the last part of this is M rated.
just to warn you if you don't like that stuff.

Your eyes, they shine so bright
I wanna save that light
I can't escape this now
Unless you show me how

.

"Hey"

"Hi…what are you doing here?" Brian opened the door wide to let her in

"You have a doctor's appointment"

"Liv, I'm going to wank into a cup, it's not a two person job" He smirked

Olivia turned to him with a glare "Do you have to be so crude?"

"You used to like when I was crude" He grinned

Olivia smirked in his direction, shrugging off her jacket and throwing it onto the breakfast bar. She waltzed back over and stood in front of him, her arms around his waist. She tilted her head slightly and gazed up at him, his tired eyes, the three day stubble on his face, she could see he wasn't himself, he was going through hell inside and all she wanted to do was at least try and make him feel even a little bit better.

"You didn't sleep last night…" She stated quietly, her left hand reaching to cup his cheek, her thumb gently tracing the dark skin just under his eye.

"I don't sleep any night" He chuckled, kissing her forehead.

"Bri…" She groaned "Do I have to move in here to make sure you actually sleep?" She questioned "Because you know I will"

"Detective Benson…" He grinned "If you wanted to live with me all you have to do is ask"

"Maybe I should…"

Brian chuckled and shook his head, making his way into the kitchen to start some coffee; he knew Olivia was being serious. She had stayed over the night after his last doctor's appointment three days ago and he forced her to stay at her own place after that, not wanting to impose on her life. She continued to work as normal, calling him every moment she could to check up on him and make sure he was feeling okay; it was her way of letting him know she was there, whenever he needed anything.

"Liv…"

"Look, you're gonna be feeling like hell after the chemo, the doctor said so and maybe if I stayed here then it would be easier to take care of you…"

"I don't want you to take care of me! I can look after myself!"

"Look, you stubborn son of a bitch…" She growled as she stood face to face with him, toe to toe in the middle of his kitchen "I am not going anywhere. You hear me? I am not leaving you to go through this alone. I cannot imagine what is going through your head right now, what you're feeling, what you're thinking, your fears, your anxieties, honestly, I have no clue. But I am not leaving you deal with all of that plus your treatments alone. So you can accept that I am here, for anything and everything you need or you can fight me every day about it and lose."

She grabbed a hold of his hands "I'm not letting you do this alone."

.

"What did you tell Cragen?" He asked as they sat on his couch, he lay on his back, his head in her lap at her insistence, hoping he could nap a little bit before his appointment.

"He knows I'm with you…" She replied softly, her fingers gently running through his thick dark hair, carefully massaging his scalp.

"With me?"

"Yes, with you" She admitted "I told him the truth about us, he said whenever you need me I just have to let him know and he'll try and work something out. Today's a slow day, Munch and Fin are catching, El and I were stuck doing paperwork and he let me leave early…"

Brian glanced at the clock on the DVD player in the corner of the room which showed it was a little after one. A little too early he thought to himself "Look, I don't want you skipping out on work just to check up on me, if this puts your career in jeopardy…"

"Are you kidding me? Cassidy, shut up. Cragen is worried as hell about you, everyone is. He's just glad you have me looking out for you, he was worried you'd try and go through this alone." She gently grabbed his hair and chuckled "Stop worrying about everyone else, you need to focus on you now."

"Sorry, it's just hard…"

"I know; I know it is but please, just let us worry now okay? You have to focus on getting better…" Olivia pleaded, her fingers softly running across the stubble that coated his chin and cheeks and then carefully over his lips. She grinned when he pursed his lips and kissed the tip of her finger.

"So this is it…you and me?" He asked, gazing up at her with his sparkling hazel eyes.

"Against the world babe"

.

"You ready to go?" Olivia asked

She watched him from her perch as she sat on the kitchen counter. He hesitantly made his way from his bedroom, freshly dressed after a hot shower, his jeans perfectly fitted around his solid hips, grey t-shirt hung over his chiselled chest. He just nodded solemnly and walked over to her, his hands running up her thighs and around her waist.

"As I'll ever be"

"It's okay, this one isn't gonna be so bad" She smiled, her arms resting around his neck.

"Yep, blood work and then I get to do it in a cup" He scoffed with a grin

"It'll be worth it" She whispered, she knew she was the reason he was doing this. Freezing his sperm was something he had decided against in the beginning, he had convinced himself that death was imminent and he didn't want to have a child and not see it grow up. She had been the one to convince him to talk about it, talk about his hopes for the future and give him something to focus on for when he got better. He had been adamant against it, until she questioned what would happen when he did get better, when he finally had that chance to have a child of his own and he couldn't.

"Thank you" He told her quietly "For convincing me that this is the right thing"

"It's your decision, Bri. You don't have to…"

"I know, but if I do get better…"

"When" She sternly interrupted, hating when he constantly thought of the negative.

"When I get better…" He repeated and rolled his eyes and smiled "Then we've got an option"

"You want kids with me?" She smiled against his shoulder, her cheeks burning red.

"Well, I wouldn't want them with anyone else"

.

"That was fast…" Olivia smirked as she closed the magazine she was reading while waiting for him to finish his 'business'

"Of course it was, I thought of you the whole time" He grinned and winked at her, not caring who in the waiting room heard him.

Olivia felt her cheeks burning red as she stood to meet him with a kiss "You seriously need to stop talking like that"

"Why, you like it?" He smirked, quickly kissing her neck.

"You know I do" She smirked back, walking ahead of him as they left the building, her hips swaying a little extra just for him. She felt a ray of happiness filter through her at the sight and sound of his laughter, for the first time since his diagnosis he looked happy, even if it was just for a moment

"Hey…" He chased after her and grabbed her hand, spinning her around in the middle of the busy street "Come out with me tonight…"

"What?"

"To dinner, come out with me…"

"Like a date?" Olivia grinned

"Yeah, like a date" He shrugged his shoulders, taking a hold of her hands and bringing them to his mouth, softly kissing her knuckles.

"Look, this isn't gonna be easy on either of us." He stated "You've made it pretty obvious that you're not leaving and you're gonna help me through this and I don't know how to thank you…"

"Just get better, that's all the thanks I need"

"We both know it's not that simple" Brian sighed, pulling her body close to his

"Come Monday, we're gonna be stepping through the gates of hell and on one of our three last nights of freedom I wanna take the most beautiful girl in the world out on a date…" He smiled wide "What do ya say?"

"Yes" Olivia grinned and replied without any hesitation. She pressed her lips to his, sighing as he slipped his hands into her hair, deepening the kiss a little before some passing teenagers decided to start whistling and hollering in their direction, inadvertently reminding them they were standing in the middle of the street.

"So, I'm gonna drop you off at home, you relax, take your time to get ready and I'll get you at seven thirty?"

"Sure, what should I wear?" She asked as they made their way towards his car

"Whatever you want"

"Yeah but how fancy are we talking here?" She turned to him as they sat in the car, her eyes wide with excitement

"Well, I'm not taking you to McDonalds if that's what you wondering"

.

Olivia paced around her bedroom in her underwear, chosen especially for him of course as she tried to figure out what the hell she was going to wear on this date Brian was taking her on. Sure they had been out together before but that was just drinks and sex. This was different.

This was an actual date.

She pulled dresses and skirts and fancy tops out of her closet. Blues and reds and blacks flying everywhere as she threw her outfits onto the bed, holding each one up and checking herself in the mirror before huffing and throwing it away. She reached over and grabbed a red dress she had bought months ago and never had the chance to wear, she slipped it on over her lacy underwear and stood in front of the mirror and smiled, this was the one.

It was fitted, hugging her every curve, stopping just above the knee flashing just a teasing amount of thigh and cut into a v neck at her chest showing a classy amount of cleavage and scooped low at her back.

She shouted for him to come in when she heard the knock at the door, double checking her look in the mirror, admiring her dark smoky make-up and her wavy hair pinned low at her neck, a few curls falling around her face. She grabbed her nude heels and black leather jacket and met Brian in the living room.

"Holy….wow"

"Oh close your mouth, you'll catch flies" She laughed as she pulled her heels on.

"No seriously Liv, you look…" He chuckled and held his hands out, completely lost for words.

"Thank you, you look good" She smiled, taking in the sight of him in a suit. "Really good" She leaned forward and kissed him, her eyes pulling away for a second when she noticed a bunch of flowers sitting on the counter.

"Are those for me?" She gave him a surprised look unable to think of the last time a man bought her flowers.

"Yeah, I didn't know what you liked so I just…"

"I love them Brian" She exclaimed "Thank you!" She picked up the bouquet of red and white lilies "They're beautiful…"

After putting the flowers in water she marched back over to where Brian stood and pulled him in for a kiss, smiling when her wrapped his arms tight around her body. "Thank you"

"You're welcome"

"How are you feeling?" She asked as she pulled her leather jacket over her shoulders

"Fine"

"Bri…"

"Please Liv, can we not talk about it tonight, please." He held his hand out for hers, pulling her close once more. "Let's just forget about it, just for a little while."

.

"Thank you for tonight…" Olivia whispered quietly in the back of the cab, leaning into Brian as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders "I had a lot of fun"

"Me too" He grinned "You're a great dancer"

"I can't believe I got you to dance with me" She laughed, her hand resting on his thigh.

Brian took a deep breath and kissed her head, unable to believe how incredible this woman in his arms really was. "I'd do anything for you, Liv"

They rode the rest of the cab ride in almost silence, both promising to not mention Brian's illness tonight, not wanting to ruin the evening but when it was quiet, it was all they could think about. As they pulled up at Brian's apartment, he quickly paid the driver and held Olivia's hand as the entered his building. In the elevator he stood against the back wall and pulled her to him, her back resting against his chest, he wrapped his arms around her hips and rested his chin on her shoulder.

"You really do look beautiful tonight, Liv"

She grinned and reached up behind her to touch his cheek "Thank you, you look very handsome"

.

"Oh god…" Olivia threw her head back against the wall; Brian's rough hands ran under her dress softly teasing her sensitive skin. He pushed her dress up and grabbed the back of her thighs and lifted her up against the wall, her legs wrapping around his waist.

She pulled at his shirt, grabbing him by the collar, pulling his mouth to hers teasing his tongue with her own. She moaned as he pushed his hips into hers, his length pressing against her lace covered centre.

Brian grinned and placed her feet back on the floor, his hands reaching to lace into the strands of hair that fell from its up-do. She gripped his waist, pulling his body flush against hers, their lips tangled together in a mesh of lust and heartache.

He slowly started walking towards the bedroom, blindly guiding Olivia as she stumbled backwards in her high heels, her dress still bunched around her thighs.

"I could kiss you all day" She muttered against his mouth

"Hmm, please do"

"Okay" Her hands grabbed his neck as she pushed her tongue back into his mouth, moaning as his hands slid down her body and grabbed her ass, lifting her onto the bed.

"You make this dress so sexy but it really has to come off now"

"Hmm…I agree" Olivia sat up and pulled him onto the bed, flipping him over so he lay flat on his back and she straddled his hips. She grinned and pulled the straps down, teasing him as she ran her hands over her chest all the while pulling the fitted red material down her tanned, slender body.

She slipped back and stood on the floor, swaying her hips slightly as the red material fell from her frame leaving her standing in front of him in her lacy black underwear and nude heels.

"Oh Jesus…" Brian groaned as he sat up, pulling his own shirt from his body and throwing it to the floor beside her dress.

.

"Baby, oh god yes…" Olivia moaned as her body betrayed her and arched hard off the bed, her hands gripping onto the sheets practically tearing them from the mattress.

Brian grinned, lifting his head only for a second to watch her tumble over the edge, her mouth wide open as she groaned his name over and over again like a mantra. Her gorgeous body glistening as she shook through her second orgasm of the night. If this was the last time they could ever be like this, he was going to treat her right.

His fingers kept moving inside her as he climbed back up her trembling body. He leaned over her and grinned as she opened her eyes wide as another orgasm hit her with force

"Fucking hell! Oh god, oh…." Her nails tore at his skin as her juices dripped from her centre onto his hand.

"Come on baby, that's so sexy…" Brian growled in her ear, his lips moving south to gently bite the soft skin of her neck.

He moaned as her orgasm faded, she slipped her hand to his still sensitive length; he was ready to explode again after she already gave him the greatest blow job of his life. He backed his hips away as she wrapped her hand around him.

"You do that baby and this is all gonna be over very soon"

"I don't care, I just want you" She replied honestly, her hands running through his hair and pulling his lips back to hers.

.

Brian groaned as Olivia screamed out loud as she reached her peak once more, his hips thrusting hard against hers, her body bucked under him as her legs trembled hard around his waist. He grabbed her hands and laced their fingers together, lifting them up over her head as he pushed hard against her and felt his own release being pulled from his body. They lay moaning and lazily thrusting against each other, their lips meeting in a passionate battle.

He released her hands when he felt her struggle against him, he pulled back fearing he'd hurt her in some way or overstepped his bounds but fell back onto her when she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled his naked body flush against hers chest to chest. He lay with his weight on his elbows at either side of her head.

He shook his head when he gazed at her and noticed the tears shining like diamonds in her eyes. He pressed his lips to hers, capturing her bottom lip with his teeth and gently pulling before getting lost with her once more and in a passionate wonderland.

"This is it, Bri…"

"You and me baby…" He replied, kissing her forehead.

She whispered against his soft skin "Against the world…"

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lyrics: demons - imagine dragons

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