A/N: I'm on a roll with this one.

Now most of you figured out that this story is based on If I Stay. Some chapters will be more similar than others, but I have big plans for this story.

Please read the Chapter 1 author's note about the PCA's! It would mean the world to me if you voted!

Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or any of its characters and affiliates.

He was here.

Standing at the door of the trauma room with his hand pressed against the glass, watching as they worked on her with intense concentration.

Tears welled in her eyes as she turned and pressed her hand to the same spot as his. She was practically touching him, yet he had no idea she was there.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, looking into his blue eyes and wishing more than anything that he could see her standing right in front of him. She didn't know what she was sorry for; letting their problems get to the point where their marriage was falling apart, storming off, putting Abigail in harm's way...everything, really.

"Ok, let's get her up to surgery, now! We need to remove the spleen, drain the lung, and figure out what's causing the bleed! If she wants to live, she better start fighting!" one of the doctors yelled, pulling up the guard rails at the edge of JJ's gurney and squeezing the bag on the ventilation mask, breathing for her.

Saving her life.

Turning and following the doctors out of the room, JJ was at a loss.

"Start fighting? How am I supposed to start fighting?" she yelled desperately, despite knowing she wasn't going to get any answers.

Following them down the hall to the elevators, she was starting to panic. What was going on? She was scared, confused, and lost.

"Someone just talk to me, please, someone help me!"

Watching as JJ slowly moved around his living room, looking at the photos he had scattered around, Will smiled. He was already completely smitten with the petite blonde, and they barely knew each other.

There was something about her that he just loved immensely. Whether it was her smile, the way her eyes flashed when she laughed, or the total dedication to her job and helping others, he wasn't sure. But something had him very attracted to Jennifer Jareau, and it wasn't just her looks.

"Is this your dad?"

Snapping out of his thoughts, Will found JJ looking at him from across the room, holding a photo frame that she had plucked from the center of the mantle. He knew it was a photo of him and his dad sitting in the middle of a lake in their boat. Will looked drenched from head to toe, but was grinning from ear to ear.

Breaking into a soft smile, he sauntered over to her, looking lovingly at the photo in her hands. "Yeah, that's him"

"You look so happy," JJ mused quietly.

Will chuckled softly, taking the photo into his hands. "That was my sixteenth birthday. My daddy took me out on the boat to go fishing. We caught three fish, and the fourth one was so strong that I went overboard"

JJ laughed, the reason behind Will's apparent soaking in the photo now clear.

"But it was a good day," Will said softly, setting the photo back in its place.

"You miss him a lot, don't you?"

Will shrugged. "Every day. It seems like there's always somethin' happenin' that I wish he was here to experience"

Looking at JJ, he gave her a small smile. "I wish he coulda met you. He'd love you"

JJ blushed, laughing slightly as she wondered whether he was serious.

"I don't know...I can be a bit of a handful," she replied, moving a little closer to Will.

'Oh my god, Jareau, you're like a teenage girl,' she immediately chastised herself. Since the moment she'd met Will, she'd noticed she had let her guard down more and more, becoming more flirty with him every time she opened her mouth. And half the time, she couldn't believe herself.

"Yeah?" Will replied, a teasing lilt in his voice as he looked straight into JJ's eyes. Since when were they so close? Did he do that?

"Yeah," JJ whispered just seconds before his lips met hers.

It wasn't a forceful kiss, but rather gentle and sweet.

And abrupt, for as quickly as it had happened, Will had pulled away.

"I'm so sorry," he apologised quickly. "I don't know what came over me-"

"No, I definitely want to do that again," JJ said quickly, pulling him back towards her and pressing her lips to his.

And that was how they found themselves standing in the middle of Will's lounge room, arms wrapped around each other, kissing softly, laughing each time they came up for air.

To JJ, it was perfect.

Entering the operating room behind the team of doctors, JJ was ready to lose it. She wanted to break down, scream, cry, break something...she wanted someone to hear her, and she wanted someone to help her.

She moved closer to the end of the table where they had already raised a drape. Her eyes were still closed, her skin was steadily turning into an even sicker shade of grey, and the ventilation bag had been swapped with a machine.

"Am I going to die? Is that what this is?" she asked softly to no-one in particular, her eyes wet with tears.

She watched as the anaesthesiologist leaned down beside her ear and spoke softly.

"Here's the secret, beautiful. You control this whole thing. If you live, if you die, it's all up to you. So whatever fight you have in you, you gotta pull it out now"

The nurse's words ringing in her ears, JJ slowly backed out of the room as they started cutting into her abdomen.

'If you live, if you die, it's all up to you'

"Let's get two units of O-neg up, and have two ready to go," one of the surgeons called out.

"I think we're going to need a lot more than that," one of the others said grimly.

"Can we track down blood relatives please?" the first surgeon asked.

"Her husband and son are already here. I believe someone is already speaking with him," a nurse called back calmly.

Slipping out through the swinging doors, JJ headed back down the hall in the direction they had come. At least Will was here. Things weren't good between them, but it gave her a sense of comfort to know he was here.

As she passed a room on her left at the end of the hallway, she noticed a little girl sitting inside with her mom.

"Abigail," she gasped, suddenly remembering that she had yet to see her baby girl.

Turning the corner, she ran down the hall, heading for the large map of the hospital that was mounted on the wall at the end. Practically skidding to a stop in front of it, she scanned it as fast as her eyes would allow.

"Paediatrics...paediatrics," she muttered. Finally spotting the department she was looking for, she took off back down the hall.

"He's just a guy, Jen," Sandy Jareau laughed on the other end of the phone.

"Yeah, but he might be THE guy," JJ mused, making her mother laugh again.

"You sound exactly like you did at thirteen. You like to play it so tough, but I know so much better. Your team would have an absolute field day if they knew about your old biology book-"

"Mom, I swear to god-"

"-'Jennifer Jareau loves Timothy Hall' over and over and over. No wonder you did so poorly in bio"

JJ could feel the heat creeping up her cheeks, and she wondered if her mother could sense that, because she was still laughing.

"You're unbelievable, Mom, why do I still call you?"

"Because I'm your mother and you love me," Sandy replied seriously, laughter forgotten.

"That's debatable," JJ teased.

"Oh you. So anyway, you met him on a case, he's very handsome-"

"His accent is to die for," JJ mused.

"Someone's got it bad," Sandy laughed. "But you know what, you sound happy. It might be long distance, and you might be awfully stubborn and refuse to tell anyone but your poor old mother, but if he makes you happy, it'll work"

"He does make me happy," JJ replied softly, smiling as she thought of Will's last visit to DC.

"Good, because if he was making you miserable, I'd fly to New Orleans and whoop his ass for you," Sandy said. This time, it was JJ's turn to laugh.

"Why does that not surprise me?"

"Because I would do anything to protect you. You might be all grown up and living on your own with a career in the FBI, but to me, you'll forever be the little girl who giggled at everything and had to have at least one hug from everyone before bed each night"

JJ smiled, leaning back in the chair she was sitting in. "I love you, Mom, you know that right?"

Sandy chuckled softly.

"Of course I do. I love you too"

Having located Abigail's name on the board at the entrance to the paediatrics department, JJ sprinted down the halls, looking for room 205.

Just when she was convinced she must have already run past it, she spotted the plaque she looking for, next to the door at the end of the hallway.

Heaving a sigh of relief, she allowed a small smile to cross her face as she stood at the window, watching her son running gentle circles with his thumb on the back of his sister's hand.

"Abby," she breathed, slipping through the partially open door and slowly crossing the room to Abigail's bedside. "Oh baby, I'm sorry"

She placed her hand on Abigail's chest, lightly resting it over her daughter's heart. Just seconds later, Abigail lifted her hand, sluggishly swatting at the space above where her mother's hand was resting.

JJ quickly realised that because kids had better imaginations than most adults, and were less closed off to the world, her little girl was probably more aware of her presence than she had expected.

Leaning down, she gently stroked the top of Abigail's head. "It's all going to be ok, sweetheart. You're going to fight your way through this. We'll be ok"

'We have to be,' she thought as she looked up at her son. He looked pale, sick, and distraught. She had seen him get sick after they'd pulled away the bandages on her leg in the trauma room. Her poor boy, having to watch his mother and sister fight for their lives.

She wasn't going to let him watch them die.

Not a chance in hell.