Disclaimer: I don't own any of this, except for the stuff that never showed up in the film, like the plot and my characters, etc. Oh, how nice it would be to own Jareth…

And, in regards to the song Wren sings in here… the lyrics are her own, that she's rewritten to a good song with smutty lyrics… oh, well, just read on. It's all pretty self-explanatory – but the song isn't hers, just the particular lyrics she sings.

Dumpster Queen – Well, they would be dirty, wouldn't they? Look at where all he goes! There could be B.O.E.S. (bog of eternal stench) on them! Hee…

Yami Moon – We should form a club… or a forum… for twenty-somethings who are seeing it for the first time… or something… and, yes, he is so very hot. Hottius Maximus.

APickleNamedFrizz – why, I'm glad you liked it!

And now, back to what happened in the Labyrinth…
I swear, he seemed really angry when I just walked away from him… I couldn't figure out what his problem was. Perhaps it was because I called him a dummy… I dunno. Well, he didn't fade away… nope. The spoiled brat disappeared in an angry explosion of glitter.

I stomped my way down the hill, in a pair of flip-flops no less, and made my way to the gate. Part of me felt a little frightened as I approached the huge wall, but I at least had some kind of idea as to what I was doing. What kind of Labyrinth junky would I be if I didn't?

I paused for just a moment. How in the heck did they make a movie from all this? Eh, there would be time to wonder on that later. I went back to my stomp.

I made it to the wall quicker than I expected I would, especially in my flip-flops. Everything seemed brown and dusty. There was a square pool over to my far right, but mostly rocks and slightly dry looking plants. I looked around, hoping to see the door – no such luck – or Hoggle… but I didn't expect to necessarily see him there. I mean, it wouldn't be exactly the same, would it? Perhaps he had a new job now…

I sighed, "Fine… he would make this more difficult… heck, what am I saying? That's what he does best! Sheesh…" I plodded over to a rock and sat down on it, staring intently at the wall.

I don't know how many times I blinked at the wall, or how much time I'd lost in doing so, but eventually I became aware that I was staring at a large gate. "Oh!" I said, standing up. "Okay… fine then." I approached the gate, but it didn't open on its own. My luck, right? Well, I suppose I should have been happy that it at least had handles that I could use. It easily could not have had them at all, and then where would I be?

Blowing out a breath, I took hold of a handle and pulled.

Nothing. It didn't budge.

I frowned. "Okay, lets try this another way…" I'm strong. I may not be a body-builder or anything, but I know how to put my weight into something and pull. I took hold of the handle, placed my feet up on the other side of the gate, and pulled as hard as I could. It slid open almost a foot's worth, and then it stuck solid.

The movement, which had been very quick, startled me and I plopped to the ground with a kind of squeak. I got back to my feet and tried again, but unfortunately, it wouldn't move at all… perhaps Hoggle had gotten a new job and Jareth hadn't gotten anyone else to take care of the gate. I mean, if felt like it had rusted badly, or something, even though I couldn't readily see hinges on it. Whatever.

At least it was open… right? Yeah… less than a foot to squeeze through. And I ain't small. This was going to be interesting.

I double checked that it wouldn't move at all before trying to squeeze through the gate. It wouldn't do to have it cut me in half, would it? Once I was reassured of it's stuck-ness, I attempted to get my leg through. Well, that worked good. Then I put my arm in, and worked in my hip and shoulder – luckily, I'm slim in the hips (man, that's the first time that feature, or lack thereof, has been useful). Hmm, I could do this. Probably…

I started to hum, as I usually do when… well, I do it a lot. But, as my progress through the gate slowed, I started muttering the lyrics to the song I was humming. I barely noticed.

"I met this real nice guy… and he's here by my side, there's nothing that I can hide… he knows me better than anybody else… I cannot help but feel, there is nothing I can conceal… my soul is his to steal…" and that's when it happened.

I got stuck, for good.

And, I was exactly half way through. Standing, at least, on my feet, one on each side of the gate. One arm on each side, one leg, the whole thing, I was stuck exactly half way through.

"Well, it seems that my Labyrinth is proving harder than you thought, is it not?" drawled a voice from the inside of the gate. I gasped and looked up, seeing Jareth leaning against the opposite wall, a very mean looking smirk on his face.

Rule number one with me, don't ever get on my bad side when I'm already angry… or stuck in something.

"Oh stuff it, jerk face!" I yelled, through gritted teeth. "You know, I haven't even started you're pitiful Labyrinth… urgh… you're such a JERK!"

He looked surprised by my outburst. Standing up straight and taking a few steps in my direction, he looked shocked at me. "A jerk? Whatever do you mean?"

I glared at him, "You give me thirteen hours to do this piece of crap game, I agree, and you won't even let me START! Are you doing this to punish me for not letting you finish your 'thirteen-hours' speech?"

At first, he seemed to be expecting me to say something else, but then he realized I had finished and then he grinned at me. "I amnot the one holding you back, my dear. What did you sayyour name again?"

My mouth fell open. He'd known Sarah's name, hadn't he? Why didn't he know mine? And, hadn't he known it before? I couldn't remember now… Was I … not as important?

"Wren," I said. "It's Wren."

"Hmm," he said, seeming to mull over the name in his head. "Well, Wren, I am not the one who hasspent most of my life eating sweets…"

Oh, no, he didn't just say that to me.

I looked right at him, my eye twitched, and I just… screamed. Well, I don't scream well, so it was more like a yell and scream combo. This really seemed to shock him, and he took a step back. When I finished, my voice choked and I noticed that I was starting to cry.

"I barely eat sweets anymore! I CAN'T believe you just said that to me! How…" I yelled in frustration again, "You PIG! I've actually lost weight! I'm flexible! I lift weights and run! You… you biased PIG! Oh, you opened the gates wide for all the skinny girls, didn't you? Oh, then comes along a girl who's big, who actually wants to be here, and is running this crap game for the right to stay, and you won't even open up your friggin gates to let her in! JERK, JERK, JERK!"

I've never been one for swearing, so… I kinda didn't know what else to call him.

Jareth's face had gone completely blank, and he'd backed up to the wall. He wasn't angry or confused or struck… but before I could blink, he'd produced a crystal from somewhere and dropped it. It shattered and vanished, as did he, and with a groan as though it really didn't want to do it, the gate opened up wider, and I plopped through. The gates closed behind me, and I was left alone in the Labyrinth, finally inside, and ready to run.

I got to my feet and took off in the direction I'd seen Sarah go in the film… not that I was counting on that to be accurate, but it was all I had and – so far, at least – it seemed to be working. I just ran…

It was a while before I ran out of breath, amazingly. Usually, I get winded pretty fast while running. But, as I ran, I gently ran my hand over the wall on my right, waiting to find the opening that couldn't be easily seen. Twice, I freaked over the lichen with eyes… my hands touched them, and… well, just eww. Way disgusting.

At last I found it. I didn't see a worm there – I mean, I kinda figured that was just a thing from the film, to make it seem like Sarah was just really trusting. But, anyhow, I took the other way – the way that Sarah didn't take. I paused for just a moment, considering my actions. Should I go this way? On one end of things, it may lead, just like the worm (that's not there) in the movie said, right to the castle, but on the other end of things, I don't know what to expect from it. I know what I'd find on the other way.

"Hmm… okay, why not have a bit of adventure?" I said, and went the unknown way.

It did seem to curve around, more in the direction I needed to go, but I began to wonder if I'd chosen the right way.

I paused. "Well, I've been doing pretty good here… not being cocky, just saying I haven't run into anything too horrible… that's either really good, or really bad. I'm going to be optimistic and assume that's a good thing…"

The silence weighed in on me. Feeling suddenly lonely, I glanced around, almost hoping to see the horrible Goblin King. No, he wasn't there. And… where was I? Now, that was the question. What if this path was way wrong? Um… I glanced around. I totally needed to see where I was in comparison to the rest of the Labyrinth. There, to my left, was a large rock. That' would work.

I climbed up on top of the rock, which came up to about my waist when I stood beside it, and scrabbled up with some empty brick holes to peek over the wall.

I couldn't see much, but I could see the top of the Castle… and I was shocked. It was a heck of a lot closer than I expected it to be.

"Awesome!" I said, aloud, "I'm way closer than I thought! I'm doing great! I… I guess if you know what you're doing, things aren't that hard after all – ahh!" The bricks I was leaning on gave way, completely.

I shrieked as the wall crumbled and I fell forward into the other side of the wall. I grabbed onto part of the wall that was still solid, managing to make sure my feet were going down, rather than my head, but the force of my self simply falling jerked me roughly and I lost my grip.

I landed on my feet, heaved a sigh of relief that I hadn't broken my neck, watched as a heavy piece of wall landed beside me, and shrieked as the ground completely gave way underneath me.

A trap door, an Oubliette. I landed with a thud, felt something go wrong with my leg, and passed out in the darkness as the trap door closed above me.

I woke up sometime later, I could only guess at how long I'd been out, and tried to blink. I actually think I had been awake for much longer, but had only just realized that I was in the dark.

My leg felt like it was on fire, and I honestly was too scared to touch it and see if it was broken or what. I just lay there, staring up at nothing. I was frightened, and had a very spastic moment where I had to sit up and feel for a wall of some kind, but my leg started burning and throbbing, so I laid back down and tried not to move.

And without warning, I began to cry.

I was all alone in an Oubliette, and no one would rescue me. There was no Hoggle for me, I was all alone. To keep my fears from running wild, I began to try and resume the song I'd been singing earlier.

I sniffed, "I met this real nice guy… and he's here by my side, there's nothing that I can hide… he knows me better than anybody else…" my voice seemed to only come out in choked sobs, but I still kept trying to sing as best as I could, from my place on the ground. "I cannot help but feel, there is nothing I can conceal… my soul is his to steal… we'll go wherever we want to… yeah…

"Baby, I'm taken, taken with you,

'cause we always have a good time

tremble and shakin', my heart's almost breakin', yeah…

feels like I'm fallin', all over again

Yeah you went and made me,

Tremble and shakin', without you I'm achin'…

I'm taken with you…"

I broke off, crying once more, unable to make myself sing. How could things have gone so badly, so soon? I mean, Sarah didn't run into any real trouble until she met the Fireys, right? Maybe that was my problem… I kept comparing this to the film. That film was probably too far from the truth…

There was a flicker to my left. I started at it.

"Whatever are you doing, making so much noise?" came a withered sounding voice.

"AH!" I shouted, looking around in the blackness and jumping quite a bit – which only made me cry out from my leg, "OW! Ah - who's there!"

"Someone who hasbeen here longer than you," came the voice, "Now, what is the meaning ofall this noise?"

I blinked, I still couldn't see. "Who are you?"

"Will yousimply answer my question?"

I sniffed, wiping the tears away from my eyes, trying to see better in the dark, "I was falling, then singing, and, well, now crying."

"Crying! Ha!" the voice laughed, "That hard, huh?"

"You mean, the Labyrinth?"

"Yes."

I shook my head, even if the voice couldn't see me, "Well, yes, but that's not why I'm upset. Not entirely"

"Then… why?" the voice whispered, true curiosity echoing off the Oubliette walls.

I sniffed, feeling more tears coming. "You wouldn't understand."

There was a snort, "Try me. We are, after all, in an Oubliette. Might as well tell me what isgoing on – what else have you got to do?"

More tears fell down my face. "Okay, fine… it's everything. Back home, I was just out shopping, and some man called me fat. No reason, just decided to do it."

"And that is why you arecrying, now?"

"Gosh, no – will you let me finish?" I growled. When it didn't say anything, I continued, "It just upsets me, I know I'm fat, but I'm trying to get healthy… and this guy just called me fat. When I got home, things got worse… and I couldn't take it anymore. I wished myself here, hoping to find a peaceful place away from being judged by how much I weigh and… Jareth, the Goblin King, shows up, wisks me off here… and then, HE calls me fat, too! I admit that it's fair for me to run the Labyrinth for the right to stay, but… I didn't think he'd be that mean. Have you seen his hair? Cool, yes, but what right does he have to judge me just because I'm a fat girl."

There was a pause, "Your weight is that much of an issue?"

"For me, no. I don't mind it… it's the world that doesn't like me. I'm tired of it, all of it. I want to be… me. Accepted."

"And so… you simply thought you could come here, and be accepted? By who – the Bog of Eternal Stench? Fireys? Or by the Goblin King?"

I went red, "I don't really know. I supposed I was hoping he'd accept me… I guess I was way off there."

There was a big silence, and after a while, I began to wonder whether I'd actually heard the voice, or imagined it. But then it spoke again, and I knew I wasn't crazy.

"Why do you want his acceptance? What loyalties do you have to him? Why does he even matter to you?Is he not your villain here?"

I raised an eyebrow, "To Jareth? Are you kidding me? No loyalties at all… he just fascinates me – and who said he's the villain? I mean, he runs the Labyrinth… and he may be a jerk, and you might say he's a protagonist, but he's not an evil villain. I never thought he was. To me, he was always Jareth, hottie extraordinaire… heh, not that you needed to know that," I coughed, "Anyway, long story short, I was just trying to check and see where I was in proximity to the castle, and then I'm in here, my leg broken-"

"It looked like you were going to cheat,"

"-and no hope of… wait, what did you say?" I sat up, my leg throbbing wildly, but I swallowed down the pain. "How could you see what I was doing, from down here? There's… heck, there's nothing to see down here!"

There was a clattering sound, something hit my leg (making my wince and lay back down), and something else sounded like it broke, and suddenly the Oubliette was filled with the same soft sparkly light my bedroom had had, when Jareth had shown up.

And speaking of the jerk himself…

"Nothing?" There he sat, leaning lazily against the opposite wall as me, his legs cocked and hands on his knees. "Nothing? Tra la la?"

I gulped. "Way not cool, GK."

He raised eyebrows at me, "GK?"

I sighed and laid flat again, "Goblin King, GK. I wasn't trying to cheat. I was worried. I'm paranoid, okay?"

He sighed, "You can sit up, you know."

I snorted, "Shows what you know, jerk, my leg broke from the fall in here, and it feels like it's on fire when I move."

He laughed a little – his voice no longer had the malice it did before, but it seemed like he was still trying to be haughty. "Shows what you know," he mocked, "I mended your leg just before the lights went on."

"Huh?" I sat up, my leg feeling fine. I pulled it up to me, examining it, moving it about. It seemed to work fine, and felt better than ever. With a smile, I scooted myself back to lean against the wall, facing him. "Thank you."

"Eh – excuse me?" he asked sharply, looking shocked.

I frowned at him, "I said thank you, as in 'thank you for fixing my leg'. You didn't have to, but it was really nice. I appreciate it. What, are you going deaf?"

He blinked at me. "You have an annoying habit of giving a compliment and following it with an insult. For your information, I was simply expecting the insult, not the compliment, first."

I raised an eyebrow at him, "Okay then." I stood up and looked around the room. "Thank you for the light, too – no insult for that one." I spotted what I was looking for, a board. It was about the right size for a door… well, for a normal person. I'd probably have to squeeze through it, but I would manage. I propped it up against the wall.

He stood too, behind me. "No, that was gratitude, not a compliment. I was speaking of the compliment you gave me, not your gratitude, though that was just as shocking. What was it you called me? Hottie extraordinaire?"

I went bright red. "No," I lied, blatantly, "You need your hearing checked…"

He laughed at me, "Is that the true reason why you wished to come here? Because you think I'm a sexy beast?"

I whirled around, "Heavens! If I can't get this door to open – and yes, I know it is a door – we're sure to both suffocate from that enormous ego of yours filling the room! I told you the true reason why I'm here, and whether or not you choose to believe it, I don't really care. But," I began looking at the board again, trying to find a way to make it open as a door, "For goodness sake, whatever you do, don't ever say that phrase again. It's… weird."

I finally reasoned that there was something I needed to open the door, but I couldn't remember what, for the life of me. Jareth was mercifully silent, though I was unable to say why. I could feel him watching me, but at least he wasn't nagging me. Perhaps he was being nice and letting me think, or perhaps I'd shocked him by not agreeing that he was a sexy beast.

But, nothing lasts forever. After a moment, he sighed. "You need one of these to open it," he said in a very lazy tone.

I looked at him, not seeing what he was talking about, "One of what?"

A small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, "These," he drew a crystal from nowhere and threw it forcefully at the wall behind me. I screamed and the crystal shattered noisily… but as I looked, no shards fell to the ground, but instead there was a small key.

"Oh," I said, still shaky from the crystal, "That's what I forgot. Thanks…" I grabbed the key and stopped, "Okay, what's with all the breaking of crystals? Why can't you just, you know, roll them around, gracefully?"

His smile disappeared, revealing a very depressed looking face, "Because I feel like it. Now, are you going to use my gift, or be a snoot and throw it away?"

I eyed him closely. Something was bothering him… why would I be a 'snoot' and throw away a gift? And, better yet, why would he think I would do such a thing? I wouldn't pretend to know everything about the Goblin King, not by any means, but… something just didn't seem right. If I didn't know any better… I'd say he was acting depressed.

But why?

I opened the door with the key, deciding to wait until there was more room for me to, I don't know, possibly run for my life before confronting him on his issues.

I was flooded by sunlight as I squeezed through the small door – which I was shaking as I did, knowing that he was watching me. When I was fully through, I saw the bright sun around me and it took a moment before I could adjust my eyes. I blinked in time to see Jareth duck elegantly and step gracefully though the door, no squeezing needed. I looked away.

… what? I rubbed my eyes, looking around me. We'd skipped a lot from what I'd been expecting, and were in the garden maze.

Jareth walked past me, slowly, seeming to be unconcerned by our surroundings. When I just stood there, he turned back and looked at me.

"Well?" he said, looking a little irritated, "Are you coming?"

A/N: Okay, this is just going and going… I need to break it up somewhere. This seemed as good a stopping place as any. Next chapter should be up sooner than this one was, and I'm hoping it will finish off with the medium sized plot-bunny named "How this all Started". Let's hope.

Hm, and BTW, the whole song lyrics should come up in the next chapter. So, don't worry about it. It will be taken care of, and no, this won't turn into a song-fic.

Now, come one people, do review. How can I possibly make this any better if no one reviews?