The Witcher: Part IV
The Attack of the Clones
Previously, on The Witcher:
The Half-Blood Prince Severus wants a blood transfusion from Geralt, which will give him the powers to rule the world.
How will our hero make it out of this predicament?
Geralt struggled, but he couldn't get free. He tried to break his bonds with magick, but no avail. All of the prince's witches were holding him down.
"Give up," said Prince Severus, as Geralt began to lose consciousness.
Just then, Geralt had a great idea. He used magick to incompletely combust some of the carbohydrate compounds in his blood, releasing carbon monoxide.
And then he fainted.
Prince Severus inserted the transfusion device into his arm, and began to transfer blood. The CO in Geralt's blood acted as a competitive inhibitor to the haemoglobin in Severus' green blood cells. And slowly, Prince Severus lost consciousness.
That was the point when Geralt awoke, recovered from his self-inflicted carbon monoxide poisoning, due to his superior Witcher metabolism. He used magick to break free of his bonds.
"Come back, you criminal scum!" yelled a guard as Geralt of Rivia smashed a window and flew away into the distance.
Geralt was glad to be away from Prince Severus' city. He continued north on his quest to find the Sword of Death. After a few hours, he came across a plane flying through the sky.
He tried to dodge it, but it started firing laser beams at him. He then used magick to fire laser beams at the plane. There was a fight.
And it ended in both parties falling to the ground.
Geralt, covered in his own red blood, staggered towards the plane to see who attacked him. In the plane, a human (nonwitch) man lay slumped in his seat. He wore glasses, now broken from the force of impact. He also had a mustache.
Suddenly, his eyes flickered, and the man awoke.
"Why did you try to shoot me?" asked Geralt.
"Because you are intruding upon my land," said the man.
"This land is my home," he said, pointing out towards the grassy plains.
"Trespassing is prohibited. And its also a breach of privacy for you to go snooping around my home."
"Can't I pass through? This place is the only pass through the Mountains of Death." asked Geralt.
"No," said the man. He climbed out of the wreck of his plane.
"Why do you need all this land anyway?" asked Geralt.
"It is for my family. I have a very high reproductive rate."
"Who are you?" asked Geralt.
"My name... is Heinrich Himmler. And unless you wish to feel my wrath, you should leave now," threatened the man.
"You're just a scrawny human dude," said Geralt.
"You couldn't face me, the Witcher, with my magick!"
"U rekn" said Heinrich Himmler.
And then suddenly there was some mitosis and then there were two Heinrich Himmlers. And then there were four. And then there were eight. And then there were sixteen. This continued until there was an army of Heinrich Himmler clones.
Fortunately for Geralt, conservation of mass is a thing.
The army of Heinrich Himmlers were all about two millimeters tall each. But then they ate some of the grass. And they grew and divided and grew and divided until there was an actual army of Heinrich Himmlers facing Geralt.
"Prepare to die," they said simultaneously.
And then the Heinrich Himmlers were onto Geralt.
He cast as many magick spells as he could to wipe out some of the Heinrich Himmlers, but whenever he killed a bunch, there were always more. There were just too many.
They punched and kicked him and Geralt was beaten and bloody and bruised.
"Never underestimate the power of asexual reproduction," said one of the Heinrich Himmlers, before he punched Geralt in the face and everything went black.
TO BE CONTINUED
IN
THE WITCHER: PART V
A FLY IN THE OINTMENT