, I don't want him to feel uncomfortable.
"I-Its up to you. I-I don't mind either way."
He then pouts at me adorably.
"But that doesn't answer my question. Either way I'm fine. So I will ask again, do you want me naked?"
Aah he isn't going to let this go is he? He wants me to decide? I want to say yes, yes that is what I want. I might not see his naked body for a long time and I want it burned into my memory!
"I-If you are ok with it then w-would you sleep naked?"
He gives me an affirmative nod and with one swift movement, he slips off his underwear, he then kicks them to the side.
He is standing there in all his glory, damn he looks so good.
"R-Roxas...w-would you sleep naked f-for me?"
He wants me naked also!? I-I guess that would be fine since we did sleep naked last night, ok I will just tell him as much.
"So you want to see me naked Mako?"
I flirt and wink at him and he blushes and nods.
"Y-Yes seeing Roxas naked is good. I-I want to see your...thing again."
Its so cute that he wont say penis, he says thing! Such a cute quality to have, Mako is a little cutie when he acts all shy.
"Alright, just because its you. I don't want to be naked in front of anyone else, only you."
I take off my own clothes and then it comes to my underwear.
"Take them off mister!"
He playfully said with a chuckle so I do as my cute boyfriend commands and take off my underwear.
I'm now standing in front of him fully exposed to him and he is looking at me with such a huge blush.
"You know, before seeing you naked, I have never seen anyone else naked. People usually look at porn at our age but I have never gone near a porno magazine, what about you Roxas?"
He wants to know if I look at porn!? W-Why is Mako such a weirdo sometimes? But I would still never change him, he is sooooo innocent but sometimes sooooo clueless?
"N-No I haven't looked at porn before."
I say with a red face, I have looked at it once or twice before but I don't want him to think I'm a perv or something.
"You are such a liar. I found some under your bed last week."
I do a spit take at his words, he then comes over and pushes me down on the bed!
He climbs on top of me and straddles my hips again! But this time, there isn't anything there so our genitals are touching...
"So Roxas, in that porn I found, I didn't look inside but I guess there was lots of naked guys in it right?"
I nod slowly.
"What do you prefer, the guys in that porn magazine or me?"
Well that's a question with an obvious answer.
"I prefer you of course!"
He nods to himself and then gets off my hips, I whine at the lose of contact between our respective body parts, however he puts his head on my chest and I wrap my arm around him, with my hand resting on his hip.
"Well I guess this is a good night for the last time in a while Roxas."
I nod at him and he smiles up at me.
"But it isn't forever."
"That's right!"
We get into our positions and I close my eyes with the boy I love on my chest, I love this feeling. Its like we are actually married but of course we aren't yet but in the future...
With those thoughts in my mind, I drift off to sleep.
Its the next day and we have just woken up together in each others arms.
"Today's the day."
He mutters to himself.
"It is."
I mutter out, I knew this day was coming but now that it is here, I don't want to get out of this bed, staying with Mako in bed forever.
We both got out of the bed, got dressed for the funeral and headed downstairs where everyone from our family plus Aqua and Kairi are sitting down.
We ate breakfast and everyone made last minute preparations before heading out. We all got into either mom or dads car and left for the funeral.
We get to the funeral and some people turned up, mostly old people who I guess must have known Mako's grandmother, the service itself was a nice one, some people said some nice things about his grandmother.
When it was Mako's turn, at first he froze but then gained the confidence to talk about her. He said some nice things but broke down at the end of it and came rushing into my arms and cried onto my chest.
Soon after they put her body into the ground in a coffin of course, everyone there shed some tears. Afterwards a person came up to Mako.
"Its time to go."
He showed us some badge and it said he was from the moonlight orphanage, knowing what this meant, Mako reluctantly nodded.
"I understand. What about all my stuff?"
"All your belongings are in the car."
He nods again and Mako then starts saying goodbye to each and everyone, when saying goodbye to Kairi, they both burst out crying, when saying goodbye to Sora, he cried but Sora didn't but I could tell that he wanted to, Mako even cheek kissed Sora who looked surprised.
Finally it came to me.
"G-Goodbye Roxas, I-I love you."
He then hands me something, as I'm about to look he grabs my face and kisses me! I have to remember the feel of his soft lips, the way his hair smells, the way he looks now, I have to remember everything about him.
"Read that when I'm gone. I wrote it as soon as we got together, please read it after I'm gone and the first thing I want to hear when you see me next is the answer to the question in that letter. I-I love you, please don't forget me."
I pull him into a hug and nod.
"I wont forget you. I love you."
With one last kiss, he starts going towards the car. The man opens the door and Mako gets in but not before taking one last look at us and waving. He then gets into the car and waves his hand at us as the man gets into the car and drives him out of my life.
I then look at this letter he gave me, I start reading it...
"Of course I will Mako you cute idiot."
AN: Well that's it everyone I guess this story is...not finished yet! But Mako has gone now but for how long? Days? Weeks? Months? Or even years? Well it will be revealed next chapter so keep reading, also my birthday is tomorrow so be kind and review! To l14141 Thank you for the nice review, well here is the next chapter lol, hope you enjoyed it. I also hope everyone enjoyed the chapter and thank you to all those who follow and favourite this story, until next time!