As promised, here is the next chapter. Soz but they seem to be getting longer...I just love talks about love...and of course a bit of good-natured Itachi-teasing.
Thursday 6th February
"Hey Dei. What's with the limp?" Naruto remarked cheekily as the other blonde bartender stalked into Club Akatsuki with a slightly unusual gait. Sakura swatted him over the head with a growl of 'Get back to work! We're busy!"
"Fuck you, Naruto," Deidara snapped huffily as he joined them; checking the clock to make sure he wasn't late. It was just on nine so he'd managed to make it, "Oi, Sakura; why're we so busy?"
"Did you meet up with Tobi again?" Suigetsu sniggered from further down the bar, where he was serving shots to a group of rowdy, excited men.
"There was a basketball game on earlier," Sakura explained as Deidara snapped, "No! I fucking stubbed my toe getting out of bed, okay?"
"Was it Tobi's bed?" Naruto teased slyly; causing Deidara to glower at him aggressively, "Hey, chill; I'm just kidding! We all know what your 'recently had sex' limp actually looks like."
"I do not have a 'recently had sex' limp, yeah!" Deidara exclaimed hotly.
" –You do," Sakura reminded him in a strained voice; mopping up the spilled alcohol on the bar, "Boys, stop picking on Deidara and do your jobs. Itachi's going to yell at us if he sees you slacking off."
"Itachi's not paying attention to us," Naruto commented smugly; gesturing over to where their boss was fixing drinks but not really seeming like he was concentrating very hard. The others all craned their necks to see what he was actually paying attention to, and sniggered when they noted that his piercing gaze was fixed subtly on Kisame Hoshigaki.
The bouncer was standing over by the door, conversing with someone casually and keeping an eye on the rowdy basketball fans in the bar.
" –Isn't that your Hidan?" Suigetsu inquired curiously, with a nod of his head.
"…Yeah…" Deidara muttered mutinously, "He is NOT 'my Hidan'!" he added aggressively as he registered what Suigetsu had actually said and the others scoffed at him. Naruto beamed at the pair of girls that he was making tequila sunrises for and winked as he pushed them across the bar. They giggled nervously and scampered off –leaving him to sigh at his apparent lack of game.
"But seriously, man; what happened with Tobi?" he inquired curiously, "I mean, other than the obvious?" Deidara just ran a hand through his hair angrily.
"Nothing, yeah," he snapped, "He fucked me and then left and hasn't called me. Fucking men, yeah."
"Preach, sister," Sakura chuckled sympathetically, though apparently he didn't appreciate being referred to as a female. "So no date for Valentine's from him, huh?"
"Nope," he snorted flatly, looking over and seeing that every so often, Itachi's eyes would drift back to Kisame; drinking in his powerful, muscled form. "Just look at him…Why the fuck doesn't he just go over there and fuck him already?"
"…Um, Deidara? Not sure if you've realised, but that's what you tend to do," Naruto chuckled in amusement; Deidara's eyes glaring at him. "And look how that turns out…"
" –Are you calling me a slut?" he inquired darkly; folding his arms with a scowl.
"No, he's not," Sakura assured him with a giggle, "…He's just saying that you…uhh…"
"…Aren't too selective when it comes to dick," Suigetsu added with a small shrug, and Sakura and Naruto giggled at the highly offended look that Deidara was currently wearing. "What, Dei? Oh come on…" In response to that, Deidara just stuck his nose in the air and stalked off to the club side of the bar; ignoring the laughs that erupted from behind him.
"I'm sorry, Deidara!" Naruto exclaimed apologetically, receiving only a middle finger in response. Sasuke emerged from the kitchen as Deidara stormed past with a violent flick of his ponytail.
"…Which one of you called him a slut?" he inquired flatly as he headed over to where Sakura was completely swamped with handing out beers.
"Can you get me four Heinekens?" she asked urgently, " –Suigetsu and Naruto were teasing him again. He doesn't see why Itachi doesn't make a move on Kisame."
"Right," Sasuke rolled his eyes; quickly helping her out and sliding the beers down the bar, "We don't even know if Kisame's gay."
"Hell; I'd turn gay for your brother," Suigetsu commented with a low chuckle; only to find Sasuke's dark eyes glaring at him flatly, "I know, I know, he's totally out of my league. I'm just saying, though…"
"If that's the problem, then we can totally find out if he's gay!" Sakura exclaimed with a grin, "We're having the Strippers and Hoes party, after all!" The three males looked at her; clearly worried.
"What are you making us wear?" Naruto demanded to know.
"…That's a surprise," Sakura giggled, "But don't worry, we'll figure out if Kisame is gay. And then Itachi can stop –"
"Itachi can stop what, exactly?" Itachi's voice inquired smoothly from nearby; making all four of them jump slightly.
"Nothing, Itachi," she replied innocently, "We're just…really busy…"
"I can see that," Itachi commented with a sigh, "Can you please keep an eye over in the left corner? Some of the guys are getting a bit pushy." They all nodded earnestly and then headed back to the rush.
After a ridiculously busy hour and a half, things began to settle back into normality and the bartenders were able to actually breathe a little.
"I am exhausted," Naruto declared; heaving a sigh of relief as he took a step back from the bar and stretched his shoulders. "Sasuke, do you have a spare shirt I can borrow? I got like two beers spilt on me…"
"Yeah; there's a spare on my shelf," Sasuke muttered as he pushed a shot across the bar and received a healthy tip from the woman who had ordered it. Naruto waved gratefully as he headed off to change his shirt; pulling at the sticky fabric in annoyance.
Kisame wandered up to the bar and took a seat; a large portion of the bar's patrons having headed over to the club side for a rowdy dance.
"Would you guys tell Itachi I finally got those assholes outside?" he sighed heavily; wiping a bead of sweat from his brow, "God that took longer than expected. They got pretty aggressive." Itachi appeared from around the other side of the bar; drenched and looking thoroughly unimpressed about it.
"…Um…Itachi?" Sakura commented with a raised eyebrow, "I think…"
"Deidara sprayed a guy with iced water," Itachi offered as an explanation; brushing his soaked bangs back from his face and apparently annoyed by the way his clothes were clinging to his skin, "…I was apparently 'in the way'."
"I'm not fucking sorry!" Deidara could be heard snapping back from the club.
" –Wow," Kisame chuckled with a raised eyebrow, "…That Deidara's hard work, I take it?"
"You have no idea," Itachi sighed in a strained voice.
" –Well, one of my friends seems kind of into him," the bouncer added, gesturing for a beer. "I think you guys know Hidan?"
" –You're friends with that guy?" Sakura exclaimed in surprise.
"Ahh, well, by 'friends' I mean that I've just had to kick him out of so many clubs that we've got to know each other," he shrugged with a small grin. "Cool guy."
"I'm sure…Oh, did you get those guys out? Thanks for that," Itachi remarked simply. Kisame just raised his eyebrows in acknowledgement, and with a short nod, accepted the beer that Sakura handed him and headed back over to the door.
"…Thanks for that," Suigetsu mocked in a breathy tone, and Itachi glared at him.
"What are you insinuating?" Itachi growled crossly; folding his arms, "Enough, guys! What's with the passive-aggressiveness?"
"Are you serious?" Suigetsu deadpanned as Naruto re-emerged, still pulling on Sasuke's shirt. He looked distastefully at the small Uchiha-clan crest on the singlet.
"What'd I miss?" Naruto inquired curiously.
" –Itachi wants to know why we keep mocking him," Suigetsu replied smugly.
"Oh wow," Naruto's blue eyes widened in fake innocence, "I wonder what it could be? I wonder if it could be that our cold-as-ice boss keeps making "fuck me" eyes at the sexy new bouncer?"
"I don't know what you're talking about," Itachi snapped flatly, "I do no such thing."
"He didn't deny that Kisame's sexy," Sakura pointed out and the other bartenders all nodded thoughtfully in agreement.
" –He's not," Itachi sniffed hurriedly.
"Liar, liar," Naruto and Suigetsu sniggered, "You like him, you like him!"
"I do not like him," the elder Uchiha growled crossly.
" –Itachi and Kisame, sitting in a tree…F-U-C-K…" Naruto giggled childishly; dancing out of the way as Itachi violently flicked him in the ass with his tea towel. "OW!"
"Serves you right!" Itachi snapped flatly; flicking him again.
" –Itachi! Stop whipping me! I'm not into your weird fetishes!" the blonde yowled gleefully; flicking his eyes over to Kisame to see if he'd heard from across the room. Itachi looked over with wide eyes to see that Kisame was covering his hand to hide the fact that he was laughing. Immediately, Itachi tossed his tea towel over his shoulder and started fixing himself a drink.
"You'll pay for that," he growled mutinously at Naruto as he high fived Suigetsu and Sasuke smirked at his big brother, "…Not that it matters, because I do not like him."
" –Like, want to fuck; same thing," Suigetsu sniffed with a smirk.
"I do not want to have sex with him!" Itachi snorted hotly, "So enough with the stupid remarks! I don't know what you're talking about –"
"Well, you should probably tell him to put his shirt back on then…" Sasuke remarked casually.
"…He's taking his shirt –" Itachi looked over his shoulder and then immediately glared at his brother when he realised that Kisame was still completely clothed. "You're a little brat."
"And you're sexually frustrated," he retorted sharply.
"Speak for yourself," Itachi muttered with a glare and Sakura gave him a warning look. "…Naruto, we're running low on coke and I'm thirsty."
"Thirsty for Kisame's…" Naruto managed to say before Sakura swatted him around the back of the head for being so crude.
"Can you stop taking everything I say out of context?" Itachi sighed weakly.
"Bet you'd want Kisame to take you out of context," Naruto sniggered.
"That didn't even make sense," he snorted darkly.
" –Bet you wouldn't make much sense with Kisame's cock in your mo –" Sasuke couldn't help but add, and Naruto high fived him for that call as Itachi growled, "I know you're my brother, but I'll still fire your ass!"
"Please, Itachi –you're just making it too easy for them," Sakura begged; helpless with laughter at the mutinous look Itachi was currently wearing. Their boss, deciding against stooping to their level, tossed his head and stalked away with a haughty adjustment of his collar.
"Oh, you guys are too cruel!" she laughed as Itachi headed through to the staff room to find a change of clothes since Deidara had been violent with making his drinks.
"Well, it's not like he was defending himself," Sasuke pointed out with a smirk and they all chuckled.
"Oh, looks like your last comment made him mad," Suigetsu commented with a small wince but thoroughly amused nonetheless.
"I'm sure Itachi will be fine," Naruto assured him.
"Like you were fine back in college when Sasuke made you mad?" Sakura remarked innocently.
" –Oh come on, Sakura; no need to –"
"I want to hear this story," Suigetsu remarked gleefully.
" –They don't even remember what it was about," Sakura informed him with a grin, "They literally stopped talking to each other for two months and had no idea why. Then one day, Naruto gets angry about it and punches Sasuke and they fight it out until they were friends again!"
"Two months?" Suigetsu exclaimed; his mouth falling open in horror, "You stopped talking to him for two months?"
"…I was really mad," Naruto grumbled under his breath and folding his arms as he glared over at Sasuke. "…I just don't know what it was about. But Itachi can't do that –he's your brother."
"I'm sure Kisame would be more than happy to diffuse that pent up rage…" Suigetsu commented.
"I heard that; and you're not funny!" Itachi hollered angrily from the kitchen. "Back to work!"
"He totally needs to get laid," Suigetsu muttered, rolling his eyes, "…And speaking of getting laid…Deidara –incoming!"
"What's the –" Deidara inquired; sticking his head around the corner and suddenly glaring mutinously as he recognised the man drifting towards the bar; Kisame keeping a wary eye on him. "Are you fucking kidding me? Itachi…It's that guy again!"
"I'm getting changed, dammit!" Itachi hollered back, "Someone drenched me, remember, Deidara?"
"I'll swap," Suigetsu commented innocently, ducking around to the club side of the bar and shoving Deidara over to join a very amused Sakura, Naruto and Sasuke. Sakura waltzed up to the counter with her brightest smile as the man they had come to know as Hidan leaned heavily on it with a sleazy grin plastered across his face.
"What can I get you?" Sakura inquired flirtatiously.
"…A piece of that fucking blonde over there'd be nice," he remarked casually, with a wink over in Deidara's direction.
"Oh this is going to be so good," Naruto chuckled, rubbing his hands together, "Where's popcorn when you need it, eh, Sasuke?"
"…Way ahead of you," Sasuke smirked; holding out the bag of popcorn that Suigetsu had tucked under the sink for snacking purposes earlier in the night.
"Deidara; you've been requested," Sakura remarked with a smirk as she looked over to where Deidara was busy doing some tricks with a pair of vodka bottles to entertain a small group of women.
"I'm so busy right now, yeah," he replied dryly.
" –I can wait," the platinum-haired man assured him with a lick of his lips, "…So…Deidara, was it?"
"Thanks Sakura," Deidara snapped back irritably; apparently having avoided informing Hidan of his name.
"No problem," she replied sweetly, "Seriously; Sasuke? Naruto? You two don't have to look so excited about –hey, where's my popcorn?" Sasuke just held out the bag for her as she traipsed off to serve a few men further down the bar. "Naruto; help, would you? There's a girl down the end that looks like she needs a drink."
"Twenty bucks says breakup," Sasuke muttered under his breath.
"…That twenty bucks says identity crisis," Naruto shot back.
"…You're on," the raven chuckled, and pushed him off down the bar towards the lone woman. Despite all having been separated by work, all three of them were just waiting to see what Deidara was going to do to this Hidan guy.
"Hey there," Naruto greeted, pushing a vodka and orange across the bar to the lonely young woman. She looked up at him with sad eyes and reached for her wallet, "No charge. You looked like you could use a drink." She gratefully accepted it as he started making himself one. "You want to talk about it?"
"Talk about what?" she defended.
"Well…whatever's got you drinking by yourself on a Thursday night," he answered kindly; leaning on his hand in interest. Bets with Sasuke aside, he loved people. He loved learning about them, and knew that sometimes, they just needed someone to talk to –even if that was just a stranger.
"It's…You won't be interested," she sighed heavily; rubbing her eyes.
"Of course I am," he assured her, "I'm always interested. I'm sure you're very interesting." She let out a dry sob before taking a deep swig of her drink. This was why he loved being a bartender. People were so open with them, if only you gave them a bit of your time. He loved talking to people.
"Well…" she sighed, "I um…I fell in love." He cocked his head in interest; eyes brightening at the mention of his favourite thing.
"So why so sad?" he inquired, "If you're in love, then why…"
" –With a girl," she whispered softly; looking around sheepishly as though this was something she was ashamed of. She covered her face in embarrassment.
"I don't get what's the problem," Naruto queried; prying her hands away from her face gently.
"I'm a girl too," she pointed out.
"So?" he shrugged, jabbing his finger down the bar, "That blonde guy down there sleeps with guys, and we want our male boss to get with the bouncer over there. What's so wrong with falling in love with a girl? Tell me about it."
"I um…" she stammered, "We were just internet friends; like, we told each other everything and we got on super well, and it was great –and I had no idea she was…a girl…and then we decided to meet up in real life…and as we got to talking…I just…knew."
"I'm so envious," Naruto murmured with a smile, "That's so beautiful; really it is. Why are you sad about falling in love? I mean, sure, you're both girls, but love's love…right?"
"But I…I was always interested in men," she muttered, "I just don't know…I don't know what to think anymore…After meeting her…and I mean…she…"
"Don't think, then," Naruto decided, "…I know it sounds cheesy, but go with your heart. You can't help who you love. I like to think that we all have a soul mate, you know? Someone who completes us; and people think that because you're a girl, who should look for a guy…But souls, they don't have genders, you know? They're just purely us; you get what I'm saying? The soul that your soul's meant to be with could be in anyone." He blushed a little; scratching the back of his neck in embarrassment as she looked at him with an expression that showed that she was genuinely touched.
"That was beautiful," she commented with a small smile.
"Well, it got you to smile," he admitted with a grin as she pushed her empty glass across the bar to him and got off the bar stool. "Off so soon?"
"I have someone I think I should talk to…" she admitted quietly, "But cheers. Whoever gets you sure is going to be lucky."
"Thanks," he chuckled; waving her off as Sasuke tapped him on the shoulder and leaned in to his ear to suddenly mutter, "…I think we might have a problem…"Naruto looked up at him quizzically; inclining his head and brushing Sasuke's bangs away from his nose in irritation. The raven jerked his head in the direction of Deidara and Naruto understood and the pair of them tentatively moved closer.
"What do you want, yeah?" Deidara finally growled as he was faced with Hidan, who had been sitting at the bar smirking at him, "I told you to get lost, yeah? Fuck off."
"I'm not fucking doing anything," Hidan drawled with a shrug, "Is it a crime to want to be served by the cute blonde?"
"It can border on sexual harassment, yeah," Deidara snapped, folding his arms as Itachi appeared beside Hidan on the other side of the bar –having been out clearing up glasses since he'd changed.
"Are you causing problems again?" Itachi inquired flatly; arms folded across his chest. Hidan turned to look at him; running his eyes down the Uchiha's smart, well-fitting dress pants and black dress shirt.
"Not at all," Hidan smirked at the same time Deidara declared, "Yeah. Remove him, Itachi!" He spun to glare at Hidan again, "I'm a dude! So quit hitting on me!"
" –Oh come on, Deidara," Hidan snorted good-naturedly, "Heard you went for a ride with Tobi?" He winked at him, "…And I fucking know you're a dude. Anyone with a gaydar can smell the uke on you a mile away!" He cackled heartily; licking his lips again predatorily and making the blonde blush furiously.
"And let me tell you," he added with a sultry leer, "…I'm fucking into that…" As if to prove his point about his sexuality, he suddenly reached over and, in plain sight, grabbed a handful of Itachi's ass and gave it a good grope.
"…Whoa…that's a fucking firm ass," he commented crudely as Itachi lurched forwards; red rising to his cheeks. He spun around angrily to see Hidan sniggering and pulling away his hands to show he was harmless. Itachi was embarrassed to find that he firmly tucked his own hands behind his back to prevent any more potential groping as Kisame seemed to think this was the signal to come over and escort Hidan from the building.
" –Next time, okay, blondie?" Hidan cocked an eyebrow and crudely mimed giving a blowjob. Deidara immediately lifted up the nearest beer bottle and would've hurled it after him had Naruto not leapt forwards and caught his arm.
"Asshole!" Deidara shouted after him aggressively; just receiving a wink in response as the other man ran his tongue around his lips crassly. Itachi tugged on his shirt and coughed to put on a show that he was completely unruffled by the event.
"…If you think no one saw that, Itachi…" Sasuke commented with a smirk as he stalked past, "…You're dead wrong."
"Kisame saw too," Naruto chuckled mischievously.
"Bet Itachi was imagining it was Kisame's hand…" Deidara added under his breath; jumping on the mocking Itachi bandwagon.
"I can call him back, if you'd like?" Itachi snapped flatly and the blonde clamped his mouth shut but continued smirking about it.
"How long until he folds?" Suigetsu remarked conversationally.
"I give it a week," Sakura bet.
"Less," Sasuke and Naruto challenged and Deidara glowered at him.
"I am not a slut," he defended hotly.
"Of course not," Suigetsu chortled, "…You just love cock. Not a crime. I have one. I'm all goods with it. You like other guys' ones. So what?"
"Speaking of liking other guys' cocks," Naruto commented conversationally and everyone stared at him in surprise.
"Well that was the weirdest start to a coming out speech ever," Suigetsu admitted with a laugh and Naruto rolled his eyes.
"Not me," he snorted, "Sasuke, you owe me twenty –girl was having a crisis; but it's all good, I made her feel better." He beamed with pride as Sasuke pulled out his wallet. "She was worried because she fell in love with another girl, when she's liked guys her whole life."
"Did you give her the 'souls don't have genders' speech?" Sakura deadpanned and he scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "…Practice what you preach, stupid…"
" –It just made me so happy," Naruto sighed, the twinkling of his eyes apparently blocking out Sakura's last comment. "I can't wait to meet my soul mate."
"Oh come on Naruto," they all sighed heavily, beginning to disperse along the bar, "You don't even know what they're like," Sakura added more sarcastically than she had initially intended.
"I know some things," he sniffed, "Like…I know they're going to be cool, and fun, and funny, and really interesting!"
"Oh here we go," Suigetsu muttered; holding his head.
"We'll like the same things –or at least we'll know what each other likes," Naruto rambled, "And we'll fight all the time because they'll be really opinionated; but we'll always make up because we love each other –and we'll laugh, and we'll cry…and we might even have a movie kiss in the rain…and everyone will look at us and just be able to tell that we're in love…and she'll make me breakfast, and I can cook her dinner –ow! Sasuke!" Naruto rubbed the back of his head where Sasuke had cuffed him.
"Dream on, moron," Sasuke remarked flatly, "You suck at cooking."
"…Well, I'd get better if you actually taught me instead of making it for me…" he grumbled crossly as the pair of them headed off around to the club side of the bar since Itachi seemed to not be in the mood for more partying drunks. "Pick me up at eleven tomorrow, okay?"
"Fine."
Suigetsu, Deidara and Sakura watched the pair of them leave and let out weary sighs. As they exchanged glances, they could acknowledge that they were all thinking the same thing.
Sure, Naruto was steadfast in his beliefs, adorable, and definitely enthusiastic…
But by god he could be a moron.
Oh Suigetsu, you're just so mean sometimes! Poor Deidara, getting mocked; and despite Itachi's protests, his coworkers seem to insist that he's attracted to Kisame! How on earth is that going to pan out? And god these guys can be unprofessional, can't they? At least they're endearing.
Next up: the extraordinary shopping adventures of Sasuke and Naruto! Such fun!
Keep the reviews rolling and I'll keep updates coming *smiles*
Much love
xx K