IV. Answer

I will be the answer
At the end of the line
I will be there for you
While you take the time
In the burning of uncertainty
I will be your solid ground
I will hold the balance
If you can't look down
-Sarah McLachlan

Rowan woke wondering if last night was a dream. She felt the vestiges of the panic attack that left her feeling heavy and shaky, even in the morning. And yes, she had flipped out in front of Aaron Abbot. Had she really latched on to him and asked him not to leave her alone? She squeezed her eyes shut. Yeah, she had. Then Reid had come. He'd looked like an angel then, even in the night with his blond hair and blue eyes searching for her lost self, calling her back, and waiting for her when she returned.

Ernie nudged her with his moist nose. It was past ten. Time for breakfast. Rowan got up and stretched. She fed the animals before taking a lukewarm shower. She wrapped a towel around herself and wiped the condensation from the mirror. At least her reflection was clear today. But she needed a haircut; she was beginning to look like an actual witch with her long ebony tresses. Rowan decided she'd go by the barber shop today for a quick trim. First, she needed to apologize to Aaron while she had the nerve. She didn't want the awkwardness to ferment until Monday when she saw him at school. It probably wasn't a pleasant thing for someone to go spastic right in front of you and then cling to them like a lifeline. That was a lot to put on a person.

She combed out her hair and braided it, put on a pair of jeans, long sleeved blue shirt. She put striped blue and green arm warmers with thumbholes over the sleeves. Slipped on her black jacket that read Animal Police on the back in white letters.

"Where're you going?" Caleb asked. He was already dressed in jeans and gray t-shirt.

She was lacing up her boots. "I'm going into town to get a haircut."

"Need a ride?"

"Hmm…I was going to go to Spensers first to talk to Aaron."

Her big brother instantly became wary. "Why?"

She stood up and straightened her jeans. "I want to apologize for spacing out on him."

"You don't need to apologize for anything, Row," he told her.

She did a one-shoulder shrug. "Just in case. I think he was pretty freaked out."

"He didn't say anything…" Caleb searched for the word.

"Mean?" she supplied. Rowan half-smiled. "No, he was actually…kind of nice about it."

He arched an eyebrow speculatively.

Rowan's smile expanded. "People do crazy things, huh?"

He snorted. "I guess."

"What are you doing today?"

"Actually…I was going to take Ernie to the park. Judy's afraid of dogs and I thought he would be a good candidate for helping her get over her fear."

"Was she bit by one when she was a kid?" Rowan asked.

"Yeah."

She nodded. They were in the foyer now. "Hear that, Ernie? You have to be on best behavior. Charm the hell out of her, ok?" Ernie barked. "You should put his therapy-dog vest on. Makes him look professional," Rowan suggested.

Bubbe meowed, and Bruce Lee dooked. They were seeing everyone getting ready to leave but them.

"All right, you can come with me," Rowan said. She picked up the ferret and got his ferret carrier bag. She put on his harness and attached it to the clip inside the bag so he'd be secure while they were on her scooter. "Bubbe, you're with Ernie."

The siblings left, both heading to Spensers because Caleb needed to pick up Judy. They went their separate ways when they got there. With the ferret carrier slung on one shoulder and Bruce Lee's cute face hanging out, she went to Aaron's dorm room. She knocked.

Aaron Abbot looked surprised to see her. "Hi…"

Well, Rowan thought this would be fairly simple, but it wasn't. She cleared her throat. "I just wanted to apologize for flipping out on you last night and…you know."

He nodded slowly. "It's cool," he said. He ran his fingers through his hair, looked down at his feet.

"I guess I'll go…" Rowan said.

"You want to go for a walk?" Aaron said at the same time. When she didn't answer right away he said, "We didn't really get to do our assignment last night." He smiled.

That much was true, she supposed. And she didn't want to get a poor grade on such an easy homework assignment. She said okay, and they walked out of the dorms. Students glanced at them funny. Everyone knew that Rowan was Caleb's sister and Caleb's group hated Aaron Abbot, so this was about as odd as seeing a dove flying around with a vulture. When they got outside Rowan took Bruce Lee out of the carrier.

"You can walk rats on a leash?" Aaron asked.

"Bruce Lee's not a rat," Rowan corrected. "He's a ferret. Rats and ferrets aren't even in the same animal family."

"Same difference," he shrugged.

Rowan started to go on a spiel about the many differences between the two but decided against it. Oh well. They walked in silence for a while, treading the vast grounds of the academy. Some students were outside too, taking advantage of the nice weather and blue sky.

"So…does that happen a lot?" Aaron inquired. To his credit he was tentative about it.

Why she confided in him she didn't know. "Not as often as it used to."

"Is it always that bad?"

She puffed out a chuckle. "No, not all the time."

He kept going. "What sets it off?"

She exhaled lightly. "Sounds, smells." Rowan shrugged.

"Why didn't you want to be left alone?" His voice was quieter now, more curious.

Rowan could pretend not to remember that part. "I was fully conscious for the three hours between the crash and the time it took to get me out of the car."

Aaron stopped abruptly and gawked at her. "You were awake the entire time?"

She nodded.

"Jesus," he muttered under his breath. "No wonder you walk around like a zombie sometimes."

"A zombie?" she echoed.

He smirked. "Well…kind of. You're spaced out. Sad."

She was surprised he even noticed. "Yeah."

"So…are you okay now? From last night?"

Rowan shrugged. "I'll be fine." Pause. "Thanks. And thanks for staying with me last night. I know you didn't have to."

Aaron's face rouged, and he looked embarrassed from having expressed any inkling of concern or an overt gesture of compassion. And that expression changed as hastily and as abruptly as a TV channel. They were back around the dorms and Reid was standing by the stairs, arms crossed, a none-too-pleased moue on his face.

"Great," Aaron mumbled.

"Maybe we can be civil today," Rowan suggested.

He grimaced at her. "Tell that to him."

She sighed. "If you don't say anything, I bet he won't."

"I thought you didn't bet," Aaron smirked.

"Hi, Reid," she said when he was in earshot. Bruce Lee tugged on his leash and Rowan let it go. Reid scooped him up.

"See you later, Rowan," Aaron said.

"Bye," she said.

So Aaron didn't say anything to Reid, and Reid's cerulean blue eyes burned a hole in Aaron's back until he was out of eyesight.

"What'd he want?" Reid asked.

"We were getting to know one another," she said.

They went and sat on a nearby bench.

"Caleb said you wanted to apologize to him." Reid obviously disapproved.

Rowan sighed. "So?"

"You-"

"-don't need to apologize for anything," Rowan finished for him. "I know. But I thought I should because I weirded him out."

Reid stared at her for a minute, then groaned peevishly. "You're not 'seeing the good' in Aaron, are you?"

"What?"

"That thing you do," he said. "Trying to find something redeemable about a person who's full of shit. You do that, Row."

"That's bad?"

"No. But…it's Aaron. God, you're not becoming friends with him are you?" He made it sound as if she were courting the devil.

"Actually," – she cleared her throat – "he asked me out."

"What?" His fair complexion went mottled red.

"I said yes." Reid was so angry she couldn't hold her giggles in anymore. "I'm just joking, Reid. Jeez. You should see the look on your face."

"Ohh…that was cruel, Row. I'm sixteen and you almost gave me a heart attack."

"Aw, I'm sorry," she said, but she was still smiling.

"You have to make it up to me," Reid told her with a sweet grin.

"Right…I'll take you out for coffee."

"That's good, too," Reid said, "but I was thinking more along the lines of…a peck on the cheek."

"Real smooth," she said dryly.

He pouted. It would have looked pathetic on anyone else, but Reid pulled it off with such expertise. "I haven't gotten one in a while. I'm going through withdrawal here, Row."

Rowan laughed and rolled her eyes. She leaned in to give him a peck on the cheek but he turned his head to the side at the last second and her light kiss landed on his lips instead.

"You did that on purpose," she accused, taking Bruce Lee away from him.

"Maybe," Reid replied slyly. "How about that coffee?"

----

Reid brought their coffees over to the window table and sat across from Rowan. He'd gone with her to the barber's shop. Her hair looked fuller now that three inches had been cut off. It hung in silky waves just past her shoulder bones, and was tucked behind her cute ears. Bruce Lee was stashed in his carrier next to Rowan nibbling on some ferret treats.

"David got fired," Reid told her.

"Yeah?"

He nodded. "And I just got hired." Reid grinned.

She eyed him dubiously, but saw in a second he was serious. "I can definitely see you working here, Reid." Her eyes gleamed with approval.

"Hell, yeah. Free coffee." He was putting Rowan's preferred condiments in her cup along with the straw; he slid it over to her.

It had been a spur of the moment thing, this job. Beans was his number one place to get coffee, espresso or whatever, and he and the rest of the guys knew the employees here. He was thinking of this as part of his continued journey into a more mature, responsible individual. Just because his family was mega-wealthy didn't mean he couldn't earn some pocket money of his own. He already felt oddly proud of himself.

"So, what did you and Aaron talk about?" he asked as casually as he could.

Rowan sipped the hot liquid through the straw and shrugged. "He asked me about last night."

He concentrated stirring the sugar into his drink.

"How I was doing, how often it happened."

"That's none of his business," Reid said.

"I guessed he had some leeway considering what I put him through." She chuckled dryly.

He was quiet for a moment. "You can talk to me about it, you know." Reid knew she had stopped going to grief counseling completely after Abel left. She was still suffering from PTSD and her doctor advised her to stay on her medication for the time being. Other than that, Rowan never spoke about the accident. What she had been thinking those three agonizing hours of consciousness while trapped in a wrecked vehicle.

"I know," she said, her brown eyes seeing him warmly.

From the window you could see Billy's garage just down the street. Rowan's eyes flicked in that direction and Reid saw that warmth in her eyes shutter downwards like the slats cutting off light from a room.

"You still miss him a lot," Reid stated, but with no rancor or accusation.

"Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if he came back," she told him wistfully. "Mostly, I just hope he's okay."

He dipped his head in understanding even though he felt discouraged. But he had vowed to be patient and he was going to be.

"You think you'll ever fall in love, Reid?" she asked, her head slightly tipped to the side, chin rested on the palm of her hand.

Reid laughed. He drank his coffee to avoid answering that for a minute. What a perfect opening for him. Yeah, I do think I will fall in love. In fact, Rowan, I already have. With you. How well would that turn out?

"Sure, and my luck she wouldn't feel the same way," he said flippantly, his trademark smirk on his face.

"Sounds like her loss then."

"You're so sure," he replied wryly.

Rowan sighed. "What am I going to do with you Reid Garwin?"

"Love me," he said playfully.

"I already do!"

"Then we're on the same page," he told her with a wink. Almost anyway.

----

It was Sunday night and his parents were in town for a few days and wanted him to come home for a family dinner. How Reid loved these get-togethers. Despite his inner grumbling, he loved his parents. They'd been attentive enough when he was a kid, but when he got his Power at thirteen they deemed him old enough to fend for himself for longer intervals of time and began traveling more frequently. He had missed them in the beginning, but learned to enjoy the freedom it provided him. Unlike his three friends, he didn't have his parents hovering over him, constantly reminding him about the need for discretion when Using.

Now, the Garwins sat at the lustrous dining table, eating off their expensive China with silver utensils. Meredith and Joseph had already pumped Reid for all that was going on at school; his grades, his swimming etc.

Reid cleared his throat. "So…" he spoke. His parents peeked at him. "I uh…got a job."

The still silence was rather deafening. He went back and forth between his parents, thinking they didn't approve. "It's just part-time," he rushed to say. "At Beans, won't interfere with school or anything."

They were still wordless, but then his mother smiled, and his dad grinned approvingly.

"That's great, son," Joseph said in his deep voice.

"It is, sweetheart," Meredith echoed.

"I'm proud of you. You're showing real initiative," his dad went on.

They extolled him more on this alone than Reid had expected. If he'd known that all it would take was a part-time job to accrue such accolades from his folks, he would have gotten one sooner. He left home feeling pretty good about himself, driving back to school in the fully restored Mustang he had gotten last year as a gift for good grades. He pulled up in the student parking lot, making sure his car was securely armed before stashing his keys in his pockets and heading to the dorms.

Tyler had texted him and said he was going out with Dizzy so he'd probably have the room to himself. So, naturally, to his surprise when he opened his door, Amanda Harris was stretched out on her side on his bed reading a magazine. All last year he had been hitting on her, but because he was a sophomore he was "too young." He supposed now that he was a junior he was fair game. Too bad he wasn't entirely interested anymore.

"How'd you get in here?" he asked. Reid didn't close the door.

She smiled. Her boobs strained against her tight button-down top and her long legs stemmed out of her short skirt invitingly. Amanda laughed. "I have my ways."

He nodded slowly. Things had been going so well. Hanging out with Rowan again, just him and her, getting a job, his parents approving, and now…this. Temptation. He'd been celibate for almost a year now, and though he hadn't been with as many girls as most people probably thought he had, it didn't mean that he didn't get urges.

"Are you going to close the door?" Amanda asked, eyes moving suggestively over him.

Reid vacillated…how easy it would be.

She rolled her eyes, swung herself out of bed. Like a succubus she glided to him, whispering past him, shut the door and locked it. "So," she said, tiptoeing towards him while unbuttoning her top.

Reid swallowed, eyes fixated on the breasts she was gradually revealing with every popped button. Creamy flesh was cupped by her lacy bra that left little to the imagination. She pressed up against him now, wrapped her arms around his neck. She smelled like some expensive perfume and it kind of burned his nostrils and he fought the urge to sneeze. What was it with girls who felt the need to douse themselves in liquid that was five-hundred bucks an ounce? It only served to remind him of the natural aroma Rowan always carried with her. Sometimes honeysuckle, sometimes vanilla, sometimes an amalgamation of various herbs that were soothing and familiar.

"You didn't forget how to do this, did you?" Amanda kissed the pulse by his jaw, her tongue flicking out.

He cleared his throat. "I'm not really in the mood, Amanda," he said casually, half-grinning at her.

"I think you are," she said, the location of her hand indicating the falseness of his words.

Reid's lips pressed together and he moved back. "Seriously."

She peered at him suspiciously. She was about to open her mouth to speak when someone knocked. Amanda appeared annoyed, but Reid was grateful for the reprieve. Without even thinking about Amanda's state of dress, or lack thereof, he opened the door.

Pinkie stood there, glanced passed him, saw one of the biggest skanks at Spensers half-undressed, and Reid's belt buckle undone. Pinkie sounded a none-too-subtle ahem and discreetly pointed.

"Shit," Reid hissed and turned around to get himself proper.

"Could you excuse us, dear?" Pinkie asked Amanda. "Reid and I have homework to complete. Which I am sure takes precedence over…this." He gestured to the scene like it was a tawdry soap opera.

Amanda wasn't amused. She buttoned herself up, slipped on her shoes. "Reid…last chance," she cooed.

"Buh-bye," Pinkie interrupted, shooing her off like a bothersome squirrel.

Amanda sneered at him and left, Pinkie shut the door.

"Well, that was interesting," he said. "I think I'll sit on this bed," he stressed, taking a seat on Tyler's bed. "Just to be safe."

"Nothing happened," Reid insisted crossly.

"Sure."

"I'm not lying!" he declared. For some reason it was important that he be believed.

"All right, sweetie, okay!" Pinkie held up his hands in surrender. "Don't have a cow."

Reid snatched his black beanie off his head and tossed it on his bed.

"I can come back later," Pinkie said.

"No, it's cool," Reid said, still agitated with himself.

Pinkie saw the pretty blond was distressed. He wondered what would have transpired had he not come knocking when he had. Pinkie picked a piece of invisible lint off of his pink sweater vest. Oh, he just couldn't take Garwin's broodiness.

"Well, for what it's worth, you were holding your own pretty well."

Reid glared at him with a sour puss. "That's a back-handed compliment if I ever heard one."

He smiled primly. "I try." Reid didn't seem inclined to converse with Pinkie although it was obvious the blond genuinely didn't want him to leave; probably because he was afraid Amanda might come back and his previous will would be shattered. "Would you like to know why you are not my type?" Pinkie asked airily.

Reid through his hands up in forfeit. "What the hell?"

Pinkie crossed one leg over the other and laced his hands on one knee. "I don't believe I would ever be able to trust you."

"Am I going to get a lecture?" Reid sighed.

"Oh, it wouldn't be all your fault," Pinkie reminded him. "But…your reputation…well, I know you're not as big a slut as you make yourself out to be."

"You're full of compliments today, aren't you Pinks?"

"But, see, I would be worried that no matter how much, hypothetically of course, you liked me, or loved, perhaps, that I still would not be enough. Like I would have to compete with all these other girls around you, which you are so obviously tempted by." He tipped his head to the side. "What would happen if, one time, someone didn't come and knock?"

Pinkie had deep thoughts, not that Reid ever doubted he did, but Pinkie wouldn't have been the first person Reid would have guessed he'd be having an in-depth discussion with.

"And it would probably devastate…" - Pinkie eyed him pointedly – "…whoever the person might be…someone who is already going through enough heartache…" Pinkie let Reid fill in the missing pieces. "If you were to succumb to temptation."

"Are you done?" Reid asked.

"Yes!" Pinkie smiled brightly. He let out a swift breath. "I love being the wizened friend."

Reid snorted.

"Did I impart some wisdom that you'll be taking with you?" Pinkie asked hopefully.

He rolled his eyes. "I'll keep it in mind." It was actually pretty sobering, what he'd just been told. And told in such a fractured way that Reid had been able to easily slip his worst case scenarios between the gaps. But he wasn't about to tell Pinkie that, he'd never hear the end of it.

Reviews are always encouraged.

How's Reid's gradual maturation coming? I don't want him to all of a sudden be Mr. Grown Up, I want him to maintain that devil-may-care thing, and for him not to lose his playful, mischievous side.