Hey guys! I missed you! Okay, I'm sorry. Really. I'm trying. I just.. I promise I'll get better at updating! Enjoy.
Chapter four, oh, you're in for it.
"Why in the world would you ever even think of making the first place, no, any place, we go a cake-only restaurant? Do you know how hard that's going to be to find?" Kurt glared at Wes through the rearview mirror from the back seat. They had been in the mini-van for almost four hours already trying to find a place that served just cake.
"Duh, because cake is delicktable." Wes stated obviously as he randomly made yet another right.
Blaine choked on his water as he laughed, "Wes, how many times do we have to explain the difference between the words delectable and delicious to you?"
"Don't they mean the same thing?" David asked from the front passenger seat as he looked a map upside down.
"See, exactly, Blaine. So what difference does it make if I combine the two amazing words? As long as it means that cake is damn good. And.. that you lick the plate clean when you're finished. Hence, 'lick'."
"Can't you just type the stupid thing into the gps or something? I'm starving, becoming claustrophobic and why is it so freaking hot in this car?" Kurt picked up his hand off his hand to fan himself for dramatic effect.
Blaine placed his hand on Kurt's thigh and rubbed softly. "Yeah guys, can't we stop for some kind of food before we get there or something?" He gave Kurt that clearly said 'I apologize that my friends are a little on the maniacal side but I promise it'll get better?'
"No. NO! Are you kidding Blaine you know the rules! No stopping for anything except for our planned events! It screws up the whole schedule and my whole routine!" Wes sounded like he was about to pop a blood vessel.
Kurt deadpanned in Wes' direction, "And if we need to use the bathroom?"
"Obviously we ju-" David cut Wes off before he made Kurt jump out of the car on the spot. "We may be able to loosen the reigns a little with that rule, Wesley. It is a little extreme anyway. Just… we'll deal with that when we get to that point okay guys?"
Kurt crossed his arms and shifted into a more comfortable position and ended up laying against Blaine, with his head on his shoulder, their arms tangled and hands gripped tightly.
…
"FIVE HUNDRED TWENTY FIVE THOUSAND SIX HUNDRED KISSES! HOW DO YOU MEASURE, MEASURE A HUG?" Wes basically scream-sang as he head-banged and slammed his hands at a random beat on the steering wheel.
"How about… BEEEEEEF. How about… POOOOOORK. How about… CHICKEEEEEN. Measure in meat. Seasonings of meeeeat." David swayed in his seat and pointed to Wes, "In cutlets he burned or the way that she friiiiiiied!" "Go Collins, go Collins!" Wes fist pumped with one hand as he just barely steered with the other. "Now for the big finale, getcho Joanne on Wesifer! You know that meat is a gift from up above! Spre-e-ead love." Both of the boys cleared their throats and sang at a screechy pitch that Kurt didn't even think was possible to reach. "Measure, measure your life in loOOOOOVE! And THAT is a little song we like to call Meat Seasonings and Love."
Blaine was ramming his head into the head rest in front of him, which belonged to David. And rambling something that sounded along the line of, 'What ever happened to just having a Katy perry sing-a-long?'
Kurt on the other hand couldn't stop laughing. He was clutching his stomach, he could swear he was forming rock-hard abs. There were tears coming from the corners of his eyes and no sound coming from his mouth. A few snorts later, he was able to speak again, "Did you guys just think of that on the spot like that?"
Wes peered at him through the rearview mirror with an incredulous look. "There's no other way to do it Kurtie. Its pretty catchy huh?"
When Blaine finally stopped connecting his head with the leather in front of him he glared at Wes and said, "No you didn't, you idiot. You sing that stupid song every single year at the top of your lungs and always manage to annoy the crap out of me while you do it. Why can't you sing it the right way?" Then, he looked back towards the window and mumbled, "Imbeciles."
"Well someone's cranky. We're just trying to spice up the ride. Aha, Wes, I said spice. Get it? Aha. Anyway, we should find one soon.. I mean how far could it be at this point?" David just shrugged and continued to look at the same stupid map from another five and a half hours ago.
"Do you expect a cake restaurant to just appear on the map, David? Who has even heard of a cake exclusive restaurant anyway? Just put it down and look out the window. If you even can.. look at all those fingerprints. I bet they're going to take money out of our deposit for that. You know you have a record with having nasty permanent fingerprints." Blaine still possessed a stormy expression as he gazed out his window.
"Blaine, you're just mad that David ruined your ugly lime green sunglasses that time." Wes stated matter-of-factly as he glanced periodically out his window.
Blaine huffed just when David added, "I mean it might not have happened if you haven't threw them at me like that while you were singing.. Like, you couldn't have just put them in your pocket or something?"
"Oh my gosh! He's done that to you too? He threw the yellow ones at me! Luckily I caught them.. he's obsessed." Kurt whispered the last part as he raised his hand of the side of his mouth to shield it from Blaine as if it mattered.
"Yeah, well at least his fingers are clean. I didn't have to put that pair in the dishwasher and still have to get rid of them because your claw marks would not come off."
"Alright boys, break it up! Let's just be happy and enjoy the long ass ride. OH MY GOD. WHAT IS THAT?" Wes suddenly shouted and bounced in his seat as he pointed to a sign a few stoplights ahead.
"Cake! It's a picture of cake! And, it's called.. wait, I can't see yet.. Oh gosh 'Delicktable Delights- an exclusively cake restaurant'!" David turned around to see Kurt smiling broadly, just happy to get out of the car to make sure his legs weren't permanently cramped in the position they were in. Blaine was finally looking ahead, instead of the window and had a slightly excited look on his face as well. Everyone who knew Blaine was well aware of his obsession with junky food. But with Wes? It was even worse. Blaine nudged Kurt in his ribs and muttered quickly, "Oh, you're in for it."
…
"I'm Sadie and I'll be serving you today. What could I get for you?" A short brunette with glasses approached the table and talked in a monotone but a bit of a country accent. The were well into South Carolina by the time they got to this place.
"Hiya! I'm Wesley and this is my best friend David. That hobbit over there, his name is Blaine and there's his boyfriend Kurt." Wes gestured all around the table until he got to himself again. "Do you want a sticker? I have stickers! Oh my gosh, here! Take this one, it looks just like you!" He pulled a huge roll of stickers from his bag and began peeling them off for the waitress.
"I'm sorry, please excuse him. He has.. issues. Just a little overexcited, we've been in the car for about nine hours." David tried to explain the wild boy.
"Yeah, it's fine," the waitress glanced over to Kurt and Blaine's direction and gave the couple a dirty look. "Could I take your order?"
"Yes, yes please. I'll have the Hazelnut, Chocolate cherry, Butter Pecan, Carrot cake, Banana Split torte and… a slice of the toasted pecan fudge can with extra toasted. Thanks." Wes shoved the menu into the woman's face and kicked his feet up onto the table.
Sadie breathed out heavily through her nose and pushed her glasses up higher on her nose in annoyance. "What else?"
Kurt spoke up before anyone else had the chance to, he knew what they would all want already anyway, this girl was getting on his nerves. "Cheesecake, half chocolate. Thanks hon." He forced his fakest smile as he looked up to her to hand her the menus back. The girl just pulled the menus into her arms harsher than necessary and walked away.
"Well isn't she just a great big ball of sunshine." Kurt pulled his and Blaine's hands from where they were connected under the table so they were in plain sight of the rude waitress. Kurt caught eye contact with the girl and smiled once again, glanced down to his and his boyfriend's intertwined hands and back up to the girl. She flushed an angry red and stormed off into the kitchen. "Now that that's over with.. let's get this party started!"
…
Wes devoured all six of his huge pieces of cake and claimed to still have room to spare. After the whole three and a half hours that they were there the waitress had become more and more impatient with each minute.
"You know. She wasn't nice at all. I think I'm going to put a frowny face on the bill. Yes. I am." Wes grabbed the check from Blaine's hand and began to draw it.
"That really isn't necces- oh why do I even bother?" David face palmed as his friend worked on the bottom of the bill.
Then, Kurt got an even better idea. "Wes, do me a favor. Also, write how me and Blaine are gonna make out in the car. With lots of tongue." Kurt gave him a satisfied grin as Wes nodded excitedly.
"Can we really do that though? It sure does sound like a good idea." Blaine inched closer and closer to Kurt's face until they were nose to nose. Kurt breathed back, "Of course."
"Okay you two, let's get you two the car before the waitress claims that she's been scarred for life. Even though you two are sickeningly adorable.." David pushed the two, still liked together, out the door.
It could only get better from here, right?
Shalala, okay so, not much happened but cute right? Review if you want more! Or if you have any suggestions? Or if you just like me and want me to smile like a cheshire XD Oh! And don't you guys love fandom!Wes ? He's such a puppy! I promise there will be more klaction in the next chapter and I'll try to get it up as soon as I can! Thanks guys (:
Disclaimer: The only thing I own is Delicktable Delights. And that nasty little thing Sadie. I don't like her much. :/
ALSO! I'm going to see the one and only Chris Colfer on Wednesday! Whoo!