Ok seriously please don't kill me. I've been on break and lazy and all but I had serious problems with this fic mainly…my computer had a virus, had to be wiped, and ALL OF MY DOCUMENTS DIED T.T apparently they weren't saved on my external hard drive correctly and they are all gone (including all my work on fan fictions, oh yeah and all that important school stuff to, but whatever.) *sigh* it's taken me awhile to get over this crushing blow. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this little installment and I'm going to plug though anyway. Take Care!

Listened to: Which to bury us or the hatchet? – Relient K

Disclaimer: I don't own Code Geass, at all.

Hidden Hearts

The battle of the previous day left Lelouch tired, sore, and in low spirits. None-the-less he wasn't willing to miss school today; he needed to see how Suzaku was doing. How badly his enemy was injured and shaken; if his friend had pulled through okay, if he would forgive.

"Lelouch!" Nunnally called for her brother from downstairs "come to breakfast."

"Lelouch you look terrible! Didn't you sleep at all last night?"

"Of course Nunnally. You needn't worry about me. I'm not hungry today so I'll just be off to school ok? Sayoko will help you to class." With that Lelouch left for school with tired eyes, scrapes from the previous day, and a heavy heart.

He ignored her calls to take an umbrella. As a hard cold rain came down from the sky and showed no signs of stopping, Lelouch slipped through the door.

He arrived to class on time (much to the pleasure of his professor), soaked to the bone, and remained completely oblivious throughout the day. He did not look at Suzaku and Suzaku did not look at him. Lelouch stared at the blackboard, feigning interest, as he replayed the battle over and over again in his head. His sister, Cornelia, had proven a more difficult adversary than he had anticipated. He knew better than to think her soft, as some of his aristocratic siblings were. No, she was made for battle and he had accounted on a hard won victory. A victory! A victory not this poor excuse for a battle. Lelouch heard the thought shouted in his head what seemed like a thousand times. Furiously he recounted the battles events and outcomes. Both sides had lost heavily, but Britannia had far vaster reserves upon which to draw. At least the Black Knights held their own…but that will not do. I must win. Another part of him still said. In a way I should be thankful for this battle. It exposed weaknesses in the Black Knights which must be rectified and it spilled the blood of many Britannian's who were in my way. But still, the main objective has not been reached. I must destroy Britannia. *bbrrrrrrrrrrrrrringgg*

Lelouch was started back into consciousness by the bell ringing. He jumped out of his seat and with a painful smile called to his friends "See you guys later." His hardly contained scowl brewing beneath the surface Lelouch tore for the door and fully intended to go back to sleep. "I don't care about any of this anymore." I can't do this anymore! Lelouch thought in a panic. I can't! I'll have to destroy Suzaku, Euphemia, even Nunnally isn't safe! Every day I put her in danger as a relative of a terrorist! I'll have to destroy Zero; find some other way to oppose the empire. Suzaku will help me…he will forgive me then… Lelouch could not help but hope; hope that he was right even as Zero knew he was wrong.

Fool! Zero hissed into his mind you are every bit the fool you accuse Suzaku of being. To create a brilliant plan like this and be too weak and pathetic to see it through. There is no excuse and Suzaku would never forgive you for such a failure. Just as you failed in the battle because you were up against your sister, whom you respect and Suzaku, whom you love. Your emotions are going to kill us both! Lelouch knew it was true. He hated the fact that Suzaku had refused to join his cause for a second time at the battle. Lelouch was certain Suzaku could see he lacked convictions, and he would fail in his goal of saving Suzaku from the evil of the empire, from creating a world in which they could be together, a world which accepted people who were different like us, like Nunnally.

"Ah!" Lelouch cried out in a choked sob of surprise. Lelouch lay prone, his back against the brick of the wall with his shoulders pinned down by Suzaku.

"You!" The boy snarled as his emerald eyes burned with emotions of hatred, loss, anger but most of all betrayal. "We could have worked together! You were my friend! We were supposed to be together, always!" Suzaku's eyes turned cold his voice emotionless and he continued "You're supposed to be so smart, but all you've done is followed this insane plan that only hurts the innocent, and is, most likely, going to kill us both." Suzaku removed his hands from Lelouch's shoulders quickly as though he couldn't stand to touch the boy another second and stormed off towards the dormitories.

In truth Suzaku couldn't stand to touch his friend for a second longer. He was disgusted with himself for getting angry, for failing to resolve this conflict. Most of all Suzaku couldn't stand to look at Lelouch who appeared as though Suzaku's words had truly broken the boy in two.

Lelouch stared ahead sightless until his body slumped into the cold wet mud of the ground. He was in pain, his heart beat furiously and contracted painfully, Suzaku had surely killed him. A drug?! Lelouch thought frantically. He remained in the dirt with the icy needles prickling at his flesh until darkness finally consumed him. This can't be the way it ends… was Lelouch's final thought before he lost himself in that warmth of darkness. It was not long before Lelouch was dragged away, in the clutches of a green haired woman.

When Lelouch awoke he was puzzled and disappointed to see himself in a bed comfortable, clean, and very much alive. "ha!" Lelouch let out a bitter laugh as he reflected that his feeble immune system would only fail him now by failing to allow him to succumb to pneumonia or some other unpleasantness that would take him away from this nightmare.

"Well I see you're awake."

"Shut up witch!"

"Is that any way to thank your savior? You were far more grateful for my assistance the first time I helped you. Not regretting it are you?" CC eyed him carefully.

"No."

"At least you're not babbling on about assassination attempts anymore. Honestly, there are enough people who want you dead without you inventing any."

"Suzaku does want me dead." Lelouch retorted.

*hmph* "Well you already know what to do about that. Kill him or use your Geass."

"Leave me alone witch."

CC stared at him then sauntered out of the room, cheese-kun in hand.

Lelouch sighed and leaned back into his pillows. A fitful and fevered sleep overtook him that night due to exposure to the rain and stress. He tossed about restlessly, desperate for something.

Lelouch knew it had to be a dream. He was years back in time, in a time that was happy.

--- The warm gentle breeze flowed through the tall grasses. Underneath the bright moon, he ran though the gently swaying grass silently till he was tackled by Suzaku. The two burst into laughter. Their common midnight outings were always fun. It was a whole new world to explore and create. There were no helicopters, no soldiers, no officials or advisors, and most of all no one to say or care that one was Japanese and the other Britannian nobility. No one to say they should be enemies, no one to see that they were friends, no one to keep them apart. Even as their two nations raged in a war of superiority as much as sovereignty the two found peace. Because that was the world of the day, the world of the night was much more bright. It was a world filled with soft ground, fireflies, rows of vegetables ripe for harvest. Of dark forests to uncover mysteries in, cool streams to bathe in, and soft banks on which to rest. It was in this world the two could laugh, and play, and tell truths in. It was this world that they lived and fought for.

The two were tired and breathing heavily from their game of tag. His stamina had of course given out making him an easy target for Suzaku. The two now lay peacefully upon the grass staring up at the stars and stealing glances at each other. This silence was interrupted as Suzaku slid closer to his body and placed a soft kiss upon his forehead. "I missed you." the emerald eyed boy said. The exotic violet eyed boy responded with a soft smile "I missed you too." He whispered.

Suzaku took on a troubled countenance as he remained propped above his friend "I don't know when I'll see you again?"

"Don't worry." he whispered back "we're together now and I know we'll be together again. We're not supposed to worry about those things now right?"

Suzaku leaned down again, this time placing a kiss on his nose. "Right" he said firmly "I just don't like how we have to hide."

"We're not hiding, stupid. We're out in the open, after all, it was your idea to come here." He said to reassure his friend, though he knew how the boy felt. "Besides this stupid war is going to end." He said with confidence. "When I'm old enough I'm going to destroy Britannia so no one will have to experience this injustice and pain."

Suzaku hummed in response and continued downwards scattering kisses randomly along his torso. Lelouch couldn't repress a small shiver at this action. With a sly grin Suzaku added hands to his play and lightly tickled Lelouch.

"No fair!" he cried out indignantly. But Suzaku was persistent and stronger, even then, and the tickling persisted.

---- break to reality

"mmmm. Mmmm. Mmmmmm." His moans were pitiful, soft, and insistent as he dreamed of his friend's mouth upon his body. He missed that touch. Lelouch missed that time, more than he would ever admit to anyone.

Break to dream ---

Suzaku finally allowed him to rise. Lelouch jumped to his feet trying to avoid another 'attack'. He looked at his friend with a begrudged smile, he could never remain angry with Suzaku, not since they had become friends. The look of horror and repulsion that Suzaku returned puzzled Lelouch. A second later he felt himself grabbed violently by the shoulders by two sharply taloned feet. He cried out in pain and looked up only to be confronted by the sight of a giant bird. The bird's feathers were red as blood and it looked down upon the boy with cold dark and intelligent eyes. It released a might shriek that tore through the night.

"Suzaku!" he cried out to his friend below

"Suzaku!" Lelouch cried out as he bolted upright in bed, chest heaving, eyes wide, clutching his shoulders.

"It was so real." He said as he gripped his hand to his head. "The memory was real, it was real. I remember when that happened. It was the last night we saw each other before…." Before Britannia crushed Japan Lelouch finished sadly. Lelouch glanced at his shoulders and half expected to see some mark left behind by the terrible bird but there were only bruises from Suzaku's hands holding him down earlier that day.

Confused, tired, and miserable Lelouch lay back down and stared into the night through his window.

---Suzakus POV ---

Suzaku stood looking by the window in his dorm looking out over the grounds. He stared with the cold angry eyes that had not left his face since his confrontation with Lelouch. It was very clear now. Lelouch had to be stopped, at any cost; he had to be saved from himself. He tried to let the fall of the rain clear his mind but after several hours Suzaku found the task hopeless. I can't forget him! I'm not supposed to be his enemy! He confessed miserably. It was only then that hot tears fell down Suzaku's cheeks as he recalled the Lelouch of long ago who had remained strong, despite his weaknesses. This Lelouch is different Suzaku thought bitterly he keeps secrets, has no honor, no pride, as though consumed by the thought of destroying Brittania as he promised all those years ago. Suzaku only longed for his friend back. He wished that circumstances had not made them enemies, that this nation would not come between them once again.

Where has the world where we can love each other freely gone?

3 guesses as to what the big red bird is! *psst* it's Geass/Zero messing with Lelouch's head (and ruining his dreams!) nuuuuuuuuuu T.T

REVIEW PLEASE! Seriously, I'm not sure anyone is reading this anymore. Hello? Anyone out there O.O

A/N: I was generally unhappy with the previous chapter and between then and now I have realized why. I dragged the plot of the Code Geass anime into my story without sufficient elaboration, into this story that was supposed to occur in that world but not in that way (that is, not supposed to follow verbatim, the plot of Code Geass) I made a grave error and I hope this chapter helps to fix it. I couldn't drop the battle off the face of earth (even though it only existed in brief allusions in my story) so it is mentioned but I am putting the story back on the track it's supposed to be on, I think) Having said that I probably saturated this story with entirely too much angst which is surpassed in horrificness only by my lack of grammar and/or sentence structure (I do know how to use grammar, I promise. It's just that I find writing in stream of consciousness very fun, as long as it's coherent). I need a beta! T.T (quick note Lelouch wasn't poisoned, he just fainted.)