Wolf: Part 1 of the Halloween chapter!

Jayfeather: I make my appearance finally!

Wolf: Ding ding ding we have a winner! I don't own Star Wars, Warriors, Pizza Hut, or Starbucks. I also don't own the songs in this chapter or Samuel L. Jackson. I do own what's left of my sanity, which I keep in a pickle jar safely hidden away.

Chapter 4: Halloween

Weeks passed by, and soon it was October thirty-first: Halloween. Palpy didn't think the holiday was such a big deal, but Wolf did. So the rotton corpse had devised a plan.

Wolf couldn't have caffeine. If she did, she went insane. She couldn't control herself. So Poopatine had stolen all of Solo's frappuchinos, poured them into Wolf's decaf bottles, and resealed them. Brilliant, right?

NOT!

Luke aimlessly wandered the corridors. Up ahead, he could see Wolf. She had a deck of cards in one hand, and was holding up an eight of spades. Next to her was a light gray tabby cat. "Is this your card?" she asked.

Startling Luke, the cat answered, "I can't tell. I'm blind, genius, remember?"

"Uhh…tah-dah!" she turned and spotted Luke. "Hey! What's up?"

The cat was walking away as Luke replied, "Were you just talking to a cat?"

"Yup! He's Jayfeather, our medicine cat."

"We have a blind talking cat as a doctor?!"

Wolf glared. "Don't insult him! He is awesome! Anyways, you should go to the Halloween party downstairs tonight."

"Are you going?" Luke asked.

Wolf shook her head. "I'm not even bothering this year. If I can't eat candy what's the point?" Wolf waved goodbye and left.

This sucked! No candy OR caffeine! What was next, no oxygen? "Time for some of that decaf in the fridge," she muttered, as she Apparated into her room. She opened the fridge and pulled out three bottles. "Wait a minute, Palpy tampered with these!" she shouted.

However did she know. Apparently Palpy had forgotten that Wolf was the authoress. Therefore, she already knew what was going to happen…right? Or was this just some sort of plot hole? Besides, the story was more interesting if she didn't know what was going to happen….right? Whatever, she was going to drink the dang frappuchinos anyways!

Wolf chugged down the first one. Then the second and the third…

Obi-wan woke up from his nap. There was a huge disturbance in the Force! Quickly pulling on his boots, Obi-wan raced out of his room and towards the source. Who should he meet along the way other than Qui-gon, Mace, and Ahsoka?

"You felt it too?" Obi-wan asked as they sprinted.

"We all have," Ahsoka replied. They were now outside of Wolf's room, the source of the disturbance. "Here goes nothing," Ahsoka muttered, as Qui-gon kicked down the door.

"I GET KNOCKED DOWN, BUT I GET UP AGAIN! YOU AIN'T NEVER GONNA KEEP ME DOWN!I GET KNOCKED DOWN, BUT I GET UP AGAIN! YOU AIN'T NEVER GONNA KEEP ME DOWN!" Wolf was singing at the top of her lungs, while jumping up and down in the air. At the sight of the Jedi, she pointed at Mace and screamed, "OH MY FORCE, IT'S SAMUEL. L. JACKSON!!!"

"What the…" everyone was shocked by this. Wolf took this opportunity to narrate.

"Ahsoka, Qui-gon, Mace, and Obi-wan all stared at me , clearly astonished. They appeared to be reaching for their light sabers. However, they hesitated. I took the advantage by grabbing my wand and pointing it at Mace. 'POOPIUS PANTSOLUS!' I shouted.'

"A loud gurgling sound came from Mace. About to have diarrhea, Mace fled the room. Only Qui-gon, Obi-wan, and Ahsoka remained. Ahsoka appeared to be heading for the kitchen, while Obi-wan and Qui-gon approached me with nervous looks. I grinned and began my attack.

"Using martial arts skills I never even learned, I kicked Obi-wan twice, in the stomach and the chest, and karate chopped his head. He fell to the floor with a thud. I elbowed Qui-gon in the gut, who had been about to attack my back.. Obi-wan attempted to et up and recover, and I punched him in the face.

"I twisted around and realized that Palpy had entered the room. Running forward, I immediately kicked him between the legs. This probably wouldn't do anything, seeing how he doesn't have-"

CLANG! Both Wolf's attack and narration ended as Ahsoka smacked her in the head with a frying pan. Pulling Wolf into a chair, Ahsoka puled out a roll of duct tape and began taping Wolf to the chair. Once she was done, she helped Obi-wan and Qui-gon up, laughed at Mace, and kicked Palpy out of the room. Wolf was left alone.

Luke…Luke…LUKE!!! Luke groaned.

Father, if this is about the Dark Side, I don't want to hear it!

Luke, it is the only way. The Emperor will kill you if you refuse.

Well, you can tell the corpse that I told him to suck it!

Son, he'll find you…especially at that party.

Luke screeched in annoyance. Of course! Why did Sith Lords have to be such a-holes?! Now his fun for the night was screwed! Luke went to his room to sulk.

Downstairs, everyone except Luke, Palps, and Wolf were partying. Some, like Vader, stood stiffly, while others…well…

Mace, dressed as Michael Jackson, and Darth Maul, whose costume resembled the Grim reaper, were having a dance-off, while Yoda was in a corner playing Guitar Hero at expert level. Dooku was eating the metal forks and spoons for some reason, and everyone except Vader was eating. Unknown to them but known to us, the food had been tampered with by Voldermort, who somehow came into this story out of nowhere. Now anyone who ate would turn into a zombie. How refreshing.

Vader sighed. His son wasn't there, and neither was his master. He really shoul have been looking for them. As he looked around, people began to transform; they turned green and bony, and they turned on Vader.

"BRAINS!" everyone shrieked. As they advanced on Vader, Vader spun around and headed for the door. Luke would murder him if he killed-

Luke! Of course! He was in danger! He raced to find Luke…before the zombies did.

Luke locked down the door of his room and headed down the hall. He had had a good sulk, and now it was time to party!

Dang it! I forgot! Old and Wrinkly will be there! He groaned….and why did he hear howling and wind? He turned a corner and stopped dead.

Mace and everyone else had their backs turned to him, and Mace was wearing very flashy clothing. For some reason everyone was green and bony. Suddenly, music started and Mace fancily twisted around, with everyone doing some peculiar dance. Mace began to sing:

"It's close to midnight

and something evil's lurking in the dark

Under the moonlight,

you see a sight that almost stops your heart

You try to scream

but terror takes the sound before you make it

You start to freeze

as horror looks you right between the eyes

You're paralyzed'Cause this is thriller, thriller night

And no one's gonna save you from the beast about strike

You know it's thriller, thriller night

You're fighting for your life inside a killer, thriller to-"

"Get away from my son, zombie!" Mace had danced closer and closer to Luke throughout the song, and had been about to attack, when Vader appeared. He aimed a Force-shove at the zombies, grabbed Luke's wrist, and ran. They sprinted into the nearest room and locked the door.

"Why didn't you stop them?" Luke asked.

"I don't know how to stop them, and I knew you would forever disown me if I killed your friends."

"Great, that means-" Luke began, but was cut off by a new voice.

"I regained consciousness several hours later. Luke and Anakin were standing a few feet away, chattering away urgently. Dang, I missed the pre-Mustafar Anakin. He wa so hot when Hayden Christensen played him. That'll teach him to get lit on fire by a river of lava!"

"Wolf?" Vader inquired. Finally, someone who could help! "We need to know how to stop zombies!"

Wolf smapped out of her narration. "Just shoot their heads off with a large-"

"We do not want to kill them!" Vader snapped. He then explained the situation to her. When he was finished Wolf had a thoughtful look on her face.

"Uhh, Wolf?" Luke asked.

"Let me guess what you were going to say: Why am I duct taped to a chair? I don't know. Ahsoka knocked me unconscious."

"Say what?! Explain!"

"Well," Wolf began, "I came up here and pulled out three frappuchinos. After drinking them I had these more hyper than normal feelings, like a super sugar high. I was singing at the top of my lungs, and I guess I caused a disturbance in the Force, because Obi-wan, Qui-gon, Ahsoka, and Mace came in. I used some spell I made up on Mace, and he crapped his pants."

At this everyone laughed for five straight minutes. When they were done, Vader continued, "Ahsoka went to the kitchen, while Obi-wan and Qui-gon tried to take me down. Using martial arts skills that I know I never learned, I easily defeated them. Palpy came in too, but I kicked him where the sun doesn't shine, knocking him out. So he's probably not a zombie. After that, Ahsoka knocked me unconscious, and that's the end of the story.

"Hey," said Luke, "I have an idea." he walked over to the fridge and pulled out ten frappuchinos. "Three of these make you hyper, right?"

"Technically," corrected Wolf, "I'm already hyperactive, so they made me super hyper. Why?"

"Well, these things allowed you to defeat three JedI Masters and a Sith Lord. So if you had ten of them…"

Wolf caught his drift. "I'll be like some kamikaze zombie slayer…my wand will cure the zombiness, but Ahsoka has it…fine, I'll do it.

Ten minutes later…

Wolf had chugged all ten bottles, was blindfolded, and was shaking insanely.

"It's dark!" she shouted.

"Relax, Wolf!" said Vader, "we'll take you to the light." He glanced worridly at Luke.

Your plan better work.

I know…or else we're screwed.

"Okeedokee, Doctor Jones! Wheeeeeeee…..I'm hungry, do we have some bacon? I like bacon!"

They could see the zombies up ahead. "Now!" said Luke, and they yanked off the blindfold.

Mace was the first Wolf took out. He was still dancing, and she took a flying kick at his head. By now everyone had noticed her. None of them could stop Wolf, though.

Wolf had already taken out Mace, Obi-wan, Qui-gon, Dooku, Maul, Ahsoka, Lando, and Han. Boba Fett started forward, rifle in hand. Wolf snatched the rifle and smashed it on his head. There was a loud *clang*, and he was down.

Next was Leia. She came at Wolf, teeth bared, clearly wanting to east Wolf. Wolf, with two nasty chops and a kick to the gut, took her down. Now only Yoda was left.

He flew at her with a flying jump. Wolf, not really caring that she was taking on Yoda, a freaking Jedi Grand Master, punted him into the nearest wall. (A/N: Yup. Yoda got punted. Never seen that before.)

"Good! Let the hate flow through you!" Wolf spun around, only to find a normal but disgusting Emperor Poopatine. Yuck. She did NOT like this guy.

"Join the Dark Side, Wolf!" Annoyed, Wolf reached behind her…and pulled a rocket launcher from nothing! How awesome is that? "AHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Palpy like a little girl, before the missle hit him.

Wolf skipped outside, shrieking like a banshee.

The world slowly came back into focus.

The first thing that registered with Wolf was that she was in a ditch, and it was now the next day. The second was that her cell phone was ringing.

Then she remembered everything.

"Dang, I did awesome!" Wolf picked up her cell phone.

"Hey, Wolf? It's Jayfeather. We managed to revive everyone except the corpse, who still has some third degree burns. What you did to him with the rocket launcher was awesome, by the way."

"Thanks. Who wants Pizza Hut?"

And so, Wolf, Jayfeather,a dn the rest of the gang except Palpy all went to Pizza Hut to pig out.

Wolf: Mwuahahaha!

Jayfeather: You scare me sometimes.

Wolf: Anyways, I notced that out of the hundred people who come here, only two review! Come on, I'll take whatever I can get! Even flames!