The next morning he fell asleep on the bus. He had not had a pleasant rest of his night after he had woken up and was exhausted.

So, just like the beginning of the week, he was being shaken awaken to leave the bus. Antonio didn't seem to mind, but Lovino still felt embarrassed. His embarrassment was overcome by the strange feeling in his chest, though, when after stepping off the bus the first thing that Antonio said was, "You look so cute when you are asleep, Lovino!"

Lovino looked up in surprise. "W-what?"

Antonio's eyes sparkled, and he still had on the same uncontrollable smile. He continued along as if what he had just said hadn't made the swirling in Lovino's chest explode into a full-scale monsoon.

Lovino trailed along as Antonio continued to walk, pushing the overwhelming feeling down and trying to remain calm. Act normal.

"I believe this is where we part." Antonio announced when he stopped at the corner where they normally split. Ever since the first day, when Antonio had been late to class, they had started to part earlier. Antonio hadn't minded being late in the slightest, though. He claimed to have been late all the time last year when he would miss the bus nearly everyday, but Lovino wasn't going to have Antonio's attendance record plummet because of him.

Antonio smiled at him and Lovino felt the need to say something- anything- before they parted. "Why are you doing this?" Lovino blurted out and cursed himself. Definitely not the kind of thing he'd had in mind.

"Doing what?" Antonio asked cheerfully.

"Talking to me." Lovino said simply. He shouldn't have said that. He could have stopped this conversation then and there, but instead he had kept talking.

Antonio's gleeful smile dropped and he momentarily looked very confused. "Wh-" He looked at Lovino with his puzzled expression. "I enjoy talking to you, Lovino." He said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

It was Lovino's turn to be confused. "But, why? I don't have anything interesting to say and you've got plenty of friends you could talk to instead. I doubt I'm the only one on that bus you could sit with."

"But I don't want to sit with anyone else. You are very interesting to talk to and the things I have heard you say are actually some of the most interesting I've heard in a long time. The people around here," He motioned around with his hands, " all they talk about is who's dating who and what parties are happening. It's all very trivial. The thoughts that go through your mind, though, are so much deeper. So much realer."

Lovino wanted to shrug the ridiculous notions off, but he couldn't seem to speak.

Antonio continued in a lower voice, "So, why would I not want to talk to you?"

Then the bell rang.

Lovino's eyes flashed up to the ceiling, his cheeks burning intensely. "Shit." He cursed. They were late.

His eyes met back with Antonio's who then asked cordially, smirking and eyes aglow, "May I walk you to class?"

"You're insane." Lovino stated, fighting a smirk and nerves still sizzling with the stress from the previous conversation. He still didn't believe all of what Antonio had said.

"Yes, an insane man with a plan." Antonio's grin widened and he waggled his eyebrows which almost caused Lovino to laugh.

"You have class to get to." Lovino pointed out only to have it rebutted again.

Antonio shrugged. "I'm already late. A few minutes more will not hurt."

Lovino rolled his eyes. "Stupid Spaniard." But, despite this statement, he let Antonio accompany him down the hall.

After Lovino had gotten off the bus he felt his sleepiness start to seep away. He had survived countless sleepless nights before, so he was accustomed to coping. He walked down the hall with Antonio feeling only a slight ache in his muscles who were still mad at his lack of sleep. Antonio was making the smallest of talk with Lovino until they finally arrived at the door to Lovino's first period.

Lovino felt the need to say something again. "Hopefully, the teacher won't be too mad."

"Well, if she is, I'll see you at the attendance office." Antonio winked.

Lovnino rolled his eyes. "Get to class."

Antonio paused only once more. "I will see you on the bus this afternoon, then." Then Lovino went into his classroom, ready to escape Antonio's voice and to hopefully try to act like a normal person for the rest of the day.

-/-

The first week, teachers always cut the students slack, so, no, they did not see each other in the attendance office.

This outcome disappointed Antonio, but did not surprise him. It was like this every year and on Monday he hadn't been told to go to the office either. Not even today when he was severely late did the teacher do anything but wave him to his seat.

Antonio was alright with it, though. He knew he would find those amber eyes waiting on the bus for him that afternoon with his usual eye roll and scowl. He imagined what they might talk about. How he would laugh when Lovino would look at him like he was crazy. How Lovino would fold his arms and look out the window until Antonio asked him another question that would draw him away from the passing scenery. How he would look over with his hair slightly blowing about because it was still warm enough outside that people insisted on keeping a few windows pulled down.

His thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the sound of his two best friends, who had (mistakenly and terribly on behalf of the teacher) been put in the same science class.

"Mon ami! I wonder whoever you could be daydreaming so deeply about!" Francis teased. "Could it be-" He gasped dramatically, placing a hand to his chest and turning to Gilbert, "Our Toni's in love?!"

"Mein gott, Francis! Do we always have to go back to the love thing with you?" Gilbert said and Antonio was slightly relieved for the change in conversation. If it went the usual way Francis would respond with-

"Everything is love! How can we not talk about love when it is everywhere?" Francis exclaimed, confirming Antonio's thoughts. But Francis continued, "Besides, all Antonio can talk about lately is his new friend that we have not even gotten the chance to meet yet. And now he does not even hear when we are scheming our next great escapade, the first one, might I add, in our glorious last year here!"

Gilbert looked over at Antonio. "Sorry, man. He's got a point."

Now they were both looking at Antonio. "Um," He wasn't quite sure what they wanted him to say, "So, this escapade..."

"Not relevant anymore." Francis said with a flip of his hand and leaned closer. "When do we meet this friend of yours?"

Antonio wanted to break it to him that they had, in fact, already met Lovi, but the thought of them being able to seek him out whenever they wanted and possibly screw this whole thing up kept him from saying so. What was "this whole thing" exactly, though? What was he hoping would happen with him and Lovino?

Antonio just shook his head and just like that his friends backed off. Very uncharacteristic of them, but Antonio didn't want to question it.

"So, as we were asking before, we're staying after school for it. You in?" Gilbert asked as if the interruption hadn't even taken place.

"I don't know..." Antonio responded, imagining Lovino sitting alone on the bus without him.

"Come on, Toni! This is the perfect opportunity! And aren't you the one always going on about how this is our last year to do all this shit?" Gilbert insisted.

Antonio's heart ached at the thought that he wouldn't see Lovino until Monday if he did this, but he looked at his friends and realized he had no choice.

Antonio smirked, but his heart wasn't quite into it. "Okay." He agreed and his friends high-fived. Francis then started complaining that Gilbert's high-five had been too hard for his "beautiful and delicate hands."

Antonio shook his head; he was wondering if there was some way for him to let Lovino know he wouldn't be on the bus this afternoon, but knew he wouldn't see Lovino at all for the rest of the day.

Antonio sighed and started scribbling on the worksheet in front of him.

-/-

When Lovino boarded the bus that afternoon the jumpy, swirly feeling in his chest was making itself more and more apparent.

Lovino slid into the seat and watched out the window waiting to catch Antonio in the corner of his eye as he boarded the bus. Person after person boarded. He caught sight of the brashier of the two blonde look-a-likes enter and make his way to the back and saw the girl with the green ribbon as well. Feli and the Potato Bastard boarded and took their normal seat to the right.

Kiku's youngest brother boarded and took a seat further back. Most of Kiku's siblings rode the bus now. Feli had said that their older brother drove them the first day, but now drove to pick up his Russian boyfriend every morning.

Kiku was actually the last to board the bus, hurrying to take his seat behind Feliciano's. They made an odd trio and Lovino wasn't sure who was the third wheel most of the time, Ludwig or Kiku. One thing was for sure, though, Feliciano was always the center (and sometimes the only source) of the group's conversation.

In only seconds did the bus start to roll away and Lovino was struck with the information presented by the empty seat next to him. Antonio was not coming.

Lovino deflated into his seat, hunching over and bringing his attention back to the window. Of course Antonio would have had better things to do. He wouldn't waste his time riding the bus when he had friends. Why would he pay any attention to someone like Lovino? Why had Lovino let his hopes up in the first place?

Lovino felt his heart stutter as the realization hit him of what a lie Antonio's words that morning had been. At his first moment, Antonio had found a way to get away from him and Lovino shouldn't have expected any different.

Lovino felt his unmistakable stress rise. It was alright, though. He knew how to cope with his stress most times and if he couldn't, he could always just hide it.

-/-

Antonio watched the buses leave from a second story window. There was one particular bus his gaze was on, though, and he watched it as it turned the corner out of the school.

"Antonio, get over here and help us with this, will you?" Gilbert's voice came from across the room.

"Okay, okay." Antonio turned when the bus disappeared from sight to help his friends with duct taping their science teacher's chair. This wouldn't be the only chair redecorated that afternoon, but it was the start.

Antonio took a roll of tape and started wrapping the wheels of the rolling chair. His friends were working on the back rest and the arms. It was a nice chair.

This was their first prank of their last year of pranking. He was supposed to feel excited and nostalgic and happy to be there with his friends. The prank was nowhere near an extravagant or original one, but it was something they were doing together and something to get in trouble for if they got caught. It was for the fun and the thrill.

But, Antonio didn't feel any of that today. He just felt an overwhelming guilt from leaving Lovino alone and perhaps wondering those same thoughts that he had been thinking this morning. Antonio knew he wouldn't be able to wait until Monday to explain this to him. He decided to meet him sometime this weekend.

"So, Antonio. We're not letting our little conversation from earlier drop." Antonio was surprised when Gilbert was the first to bring it up and his face must have shown it. "What?" Gilbert said defensively. "You can't keep secrets from your awesome friends!"

He was right. Antonio could never keep secrets from his friends. For one, he was terrible at it. He would always act strange and distant enough that they would notice and not stop asking until they had answers. Two, if he couldn't tell his closest friends everything, who could he tell?

He looked up from his taping. "Okay." He meant to sound as if he had resigned himself in finally telling them, but actually managed to sound like an excited school girl.

They were both listening closely now. "Do you remember when we watched Who Framed Roger Rabbit at Gil's house with Feli and Ludwig? And afterwards I had to run home to take out the garbage or Afonso would likely kick my ass?"

Francis gasped. "You were actually rendevousing with your secret lover?"

Francis always managed to make things more dramatic than they actually were, but then again, Antonio was one to talk. He snorted and shook his head. "No, no. I was catching up with Lovino, Feliciano's brother. You remember him, right?"

Their eyes widened. "The really grumpy looking one?" Gilbert asked.

"He sat next to me when we watched the movie." Francis remembered.

Antonio beamed knowing his friends had the right one, not taking much offense to the first comment because that's just how Gilbert was. "We should have asked sooner!" Francis said then. "I hadn't realized we had already met him!"

Now was Antonio's time to be worried. "You won't do anything-"

Gilbert broke in. "Of course not, Toni! Whatever do you think we would do?" He had a scary mischievous glint in his eyes.

"Oh, I must meet him again! You must introduce us, Antonio; I want to meet your new boyfriend!"

Dios mio. Antonio thought. Of course this would happen. They wanted to butt in and no doubt embarrass him in the process. He groaned and placed his head in his hand.

"He is not my boyfriend, Francis, and I am starting to think that introducing you would be a bad idea. Besides, you've already met him."

"But I must, mon ami! For the sake of love!"

"I am not in love, Francis." Antonio chuckled at Francis being Francis. "We just talk on the bus."

"On the bus?" Francis exclaimed. "But you did not take the bus today! Whatever will dear Lovino think of you? Please, tell me you at least told him beforehand you would not be making it?"

"Um..."

Gilbert butted in. "Francis, what sane person would think twice about something like that? Antonio didn't take the bus for a single day. Give it a rest."

Francis and Gilbert then went about arguing about it which eventually turned into another conversation that Antonio decided to stay out of and continued stretching the silver duct tape to the legs of the chair.

When they were done with that chair, they moved down the hall decorating the rest of the science teachers' chairs how they pleased.

-/-

That weekend didn't turn out to be the chance Lovino had been hoping it would be for him to catch up on sleep. He knew exactly why the start of the school year affected him this way, but for some reason this time it came back faster and stronger. Almost every night the next week he had nightmares. Most of them ended up being sleepless ones.

These were the times Feli and Roma kept a close eye on him. Even Romeo was old enough to have picked up on the familial habit. So many eyes were on him. So many to watch when he broke.

He usually did well hiding it, though. The past few years he had convinced his family that he was doing fine, getting better even. They were hardly ever suspicious anymore and Lovino usually could handle whatever it was on his own.

Until now. Now he was rapidly getting worse.

That week his stress had only increased. The nightmares and hiding his fatigue from his family wore on his already exhausted days. Homework was increasing and his sleep was decreasing. He fell asleep in class constantly and the only thing that kept his grades up was working on homework late into the night when he was afraid to fall asleep. He had woken up from nightmares laying on his desk as many times as in his bed.

On Monday, Antonio had told him why he hadn't been on the bus that Friday and Lovino had pretended indifference, but he was still somehow worried. About what he couldn't be sure, but being around Antonio made him feel uneasy yet at rest all at once. He knew he should feel frustrated just thinking about it, but it was hard to feel anything but his utter exhaustion now-a-days.

The next Saturday, after a week-long exhaustion and another fitful night of sleep, Lovino groggily decided to take a walk. What had been going through his head exactly to prompt this? He wasn't quite sure. It could have been to avoid making his family suspicious by not laying in his bed all day or maybe it could have been that he was much too tired to protest this random decision.

When he left the walkway that led from their front door he subconsciously chose to turn left and walked until he reached the park. Surprisingly, the park was devoid of all visitors.

Lovino zombie-walked over to the pair of swings and sat down tiredly. He was safe from his family's would be concerned glances while he was here. He almost drifted to sleep many times slumped in that swing. Once he almost fell off the thing.

What am I doing? His thoughts started to protest. I should be home right now.

What, He argued back. So your family can worry about your apparent lack of sleep?

I could just hibernate in my room for a while until dinner. By then I might have enough energy to pretend that I'm completely fine.

No, you wouldn't be able to get a lick of sleep. You won't even be able to simply rest lest you accidentally fall asleep. And this time you might even wake up screaming and Feli and Roma and Romeo would definitely know what was going on.

Lovino hadn't had a night terror in years... but, no, it was best to just stay here.

So Lovino continued to doze off barely hanging off the swing awkwardly. He swung back and forth slightly to keep his feet busy. To give his body enough action to stay awake, but his consciousness was slowing slipping again. His body was relaxing and he was peacefully accepting the bliss of unconsciousness that was washing over him before a Spanish accent startled him and he fell off the swing.

"Lovino?" Antonio's voice was unmistakable. He sounded excited and pleased to have come across Lovino. He chuckled slightly when Lovino looked up from where he had landed on his knees on the ground, but his tone suddenly shifted when he saw Lovino's face. He now sounded concerned. Damn it. "Lovino..." Damn it.

Lovino threw up a pretense of normalcy. He planted a scowl on his face and crossed his arms making sure his feet were firmly planted on the ground so he wouldn't make a fool of himself by falling over again. He decided the best way to prevent that was to sit back down on the swing. He was too tired to stand anyway.

"What are you doing here?" Lovino asked, demanding that his voice to remain steady. It wasn't only the sleepiness affecting him now; the swirling had appeared in his chest again. Worthless confusing feelings.

"I wanted to take a walk." Antonio smiled and shifted his weight from foot to foot. His expression changed back to concern. "Are you alright, Lovi? You look tired."

Of course he did. He was exhausted.

Lovino didn't even notice that Antonio had referred to him by his silly nick name. "Whatever." He stood up to leave when he realized his legs were not quite on the same page and were not ready to hold his weight. When he stumbled, Antonio materialized at his side to catch him. Lovino's heart jumped into his throat and he shoved himself away.

This resulted in another stumble because, damn it, his body was too tired for this shit, but Lovino righted himself quickly. Now Antonio was really worried.

"Lovino, why don't you let me walk with you back to your house? You look like you could use a rest." Antonio suggested.

Stress rose in his chest. The idea sounded terrible to Lovino. He couldn't go back like this. He needed rest before he went back. He needed time to gather himself enough to pretend that nothing was wrong.

"Just go away, bastard." Lovino mumbled not sure what to do anymore. The stress rose. He didn't want Antonio to see him like this either. Why did Antonio have to find him like this? It was almost as bad as Feli finding him like this. Maybe worse because Feliciano had seen him like this before.

"Lovi-" Antonio started to protest. To try to persuade Lovino to let him help him back, but Lovino cut him off.

"No!" The sleep deprivation had certainly taken his ability to measure the appropriate reaction for the situation, but all he felt was the panic of not wanting to go back. He couldn't let them see him. He didn't want Antonio to see him like this. He just wanted to be somewhere else where he could be alone and bring himself back together. Force himself out of this silly stupor he couldn't get out of. "I can't go back like this! I can't- I can't..." He shook his head as if to further the point.

Lovino knew he was making a complete fool of himself, yet he couldn't take back the fatigue influenced words. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know where to go. How had it become this bad?

"Lovino," Antonio spoke quietly, soothingly. "We can go back to my house and you can sleep there. Is that better? Would that be okay?"

Lovino didn't know what to do. He was overwhelmed. He was breaking. He wanted to shake his head insistently, denying himself from going with Antonio anywhere, not wanting Antonio to see him breakdown. But he didn't see any better ideas. Antonio wouldn't just leave him out here alone, not when he had already seen him breaking down like this. He would tell his family.

So Lovino stood mutely, conflicting thoughts circling his head until Antonio reached out and took his hand. "It's okay, Lovi." He said softly. "It's okay."

Lovino resisted at first, but, before he knew it, Antonio was leading him away from the park gently. Lovino walked dazedly until he came back to himself enough to register the warmth of Antonio's hand. He folded his fingers inward so that their hands would remain locked and the warmness of Antonio's hand seeped into the skin of his palm.

When they passed the Vargas house Antonio slowed enough to leave room for Lovino to change his mind, but Lovino instead sped up.

When they came to Antonio's house Lovino finally slowed. "My brother is out for the day. You don't have to worry about running into any people." Antonio assured him and, still feeling awkward and uneasy and extremely tired, Lovino followed him inside.

Lovino could feel sleep creeping up on him and his body was already beginning to shut down. He was only just enough aware to realize when Antonio tucked him into a soft bed and whispered softly, "You can sleep, Lovi."

He didn't have to tell Lovino that, though. He was already drifting off deep deep into sleep.

-/-

He slept peacefully those few hours. When he woke up, he realized "those few hours" had been the rest of the day. The sun was just starting to dip behind the trees and the slightest trace of purple lined the sky.

Lovino continued to lay in the comfortable bed for just a bit longer, content with his rested mind and body, and not just yet ready to trust his legs on the solid ground. He laid for a few peaceful moments until realization dawned on him and everything that had happened before his restful sleep blinked into blinding view.

He had made such a fool of himself and where was he now? At Antonio's!

He suddenly sat up. In Antonio's bed?

Stupid! Idiota! He cursed himself in every way he knew how. In every language he knew how. He had freaked out in front of Antonio, possibly the only person outside his family he cared what his opinion of him was. He hadn't wanted him to see this. Even if Antonio didn't care about Lovino in general, Lovino still didn't want Antonio to know this horrible side of his life. At least his family knew what they were dealing with most of the time. It must have freaked the hell out of Antonio.

A knock sounded at the door, breaking Lovino from his destructive thoughts. Antonio popped his head in and seemed surprised to find Lovino awake. He broke into a smile, "¡Buenos dias!" Antonio greeted cheerfully.

Lovino considered commenting on how it hardly seemed to be morning, but stayed silent. Even if he had wanted to, he could not make his lips move at the moment.

Antonio moved slightly into the room. "I was afraid I would have to wake you. It is getting late. We wouldn't want your family getting concerned if you did not return home. That is, if you now want to."

Lovino disregarded the suggestion. His next words were so out of character it startled him and Antonio both. "I'm sorry you had to see that." His eyes stuck to the comforter on the bed as he said it.

A moment of pause ensued, then, "No, no, Lovino." Antonio's cheerful voice was now different. No longer cheerful, but not plain concern either. He was reassuring him. "No, you have nothing to apologize for."

Lovino didn't argue, but he also didn't agree. Of all the things he could have done, freaking out in front of Antonio could have been one of the worst.

Lovino had to explain this incident as quickly and normally as possible so Antonio would not jump to conclusions or worry about Lovino's health like his family so often did. He would not be telling Antonio any specifics, though.

"I didn't sleep very well last night." Well, it wasn't a lie. "I was just tired is all." He started to pull the covers off of himself which left him cold and wanting to snuggle right back in. He swung his legs off instead and proceeded to inconspicuously test them with his weight.

"I'm sorry to hear that. You shouldn't go out when you are that sleepy. It's best to just stay home. Are you sick at all?"

Lovino shook his head. "No, just sleep deprived."

"May I walk you home then?" Antonio asked.

Lovino's head snapped up. "W-why?"

"Well, I would want to make sure you made it home safe. You hardly made it here as it is, but you look much better now that you've had some sleep. Do you feel better at all?"

"Um, yeah." Lovino did feel better. Better than he had in days. "I should probably get going." Lovino pushed his tennis shoes onto his feet, paying no mind that they were tied and difficult to put on.

"Okay, let me just get my own shoes and I will walk with you."

"Don't you have better things to be doing, bastard?" Lovino asked, his demeanour coming back.

Antonio took delight in the words knowing it meant Lovino was feeling at least a bit better. He smiled and fetched his own shoes catching up with Lovino as he exited through the front door.

Antonio walked Lovino home and said a quick goodbye at the end of the walkway in front of the Vargas' house. "Have a good night, Lovi!" Antonio called behind him as he walked to the door. Lovino ignored him. "And, Lovi," Antonio said one last time to get his attention, "If you ever need a peaceful place to rest, please come over."

Lovino didn't plan on it so he replied, avoiding the offer with one familiar statement, "Don't call me that, bastard." But his heart was in his throat. Antonio had invited him to see him again. Sure, it was just an offer for a place to sleep, one that he would most likely need soon, but was definitely not planning to take, but, if anything, he had an excuse for it.

Not that he wanted an excuse to see that bastard. Lovino turned and walked inside his house not turning back until he shut the door.

-/-

Lovino managed to make it up to his room without anyone noticing and proceeded to lay down on his own bed. It was a lot colder than Antonio's and Lovino imagined the nightmares that lurked just below the sheets of it, waiting for him to fall asleep. Lovino scrambled under the covers and pressed the blankets up to his chin. He couldn't fall asleep, so he figured he would just lay there and stare at the closet door across the room.

He didn't need sleep like he had earlier that day, but he still wasn't up to full capacity yet. What he really needed was a good, full-night's sleep.

That was unlikely, though.

He sighed. At least he had gotten a decent amount that afternoon. His skin prickled and his head filled with shame again. Antonio had seen him break down. His mind repeated it over and over. He wouldn't stop reminding himself of it.

He couldn't allow that to happen again. No one could know that something was wrong.

There came a knock at the door and Lovino got up to answer it. Roma was there.

"Ah, Lovino!" His Grandpa exclaimed like it was a pleasant surprise to see him as if they didn't live in the same house. "I was wondering when you got home! You must have snuck past your old man when you came in!"

Lovino waited for his Grandpa to cut to the chase. "Anyway," Roma continued, "It is dinner time, so wash up and come down to eat."

"Let me guess. Pasta?" Lovino asked sarcastically.

"Of course! What sort of family do you think this is?" Roma clapped Lovino on the shoulder, and they both headed downstairs for dinner.

"Certainly not a normal one." Lovino mumbled already smelling the tomato sauce from the kitchen. He continued to pretend and his family continued to remain oblivious. Lovino felt relieved.

Maybe he could get through this on his own.

Thank you, everyone! I hope you've all enjoyed the story so far! Still a lot to come!