I tried to find free Internet Workbook but… it's rather… this: :/

So Mistress, hopefully it isn't such a bother to help me with the German words. It really is nice "talking" to you and I do love to read your reviews. :D

And now… it's Dirk's turn!

Dirk is indeed seen as more mature than Dave but he is indeed a smoker. And in Convictstuck OOC answers did hint a little that Dirk is both a charmer and seems a bit… introverted about doing much hinted… quixotic acts. :3

Con IV

Daily "Exploring"

Dirk sighs in relief as therapy time is over.

It really is a wasteful time to actually think and believe that someone could actually "cure" him.

He needs a cigarette. He needs to find that brother of his and get a stick or two. Unfortunately for Dirk, he can't get his own cigarettes due to certain… events.

But Dirk knows that he can't go immediately to Dave as it will cause suspicions and Dave seems to be pretty focused and busy with that new cellmate of his. Sure, the guy looks cute, has quite a nice ass, and is actually polite and shit but he'll definitely be a liability with escaping.

Perhaps Dirk has to wait a little for Dave to fuck him senseless and be bored of his cellmate.

"Dirk! Is that you…?" Well, speaking of cellmates…

"Sup, Jake." Dirk greets. Jake is another story, he is full-in-full an asset to the escape and part of the Strider assassination gang. Plus, even if it's in a weird kind of way, Jake's cute.

However, Dirk frowns as he smells the very familiar scent of blood. There's the smell and then there's the obvious visual that Jake has blood on his hands. Hopefully he just beat the shit of the supposedly "new" therapist he has or had. Jake really shouldn't harm himself…

"Jake, didn't I tell you that you shouldn't bite your fingers off during shitty therapy time."

"Language, Dirk…" Jake giggles. "And do not worry, silly. I was protecting her from the rat…"

"Her?"

"Jade…" Jake immediately answers but then looks up and chuckles. "And John…"

Okay, ironically, Dirk is now suspicious of Jake. Dirk never was suspicious about Jake, even though he isn't in a stable of mind.

"John? You mean the dude who killed his father and is Dave's cellmate?"

Jake giggles and nods.

"He's innocent…"

"Innocent?"

"He's pure."

Jake just giggles again. Dirk had learned a few things about Jake, one is that he doesn't want to get laid and that those that Jake calls "pure" in Jake's good side. Observation is always needed with almost anything. Bro, AKA their actual guardian and trainer, had told him and Dave this. It helps.

"So… are you going to see your little brother, Dirk…?"

"Not really. He's most likely fu–hanging out with that new cellmate of his."

Dirk has to make sure he doesn't say anything that will make Jake go all berserk on his twin brother. Dave may be an annoying dummkopf but Dave is indeed his twin brother and partner in crime. And Dave is an asset to the whole escape plan.

"Well old bean, that's quite kind of that brother of yours…" Jake cutely giggles. "I hope they have a ripsnorting time!"

Dirk can't help but snort. That "ripsnorting time" is most likely Dave fucking that nice ass of his. But then again, Dave has more class and won't exactly rape him.

"But then again, John is all tuckered up since he got the rat's blood on that cheek of his…"

"Tuckered up?"

"Yes, he went out quick like Christ on grilled cheese…" Jake cutely giggles again. "He's in the infirmary to take a good ol' nap."

Dirk really hopes that the cellmate is okay since Dave may be a dick but being brother and partner and shit like that, Dirk has to be concerned of his rather bare sex and/or love life, especially it had been some time since he last been interested with someone. Dave usually becomes way too possessive with the person that he lust for and always ends the relationship harshly so he wouldn't get too attached or because he had to leave for a mission he can't refuse.

"So Jake, got anything you want to do? I have time after my daily exploring."

Jake smiles, almost patting Dirk with a bloodied hand. But since Dirk doesn't want unneeded therapist blood on him, he does a quick step back. Dirk may think Jake is cute but there are some things, like unnecessary blood on him, he can't do to Dirk.

"Why, I just believe I do need a nap, too… Yes… A nap seems necessary for this old melon of mine… I'll be on the top as always, of course…"

Dirk nods. He knows that Jake has always slept or the top bunk and gotten almost sucker punched when he tried to help Jake with a very bad nightmare. And naps do make Jake more… stable.

"Make sure you wash your hands, mein Freund."

Jake smiles and nods. The smile rather looks a bit saner than the rest of his cute smile.

"I will, you silly nilly willy."

Okay, Dirk can't help but let out just a small chuckle at that. Jake seems to always lighten Dirk's mood with weird words he say.

"Well then, I'll see you again in the cell…" Jake frowns and seems to struggle at something. But before Dirk could possibly help or anything, Jake smiles again and does a wet snap with his bloody fingers. "Freund! Yes… that's it… I'll see you again, freund…"

Dirk waves and maybe even smiles at his cellmate.

Again, in a weird way, Jake is indeed cute.

"Look Thrider, the thythtem ith harder than it lookth. I'll thay it again, I got lucky, being outthide of prithon and thit, to be athigned ath a guard than join you guyth."

Sollux is a lanky Asian who was supposed to be a prisoner like the rest since he is a master hacker who tried to sell drugs and steal plenty of money under the "name of the government". Dirk and Dave know him a bit personally.

Dirk killed the man who fucked up his older brother, Mituna. Dave had a "two"-night stand with him.

He's just a dichromatic bipolar guy they are acquaintance of.

"Is there any way you could hack the system in the control system?"

Sollux gives a rather sour look. "Eathier thaid than done."

Dirk nods, he understands that with a high security prison, it has to actually how high security. There were barely any blind spots except the typical corners that are most likely used to have the raping and the fucking. There are too many guards that are somehow committed to their work. There are security cameras that are almost well-positioned through and through. There are too many wires, secured entrances, secured exits, and fuck load of locks and annoying convicts who will mess everything the fuck up.

In summary, there are too many things that will stop their great escape from being a success.

"Tho, how'th Dave? Did he finally get a new cellmate? And a good one?"

Dirk can't help but smirk. "Yeah, he got a new one."

"And?"

"That dummkopf is already lusting over that arsch."

Sollux smirks back. "Finally, he'th taking interetht. The prick needth to get laid more often. Then again…"

"Halt den Mund."

Sollux raises an eyebrow in amusement. His dichromatic eyes are boring on the rather flustered Dirk. So what if Dirk hasn't had sex since he got in this shithole. Pretty much all the convicts here are unattractive and are unworthy for the body of a damn fine Strider.

Bro taught them that only worthy men and/or women will have a Strider's dick and/or ass. Even though Bro had a weird ass fetish for older men…

"Thtill going for the–"

"Yes, now shut the hell up."

"You do know that Englith doethn't want any thex ever thince the previouth thellmate and altho, he keepth thinking about that late niethe of hith."

"He's cute."

"Yeah, yeah, you told me. He'th cute in a weird kind of way, I know."

"So hurry up and hack, you still owe us."

Sollux's face then sours. Sure, he paid fully to murder the fucker but Sollux actually tried to rob money from the Striders to pay medical bills for Mituna and a new and another computer for him. Thus fully explaining why Sollux had a "two"-night stand with Dave… which equals Sollux owing a fuck ton of money to the Striders, more than twice what the mission was.

"Fuck you, Thtrider."

"Sorry but my ass is reserved for non-bipolar douchebags."

Sollux flips Dirk off and walks away, grumbling curses.

Arschloch…

"W-What do w-want, Strider?"

Dirk seriously doesn't want to talk to Eridan but in one way or another, he somehow has valuable information for some reason. He is also one of the easiest people to manipulate.

"You know what I want, Ampora."

"Look, Strider, I don't know-w w-what you're talkin' about. And cod off, I havve business to take care of."

"And you have information that I want, Ampora."

Eridan takes a step back, easily revealing that he indeed has information. So, Dirk glares down and takes a commanding step toward the fishy bastard. Bro taught him to be intimidating naturally and how to use it well.

And just like always, it's a hook, line, and sinker. Or whatever the fuck means that Dirk got his victim right where he wants him…

"Well? I'm already losing patience, Ampora. Do you want English to know what you said about his darling niece?"

"You w-wouldn't dare!"

"I am and I will, as it said and goes. Now, Ampora… tell the information."

Eridan makes a barely audible gulp. English had beaten up one of his best goon and almost killed the goon and go after Ampora. English somehow got a plastic knife, a surprisingly sharp one, and jabs it near to the goon's throat. It took a few or some guards to hold him down, even with Tasers.

Of course, Dirk stayed with Jake in the infirmary after that incident. Dirk nodded at every positive comment that Jake made about "defending" Dirk. And Dirk patted his back and tried his best to sooth Jake at every negative comment of how he failed to end someone once again.

Jake ended up sleeping and drooling on his shoulder…

"Alright, alright! I don't w-want that psycho anyw-where near me!"

"Speak."

"Of course, of course, I get it!" Eridan speaks with his hands up in surrender. "It's just some facts about the fresh fish, that's all."

"Like?"

"W-Well, he's supposed to be some heir of some bakery company. From w-what I heard, he had plenty of money."

"And?"

"No records of other crimes…"

"And?"

"He's an Aries! Second degree of murder! W-What the hell do you w-want to know-w!"

Dirk stares down at Eridan, who's actually trying to put up a "strong" front. From what he heard, ever since a chainsaw incident that nearly got Eridan killed, Ampora is now only half the confident asshole he was.

It looks like that's all Eridan knows… for now…

So, Dirk immediately walks away from Ampora who's most likely confused as fuck.

Why?

Because Dirk is a Strider and Bro taught confusion fuels fear and looks completely badass doing so.

Well, there's that as well as Dirk just can.

"For fuck's sake bro, stop ogling at the guy! He looks like some guy in a coma that we once killed."

"Hey, you get your ogle with that psycho of yours; I'm going to get my ogle with this cutie. You have your and now I have mine, bro."

Dirk groans, actually putting a hand on his face. Dave just has to stare at his cellmate who's pretty much unconscious, like some precious and valuable gem or whatever that's ironic. Dirk really hopes Dave just fucks the new cellmate and be bored with him already…

"And seriously, dude looks like he's sleeping and that's fine. I know you do the same with the psycho. And hey, at least John doesn't drool like some pit-bull and looks quite cute as he is right now unlike Jake. Seriously, Jake looks like he'll strangle anyone that goes near him."

"That's because he does."

"Know that from experience?" Dave smirks.

Dirk immediately smacks Dave behind the head. He knows what Dave is going on. Dave actually believes that Dirk will actually fuck Jake. There are two problems.

Erstens, Jake is obviously not a sane person and who still affected about his niece's death.

Und Zweitens, there's no way in hell that Jake will let Dirk fuck him and Dirk just likes him as a cute partner in crime. That is all.

"So, do you have my Zigaretten?"

Dave immediately pulls out a box of cigarettes, the good ones it seems.

"Lighter?"

Dave shrugs his shoulders. He's still staring at John.

"Arschloch."

Dave seriously needs to get laid. Dave had been laughing like an excited mad man with their failed escape. Then again, they should have been more patience by staying there more than just a week. Since really, they actually got caught with one of their missions. Murderers are suspicious and of course they would go high about when the Striders drove off on that car…

And Dirk seriously needs a new lighter… the one he has now barely makes a light.

"Mm…" Huh, it looks like Johnny boy is waking up. Of course, due to his over the damn line of lust, Dave just leans way too near to his cellmate. It almost looks like a weird ass yet ironic cliché fairy tale, where the "prince" leaning down to kiss a dumb sleeping princess. "W-What happen…?"

John blinks a little and rubs his eyes a little. Dirk has got to admit… John is indeed cute, especially cute enough to fuck in the ass.

But when Dirk would actually fuck the blue-eyed cutie is when he wants Dave on his bad side and have his own penis sliced in half… perpendicularly…

Striders don't steal what the other Strider wants, especially with so-called "lovers".

"I had the weirdest dream that I'm actually in prison… and I have a scary cellmate and–"

In a quick snap, it seems John is staring wide-eyed as if completely caught in the act and is horrified as he stares at Dave's eyes. He actually reacts funny. John seems to be silently screaming and hyperventilating as he quickly tries to crawl away from Dave.

Then, John falls off of the bed. And with a small yet audible bam, John is knocked out by the floor…

But what John had said… Dirk chuckles.

"So, you're a scary cellmate to him, huh?" Dirk smirks.

"Shut up."

"And pretty much ran away from you." Dirk then chuckles. "Or rather, crawl."

"Get the fuck away, bro."

"Pretty sure he isn't interested in you anytime soon."

"Verpiss dich."

"Sure thing… scary cellmate."

Dirk exit after dodging a rather sharp item thrown by Dave, chuckling all the way and actually forgetting about being in a bad mood and having a lighter with barely any light.

Of course, that happy mood didn't last long since Dirk is back in his cell and has plenty of cigarettes but no light. This is horrible irony…

Jake is on his top bunk and giggling about something.

Dirk tries once again to get a light but like the others, it's just a click. There's nothing but a click and a flush from this shitty lighter. No fuel to actually light a fire, Dirk is stuck in his cell with an unused cigarette in his mouth. Dirk is going to get Dave for this…

Sure, Dirk can perform patience and charm like a badass professional but those are only for jobs. There is no way in all irony that Dirk could have patience through and through. It's like not being pissed off by Dave's so-called "irony" which is shitty English rap (thank fuck he doesn't rap in German) and then there' that shitty webcomic that Dave used when he had little knowledge of English.

"Dirk…" Well fuck, Jake is looking at him and is chuckling. Dirk likes Jake but there are those fits that can be rather scary at times. "Where's that little light of yours…?"

Dirk looks at Jake's emerald eyes, unstable and wide, as they bore on his. Jake giggles and actually pokes at Dirk's cheek. Luckily, Jake's finger is clean and had no gashes yet. And Jake giggles again as well as pokes his cheek.

Sure, Dirk is semi-glad inside that Jake isn't having a fit but…

"Jake, what the hell are you doing?"

"Language, Dirk… Language…"

"Okay, what are you doing?"

Jake cutely giggles. His upside-down head disappears to the bank before he fully gets down, smiling sort of sane-like. Of course, Dirk immediately sits up just in case if Jake wants to do something called "fisticuffs", something saner and better than a fit. But Jake just giggles cutely and suspiciously hiding both his hands behind his back as if he was some ironic mischievous kid up to no good.

"I want you to close your eyes…"

Dirk raises an eyebrow at the smiling green-eyed convict. Sure, Dirk does trust him in some way but…

"You're not going to do anything bad at me, are you?"

Jake giggles and shakes his head.

"Of course not, old chap… This… this is a good surprise… I promise… Cross my bloody heart and hope to die with a needle on that scoundrel's eye…"

Dirk chuckles a little on the inside at the last part. In a way, it's ironically funny.

Dirk sighs and actually closes his eyes. His assassin training and experience will help him so he shouldn't feel uneasy. And Jake never did lie to him.

He then hears a familiar click… and feels a familiar burning sound.

"You can open your peepers now…"

Dirk does open his eyes and the cigarette that he has on his mouth… it's lit… Dirk looks at the still smiling Jake who has what seems to be a new lighter…

"The rat had it in those dirty pockets of his… You were also clicking a lot lately…"

Dirk can't help but let a smile of appreciation as he takes a deep inhale and enjoys the warm cloud in his lungs. It's… quite nice really. Jake had those moments where he isn't that unstable sadistic person but… rather caring, kind of like his cuteness, in a weird kind of way.

So what if Dirk has this weird hybrid of admiration and crush on Jake, it's not going to be some bother or weakness on him.

Dirk ironically has a thing or two for weirdness.

"Oh Dirk…" Jake then coos out of nowhere. He actually gently grabs Dirk's chin and swipes the still burning cigarette out of his mouth. Jake cutely giggles. "Shh…"

Dirk can't help but freeze. It's not because he sees bad effects from Jake's fits. Nope, Jake is getting closer to his face… really getting close to him… It's not deadly but it's dangerous…

Dirk can feel the warm breath of Jake, the barely brushing lips on his. Shit, Dirk hasn't felt this edgy since his first killing mission as Jake chuckles and stares at him with those green eyes. He then feels the strong pink muscle actually licking his lower lip. Dirk tries to open his mouth yet the hand on his chin is firmly gripping it, keeping the mouth closed and shut.

Then Jake does a weird open-mouth kiss over Dirk's lips.

Dirk closes his eyes as he feels the licking of Jake's rough tongue as well as the hard sucking, most likely going to cause his damn lips to become plump and hot red. This isn't even a proper kiss yet it's very satisfactory to Dirk. The hand is still gripping his chin, causing Dirk to not move and Jake in control, sucking harsh and licking sensationally…

Suddenly, Jake stops.

His lips and tongue moves away from Dirk's lips and Jake smiles.

"There…" Jake coos. "Your lips aren't dry anymore, old chap…"

Jake puts the still burning cigarette back to Dirk's mouth and the lighter on Dirk's lap. He chuckles and goes back to his top bunk as if nothing happened…

Bro had taught both Dave and Dirk not to fall in love…

Then again, Bro was a shitty teacher…

And we have now introduced the four main characters!

I'm beginning to actually have fun with the characters, not really worry much about any of them being OOC. They are quite unique in their very own way!

John is a bit of scaredy-cat but is kind and generous and has a fine ass while somehow being oblivious to obvious things.

Dave is a "smooth cool guy" who can battle his own fights and wants that Egbert ass.

Dirk is the supposed perfect assassin on a mission to escape but with one weakness, Jake.

And Jake is a complete psycho with a nice ass. :)

But before they can even escape, they'll have to face the prison life, especially John. :D

And thanks for reading, please review and bye-bye!