Let It Go
A/N: Thank you to all who have reviewed so far. Means alot to me ^^ Updates probably won't be as fast as last time, since I was home sick for two days last week. But they should come out pretty regularly. Anyway, enjoy this chapter ;P
Chapter 4
Let It Go
When Gerald revealed to Phoebe the events of the last day, she let out a little gasp with her hands over her mouth.
"Are you certain?"
Gerald nodded, and leaned back in the chair of the cafeteria, his elbow slung carelessly over the back.
"Mmhm. Words from his own mouth. 'I don't know about love..ugh..maybe. I like her a lot'" He imitated his best friend. Phoebe giggled a little. "I called it from day one. Boys got it bad for her. He's even all upset that she's not going to join the drama club because Olga got a job as the teacher. It's crazy"
Phoebe looked upwards at the ceiling, processing all he had told her, but then she frowned and pointed a finger at him.
"Well now you need to give her her locket back. It's cruel of you to hold it over her head like that."
He could only snicker at that, with fingers now laced behind his head.
"Come on Pheebs. We need something. If we don't do something to intervene, innocently, they're both just going to coast through middle school skirting around how they feel and nothing good will come of it. He'll date others, be miserable, and she'll obsess. Don't you want to see your best friend get what she's always wanted?"
"Well of course but-"
"Then we need to act!"
Phoebe frowned, her arms folded across the table as she leaned forward in order to look intimidating.
"Then I'll just tell her what Arnold said."
"Gah. You can't do that" He sprang forward so he wasn't leaning against the chair. "Like I said, we have to intervene innocently. We can't just tell the other what the other one said. That's betraying their trust."
"But maybe they'll forgive us if it brings them together." She pointed out, but he shook his head.
"C'mon, they're both so dumb with this. They need to realize it on their own."
"Realize what?"
The two jumped, not realizing that Arnold had showed up behind them, lunch tray in hand. He took his usual seat besides Gerald while the others looked on slightly horrified, until Gerald cleared his throat and uttered a quickly thought response.
"Realize—what time it is. Geez you two are late."
Phoebe rolled her eyes; Arnold shrugged.
"I had to go to the bathroom. It's not a big deal. Not sure where Helga is though.." He stared at his tray thoughtfully while realizing that Helga wasn't there either. He genuinely wondered where she was.
Phoebe studied him for a moment, as he stared down at his food.
"Hey, uh, Arnold?" She asked, resting her chin atop her laced fingers. He looked up from his tray upon hearing his name.
"Yeah Phoebe?"
She was silent for a moment, as if debating if this was the right thing to ask. But after taking a deep breath, she took the plunge.
"What do you think of Helga?"
The question caught him off guard, and he didn't notice when Gerald shot her a look. She held her ground.
"What? Uh..Why do you ask?"
She shrugged her shoulders, trying to seem nonchalant about the whole thing.
"Well you know, Gerald and I spend a lot of time together, and we go on dates, and your both single, but you two seem to get along well enough, I just feel like it's something you should try giving a shot.."
Arnold's mouth hung open a little, surprise at the directness with which Phoebe approached that at all. His first instinct was to respond with something along the lines of "Well how would I even ask her" But he knew that would reveal too much, and he really didn't want Phoebe to go back to Helga..
He sighed and hung his head then, once again fixing his gaze to his lunch tray.
"Well I don't like her like that, for starters.." He lied. But his body language, coupled with the knowledge from Gerald, gave him away. Nevertheless, Phoebe didn't push. If he wasn't ready to say it himself, then he obviously didn't want Helga to know yet. She cast Gerald a glance, who returned it with a knowing sort of smirk.
Conversation resumed as normal, until Helga finally did show up. She hadn't bought any food, just a bottle of water, and she slouched in the chair besides Phoebe. An expression that was a cross between a scowl and a frown indicated that she wasn't in the mood to talk, in addition to the fact that she avoided eye contact; this didn't keep her from feeling the burn of Gerald's gaze upon.
Arnold had perked up at her arrival though, and he scooted his chair a bit closer to hers.
"Hey Helga, How come your late?" He asked innocently enough, his attention now fixed to her; it was a more interesting subject than his lunch tray anyway.
"None of your beeswax, Arnoldo.." She wouldn't tell him she paced back and forth in the hallway for fifteen minutes arguing with herself about why she should or shouldn't go to lunch today, after having gone to sign up for the auditions.
Shot down by her rare reemergence of that hardened shell, Arnold sighed and leaned back in his own chair.
Helga looked up, but it was a mistake to do so, since she met the disapproving look of Gerald before he shook his head silently and then smirked at her. She seethed.
"I-I mean..I changed my mind. I had to go register for the stupid audition." Her arms crossed firmly over her chest, and she leaned back, tilting her chair as she did so and balancing with the bottom of her sneaker on the edge of the table.
"Really?" Arnold asked brightly, her quick relapse now forgotten. She inwardly swooned a little at his obvious excitement, but her outward expression never changed.
"Looks like it, Football head."
His expression, which had been sullen, now brightened considerably, and he grinned broadly.
"That's great. I'm glad you changed your mind." But having known the girl all too well, he could see that something was amiss, perhaps this change didn't come so naturally for her. "But if you changed it, why do you seem so miserable about it?"
"Because I don't have a choice" She muttered under her breath so no one could hear.
"What was that?" Arnold had asked, leaning forward a little so he could hear her better. She shot him a look.
"Olga."
Before anymore could be said on the matter, they all looked up at the excited voice that was now currently calling Helga's name.
"Lila." Helga hissed in an obviously agitated greeting. As always the irritated gesture was lost on the otherwise cheerful girl. The rest of them exchanged greetings, and once that was done, Lila stood besides Helga, holding the script out for her.
"I saw your name on the registration list! I'm ever so happy you decided to audition after all! It's going to make your sister oh so happy. And we can go together!"
"Oh you're auditioning too Lila?" Arnold asked with genuine interest. It made Helga growl to herself, a fact not lost to Gerald and Phoebe, but definitely lost to Arnold.
She turned to him, with that usual smile across her innocent face. Hands clutching at the script they received at the registration; Helga refused to take it.
"Yes indeed. Helga's sister wrote an oh so enchanting story about two sisters, and the music is absolutely beautiful. I can't wait to audition. That's why I came to see you Helga, actually..' She turned to face her once again, but Helga wouldn't meet her eyes, her scowl now deepened and more prominent as she stared off into the distance to nothing in particular. "Can we go somewhere to talk? Somewhere a little more—"She looked to the others who looked back at her confused 'private?"
Helga didn't even look up, nor did she answer for a moment, until she snickered and shook her head"
"No way. Whatever you want to say, you can say it in front of these losers."
Arnold didn't agree with Helga's sentiment, not that he usually did when she was nasty like that. But he was silently grateful she felt like that. To be honest he was worried that she wasn't going to show up, and that fear remained at the prospect of her leaving lunch early.
These thoughts irked him a little, but he didn't fight it. He just wished it would be easy to tell her exactly how he felt..
Returning to the present, he glanced to Lila who had a rare look of annoyance on her face, but pulling up a chair from another table; she squeezed herself between Arnold and Helga and held the script out in front of her.
"Fine. You know Helga, you really upset Olga when you ran out the other night." Was how she started. The other three inwardly winced; knowing full well that to approach anything by starting off with what Helga did wrong was definitely the wrong way to go.
"Whoopdee doo"
"No really, Helga she poured her heart into this when she was gone. She said you were her inspiration. She misses the times that you used to share together back when you were young.."
Helga started at that, and actually looked up. Yes, she could remember a time when things where nice between them, but that were a long time ago, and she was a toddler, not the overbearing angry adolescent she was now.
Reaching out, she snatched the script from Lila, and skimmed over the front page, which had a synopsis of the story. Clicking her tongue, she rolled her eyes and tossed it back to the table.
"So it's about a basket case that can't take living in civilization because of panic attacks induced by her powers, so she runs off to live as a hermit on a snowy mountain. Gee Lila; it's nice to know how my sister has such a high opinion of me." Helga sighed and refolded her arms.
Defeated for the moment, Lila looked to the others for any sort of advice on how to handle her. But her pleas were met with shrugs from the others.
Sighing, she gathered the papers and stood up.
"You know Helga, it's no secret anymore how you like to read and write. I'm sure if you gave it a chance you'd actually enjoy it."
Unmoving, her bored expression unchanged, Helga shrugged.
"Well everyone's getting what they want. Helga 's going on stage to dance around like Olga's puppet. So now they can all seriously piss off." She had hoped greatly that Lila finally took the hint. She did, with a slightly hurt look on her face.
"I'll see you later, everyone.." She muttered a sad but polite goodbye, temporarily defeated by the tougher girl's attitude. The others returned her sad sentiment, and despite his growing affections for the girl, Arnold couldn't help but shoot her a chastising look.
"You didn't have to be so rude to her, Helga.." He pointed out, unflinching when she met his look with that usual scowl.
"Oh spare me the goody two shoes act now, football head. I already told you how I feel about this whole thing. It's like no one gives a crap about what I want. Maybe I'll just go up there and audition so terrible on purpose so she can't give me a part."
To this Gerald coughed, loudly, an obviously threatening gesture at Helga's suggestion. But this only earned him a look as well.
"Not that I'm going to. If I have to go up there, then I'll go up there and kill all the competition, show everyone how much they suck compared to me."
"Then do that, and quit complaining about it" Arnold challenged. The two had a bit of a stare down, before Helga slammed her fist on the table and stood up.
"I will, Arnoldo. If for no other reason than to shut up you, and you, and Lila, and my crazy bitch of a sister. So you'll all finally just get off my back!" She seemed so distressed that Arnold instantly felt bad for making those comments, even if she was rude to Lila. This whole thing seemed to really be stressing her out. But he was confused..If she genuinely didn't want to do it, she didn't have to. If Olga was really going to make her this upset about it, it couldn't have been any fun for her, even if she had wanted to do it in the first place.
But she had a choice, he was sure, and if she chose to do it, she chose to do it. Right?
He didn't have time to ask her about it, as she was already on her way stomping out of the cafeteria by then. Arnold looked after her with a heavier heart.
"So that's why you're going through with it? Because Gerald has your locket?" Phoebe asked incredulously. He had told her about the locket before, but he conveniently left out the part where he was using it to make Helga audition against her will.
Helga sighed and leaned her head back as the two walked home from school.
"That's right. If he had just stumbled upon me monologuing about my love for Arnold I could always deny it. But he now holds the undeniable proof in his hands. So I'm kind of at the mercy of Tall Hair boy." She explained the story nonchalantly, but Phoebe could see it was just because she was so tired from stressing over it, that she seemed to lose any emotion attached to it. She felt a tug at her heart for her friend.
"Well perhaps this is a good time to just confess to Arnold finally, that way it doesn't matter what Gerald has over you..And you wouldn't have to perform if you really didn't want to." Phoebe pointed out.
"Oooor you could punch your boyfriend in the face for me, and get me back my locket. There's another idea."
Phoebe's lips tightened in a straight line. She didn't want to necessarily agree with her boyfriend's methods, but he had actually explained himself so well it was hard for her to debate it. Nevertheless, he using the locket against her friend was definitely wrong.
"If the opportunity presents itself, then I will attempt to steal it back.."
Helga made a grunt of half approval, knowing that Phoebe, unlike her, wasn't about to resort to any sort of crazy schemes to steal it back. Phoebe's mother wouldn't let her sleep over at Gerald's house given their young age, and Helga knew breaking and entering was out of the question for Phoebe.
She had pondered It herself, but after years of breaking into Arnold's she really only knew his floor plan. She figured it would be too much of an endeavor to learn the venting system of Gerald's house. Tch..
Then a familiar voice called out to them, and Helga gritted her teeth. "Speak of the devil and he shall appear"
"Haha, Funny Pataki." Stated Gerald, coolly as he jogged up to the two. He hugged Phoebe from behind and rested his chin atop her head. She had giggled at the affection. Helga rolled her eyes. "And what're you lovely ladies up to this afternoon." He snickered.
"Oh well, if you're really interested, I was just filling in your girlfriend here about how you're intent on ruining my life."
It was Gerald's turn to roll his eyes, and he released his grip on Phoebe who stepped to the side.
"Over dramatic as always. You are perfect for the drama club." He then folded his arms across his chest lazily, and cast a glance out of the corner of his eye. "Look Helga, Just go tell him. What's the worst that could happen? "
Helga blinked, taking a stance in front of him with her own arms across her chest.
"Why are you so eager anyway, Geraldo. I always figured you hated me."
Another look to Phoebe, and she actually couldn't help but giggle a little. He smirked.
"Well I'll be honest; I have my—concerns..If you would. But the truth is Pataki, you're alright. You've always been alright. And in hindsight, everything is kinda obvious now."
Helga felt the heat cross her face, and her arms dropped.
"W-what do you mean?" She snapped, slightly defensive, although the creak in her voice was evident. Gerald regarded her with interest and shrugged.
"The little things all throughout our younger years. I mean—you always seemed to show up wherever we were..So that should've been indication. But then there were the few nice things you did..He didn't have to tell me about FTi. I eventually figured out that you were Deep Voice." He snickered at that, even more when her face grew even redder. "I wondered for days why you just happened to be at the building in the middle of the night…and then it just clicked. I asked Arnold about it, but he wouldn't admit it, wanting to keep your secret. But I remembered the way his face turned red and he started stuttering.." His snicker turned into a chuckle.
Helga scowled, and held up a finger, about to retort when Gerald held up his hand.
"But the biggest so far, at least that I'm aware of was that one Christmas…" He didn't need to say anymore since her eyes had widened, scowl now dropped. But he continued anyway. "We would never have known if Arnold didn't go down to the office to thank , and I went with him. He told him it wasn't Arnold that convinced him, but his little friend with the pink bow and the one eyebrow.." He held up his index and middle finger and bent them in the universal sign to quote. " because she somehow magically produced the last pair of Nancy Spumoni snow boots in the entire city for his daughter, along with her heartfelt plea about miracles or some jazz.." He chuckled a little, obviously fond of the memory. "Now since we didn't know any other girl's that wore a pink bow and had one eyebrow at the time..it was kinda obvious then.."
Helga was too stunned at first, as was Phoebe, who had never heard that story from her..
"Helga..You really did that? After your rant about how Christmas was just about getting?" Phoebe questioned with a certain level of adoring awe in her voice.
"I-" Helga blinked, looking for some way to deflect that. But she couldn't. She had done all that, but she figured she was safe in the sense that they would never, ever know..
"Mm mm mm. To be honest, I've never seen a more touching thing in my life. You made a bunch of people happy that day, Helga. You helped Arnold bring together a man and his daughter after twenty years. And you gave Arnold the one thing he wanted that Christmas; which was to reunite with his daughter..Hah. I kinda wish you could've heard the way he rambled on and on about you after he found out…For days.."
"He was happy..?" She asked, seemingly breathless, and also still a little stunned. Gerald chuckled, and arched a brow.
"Understatement of the year."
Helga blinked, recalling a particular fond memory after that time, when they all went back to school after the holiday break. Arnold had come up to her after classes and just…hugged her. Out of nowhere. She didn't even link the two events. When she yelled at him about it, he had told her he was just showing his friends how much he appreciated them...
As if reading her thoughts, Gerald continued.
"As always, he knew you wanted your secrecy. So he never approached you about it. But he would say again and again how he wanted to repay you for that."
"D-Do you think he likes me..?" Helga's lips were moving on their own it seemed. It was like she had no control over her reactions anymore. The story recounted a series of emotions that she had long since covered, much like she did with all her good deeds.
To this question Gerald shrugged, still unwilling to give up Arnold's admittance just yet. He looked off to the side.
"I really don't know. But you are a cool chick, underneath that gruff, one eyebrowed exterior. If I were you..I would chance it. From the looks of it, and this locket, it looks like you've been hanging on to this secret and all your secrets for some time. Wouldn't it at least feel better to finally just let it all go?"
Besides him, Phoebe nodded eagerly, touched both by the best friend that she was always so fond of, and by the story she never knew, and also by Gerald's friendliness towards her. She looked to Helga, anxious to hear her response.
"I-I.." She started, but suddenly found a spot on the ground more interesting than his eyes. "It's more complicated than that, Geraldo.." Her breath finally found, and she sighed lightly. He didn't know the whole thing about FTi, he hadn't mentioned how she had confessed her love once already, and Arnold practically ran away, and she wasn't about to tell Gerald that story.
Gerald looked defeated and inwardly concluded that this must be what everyone felt when dealing with Helga G. Pataki. He glanced to Phoebe beseechingly, but she only offered a small, comforting smile.
"Well. It's just food for thought. But don't forget our agreement. You'll get the locket back after the play. Unless you actually get the guts to 'fess up"
She scowled at that, but he was already on his way out.
"I'll catch you girls around. Pheebs. I'll call you later" He blew her a kiss, and she smiled and waved.
When he was completely out of sight, Helga sighed and buried her face in her hands. Phoebe regarded her with concern.
"Perhaps Gerald is right, Helga. How could Arnold not like you after all that you've done for him.."
But she quieted quickly when Helga shot her a scowl.
"You know damn well why. I told him already Phoebe, and he made it very clear how he feels."
"But..You two were nine..Things can change.."
"Shut up, Phoebe. I don't want to hear about it anymore. I will never, ever tell him how I feel. Understand?"
Phoebe sighed, and then started in the direction of their homes with Helga close behind. She muttered a very weak, and unconvincingly subservient: "Understanding." But said nothing more
When Helga stepped inside, she was greeted by the joyous sounds of the piano emanating from the living room. As much as Olga irked her, she could never deny her older sister's talent. Plus the song was kind of catchy.
She found herself wandering into the living room, completely and utterly stressed and drained, she was drawn in by the music, which was so pleasant and soothing, she couldn't help but forget her worries for the moment.. and when she saw Olga sitting there, happily playing away, she found herself transfixed by the song which she sang.
"Let it go, Let it go. Can't hold it back anymore. Let it go, Let it go. Turn away and slam the door.."
Helga stood in the doorway of the living room silent, suddenly eager to hear more.
"I don't care what they're going to say. Let the storm rage on. The cold never bothered me anyway.."
"Heh" Helga blinked, suddenly extremely interested in the song. It was catchy, and the music enchanting. It drew her in, much like the old days, she thought to herself, albeit sadly.
The piano stopped abruptly when Olga felt the eyes at her back, and glancing over her shoulder, she beamed brightly at the sight.
"Helga!" She outstretched her arm, indicating her desire for Helga to come join her.
For the second time that day, Helga felt her limbs start to move on their own accord, and she slowly stalked her way over to Olga and the piano which she had avoided for a decade.
Sitting down besides her, she stared at the keys and Olga's one hand that was still poised over them.
Taking the sheet music in her hand, Helga skimmed the title. Let It Go. And all at once the memory of Gerald's words haunted her.
"Wouldn't it feel better to just—let it all go?"
Olga watched her studying the music, and she smiled brightly before reaching out gently to take it from her. She placed it back onto the stand of the piano.
"Here, let me teach you the song…"
And for the first time in ten years, whether she was so emotionally drained from the events of the last few days, coupled with that never fading obsession for her love, and the distress at missing her locket or if she genuinely was interested in repairing her and her sister's broken bond, she actually welcomed the music, and Olga's desire to sing with her once again like when she was a baby.
At least for that evening, the Pataki house was filled with music once again.
UP NEXT: The unwilling audition. As always feedback is much appreciated ^^