Chapter 4: Empty Like a Walnut

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Ian's POV

I managed to take a shower before I stopped functioning. I just can't go on. I feel empty and hallow. As I walked out of the band room to my find my older sister's car when I saw Elizabeth making out with this ginger. Stupid ginger. He's going to get another freckle because he just stole my soul. Thankful I finished my homework before band, I tried blasting music to stop thinking. Beatles didn't help so I tried falling asleep. What seemed like hours of staring at the ceiling and my alarm clock, I finally stumbled into a troubled slumber.

Tuesday blew by. Wednesday, Thursday and Friday as vanished in the blink of one eye. I finally 'woke up' Saturday on the band bus to the first competition of the season. Sitting next to James in one of those uncomfortable blue bus seat, I realized that I was being screwed with. My life just didn't make sense anymore. Yah sure, I was first trumpet in concert band and jazz band and a shoe in for this year's All-State, but none of that mattered. I was a void with no music to fill it with.

"Ian, hello Ian? Anybody in there? Or are you still a zombie." I heard Nikki say somewhere distant.

"Huh?"

"I said, do you want to play truth or dare? We're all in and we've been waiting for you."

"Um yah sure why not. Who's first?"

"Ok i'll ask Jenny. Truth or dare?"

"Truth, I'm not doing a dare from you."

"Ouch harsh. Ok..." As she was thinking. Getting a little nervous I knew marching band truth or dare got down to a whole other level. Expecally Nikki's Dares. I'm scared for life. "Let's begin with the basics. First complete make out."

"Ugh, that is so not a question, plus, you already know the answer. Derek, trumpet, behind the gym shed in 6th grade. How freakin' original. My turn. Elizabeth, truth or dare?"

This was going to get interesting. "Truth." She whispered.

"Who is the hottest guy in band here at BCHS?"

Yes. Definently getting interesting. Her eyes got real big and a sweat started to break out on her forehead. I was excited to hear this answer. "Um I have to answer?"

"Duh! You did pick truth and I suggest answering it because band geek punishment is pure torture."

"Um, Derek, trumpet guy. He seems hot and probably hotter with out a shirt on." she said quickly.

Shit. Not the answer I was looking for. Jenny started smiling and continued the game. When I got called on I choose truth but that was maybe twice in the entire game. Quite honestly this just might have to be the most boring bus ride ever. Plugging into my ipod, I tuned the world out and tried to waste whatever was left of the most disappointing three hour band bus ride.

Walking off the field I felt like crap. Not suprising thinking back on my past week. But, seriously that had to be the worst performance in performance history ever. We did complete the show and I everyone else made up for my attention lapse, but I screwed up, big time.

I'm T1 so the hardest transitions were given to me. Which I love, I need a challenge. In the fourth movement all of the bass drums past right behind me so I couldn't be off what so ever. Ha. Instead, one of the stupid freshmen was a beat off so he ended up ramming his drum into my side and in reflex, my trumpet whacked him in the head. I think he is still giving me the evil eye. Stupid freshman, sophomores rule over you.

"Dude what the hell happened? I kept watching you and... You just... Just left!" Jackson, drum major, yelling at me out.

"I don't know. Just an off day I suppose." I mumbled.

"You don't know! You don't know! You've got to be kidding me! Ian, your the best marcher here. Plus you have hopes of DCI. If you want to get in, get your act together. This is a bad way to start the season." he ranted

"Yes sir." He was the senior drum major so I kind of had to listen to him.

"Hey Ian." Nikki said softly. That made me do a double take. The only Nikki I knew was the overly hyper one.

"Um hi Nikki?" I said quickly putting my polo on. Some of us were still changing; plus we're required to wear the stupid maroon polo that makes us look like boxes. Box Shirts!

"Are you ok? You've seemed out of it this week. Is there something up? You want to talk about?" she asked up front.

Do I say something or just swallow my jealously? "I don't know what your talking about. I've been perfectly fine this whole week." Flat out lie.

"Ok then, well I think you might want to hear this." she smiled, "Remember that day when Elizabeth came then tripped on that drum stick? Well when I went into the bathroom to help her and she was talking to herself, kind of weird, and she said your name. A couple of times too. I think she might have a crush on you." She smirked.

"Wait how? That same night she was making out with this ginger. That can not be true. You must be lying to distract me. Ha. You can't pull a fast one on me. I'm too good." I said quickly. Execpt the last part, dragged that out a little bit.

"Ian. Can you lean down a little please?" She kissed me. Nikki the crazy one, just kissed me. I've never thought of her in that way. Plus she's pretty good.

"Ok. I told you the truth but my truth, I like you. Can we hang, together?"

Breathe. Ok what did she ask again? Oh yah. "Um yes. I would love to. Let me buy you lunch."

With that we held hands the rest of the day. Enjoying the other marching shows and commenting on how this school did or other. The best band in my opinion had upside down bass drums. If only ours could do that! Stupid freshman. We even got to see our rivals, Richmond Rams perform. It was scary because they seemed way better than us, with all their colorguard members. Plus the brass was loud. I mean DCI persing loud.

The crew: James, Jenny, Elizabeth, even Carson this newbie sophomore alto, hung out with me and Nikki. Personally, I think there was no change in our friend dynamics. In fact I think people were probably thinking "'bout time" but I didn't care because the one person I wanted to show some type of emotion never did. We were one of the first people to perform at the competition so we waited and watched 9 full hours of marching before the results were given.

"For the double A conference. In third place with a score of 76.75 is Richmond! In a difference of a tenth of a point, 76.76 is Baymont! First place with a score of 77.5 is Beardsley! For triple A..." I stopped listening because the stands around me erupted in cheers. We beat our rivals, Richmond. Even if it was by a tenth of a point, we beat them! Watching Jackson do his salute I felt immense pride for marching band. Somehow my slip up was unaccounted for. Or was maybe it wasn't a slip up. Either way, kissed Nikki in celebration. Perfect way to end a wacked out week.