This Is A Pen 2.0: Chapter 4

Parody of a Percy Jackson quote

The snake-lady-woman-thing made a hissing noise that might've been laughter. "Be honored, Percy Jackson. Lord Zeus rarely allows me to test a hero with one of my brood. For I am the Mother of Mothers, the terrible Echidna!"

And this just made Percy explode. I mean, he had plenty of opportunities to do so. Last chapter he could've ranted about the pink poodle. Or before he could've ranted about the delay, or sightseeing, or Hades' helm. But no. He held it all in. And unfortunately for Echidna, it was all about to be let out.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Percy exclaimed. "Are you FERAKING telling me that some DEMONIC MONSTROUS SOCIOPATH with some kind of FREAKING DEMON CHIHUAHUA is going to KILL ME? Lady, you're named after a freaking anteater! And you know what? I AIN'T NO ANT! Hell, I'm a freaking DEMIGOD! And you are NOT named after a DEMIGOD-EATER, so I suggest that you be bowing down and kissing m FEET, bitch!"

The Chihuahua growled.

"Oh, what you got boy? YOU GOT NOTHING! Hey, little demon doggie, go back to BEVERLY HILLS! You'll fit RIGHT IN with Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan! Hell if you SALIVATE enough, Miley Cyrus might smoke your SALIVA in a BONG!"

Echidna was about to say something when a strange puppet thing appeared. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Where the hell am I? This isn't Hogwarts!"

Percy stared strangely at it. "What the HELL are you supposed to be?"

The puppet turned to him. "Well, AQUALAD, my name is HARRY POTTER, and I'm the KING OF THE SCHOOL! I'm COOLER than everybody in the school! I'm HIP and I'm AWESOME! All the GIRLS know my name! H-H-HARRY POTTER. THAT IS MY NAME! Do the shoobeedoowops, guys, okay?"

Echidna goes, "Shoobeedoowop, shoobeedoowop!"

"WHAT THE HELL IS HARRY FREAKING POTTER DOING HERE?" Percy shouted out.

"I'm about to kick your SUSHI ASS, that's why I'm here!"

"Hey, go back to FREAKING PIGFARTS, or wherever it is you DAMN came from! I'm in the middle of trying to fight a DAMN BRITTANY SPEARS look-alike and a CRAPPY TITULAR CHIHUAHUA FROM A DISNEY MOVIE WITH A BAD GEORGE LOPEZ VOICEOVER! I mean, if the damn Chihuahua had said, 'I GOT THIS!', the movie would've been good! But NOOOOO! So if you excuse me, I have some BEVERLY HILLS CRAPHUAHUA ASS to kick! That is, if I could ever open my pen!"

The Harry puppet looked confused. "Have you tried smashing it against the ground?"

"Great idea, Harry!" Percy smashes his pen on the ground and it accidentally uncaps, fatally stabbing the Harry puppet. "NO!" Percy screamed, cradling it in his hands.

"Percy… tell Neville that he has a long bottom… tell Hermione that fanfiction writes really good us stories… tell Dumbledore that he's cool for being gay and all… tell Snape to get over his button… ask Draco if he still likes fire… tell Voldemort that I was never really his moustache buddy… tell Hagrid to beat people with sticks on my behalf… and last but not least… tell Ron, my best friend… that he better LOSE SOME POUNDS IF HE WANTS TO COME TO MY FUNERAL!"

Percy wiped the tears from his eyes. "Okay, Harry. Okay." And as the puppet Harry faded away, faint little 'shoobeedoowops' could be heard all across the globe.

"Now, ANTEATER WOMAN," Percy began, showing off his newly opened sword, "LEMME KILL YOU, BITCH! SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!"

Echidna sighed. "Push him off the cliff, Chimera!"

"ZOMG!" Percy screamed as the Chimera hit him and he plummeted to the water below. "AH! SO MUCH FOR MY LIFE AS A TEENAGE ROBOT!"

"AH HA, BITCHES! WATER CAN'T HURT ME! I'M THE FREAKING SON OF POSEIDON! HA! IMA BE RIGHT BACK, BITCHES, AND YOU CAN START FREAKING KISSING MY FEET AGAIN!"

Percy slams into the water.

Someone has made the water as hard as cement, and as soon as Percy comes into contact with it, Percy dies with blood and gross stuff being spewed everywhere.

Who could have done this?… Luke, the gay traitor? Kronos, the worst daddy ever?

Nope!

While this is happening on Earth, on Olympus…

"Poseidon! Now your boy is dead!" bellowed Zeus.

Poseidon continued to play with his rubber ducky. "Well, he was really getting on my nerves!"

Ares tries to high fives Poseidon. "I hear that, brother!"

"Don't touch me. I might catch your steroids."

One more before the new stuff. Which should it be? Btw there's a huge hurricane supposedly tearing things asunder so let's hope it doesn't kill me.

Whoa, Whoa, Whoa - T.D.