Author's note: If anyone else is frustrated by the slow pace of this let me tell you that I share that frustration, however I don't want to rush into things either. I just want to get to Never Been Kissed and for the action to really pick up… *my fic problems*

GRILLED CHEESUS – CHAPTER THREE

"Hey dad," Kurt greets, striding in to the garage, paper bag dangling from his hand. He was in two minds about popping in to see his dad, but then thought that if he was right on time for school it would mean less time in the hallways for Sebastian to pinch his ass, and the chance of a dumpster dump of locker slam would be close to nil, with the jock meatheads already safely in homeroom. That's the theory anyway.

"Hey, there's my boy…"

"You forgot your breakfast. Suzanne Summer's says that skipping breakfast is suicide."

He holds out the paper bag and his dad takes it from him, opening it to inspect the contents, and sure enough he looks up at him in confusion.

"What's this?"

"It's an egg white wrap on a sprouted wheat tortilla, half a grapefruit and a green drink." It's exactly what he had for breakfast, and he knows his dad will eat it because he's made it. He's careful not to lean up against anything in his clothes, doesn't need grease on them, especially the

"Where's my usual breakfast?

"A coke and two slim jims?"

"Yeah. Breakfast of champions."

He rolls his eyes, it's no wonder his dad and Finn get on so well when their idea of a balanced diet is something in each hand.

"Dad you are not a kid anymore, you have to start taking care of yourself."

"I guess with enough hot sauce this'll be alright. Thanks."

He rolls his eyes again, so much for his dad appreciating his hard work making him breakfast.

"Hey, don't forget, Friday night dinner is six instead of seven this week, Carole and Finn are coming over and she has to work the night shift."

Oh shit. He'd sort of forgotten about that. Guilt courses through him, because he knows his dad likes these dinners, but…

"I…I can't do this Friday, I have sing-along Sound of Music at the Albert Royal Theatre. It's a once-a-year event."

"And last week you had to camp out early so you could be first in line for those Grey's Anatomy DVDs."

"Season six dad." He'd forgotten about that already. Two Fridays in a row. He can feel the guilt sitting heavy in his stomach, making him feel guilty. He tries to shake it off. He's entitled to a life of his own.

"These Friday night dinners are a ritual in our family, one your mom started."

"I know, but I'm a teenager. Friday nights are kind of important to me. Why are you making me feel guilty about this? I of all people know how important the relationship is between you and Carole," he retorts, and it's sharper than he intended, and his dad hasn't said anything to make him feel guilty really, but he's doing a good enough job of it himself.

"These dinners are more than important. They're sacred. The whole point of having something sacred is that it takes precedence over anything else you've got going on."

"Sing-along Sound of Music is sacred to me."

"You think I don't know that? Wasn't I the one that bought you that Maria bonnet when you were six?."

Oh my god, he's bringing up the bonnet…

"Look, the point is you start giving up stuff like Friday night dinners then you've got nothing to hold on to. Okay, let's face it Kurt, if we don't schedule it, then we don't hang out. If we don't hang out then our lives they just go right by each other. We don't share very much."

"I'm sorry, but I'm not missing something I've looked forward to all year just for another dinner… Maybe we could do it Thursday or something."

"I got to tell you Kurt, I'm a little disappointed in you."

He lets out a little huff as he leaves. His father's disappointment is always far worse than his anger.

FTY

Sebastian's kind of come to expect crazy at the Glee Club practices now. Or drama. Or crazy drama. The fact that he's yet to be part of it makes him feel a little left out, especially now that all scandal regarding the completely-true-rumors about him being gay has died down. He'd kind of enjoyed all eyes following him down the hallway. He hasn't enjoyed the increase in body checking he's been receiving, and the checking of his body into lockers? He hates that. The fact that no one seems to notice or care is infuriating, and Kurt's resigned nature tell him that it's nothing new.

"Mr Schue, I have something to say. Something happened to me. And, I can't really get into it, but it's shaken me to me core..."

Oh good. Drama.

"Oh my god, he's coming out!" Puck exclaims, and he hides a grin. Finn Hudson is clearly a nice guy, innocent, but also painfully straight.

"Well yes, there recently has been a man that has come into my life…and…" He turns to Kurt only to find him staring at Finn in a worryingly intense way. Competition? Bring it on. "And that man is Jesus Christ."

He blinks. Well, at least he isn't the only one completely blind sided by that judging from the dropped draws and stares Finn is now receiving.

"That's way worse," Puck says, and he has to agree with him.

"And I know there're others here that dig him too, so I thought maybe this week we could pay tribute to him. In music. You know. Pay tribute to Jesus."

"Sorry. Uh. But if I wanted to sing about Jesus I'd go to church. And the reason I don't go to church is because most churches don't think very much of gay people. Or women. Or science."

"I don't see anything wrong with getting a little church up in here," Mercedes interjects, and then discussion breaks out. He listens and observes, wondering how this group make it from one week to the next without ripping each other's throats out because they're all so different.

Kurt looks bored, and he tries to catch his eye, share an eye roll or something but Kurt is avoiding even looking at him. Next time he'll just arrive late to ensure he can sit beside him. Rachel is still looking horrified that Finn has declared his love for Jesus in front of everyone, and he kind of wants to sneak his phone out and catch it on camera because she looks so funny. He can't help but find the whole thing amusing.

When Puck sings 'Only the good die young' Kurt doesn't get involved, instead he sits there on his phone, probably playing a game or something. He's torn between joining Kurt and sitting it out, in the vain attempt that maybe Kurt will thaw slightly, or joining in. He doesn't care about what people believe, as long as they don't shove it down his throat he's willing to live and let live. He joins in, and when Kurt looks up he winks at him and licks his lips. That boy's going to be his.

FTY

"Dad? Can you hear me? If you can hear me, squeeze my hand. I'm holding yours right now. Just squeeze back. Come on dad. Just squeeze my hand."

FTY

Dave hears it from Az, but it's spread around the school the way information they're not meant to know does. Hummel had been in French class, talking French so fast Az had only caught every second word, but enough to know that Hummel had been insulting him again. But he knew something bad had happened when Mr. Schue and Ms. Pillsbury had both come and asked Kurt to go with them.

When he suggests that they leave off Hummel next week Az agrees readily enough, which is a relief, because usually after Hummel insults him all French class Az is ready to grind him into dust. He kind of worries about Hummel on his way home, kind of wanting to know whether his dad will be okay or not, although he's not sure why he should even care. He pulls into the driveway and heads inside and immediately freezes when the smell of roasting meat hits him.

Crap. He'd forgotten. Fancy dinner party. His parents entertaining or welcoming some new guy that now works for his dad. Ugh. He's going to have to put on his suit, and the last thing he wants to do is be on his best behavior. His dad is high up at Army National Guard, with a background in engineering and management Dave knows he's something like the Technical Manager, something the requires him to meet with a whole range of people anyway.

His mom insists that they need to foster a family environment in the workplace and every time there's a new person they have them around for dinner. Same when somebody leaves. Or is promoted. Or gets married. Or has a kid. It doesn't make him feel any closer to his dad's work, just awkward, sitting there when people ask him questions about whether he enjoys school, no doubt feeling equally awkward. Tonight's going to be no different.

Without having to be asked he takes his bag to his room, showers and changes into his suit. He then heads back downstairs and after finding out how many people starts to set the table. His dad. Mom. Himself. His brothers Drew and Ricky. Guests one, two, three and four. Clearly a family. At least that means there's less likely to be the awkward um-ing and ah-ing.

He double checks his mom doesn't need anything else and wonders whether he has some time to maybe play a computer game. He can hear Drew and Ricky playing on the Xbox in the den, yelling at each other as the no doubt shoot zombies in the face and he grimaces. He's the middle child, and he can't help but feel a bit hurt and baffled that Drew and Ricky get on better with each other than with him.

Instead of turning on his computer he picks up his kindle and starts off where he left off with his latest book, quickly engrossed. He knows he's zoned out, because his mom is standing in the doorway looking pissed, and he knows she's probably said his name a dozen times already to try and get his attention. He pulls an apologetic face and puts his kindle down and follows her to the dining room.

Fortunately there're no strange faces yet, so he knows she can't be too annoyed. He can hear his brothers clambering around getting ready, so it's probably residual anger at their complete lack of readiness. He hears the bell ring and his mom is all flustered and he holds back a huff, wanting to know who exactly she's trying so hard to impress. His brothers are used to the routine, both skidding to a stop beside him in the hallway, Drew giving him a little shoulder bump and a wide grin. He shakes his head and grins back.

When the other family is ushered in to meet them he can't believe his eyes. It's gay kid number two. Sebastian. He can hear all the parents talking, discovering that he and Sebastian are the same year at high school and therefore destined to become the bestest of friends. Yeah, no. Not going to happen. Ever. He smiles at him tightly, eyes narrowed and the douche smirks at him. Even outside of school he can tell the guy is a complete dick-wad.

He's on auto-pilot through grace and dinner, trying his best not to glare at gay-kid number two, because that'll alert his father to something being up faster than anything else. His mom wouldn't notice, too intent on ensuring drinks are always filled and everyone has enough to eat. There's gay-kid's sister, who looks younger, and the way Ricky is talking to her, clearly trying to impress her, he's pretty sure they must be close in age. He keeps quiet. Drew is being his usual charming self and drawing Sebastian into conversation so he doesn't have to.

He helps his mom clear the table and make coffee. There's cake, but it's chocolate, which he doesn't like. He turns it down when she passes it around and she smiles at him and he shrugs. Drew will eat his piece he's sure. The adults all disappear into the lounge with their coffee to talk about whatever they talk about and he's pretty sure he'll be able to slip away to his room soon, or at least to the den where he can go back to reading.

Sure enough Drew suggests they move and he agrees, going to grab his kindle. Drew has started up the Xbox again inviting the visitors to play. He's really not in the mood to play nice, so slips outside onto the porch, flicking on the outside light. He's not sure how long he's been reading when he hears the door open again and he glances up, half expecting his mom to come out and tell him off for being antisocial. Except it's not her, it's Sebastian, waving what looks like a cigarette at him.

"Smoke?"

"No," he bites back, and it's either a joint or a roll-your-own from the little twirl of paper that burns brightly when he sets it alight.

"You should you know, it'd probably help move those extra pounds you're carrying around, rather than having to avoid cake…"

"Excuse me?" He can't believe how rude this guy is being, and he can't exactly shove him over the railing, no matter how much he wants to. And now that he's taken a few puffs, long and slow, he knows it's a joint and his nose twitches at the scent.

"Do your parents know you smoke that?"

Sebastian snorts, and he knows he sounds like a stick in the mud, but there are random drug tests as part of being on the football team, but he doubts there's any such thing for the glee club. In fact smoking pot is probably a requirement for all he knows.

"What do you think?"

Dave rolls his eyes and goes back inside the house; he's not sticking around to even let the smell settle on his skin.

FTY

He's spent all weekend at the hospital, only going home to shower and change and grab some food. He's done his homework on the small table at the end of his dad's hospital bed. If he'd thought they'd let him he would have asked to sleep there. Instead he goes home to a quiet empty house that he finds difficult to spend too much time in alone. It's for that reason he decides to go to Glee Club before heading back to the hospital. He can pick up his homework while he's there.

Tina comes in and hugs him, and it feels nice, then Quinn hugs him as well before taking a seat to leave Santana and Brittany standing in front of him. Brittany gives him a book report, saying something about it being written in crayon. It should make for amusing reading later at least. He's just about to sit down again, Mr Schue about to start talking when Finn storms into the room and heads for him.

"What the hell happened?" Finn demands and he doesn't get why Finn is so angry.

"My dad's in the hospital."

"I know. My mom just called me. I feel like I'm the last one to know."

"Well I'm sorry Finn, it didn't occur to me to call you because he's not your father."

"Yeah well, he's the closest I'm ever going to get. Okay? I know it might not look like what everybody else has but I thought we… were… sort of a family."

Kurt shakes his head and sits down. Finn can be so dramatic, is it any wonder he thought that he might be gay?

"I guess I just…I… don't like overhearing other people talking about you in gym class."

Kurt sighs and moves his bag so Finn can sit down beside him, but when Finn goes to comfort him physically he holds up a finger, not wanting to be touched in the awkward way Finn has. Mr Schue is starting to talk again and it makes for a nice change when Mercedes interrupts him this time, for once someone other than Finn, Rachel (or himself if he's honest). He listens to Mercedes as she says she wants to sing, and he finds it touching, because he's pretty sure he wouldn't know what to say to her either if their roles were reversed. Although she'd have her faith to help her. Something he doesn't have. He swallows, close to tears when she finishes.

"Thank you Mercedes. Your voice is stunning, but I don't believe in god."

"Wait, what?" Tina asks, and he holds back a sigh.

"You've all professed your beliefs. I'm just stating mine. I think god is kind of Santa Claus for adults."

FTY

Dave could hear Hudson yelling down the hallway, no need for a covert listening session today. Family? He doesn't really get it, but then remembers something about their parents dating. Oh. That could maybe explain why they've been a bit friendlier of late, if they're spending time with each other as a family. He feels a bit bad about ripping up Hudson's jacket now, and while he's not going to push Kurt around, especially not while his dad his sick, he'd kind of like to do something else for him, but he can't think of anything that's suitably anonymous.

FTY

Even though he's new Sebastian knows exactly who Coach Sylvester is. The fact that Kurt has somehow sided with her and that she seems to be the arch nemesis of the Glee Club is amusing. Everyone is freaking out, angry and pissed off, most of it aimed at Kurt, which he thinks is a little unfair, although he uses it as an opportunity to reach and stroke Kurt's knee in a comforting manner only to have Kurt glare at him and shuffle away. He smirks, because he's not giving up that easily. He shuffles closer and runs his hand up the inside of Kurt's thigh only to have it slapped away.

"Last week we were too sexy. This week we're too religious. We can't win."

Santana makes a cutting comment and he rolls his eyes. He can't believe that this bunch of loser outcasts are turning on each other so badly. They don't need an arch enemy like Coach Sylvester to drive them apart, leave them long enough and they'll implode under the weight of their own egos. Kurt has just stood up, saying something about how great his week is and stalked out. He watches his ass as he leaves.

FTY

He arrives at his dad's hospital room to find Rachel, Quinn, Mercedes, Finn and Carole all surrounding his dad's bed and he glances between them, suspicious.

"What's going on in here?"

"We, we were just praying for your dad…" Rachel starts.

"Rachel, Quinn and I are taking turns. We're from different denominations and religions, so we figure one of us is bound to be right…"

"I didn't ask you to do this."

"Honey, I know you're upset about what's happening, I get it, but friends help out even when you don't ask…" Carol says, and he knows she's hurting almost as bad as he is, is just as worried, but if his dad dies she won't be left alone. She'll still have Finn. He won't have anyone.

"Mr. Kurt Hummel?"

"Dude, why didn't you just tell us you wanted to pray in Muslim?"

"I'm not Muslin. I'm a sheikh."

"She's going to see if acupuncture will improve the circulation in my dad's brain. Amazingly, needles pierce the skin better the psalms. Can you all please leave now." He doesn't word it as a request and they all file out, looking sad. He refuses to let himself feel guilty.

"We just wanted to do something."

Yeah well, so does he. Throat working to keep the tears at bay, he blows out the candle.

FTY

He's starting to find glee club a bit of a drag this week with all the religious shit, and the fact that Kurt isn't in school to grope whenever the mood strikes him is making his days a bit too predictable for his liking. Mr Schue is congratulating Finn on becoming quarterback again and he notes that Finn looks guilty about it, although he finds it hard to tell with Finn's expressions sometimes.

Kurt's here today though, and he's asked to sing, and he's not heard Kurt sing before. His stomach starts to sink when Kurt talks about his mom's funeral. He feels like a complete ass. He hadn't known, hadn't realized that Kurt's mom had died and everyone's sudden outpouring of worry makes a lot more sense. If his dad doesn't make it Kurt will be alone and… well, it's obvious Kurt's dad means something to him. He feels like shit about the clearly unwanted attention he's been directing towards Kurt this week. He doesn't usually feel bad, but right now he's pretty sure the last thing Kurt wanted this week was his attention. He'll leave off for now, but he's not giving up.

When Kurt starts to sing Sebastian sits back in awe. His range is extensive, and the pitch and tone are perfect. He's a natural, one of life's natural performers, and he kind of wants to know what the hell is going on in the club when there are voices like this and all the solos seem to go to Finn and Rachel. While he considers himself more talented than everyone else in the room he might actually have to consider Kurt as an equal.

FTY

Dave kneels, pretending to do up his shoelace. He'd heard Hummel's voice and he'd frozen, wanting to hear more. He knew about his mom, and he's doubly glad that he and Az have laid off him, it sounds like he's having a rough week. When Hummel starts singing he bites his lip, because he can feel the level of emotion that is being put into the words as if it's his mom that's died and his dad that's sick. He listens to the entire song, tying and untying his shoelace over and over again, head bowed.

When Hummel's finished and the club go back to talking normally he stands and moves quickly away from the door. He wants to do something, something that'll maybe cheer Hummel up a bit, but nothing big or obvious. He has an idea, but it feels so ridiculous and girly, almost romantic, and he just doesn't like it… but he can't think of anything better. He rips a piece of paper from his notebook and writes a quick 'I hope your dad gets better soon' on it and folds it in half. It's just a note, that's all. Except as he's on his way to Hummel's car the small flower garden catches his eye and he scrubs his face. What the fuck, in for a penny, in for a pound… He picks on of the tiny flowers, he has no idea what it is, but he sandwiches it between the folded note.

He looks around to make sure no one is watching him as he slips the note under the windscreen wiper of Hummel's Navigator.

FTY

"Kurt, can I talk to you for a second?" Mercedes asks, and he stiffens before relaxing slightly. She's one of his closest friends, even if he has to tell her to go away she will at least respect and listen to him. "I know you're going through a really scary time right now, but I feel like I don't know how to be around you any more. And I know you're not really spiritual, or whatever, but I feel like you're closing yourself to a world of experiences that might surprise you."

"You're right. I'm sorry. I shouldn't be pushing my friends away. Especially friends as fabulous as you," he replies, and he means it. The sense of loneliness this past week has been exacerbated by the fact he's shut himself from everyone else.

"Do me a favor? One thing? Come to church with me this Sunday?" He goes to interject, he really doesn't want to do something like that… anything else. "Our church does this thing where we dedicate the service to someone and I got them to dedicated this Sunday to your dad…"

"I don't know…" he starts, trying to let her down gently.

"You get to wear a fabulous hat."

He smiles and he loves how much she's trying. How much she cares.

"Mercedes, you had me at fabulous hat…"

"Come on, lets go."

He links arms with her and they head for the parking lot.

FTY

When Mercedes leaves him sitting in the congregation to join the choir he's a little annoyed. He'd assumed that she'd be beside him, rather than singing in her choir apparently.

"Hi church…"

"Hi!"

"I have a favor to ask you guys. My friend Kurt Hummel's dad is in the hospital, and it's pretty bad. And I know we all have our own worries and troubles but if we could just put them aside and focus all of our prayers and give them to Burt Hummel and to my friend Kurt. I know you don't believe in God, and don't believe in the power of prayer and that's okay. To each his own. But you've got to believe in something. Something more than you can touch, taste or see. Because life is too hard to go through it alone. Without something to hold on to. And without something that's sacred. Anyway Kurt, this song is for you…"

When the choir starts to sing and Mercedes is singing the lead again he feels chills, her voice is just so powerful and beautiful. People around him start swaying in time to the music and then clapping it's not what he expects. The elderly woman beside him takes his hand and pulls him up to stand beside her, smiling encouragingly at him and he smiles back although he's pretty sure it's more of a grimace. The sheer positive energy in the group of people feels good, and it reminds him a bit like a glee club, but with a much more appreciative audience.

FTY

He's talking to his dad the next day, talking about going to church with Mercedes, talks about anything and everything, filling in the silence of the room. Seeing his father so pale and drawn, so close to death makes him recall his mom and the things he recalled while in church. He shares them with a watery laugh, talks about the raw chicken and their laughing before realizing that it was too early to laugh after his mom's death. He's crying openly now, and he holds his dad's hand firm in his own.

"I don't believe in God dad, but I believe in you. And I believe in us. You. Me. That's what's sacred to me. And I'm… I'm so sorry that I never got to tell you that…"

He feels the flicker, the barest of pressure and he stares at his hand, certain he's imagining it, but then it comes again.

"Dad?" Another small press.

"Nurse Nancy!" He almost screams the words.

"Dad I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere…"