AN: I'm back. Thanks so much for all the reviews. I admit this isn't my best work but I didn't want to make you guys wait too much longer, so here's another edition of the Oz Blog!
"You didn't bring me donuts," an unhappy Fiyero pouted when Taryn reentered the room. Today she was dressed in her soccer shorts and softball t-shirt, just to annoy Glinda. She knew it had worked when she heard an angry huff from the closet. Yes, Taryn gave Glinda her own closet to stop her whining.
"You're right," Taryn said. "I didn't bring you donuts. Maybe next time."
"But you said that last time," Fiyero whined. "You gave Glinda a closet but you won't give me a donut? How is that fair?"
"It's not," Taryn shrugged. "Guess what guys! The days of colorful notecards are over. I have this lovely big hologram screen that shows the reviews so everyone can see them. It's it great?"
"Yeah wonderful," Elphaba rolled her eyes. "Can we get this over with? Some of us do have lives." Taryn narrowed her eyes.
"Just be glad I got so many reviews," she said. "I have a very special dare saved for you whenever there's a slow period. Trust me, you'll hate it."
"Hey, I thought I was your favorite character!" Elphaba exclaimed.
"You are. You remind me of me but I don't appreciate competition for my Sarcastic Crown," Taryn explained. "Our first reviewer was Elphaba-WWW but she didn't leave a question, so I'm just going to thank her for her wonderful comments. By the way Dorothy, watch your back." The young girl looked terrified and tears rose in her eyes.
"For Oz sakes!" Glinda shouted, coming back into the room. "Does she do anything but cry and talk to Dodo?"
"Um, Glinda," Elphaba said. "It's Toto."
"What?"
"The dog's name is Toto."
"No, I'm almost positive that it's Dodo."
"Glinda," Elphaba started but Fiyero put his hand over hers and shook his head.
"Elphie, come see my new closet!" Glinda exclaimed, seeing something shiny in her little room. "I think there are jewels in here."
"I'll come look at your closet, Miss Glinda," Boq said.
"Shut up, Tinny," Nessa grumbled.
"Hey that's my nickname for him!"
"Nobody cares!" everyone shouted at the farm brat. She whimpered and Taryn rolled her eyes.
"Moving on before a certain annoying child gets slapped," Taryn said. "The next review was from ExoticPeachBlossom (EPB for short). Read her stories by the way. I love them. She has a dare for Glinda. I dare Glinda to kiss Fiyero, a NICE LOOOOONG ONE! Lol. I did laugh out loud at this. Nothing like a little torture to start off a chapter. Get to it guys. How's a minute sound?"
"Awful," Elphaba growled.
"I'm not looking forward to it either," Glinda mumbled.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Fiyero demanded. "You used to like my kisses."
"Don't even bring that up," Elphaba snapped. "I don't like thinking about it."
"It feels wrong to kiss the boyfriend of the girl who's practically my sister," Glinda told him. "Like kissing my brother. Besides, I met someone."
"Who?" everyone asked, curious about Glinda love life for different reasons. Boq was hoping she was joking. Nessa was praying that she wasn't. Fiyero and Elphie were just happy for their friend. Morrible wanted to know who else she had to conspire against and Diggs was just bored. He must have forgotten that boredom equals piano. So tempting but…
"No time for gossip now," Taryn cut in when Glinda opened her mouth to speak. "If the readers want to know, they'll ask."
"Hint, hint," Nessa said with a rare touch of sarcasm. Elphaba looked so proud of her. "Could you guys just get it over with already? We're growing old here." Fiyero and Glinda regarded each other warily but the slowly leaned it. When their lips met, Taryn started the timer. One awkward, uneasy, and embarrassing minute later, they quickly drew apart. Glinda not-so-discreetly wiped her mouth and Fiyero wasn't much better. Taryn pushed a button on her awesome remote and some mouth wash appeared suddenly. Both of our scarred-for-life characters quickly made use of it.
"Thank you, EPB," Taryn said happily. "Thanks again for the hugs and let me know how you feel about my Fiyero-hunters."
"Wait, what?" Fiyero asked, wide-eyed.
"It's an inside joke," Taryn told him. "Our next reviewer is MyVisionIsDying. I've got a question! *raises hand like an eager school kid* And it goes to...Elphaba & Fiyero (both of them 'cause why not!): Either one of you can answer or, or both! Now seeing as you two are married, just out of curiosity, who proposed? Oh and by the way I so want to hug you both 'cause you guys are the best! (yes, favoritism! )." Taryn chuckled quietly at the review. Reviews like this made being a fanfiction nerd worth it. (AN: And I say nerd in the most loving way possible)
"Well, it wasn't much of a proposal," Elphaba said dryly. "We ran all night to the Vinkus border and then when I was so exhausted I couldn't formulate a coherent answer, he popped the question."
"You would have said yes anyway," Fiyero teased.
"Whatever helps you sleep at night," Elphaba snorted but nudged his shoulder lovingly.
"Aw, Fiyeraba fluff," Taryn sighed. "So nice. Thanks MyVisionIsDying. Why do you guys have really long names? I hereby dub you Vision. Anyway, isn't favoritism awesome!? My teachers use it all the time and that's why I got a B- in history."
"You got a B-?" Elphaba snorted. "I've never even gotten lower than an A+ even though I was green."
"I just don't care enough to have a 4.0," Taryn shrugged " and my teachers don't like my sarcastic, cynical personality. Maddy-Fae is next on the Oz Blog! I love the Frex-hunters. I don't know if you're reading EPB's Bro'mance but if not you should be. Look up my review and then you'll get the Fiyero-hunters thing. Maddy asks Morrible: could you please die in a very painful and creepy way right now? Thank you. Unfortunately, I can't allow that because we need her—for now, anyway— but picture a shark tank, a cliff, and a slightly too-long bungee cord."
"Of course you can't kill me," Morrible sniffed. "I'm much too important for that." Taryn glared at her.
"Don't make me rethink my decision," she threatened. "One word from me and you could be back in SouthStairs." Morrible blanched and Taryn grinned smugly. "Maddy's next question is for Boq: what would you give to be human again? Maddy, if not human, what? I'm thinking a single-cell organism. Any other ideas? Anyone can answer that by the way."
"Anything," Boq said. "I'd kiss Nessa. I'd give up Glinda…for a little while at least. Heck, I'd jump naked into a pool of snapping turtles, if I could only be made out of flesh and bone again."
"Hey, keep it PG," Taryn warned. "Thank you Maddy-Fae for your wonderful review. Our next reviewer is Eriphabottackson. Also no question but I like recognizing reviewers. I'll make sure to look up your stuff. And Frex has the next turn in the shark tank. Your friend sounds interesting and shockingly similar to me. I've been known to get people into trouble by saying something funny during, tests and such."
"How come that doesn't surprise me?" Elphaba rolled her eyes.
"If you're not careful, your face will get stuck that way," Taryn told her. "Thanks again Eriphabottackson! Yay! Zelda rules is back! And she likes her nickname. Good because I was going to call you that anyway. Onto her questions. Elphaba: What does flying feel like on a broom?"
"It's exciting," she answered. "It's like being free even when you know you aren't. Since I'm not afraid of heights, it's one of the only places I feel safe."
"ZR asks Glinda almost the same thing," Taryn said. "Glinda: What does flying feel like in a bubble?"
"At first, it was terrifying," she said. "I could see everything beneath me and around me perfectly and I almost couldn't tell I was actually inside of something. It only popped once and I was, luckily, close to the ground. I couldn't ride in it for a week."
"I've always wanted to travel by bubble," Taryn sighed. "Broomsticks just sound uncomfortable and less than ideal of a person who's afraid of heights."
"That's an understatement," Elphaba said.
"And now I know why people call me annoying," Taryn replied. "Good thing neither of us care. One last question from ZR. Fiyero: How did it feel to be a scarecrow?"
"Well, I didn't have any bones or organs, so light," Fiyero said. "When Dorothy first found me, I really couldn't remember anything but as time went on, I started to remember. There was always this feeling that the rumors about the 'Wicked Witch' were untrue. I couldn't put my finger on it until I saw the monkeys. Then I recalled Elphaba and her cause. That's when I sent the note."
"Thanks ZR!" Taryn said happily. "Okay, one more to go guys. Welcome back BlueD! I'm so glad that I almost made you waste good cereal. Dorothy, you know have three people who want to push you off a cliff."
"I'm positive there's more than that," Elphaba said. "I mean there's a whole fandom of Dorothy haters."
"I'm sure at least some of them don't mind her," Taryn said. "Anyway, thanks again BlueD. I really like your dare but we'll get to that later. Question time! Morrible: Were you a troubled/heartless child?"
"I most certainly was not!" Morrible cried indignantly. "I was adored by everyone."
"Yeah right," Glinda scoffed. "I bet you were the kid who set their dolls on fire."
"I didn't play with dolls. My family gave me a knife set for my fourth birthday." Horrified silence met her confession.
"And there's your answer," Taryn said. "Troubled might be an understatement. BlueD's next question is for Elphaba: I'm sure you've heard of the Frex Hunters, (credit to Maddy-Fae, who is pretty amazing at writing if you ask me) because it's kinda famous, and I was a part of it, I had Frex's head for dinner :3 Anyways...my question is...how did you like it? That's really gross, but I appreciate you getting rid of that moron."
"Oh I enjoyed it immensely," Elphaba said, grinning evilly. "I always felt like Frex died much too soon. I was going to let him die in disgrace later in life. I like the Frex-hunters so much more."
"Go Frex-hunters!" Taryn shouted. "Here's a question for Fiyero: I heard you like donuts. What is your favorite :)?"
"The edible kind," Fiyero answered immediately, earning him an eye roll from his wife.
"I'm proud of you, Yero," she said sarcastically. "You used a three syllable word correctly in a sentence."
"I'm not completely brainless," Fiyero pouted.
"No, not completely," Elphaba laughed.
"You guys are adorable," Taryn sighed. "I wish I had what you two have."
"Yeah, me too," Boq and Nessa mumbled at the same time.
"Should have thought of that before leaving," Nessa told him.
"You were crazy and holding me hostage!"
"You could have just told me that you loved Glinda in the beginning!"
"When I tried to tell you, you ripped out my heart and had Elphaba turn me into a walking tin can."
"Will you two just kiss and get this over with?" Elphaba sighed angrily. Boq and Nessa's eyes widened.
"No," Taryn said. "No. I'm not a Bessa shipper."
"Then you approve of Gloq?" Boq asked hopefully.
Taryn shook her head. "Nope, but only because I don't think people should be rewarded for stalking. And the fact that you're an idiot."
"If you don't do Gloq and you don't do Bessa," Elphaba said, "does Boq end up alone?"
"Boq can do what he wants," Taryn replied, "but if I write any other stories I might pair Boq with ShenShen just to punish him."
"Please no," Boq groaned.
"BlueD has one more thing," Taryn said. "She wants Fiyero to take his shirt off."
"No," Elphaba said flatly. "I'm the only one who gets to see him with his shirt off."
"Can we at least see his abs?" Taryn asked. "Please."
"Fine," Elphaba grumbled and Fiyero happily pulled up his shirt to show off his perfect six-pack. *BANG* *BANG* *BANG*
"What was that?" Oscar asked.
"That is the swarm of fan girls," Taryn said. "Did you know they can sense a shirtless Fiyero from a mile away? Then they text all their fan girl friends to join them. Thank you BlueD for your review. I'm going to get out of here before the fan girls break in here. Oh Fiyero, here you go." A box of donuts fell into his lap while a first aid kit fell into Elphaba's.
"Yay!" Fiyero squealed like a little girl.
"What's this for?" Elphaba asked.
"Um…no reason," Taryn said and disappeared through a trap door just as the fan girls burst into the room.
"What're you doing?"
"No! Get back!"
"Help! They're everywhere!"
"No! You can't have a piece of my hair!"
"Omigosh! He has the diamonds!"
"Take a picture quick!" The ruckus continued above her as Taryn chuckled. A message appeared on the hologram upstairs as she typed.
That's what the first-aid kit was for. Thank you, fan girls. You may go. Please, take a souvenir Fiyero doll on your way out.
More screams were heard and a stampede of girls headed out of the white room. The characters groaned. Well, except Dorothy. She was ignored.
"How come she didn't get attacked?" Nessa asked.
"Because no one likes her," Elphaba groaned. "When Taryn comes back…" Another message appeared on the big screen.
Thank you for tuning into Oz Blog! Oh and Elphaba. If you do anything, I'll send in more fan girls. Have fun!
Then she was gone. With more grumbling, the characters began to fix each other up, promising to kill Taryn the next time they saw her.
Please review! I enjoy hearing from you so much. Even if you're writing to tell me that you hate it. Just let me know.